Teenagers a MCR fanfic
by GothicToeLicker
Summary: everything seems to be falling apart! with parent troubles, girl troubles, boy troubles, bullies, and just the daily challenges of adolesence, things can't get any worse, right? wrong. can the boys hold it together? MCR in high school
1. Chapter 1

**She is not dead! yea, I'm still here. Sorry for the huuuuge break I took from publishing anything. School got in the way. But I'm back now. **

**This is a new thing I'm working on for the band My Chemical Romance, and despite the title it really doesn't have too much to do with the song. Basically what I've done is taken the guys from MCR and put them in high school. I've aged them down to be teenagers, but am not writing about them as they actually were in high school. I'm writing about them as they are now, and what that would be like in a high school setting. **

**WARNINGS: bad language, violence, some sexual themes (It's high school, what did you expect?) also some Frerard fluff stuff. I'm not a big Frerard supporter, though I do find it incredibly sexy when they kiss, but for the plot of this story it's necessary. Also it's going to be dealing with some dark themes in this story, like death and alcoholism, hatred, depression, suicide and heart break. **

**I'm pretty confident about this story and I'm gonna have fun writing it. Hope you guys enjoy it.**

**!**

"There's no reason to be nervous, Mikey," Gerard reassured his little brother as they walked together to Jersey City Central High School. Mikey, a new freshman, was anxious at the thought of a new school year.

"Easy for you to say, you're a junior," Mikey grumbled to his older brother, who rolled his eyes.

Gerard's best friend, Frank Iero, sat up in a tree at the edge of the school yard and waited for the arrival of the Way brothers. He had a surprise for them.

The moment Gerard's combat boots left the sidewalk for the school's green grass and the hum of their voices could be heard, Frank lept down from the tree. "RAWR!" he yelled right in their faces as he landed at their feet. Gerard stumbled back in surprise while Mikey screamed and dropped to his knees right on the spot. He sat there on the grass, breathless.

Recovered from his shock, Gerard pounded on Frank's shoulder with his fist, and Frank roared with laughter. He fell on his side in the grass, giggling hysterically. Gerard kicked him once.

"What the fuck dude!? He's already scared to death!" Gerard yelled at Franky as Mikey shakely got to his feet. Gerard handed Mikey his plain black book bag with a sigh. MIkey had really wanted to get the unicorn one at Hot Topic. It had looked pretty cool, but Gerard had talked him out of it. This was high school after all. Why make things harder?

"Haha, sorry Mikey," Frank giggled out an apology.

"Screw you," Mikey responded, but he was smiling. No hard feelings.

"HEY EMOS!" the three teens turned to look at the shouter. It was a few Junior boys in a fancy convertable. "Catch!" they yelled from the road and instantly pelted Gerard, Frank, and Mikey with water baloons. They found out that they weren't filled with water when nasty mud exploded all over their dorky school uniforms. Hooting and howling, the teens drove off fast. Gerard flipped them the bird, telling them what exactly they could do with their fancy sports car. He wiped mud from his eyes in disgust while Mikey plucked at his soiled shirt. Frank seemed ready for this situation. Yanking at his uniform tie, he unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off, taking a clean one from his back pack.

"Welcome to the party," he said, tossing Gerard a shirt as well. Gerard stripped to reveal his pale, flat stomach and then immediately covered it with his new white polo. He didn't notice how Frank had been staring at him. Throwing his blazer over his shoulder Gerard wrapped an arm around Mikey's. Then they all walked up to the school together.

**R/R! Forever Reign the Fabulous Killjoys**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two is here. Cookies for anyone who finds the MCR quotes:3. Chapter three is on the way. apologies for the amount of fluff in this one, but it's necessary for the plot. It is meaningful, I promise. bear with me darlings**

**!**

Frank, Gerard, and Mikey all met Ray hanging out by his locker before first hour. He wore a leather jacket over his school shirt and his tie was loosened, breaking the dress code. Not that he cared.

"Hey, you guys look like shit!" he called to them, raising a hand in greeting.

"Thanks," Gerard said with a roll of his eyes.

"We got bombed with mud by some ass holes in the school yard," Frank explained. Ray sighed knowingly.

"They're starting already? Don't they have lives?" Ray said.

"Guess not," Gerard said. "Hey, you got an extra shirt the kid can wear?" He hooked a thumb at Mikey, who was still wearing his mud smeared shirt.

"Yea, let me look," Ray responded, pulling open his locker. He dug through his back pack for a second before pulling out a clean shirt. "Here ya go," he handed it to Mikey.

Mikey took it with a gentle hand and looked around anxiously, debating whether he should change right there in the hall way. Gerard answered his question.

"Come on, Mikey. We have to clean up anyways," Gerard said, and the group walked to the boy's bathroom. There Mikey hid in a stall as he swapped shirts while Gerard and Frank scrubbed mud off of their faces and necks.

"Damn, Gee. Scrub hard enough? It looks like you have a hickey now," Frank teased his friend.

"That's alright, it'll piss off my old man," Gerard said, cracking a smile. Almost everything he did annoyed his father in some way, so now Gerard made a game of it.

Mikey emerged from the bathroom stall holding his dirty shirt balled up in his hand. The new one Ray had given him was all wrinkled and way too big, since Mikey was about ten sizes smaller than Ray (he'd yet to hit his growth spurt.) but hey, it was clean. He smiled sheepishly, fiddling with his tie for a moment and adjusting his blazer.

"Mikey, you got mud on your glasses," Frank informed him. Mikey pulled off his glasses and scrubbed at them with his tie.

The bell above them rang and voices filled the hallways.

"What do you guys have first hour?" Ray asked.

"Chemistry," Frank said.

Gerard gave him a skeptical look. "We took that last year," he said.

"I failed it," Frank sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "No one told me not to drink the chemicals." This got a few chuckles from his friends.

"I have Algebra," Mikey said.

"English," Gerard added.

"I have Trig first hour, so I'll show Mikey where his class is," Toro said.

"Hey guys, serious question," Gerard said as they were walking out of the bathroom. "Does my ass look fat to you?"

"Sure does, Bubble Butt," Frank said laughing. Gerard sent a few inappropriate words in his friends direction.

"I feel kinda like Darth Vader in this jacket," Mikey added.

!

"Damn him," Frank muttered to himself later that day. Thanks to Gerard's earlier question he couldn't stop thinking about his friend's ass. That was weird. That was incredibly weird. But he couldn't stop thinking he should have taken the oppertunity to smack it. Oh my God, why was he even thinking about this? Why would he even want to do that? He was such a freak.

"Hey, Gee," Frank whispered, making Gerard nearly jump out of his skin. Gerard wondered for a moment what his friend had been thinking about.

"Yea?"

"I can chill at your house tonight, right?" Frank asked.

"Yeah sure. More fun having you around," Gerard said, giving a slight grin. Frank grinned, pleased, and turned back to his book. He felt his heart flip slightly inside his chest. _Damn_, he thought. This was wrong. This was stupid and wrong. Gerard and him had been friends for years! Plus they were both guys. Frank should not, could not, have a crush on Gerard. That's just too weird. He was supposed to be the level headed one in this friendship, yet here he was, like a lovesick school girl.

Gerard couldn't help taking side ways glances at Frank every now and then. He could tell something was up, but didn't know what. Something was definitely off about the way Frank had been behaving.

Gerard traced the curve of Frank's jaw with his eyes, imagining how he could sketch it on paper. He memorized the angles of his eyes and the curve of his lips. His lips looked incredibly soft...

Gah! Those thoughts again. He had to stop thinking like that. It was wrong and creepy and gay. As if he didn't have enough problems already, he didn't need to add this in!

The bell rang and everyone lept from their seats.

"See ya after school!" Gerard called.

"Yup," Frank gave him a thumbs up before walking out the door. Two hours to go, Gerard thought to himself. He was almost free of purgatory.

!

It was last hour and Gerard was walking down the hall to his last hour art class. Frank was headed the other way to his History class. When Gerard saw Frank, however; he did an imediate u turn and fought his way to walk beside him. There was something different about Frank, something that hadn't been there earlier in the day. A shiny black eye decorated the left side of his face.

"How'd ya get that thing?!" Gerard asked. When Frank didn't answer, he turned his head to try to make eye contact. Franky was obviously trying to aviod eye contact, keeping his eyes on the wall to his right. "Franky?" Gerard asked. Frank really didn't feel like discussing how he'd gotten the black eye. It was pretty stupid, what he'd done. It wasn't like him at all. Plus Gerard would probably do something rash and crazy. One of Gerard's favorite sayings, "Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge." Mikey had that quality about him too, Frank had noticed. Sometimes he worried about the Way brothers.

Frank saw a crowd flowing towards the science wing of the high school. He made an imediate decision to escape there, break away from Gerard and hide in the crowd.

Gerard read his best friend before Frank got the chance. He grabbed Frank by the crook of his arm and dragged him from the crowd, tripping a poor little freshman in the process. He slammed Frank back against a wall of lockers and pinned him, a hand on each shoulder.

"Frank, who did this to you?" Gerard asked.

"Gave me a concussion via locker? That'd be you Gee Man," Frank said.

"You know that's not what I'm talking about. Who gave you the shiner?" Gerard asked.

At that moment a group of guys in their grade passed by. They were popular jerks, jocks, and big shots of the eleventh grade.

"See, I told ya they were faggots!" one of them called, pointing at Gerard and Frank. Gerard blushed slightly, seeing as the way he had Frank pinned against a wall and everything, it might look like that.

He let go of Frank, turning back at him. Frank was glaring daggers at the guys that were passing.

"Are they the ones?" Gerard asked, but Frank's eyes answered the question.

"HEY FUCKTARDS!" Gerard yelled, hurrying to get behind the group. They turned to him. "What makes you think you can go hitting my friends!?" Gerard yelled.

"Gerard, wait!" Frank yelled at him. He was too late though.

"Aw, protecting your lover, are you?" one guy sneered. Gerard reeled back and punched him in the nose as hard as he could. He felt a crunch, and he like it. But he knew better than to take a chance at hitting him again. He turned, grabbing Frank's arm in the process, and ran down the hallway as fast as he could.

"Why'd they hit you?" Gerard asked as they were running. Frank was certain that they'd lost the bastards, but Gerard could not be reassured.

"They were talking shit. Calling you gay and stuff. We had a bit of a disagreement," Frank explained. Gerard finally slowed down, leaning over and resting his hands on his knees, out of breath. Frank leaned against some lockers feeling sweat in his hair line and under his arms.

"You didn't have to do that," Gerard said, his voice wary. Oh my God, Franky got hit defending him. He'd told them he wasn't gay. But he was gay! Atleast, kinda. What else do you call having a crush on your best friend? I mean, sure, Gerard liked boobs as much as any other Junior guy in high school, but how he felt about Frank certainly wasn't straight.

"Sure I did. They were being dicks. Don't worry, Gerard, it doesn't hurt," Franky said. Gerard felt his ears grow red for a moment. Then he realized that Frank had been talking about his black eye, not something else.

"Yea, well it looks like it does," Gerard said. Frank shrugged. He looked down at his watch and scowled. They were ten minutes late for their seventh hour class. Frank hated being late, it was a stupid thing to get in trouble for. He knew Gerard didn't mind though.

"Think it's safe to head back?" Frank asked. It was Gerard's turn to shrug.

"I don't know, probably," Gerard said. "I'm gonna head to my art class anyways, I guess," Gerard said. "See ya around, dude. Don't let any exterminators get ya," Gerard clapped Frank on the shoulder before turning and walking away. Exterminators was their nick name for the bullies who liked to mess with them. Mostly because "bullies" sounds totally wimpy. Also because they liked to call Frank and them "bugs" for some reason. Just something really stupid.

Frank watched him go and decided he'd better hurry off as well. But then he noticed a paper slip out of the binder Gerard was carrying. Frank almost called him back, but Gerard disappeared around the corner before he got the chance

Frank walked to pick up the paper, deciding he'd give it to Gerard after school. Holding it in his hand though, he suddenly realized it wasn't a school paper. Frank furrowed his eye brows at it. It was a sketch of himself, Frank. It was done with choppy, messy pencil lines and was no where near finished, but it was definitely him. Why would Gerard be drawing him?

Panicked slightly, Frank shoved the thing into his binder. Maybe he wouldn't be giving this back. He didn't want to face that awkward conversation. He'd just hold onto it, maybe slip it into Gerard's room when he wasn't looking. Or maybe he'd keep it. It was pretty good after all.

But still, why would Gerard draw a picture of him!? Anxiety fluttered in Frank's chest, mixed with something else he didn't want to identify.

_ It's nothing,_ Frank told himself. _We're just friends. It's probably something for his art class or something. It's nothing important._


	3. Chapter 3

Mikey didn't have an opinion yet about high school. It was day two of his freshman year, and he was usually good at making opinions, but he just couldn't form one. He'd been watching, and everything seemed much too complicated to put in black and white.

There seemed to be two sides, he decided. There were punks and there were preps. You couldn't base it off clothing, since the county made them wear uniforms (something about preventing teen violence...). You had to base it off character, which made things a bit more complicated.

_ I guess you could base it off hair..._ Mikey thought on a side note. He'd noticed that most of the prep kids looked generally the same, where all of the punk kids looked totally unique. Then there were shoes as well, but that judgement only worked some of the time.

_What's it matter?_ Mikey asked himself. _What I should judge is 'good or bad,' not 'prep or punk.' _There seemed to be a relation between the two, but he guessed it depended what side you were on. The preps thought the punks were the bad guys, and vice versa. But were there really bad guys in high school?

Mikey sat in the courtyard before school started. People were all buzzing around and doing things. Gerard, Frank, and Toro hung out a few feet away from him talking about something important, but he wasn't paying much attention. Lost in his own thoughts, the youngest Way brother stared blankly over the top of a comic book that he held on his lap. Good and bad, black and white. What about grey?

"Hey Mikey," Gerard asked. "What ya thinkin little bro?"

"That the word uniform sounds a lot like the word unicorn. What if we all wore unicorn uniforms?" Mikey said, finding the thought plop into his head out of no where. It was quite amusing actually, the thought, and Mikey found himself snicker at his own joke. Mikey Way was totally obsessed with unicorns.

Gerard ruffled his hair with a baffled expression. "You're something else," he sighed. Toro was laughing and Frank was making a face.

"So anyways, those exterminators better not be starting stuff again this year. I have a plan," Gerard said.

"Does this plan include revenge?" Frank asked.

"Sweet revenge," Gerard smiled evilly, then laughed an adorable laugh. Frank couldn't help but laugh as well. Gerard had that effect on people, like an emotion siren. Whatever he felt tended to reflect onto everyone around him, and his laugh was addictive.

Suddenly, out of no where, a football flew across the school yard. It was aimed at Ray, but missed and hit Mikey right upside the head. The force was great enough to knock the fourteen yeard old over.

"You hit the wrong one, idiot!" the yell could be heard from across the yard. Ray turned to glare at them. Gerard and Frank pulled Mikey quickly to his feet and Frank checked to make sure he was okay. Mikey was very confused, and Frank waving his fingers in front of his face didn't help.

"What the - are you doing?" Mikey asked, pulling away from Frank. Frank grinned.

"Yup, he's fine," he decided.

Gerard bent over and picked up the football with a pale, gentle hand. He looked over at the jocks, who were still staring. He held it up with a questioning expression as if to _ask "This yours?"_

They motioned for him to throw it back. Gerard nodded and took a pen out of his pocket. He stabbed the ball as hard as he could with the pen, making a hole, then drop kicked the ball away.

"There ya go, you-" he finished the sentence with words that would make his ancestors roll in their graves, placing the pen back into his pocket. "You alright?" he asked Mikey.

"Yea, I'm fine," Mikey said. He didn't want to be wimpy or anything, so he wasn't going to tell them he had a headache now.

The bell rang. "Screw the bell," Frank muttered. Eventually they made there way into the school building with everyone else, and Frank ran to his class so he wouldn't be late.

_Revenge will be sweet,_ Mikey told himself as he sat in his first hour Algebra class. He was supposed to be taking notes, but his head was killing him and he couldn't focus, so he took to drawing a unicorn instead.

"Wake up, dumby," a voice said, rowsing Mikey. When had he fallen asleep? How long had he been out? He looked up to find an upperclassman standing over him. The boy wore a letterman jacket instead of the school blazer. He was tall and sturdy. Mikey stared up at him, adrenaline and embarrassment still coursing through his veins.

The jock's face lit up momentarily and he snatched the drawing from under Mikey's arms. Mikey snapped back, surprised, then tried to grab for it.

"Unicorn?" the guy asked, not exactly meanly, but there was still a mocking quality in his voice.

"Got a problem with it?" Mikey challenged. He stood up, glaring at the guy. The jock was a good foot taller than Mikey, but Mikey was brave.

He raised his hands defensively. "No jiffs, man," the guy said. "I was just gonna tell you, the bell rang. You somehow slept through it, and the teach told me to wake you up. And give you this," the jock handed Mikey a detention notice.

Mikey groaned, taking it. _Perfect. Effing perfect! _

"What's your name?" the jock asked.

"Mikey Way," Mikey responded, shoving the note into his pocket and hurrying to gather his books.

"Peter Grey," the kid introduced himself. He shook Mikey's hand, while Mikey attempted to juggle all his books with one arm. "I'll see you around, kid." Peter Grey walked out of the class room through the front door, and Mikey hurried out the back. The detention notice was burning a miserable hole in his pocket, but something else was burning a hole in his mind.

_Grey_, Mikey thought. _That guy's grey. _ Because Mikey was certain he'd seen Peter hanging out with the guys who'd thrown a football at his head.

_High school is grey like a rain cloud,_ Mikey sighed to himself. Then he smirked slightly. _Time to make it colorful._


	4. Chapter 4

_Crap._ Gerard's heart lept out of his chest. _Oh crap oh crap oh crap..._

He was in his room after dinner. His music was turned up loud and he was trying to focus on his Trig homework. As if! This task was so horribly painful that he'd rather kill himself. He flipped open his binder, surfing through his papers when he remembered that sketch he'd done of Frank. Gerard planned to destroy it, probably burn it. It was stupid, drawing Frank in the first place. He couldn't imagine if Frank found it, or Toro or Mikey... He didn't want them getting the wrong idea. And what if his parents found it? Sure, he could cover with a lie but there was no promising they'd buy it.

Besides, he didn't feel anything like that anyways! No way no how. He did not have a crush on Frank. He was... confused. Yea, that was it. He was a teenage boy and his hormones were all screwy and he was just confused. He hadn't had a crush since...

Gerard shut the thought out. _Find the picture_, he told himself. He came to the end of the papers and frowned. _Where was it?_ He knew he'd put it in there. He flipped back to the front and went through his papers again. Nothing. Again, just in case. It wasn't there.

_Holy crap._

Gerard rushed to his back pack, dumping the contents onto the floor. It wasn't there either. He leafed through his Trig book. Nothing. He pulled out his sketch book, knowing it wasn't there, and leafed through it.

_Maybe it's downstairs,_ he thought. The thought didn't help his racing heart beat any. Gerard took the stairs four at a time as he ran down. He hurried into the living room and attacked it. He tore the place apart from top to bottom. It was no where to be seen. He checked the kitchen, nope. Bathroom, nope. Maybe he'd left it...

"Gerard Arthur Way! What on Earth are you doing!?" his mother scolded.

"Uhh..." Gerard had no excuse. What was he doing again? Paper, right. He had to find that sketch. "I'm trying to find a school paper."

"Second day of school and you're already losing things. Look at this mess you've made!"

"Sorry," Gerard mumbled. He looked around the room he was standing in, the living room. _Oh geeze,_ he'd totally destroyed it. "I'll clean it up,"

"You'd better," his mom said before stomping back up the stairs. _Must be that time of the month,_ Gerard thought. Deciding to clean up later, Gerard made his way up to Mikey's room. He knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Mikey called. Gerard opened the door and walked in.

"Hey, Mikey..."

"Hey," Mikey said, not looking up from the game he was playing.

"How's your head doing?" Gerard asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Fine," Mikey said. Gerard looked over the shelves in Mikey's room. He fiddled momentarily with a unicorn figurine. His kid brother was such a dork.

"Say, Mikey. Have you found one of my drawings laying around?" Gerard asked.

"Drawings? Like a comic book layout?" Mikey asked, still not looking up from the screen in front of him.

"Nah, a different kind," Gerard said. "For my art class."

"Sorry, haven't seen it. I'll let you know if I do, okay?" Mikey said.

"Sure, thanks," Gerard sighed. "Whatcha playing?"

"Minecraft. Wanna play?" he offered up a controller, still keeping his eyes on the screen.

"No, that's okay," Gerard said.

"Hey man, you okay?" Mikey looked up at his brother this time, pausing the game. His eyes held a concerned look that only Mikey could pull off perfectly.

"Yea, I'm fine," Gerard said, offering up a grin.

"Promise?"

"I promise," he'd worry about the drawing later. He probably lost it at school, and there nobody would know HE had drawn it. So he was safe. …right?

"Gerard, this is gym class, not nap time! Run!" the horrible Mr. Mehr yelled from the middle of the soccer field. Gerard glared at him with a loathing look he reserved especially for fat, stupid gorillas.

"Yea, Gerard! Run!" two meatheads came up next to Gerard. They smelled like onions and it made Gerard feel sick.

"Run princess! Run!" the other taunted. Gerard flipped them the bird with both his hands as they jogged away from him.

He glanced around the field again, then back at the school. He sighed. Frank was supposed to be in his gym class, so either he was late or missing.

"Gerard! Get to running, or I'll have you washing the jock straps!" Mr. Mehr yelled. _Was he even allowed to do that? _Whatever, Gerard didn't want to risk it. He broke into a trot.

Frank showed up late to gym class. They'd already started their soccer game by the time he showed up. Mr. Mehr assigned him to the blue team, opposite of Gerard. Now one thing that most people don't know about Frank, he's pretty good at soccer. He's also pretty competetive.

Frank got passed the ball. He dribbled it between his feet as he ran down the soccer field. Gerard, who'd been stuck on defense, ran up to meet him. He could atleast _act_ like he was trying.

"Come on Franky, get past me," Gerard taunted, jumping in front of him each time he tried to move.

"Stop messing around, Gerard," Frank said, a laugh in his voice.

"Bet you can't get past me," Gerard said. He made a kick at the ball, but before he got the chance Frank kicked a set of different balls. Gerard folded over from the pain, holding himself and shocked beyond belief. _He'd just been kicked in the effing balls! _ Frank was laughing hysterically as he kicked the ball into the goal.

"Walk it off, Way!" Mr. Mehr yelled. Everyone was laughing.

Gerard turned on his best friend, who was still in a fit of giggles. He pounced, tackling Frank around the waste and knocking him over. This broke out into a wrestling match and Mr. Mehr lazily sauntered over.

"Alright boys, break it up," he said in a tone that said he'd rather watch them try to kill each other, but policy adviced against it.

"- hole," Gerard muttered, struggling to his feet. He smirked down at his friend and offered him a hand up. Frank took it.

"Both of you in penalty," Mr. Mehr said boredly. Gerard and Frank walked over there side by side and sat down in the grass. Gerard popped the heads off of dandilions one by one while Frank tied a string of them together.


	5. Chapter 5

"Elena," a voice came over the intercom in Elena's room.

"What do you want?" the old woman sighed. She was so exhausted; why didn't they just leave her alone?

"There's a boy here to see you... _what did you say your name was, hun? Jerry?.."_

_ "Gerard,"_

"Oh for Pete's sake! Let him in!" Elena snapped. She was actually quite happy. She loved her grandson's company.

Gerard walked in, opening and closing the door as softly as he could. His father had told him before that his grandmother was sick and needed her rest, not to bother her. However Elena had called her grandson from a phone in the nursing home and told him otherwise.

"I'm old, Gerard. I need visitors! These stupid - won't let me out of this looney bin to come see you!" Elena had said.

"Hey grandma," Gerard spoke gently, sitting down on the edge of her bed. His grandmother looked so much different, she was changing constantly. Gerard still remembered what she'd looked like when he was nine years old and she was making his costume for the school play. She'd made him costume, help him memorize his lines, taught him to sing...

Elena sat perched up with too many pillows. The bags under her eyes were darker, and her skin seemed to big for her skeleton. It was like she was shrinking.

"How are you?" Gerard asked.

"Barely alive in this *bleeping* place," she said. Elena was the one who'd taught Gerard how to cuss so colorfully. Gerard smiled at her. "Don't let these people get you when you're old. It's no way to live," she said, not exactly using the word people.

"I wish I could get you out of here," Gerard sighed.

"Bah, doesn't matter. Tell me about yourself now, you look like you've grown," Elena said.

"It hasn't been that long since you've seen me, grandma," Gerard said.

"I know, but it's on that script of things grandmothers are supposed to say. You'll learn all this when you're old. So how's school going? Still awful?"

"Awful as always," Gerard said. He couldn't help himself from smiling again. His grandma Elena was one of the few people who actually understood. She didn't give much sympathy and she almost never apologized. The words that came out of her mouth could make the manliest man cry. But she was still very caring and would listen if you were willing to talk. She wouldn't give stupid advice and sympathies, but she always did her best to understand. Gerard had been telling his grandmother everything since the time he was very young.

"Are those idiots still messing with you?" Elena asked. Gerard nodded.

Elena grabbed his chin in her hand and made him look up at her. "Listen to me real good now," she commanded. He stared at her with big hazel eyes. "You are going to be something real special, Gerard. Your brother too. And those losers just don't have the brains to see it or the nuts to face it."

Gerard cracked a smile. "Okay,"

"If you don't believe me then fine, but you know I'm never wrong," Elena shook a bony finger at her grandson.

"Never," he agreed.

"Your father still sucking on lemons?" she asked. Gerard nodded. "About what now?" she asked him.

"Same stuff as always," he sighed.

"You in drama club this year?" she asked.

"Nah, not this year," he responded.

Elena sighed. "All that emotion in your big ole head and you won't join the theater..."

"I'm better at drawing, Grandma. You know that," he said. Gerard had first joined drama when he was nine years old from the prompting of his grandmother. He'd stayed in it until seventh grade, when he'd dropped out. Every new school year she would ask if he'd gone back. She said that the stage would call him one day, and it would be like a siren he couldn't resist.

Elena had a four letter word to say about that statement. Then she continued, "You have any drawings to show me? I could use some beauty in here."

"YOU are beautiful, grandma Elena," Gerard said, giving her a pretty boy grin that melted hearts. It was true, Gerard Way was a pretty boy, in a creepy kind of way.

She had another four letter word for that statement as well. Gerard pulled his binder out of his back pack and handed it to her. She pulled her knees up and sat the thing on her lap, leafing through the papers in a trance. She would smile occasionally at one, and once she even laughed. Elena stopped once and pinched Gerard on the arm.

"Ouch!" he jumped, rubbing his arm. "What was that for?"

"You have a failed math paper in here," she scolded, giving him the stink eye. Gerard smiled sheepishly. Elena continued.

"Oh, why isn't this one marvelous..." she hummed, running her hand gently over a paper. Gerard wondered which one was good enough to earn her approval in such words. "Gerard, isn't this that friend of yours? Little Franky? My, has he grown," she said.

Gerards blood turned ice. He quickly snatched the paper in his hand and studied it. There it was, the sketch he'd done of Frank. But there were a few things added; a few lines were darkened and the hair line completed. How the heck had that happened? Better yet, how'd it gotten back into his binder? He knew he couldn't find it the night before...

He held it in a trembling hand, gaping down at it.

"What is it, Gerard?" Elena asked him.

"N-nothing," he stuttered out, then swallowed. He carefully handed it back to her. "I just thought it might be something else."

"You haven't been drawing dirty pictures, have you?" she asked him, stink eye back again.

"N-no! Of course not!" he reassured.

"If you have them in here, take em out now. I don't want to see that kinda crud," she said, pushing the binder at him.

"No, no there's nothing like that. I promise," he said setting the binder back on her lap.

"Lordy, how your ears can turn red Gerard," she said. He tried concentrating on not blushing, and it only made things worse. "Is something going on with _your friend_?" The way she said friend made Gerard's heart skip. Holy crap holy crap holy mother trucking crap!

"No, nothings going on," he said honestly.

She stared at him, concentrating for a moment. "Gerard, you aren't gay," she finally said. His ears only got darker and he had no response to that. "You won't admit to anything going on here, but I can tell you're lying. Tell me, how long has it been since you dated that Mary girl?"

"Er, two years," he said.

"That was your last girlfriend?"

"Yea,"

"And how long have you known Frank?" she asked him.

"Since third grade,"

"You're very close," she observed. Gerard nodded, feeling ashamed. He wasn't exactly sure why though. "You're young, Gerard. Your hormones are all crazy, and you're curious. You care a lot for Frank, as a friend, and these feelings are disguising themselves like this," Elena told him.

"This can happen to someone when they care about someone very much. And seeing as it's been two years since your last relationship this is completely natural,"

_Then why do I want to kiss him?_ Gerard thought. Holy -, where did that thought come from!? Oh my God, Gerard was so screwed up. It was one thing to have a crush on his friend, but wanting to kiss him was a step to far into the gay zone.

"Can we not talk about this, please?" Gerard asked.

"I'm only telling you the truth, Gerard," she told him.

"I understand,"

"Good," she nodded.

"And can we not tell my dad about this conversation?" Gerard added as an after-thought. A just-in-case thing. He had enough problems with his dad.

"I don't tell your father anything, that - -. Sticking me in a home like I'm defective or something..." she grumbled. Gerard sighed with relief.

"I gotta get going, Grandma," Gerard said, standing up from his seat on the edge of the bed. He took his binder from her and shoved it into his backpack.

"Don't leave this old woman here to die," she said.

"I'll come visit, I promise," he said, bending over and kissing her on the forehead. "I love you, Grandma."

"I love you too, you vampire," she said, making a face at him. She'd been calling him a vampire since the day he'd dyed his hair black from its regular brown.

Gerard walked out slowly. The brightly lit hallways mixed with the colorful decorations of the nursing home felt both nauseating and comforting at the same time. Gerard was losing his mind, that was official. A nurse unlocked the front door for him, after checking that he hadn't stolen anything. Nobody trusts teenagers in New Jersey. Outside the air was muggy and wet, but the overcast clouds hid the sun from view, making everything dark. Gerard started his tread home, then remembered he was supposed to walk Mikey home from detention. He laughed to himself. His kid brother had detention on the third day of high school. That was pretty bad, in a good kind of way that Gerard admired.

!

Frank lay on his bed and stared up at his ceiling, which he'd painted black forever ago. He'd gotten in a big fight with his mom the day he'd done it. It had been ninth grade, when he was going through that phase. He'd said he couldn't stand the whiteness of it all, that it was eating his soul. That excuse didn't go over well. So Frank pulled the divorce card. Alas, his ceiling was still black.

Frank didn't feel very dandy about sneaking that picture back into Gerard's binder the way he did. He didn't mind breaking into Gerard's locker. In fact, that was to be expected. But he knew he shouldn't have added onto the drawing. He wasn't nearly as good as Gerard, and no doubt Gerard would notice it. Gerard was like that about his art work.

_He won't figure it out,_ Gerard told himself. _And besides, it's a drawing of me! I can edit it if I want to..._

"Frank! Telephone!" Frank's mother, Linda, called from the hallway.

Frank rolled himself off of his bed and stumbled to his feet. He shuffled to the door in sock feet. It was probably his father, who lived in Florida after the divorce five years ago. He still called regularily, and Frank always talked to him, even if he had nothing to say.

Frank opened the door to his mother.

"It's a girl!" she whispered excitedly, smiling wide and holding the phone out to him.

"A girl?" he asked, furrowing his eye brows. He took the phone from her and held it up to his ear. His mother stood there excitedly, obviously not caring if she appeared rude. She'd probably just listen over the other line anyways if she went away.

"Hello?" Frank asked.

"Hey Frank. This is Jami, from Spanish," a girl's voice on the other end said cheerily.


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey!" Peter raised a hand in greeting as he approached Mikey in the hallway. He had another boy with him, big and beafy like Peter, who also wore a letterman's jacket. Mikey looked up at him and nodded a greeting. "It's Mickey, right?" Peter asked as he walked up.

"Mikey, actually," Mikey responded. He set his Avengers comic book on a shelf in his locker, then pressed it closed with a gentle hand.

"Mikey, right," Peter said, snapping his fingers. He nodded as it were a test question he'd missed by a stupid mistake. "Anyways, Mikey this is Kevin. And Kevin, this is Way's little brother," Peter introduced MeatHead number two.

"You don't say," Kevin gave a low whistle and looked over Mikey with an impressed expression on his face. Mikey looked down at himself as well, wondering what was so impressive. "You don't look much like Way," Kevin told him.

"I haven't grown yet," Mikey explained with a shrug. Growth spurt, growth spurt... where far art though, growth spurt?

"Yea, and you don't die you hair or wear make up," Kevin cracked a joke and Peter laughed at it. Mikey simply stared at him.

"Gerard doesn't wear make up," Mikey told him.

"It's a joke, kid," Peter sighed.

"I didn't find it very funny," Mikey said. He was keeping his expression very calm, but in reality the two guys in front of him were ticking him off.

"You should sit with us today," Peter said, changing the subject.

"Sit with you?" Mikey asked.

"At lunch, come on," Peter said, placing an arm behind Mikey back and propelling him to walk with them. "You'll love it at our table."

_Great way to make friends, Peter. Insult their brother and then kidnap them,_ Mikey thought irritably. But the two guys who were pushing him foreward were much larger than him, so Mikey didn't see the harm in just one lunch period.

!

Mikey approached the table a bit nervously. He smiled at the strangers even though he really didn't want to. The sandwhich he held gripped in a plastic bag in his hand was slightly squished in his fist. All the people, obviously preps (popular ones too!) turned to look at him. Mikey couldn't help but feeling intimidated.

"Hey guys, this is Mikey!" Peter introduced Mikey, who automatically felt small sandwiched between both Peter and Frank.

Several people called greetings to Mikey and introduced themselves, but Mikey didn't even try to remember their names. Peter had him sit down next to him at the end of the table and he sat there not listening to what everyone was saying.

He looked around the cafeteria anxiously and searched for Gerard or Frank or Ray. He hoped they would either get him out of there, or atleast understand why he was missing.

Mikey became aware of someone talking to him.

"Huh?" he asked, blushing slightly.

Several people laughed, and an older girl- probably a senior, proclaimed how cute he was. Mikey knew what she meant though. He wasn't dating material 'cute,' he was little kid cute. It was pretty sad.

"What's it like being related to Gerard?" a girl asked him. It was the kind of question you asked a person who was related to a celebrity, but Mikey knew it wasn't that kind of question. This was more of a "what's it like being related to a serial killer?" question. All eyes at the table stared at him eagerly.

"It's cool. We're pretty close actually. We spend a lot of time together," Mikey said, hoping it might be his ticket out of there.

"Why'd he die his hair?" another girl asked.

"He just wanted to," Mikey said with a shrug. "I think it was my grandma's idea."

"Is he really gay with that Frank guy?" a dude, who may or may not be named Tony (Mikey couldn't remember) asked. Mikey was ready to jump to his brother's defense when he felt two hands set down on his shoulders. Mikey twisted his head back to see who it was.

"Hey Mikey, how's it going?" Gerard asked, leaning down to be near Mikey's ear.

"Good," Mikey said quietly. He was incredibly relieved to have Gerard their, yet worried at the same time. Gerard was like a sheep who'd just wandered into a wolf pack. White and black.

"Making friends?" Gerard asked. Mikey was about to respond when Kevin interjected.

"Get out of here, insect. Nobody wants you," Kevin snapped. Gerard crossed his arms over his chest and gave an amused smile.

"That's not what your mom said last night," he responded.

"Say that again?" Kevin challenged. His face turned red and he rose to his feet to face Gerard.

"That's-Not-What-Your-Mom-Said-Last-Night!" Gerard sounded it out slowly and carefully, as if adressing a stupid person, which he was.

"Not worth my time to beat up something as pathetic as you," Kevin spat. "You'll kill yourself soon enough anyways."

"Hey Kevin, this is your girlfriend, right?" Gerard asked nonchalantly, walking up behind the girl who had previously asked what it was like to live with him.

"Don't you touch her, faggot," Kevin snapped.

"If I'm a faggot then you don't have much to worry about, do you?" Gerard said simply. He pulled a chair up to the table backwards and stradled it, slinging an arm around the girls shoulders.

"I bet he's small, isn't he?" Gerard whispered loud enough for everyone to hear. "I bet it's like putting in a tampon, so small that you're still a virgin."

"That's enough, Way!" Peter demanded.

Gerard leaned in really close to the girl's face, breathing steadily on her cheek. "How would you like to fuck a real man?" he teased.

Kevin's fist connecting with the side of Gerard's head was enough force to knock him out of his chair. He landed on his back on the linoleum. Kevin moved to advance on Gerard, who stayed sprawled on the floor. Peter, however; grabbed Kevin's arms and held him back.

"Leave him alone, Kevin," Peter demanded. Several other guys at the table had stood, ready to attack Gerard. Mikey watched his older brother. He could tell that he was scared, and that he knew his joke had gone to far. But Mikey also knew his father would never show these people his fear.

Mikey lept out of his chair and over to Gerard. He pulled his brother to his feet and grabbed his wrist in a thin hand.

"Come on, Gerard, let's get out of here," Mikey said, pulling Gerard away.

"That's right, run you insects! Get out of here!" Kevin yelled, still fighting against Peter, who was obviously stronger than him.

"Too far, man," Mikey said quietly as the pair walked down the hallway. "Too far..."

"Yeah, I know," Gerard admitted solemnly. "Sure was fun though, huh?" He gave a genuine smile at his little brother, and Mikey smiled back despite himself.

"You mother fucker," Mikey smiled, wrapping Gerard in a bear hug.

"Right back at ya, bro," Gerard laughed. His kid brother sure was something else.


	7. Chapter 7

For the next week Mikey stayed away from the preps. He hung out with his brother and Frank and Ray, but he felt guilty, like he was hiding behind them. He had nothing to be afraid of. It was Gerard who'd ticked them off, not Mikey.

But he was related to Gerard, and that was bad enough.

Not like Mikey was ashamed of being Gerard's brother or anything. Sure, Gerard could be really weird and embarrassing and liked to torture Mikey on occasion, but Mikey loved his brother to pieces. Gerard was the one who let Mikey talk to him, and who'd played hours of stupid imaginary games when they were younger, and who would jump in a fight for Mikey in an instant, no questions asked.

Gerard was also going to get them both killed, Mikey decided. He clung with a death grip to his seat as their parent's car bounced down the high way. Gerard was at the wheel, ciggarrette hanging cooly from his lips, even though he was too young to be smoking anyways. He weaved in and out of traffic, obviously in a rush to get to the nursing home.

Grandma Elena had called telling them to get their arses over there pronto. Gerard obviously took the word "pronto" very literally.

"Next time I drive," Mikey said through gritted teeth.

"You're too young to drive," Gerard said, turning to look at Mikey.

"Eyes on the road!" Mikey demanded, his heart leaping out of his chest. Gerard rolled his eyes but looked back at the road. "You're too young to smoke and you still do it."

"Yes, but the difference is that I look old enough. You don't," Gerard pointed out. Mikey mumbled something under his breath and crossed his arms, pouting.

Gerard reached out and turned up the radio volume. Iron Maiden blasted over the speakers loud enough to rattle the windows.

Eventually, finally, Gerard pulled off of the high way drove down the long driveway to the nursing home. The driveway was about half a mile long, surrounded by flowery trees and bushes and flowers. The nursing home was nice and secluded. The perfect place to die.

Gerard stopped the car and Mikey pried himself out on shaky legs. He was nervous, for two reasons. First, he still wasn't recovered from his older brother's reckless driving. Also, this was only the second time Mikey had seen his grandmother in the nursing home. She used to live in a nice little house a few blocks from Mikey's own house. But then she had her accident, and Mr. Way stuck her here. Mikey knew that Gerard hated their father for it, and though Mikey didn't agree with it he also didn't pick sides. Picking sides in a war like this leads only to trouble.

"You coming, Mikey?" Gerard paused at the door to look back at his brother, who was still standing by the car.

"Yea, I'm coming," Mikey said, shutting the car door and walking over.

"There's no reason to be nervous," Gerard said, ringing the buzzer to let them in.

"Last time you said that I got attacked with mud," Mikey said. Gerard didn't respond to that.

"How may I help you?" a woman's voice came over the speaker.

"We're here to visit Elena Rush," Gerard responded, sticking his hands into his hoody pockets.

"The left door is unlocked," the woman said, then clicked off. Mikey opened the door after hearing the sound of the dead bolt and walked in. He was hit with an immediate heat wave. They obviously kept the heat up for the elderly, who were almost always freezing. The whole place smelled like disinfectants and old people body odor. As they walked past the kitchen Mikey saw what they served as food there. Mush. Colorless, horrible smelling mush that was either corn or apples.

"Hey Martha," Gerard greeted a little old lady in a wheel chair.

"Andrew," she said, looking up at him with a heart broken face. "Andrew, where is my room?" she asked Gerard. Mikey stood there confused.

"It's down there, Martha," Gerard pointed down a hallway to the left. Martha held up a hand and Gerard kissed it. Martha smiled at him and began wheeling away.

"Andrew?" Mikey asked Gerard a moment later as they walked down the hall to the nurse's station.

"If she wants to call me Andrew then I'll let her," Gerard told him. "In her mind she's twenty years old and I'm her fiance. It's a better place than reality."

Mikey nodded in understanding.

The two approached the counter and a middle aged woman in scrubs looked up at them. Her expression looked cautious, and Mikey realized that Gerard and he probably looked like hoodlums. Mikey wore faded and ripped jeans, totally destroyed at the knees, and a black band tee. Gerard wore straight black jeans and a red collared shirt, unbuttoned to reveal a black tee with holes, and a ratty hoodie over both. Mikey's dirty blonde hair was growing out and hung over his face from under his hat. Gerard's hair, while still trimmed, curled out wildly in places and lay tossled over his head. It was still shorter, not quite touching his collar, but still messy and died jet black.

"Elena, you've got visitors," the nurse said into an intercom. "Jerry, right?" she asked Gerard.

"It's Gerard, and Mikey," Gerard told her, running a hand through his hair and smiling.

"_Just let the bastards in!"_ a voice came out of the machine.

"Go ahead in," the nurse sighed, pointing down the hallway.

"Took you long enough," Elena grumbled as her grandsons walked in.

"Nice to see you too, Grandma," Gerard greeted his grandmother.

"Mikey, you've worn through your pants," she said.

"Yeah, I know," Mikey said.

"It's my fault. If I was back home I'd have sewn them up by now," Elena said. She struggled momentarily to sit up, and Gerard helped her gently. "Get my wheel chair, Mikey. I'm sick of this bed," she instructed. Mikey looked around the room and saw the wheel chair in the corner of the room. He wheeled it over.

Gerard helped Elena to sit gently down in the chair.

"Mikey, you drive because Gerard'll kill me," Elena instructed. Mikey smiled proudly taking hold of the wheelchair handles.

"I would never kill you," Gerard said sweetly.

"Mhm," Grandma Elena gave him the stink eye. "Let's go find some coffee."

"Are you allowed to have coffee?" Mikey asked. Gerard gave a chuckle, knowing what was coming next.

"I don't care what I'm allowed to do or not allowed to do, Michael Way. I am a grown woman, not a four year old. If I want some coffee, then you better believe I'm gonna get some!" Elena insisted. "Wait, Gerard, get my hat. I can't be seen out there without it."

Gerard retrieved the sun hat from the small closet in Elena's hat and she secured it on her head. She hated being bald more than anything else. It was embarrassing. It was a reminder that she was old and that she was sick.

Mikey managed to wheel Elena into the back yard after pursuading a few nurses as Gerard snuck off to find coffee. He eventually stole some from the nurses office while they were all busy bothering Mikey.

"Isn't it horrible?" Elena asked after a moment of silence sitting under an oak tree. Mikey sat at the base of the tree on the grass, and Gerard stood leaning against it.

"Huh?" Mikey asked.

"The grass," Elena said. "It's so young and green now, but any day it could be stepped on or chopped up or poisened. It's going to die and it doesn't even matter, cause it's just grass," Elena finished with a sad sigh.

Mikey asked Gerard a question with his eyes, and Gerard shrugged back a response.

"Don't get old, boys," Elena warned.

There was no response to this.

"I guess I should tell you..." Elena finally spoke again, choking out the words that had been eating away at her.

"Tell us what?" Gerard asked.

Elena gave a big, sad sigh. She closed her eyes gently before speaking. "I'm quitting chemo," she finally admitted. Gerard, who'd just taken a drink, sprayed coffee all over the lawn.

"What!?" he choked.

"Well, you heard me!" Elena snapped, a tear running down her soft cheek. "I-I just can't do this anymore, baby. The tumors have gotten worse, and the chemo hasn't made any progress. Counting down the days to go... it just ain't living. I'm quitting the chemo, and the doctor says I'll die peacefully."

"H-how long?" Gerard asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"I don't know," Elena admitted. Gerard slumped back against the tree, staring at the ground. Mikey sat where he was, frozen and studying the leaves of the tree with no interest.

"There's still hope... the chemo might help," Gerard said, trying to find an answer.

"Gerard, I'm old. If I'm going to die, I don't want to be filled with chemicals when it happens," Elena said.

"You always told us to go down fighting," Mikey finally spoke.

"I've been fighting for too long. It's time to get a chair for the broken," Elena stated.

"How could you do this?" Gerard snapped. "Just leaving us... don't you love us!?" he demanded. Elena reached up a thin hand and grabbed a hold of her grandson's shirt front, pulling him down to her eye level.

"I love you more than I've ever loved anything in the world," Elena spat. "You two are the reason I've kept living this long. Don't act like I'm giving up, Gerard. I don't plan on dying just yet, and I'll still be around to whoop you if I have to!" Elena spat. Then she wrapped her bony arms around his neck and held him close. Gerard stayed there, bent over awkwardly, and hugged his grandmother back tightly. He felt her tears hit his cheek and make it wet. He'd never seen her cry, and he was scared.

"Mikey, get your butt up here and hug this old woman," Elena demanded, breaking away from Gerard for a moment. Mikey lept to his feet and wrapped his arms around his grandmother. They stayed like that for a good few minutes.

"I'm sick of this," Elena finally said, mopping at her eyes with the back of her hand. "Let's go back inside." Mikey let go of his grandmother and pushed her wheel chair inside. Gerard followed behind him solemnly.

"I've got something, for both of you," she said. "In my room."

They returned to her room and Elena pointed to the dresser, where a small rectangular object sat wrapped in newspaper. "For Mikey," she said. Mikey opened the package with gentle figures and found a book. Ecstacy: Three Tales Of Chemical Romance, the title read.

"Grandma..." Mikey said slowly. "Is this a dirty book?"

"You'll find it has some value when you're older, Mikey," Elena told him, then blew her nose noisily into a handkercheif.

"Mikey, go ask the nurse for a glass of water please," Elena said. Mikey nodded, setting the book down on the dresser, and left the room quietly. "Come here, Gerard," Elena said. Gerard walked over and sat down gently on the edge of Elena's bed, where she was now settled. Elena reached under her pillow and pulled out a roll of dollars.

"Take it," she told him. Gerard took it, slightly shocked, and counted it carefully. He looked up at her, astonished.

"Grandma, this is five hundred dollars," he said.

"I know it's not much..."

"Not much!?" he laughed. "Grandma, I can't accept this."

"Yes you can, it's for that band you're starting up. I tell you, Gerard, you're going to go places and you need something to start with."

"We don't even have all of our members together," Gerard said, folding the money carefully.

"How many songs have you written?" Elena asked him.

"Around seven," Gerard said.

"You're going to find that band member somewhere you'll never expect them. You'll be marvelous, baby," Elena said, patting Gerard's cheek.

"I love you," Gerard choked out, wrapping Elena in a hug. She grinned, hugging him back gently. "Get a hold of yourself," she sighed, russeling his hair.

Mikey walked back into the room carrying a glass of water. He stopped and stared at them.

"Is everything okay?" he asked as he walked over and set the glass on the bed side table. Gerard straightened instantly and pocketed the money before Mikey could see it.

"Yes, everything is fine. Why don't you boys head home now? Leave this old woman to sleep," Elena said.

Back at home Gerard called Frank from his room. "Hey Franky, the band is back in business," Gerard informed him.

"_Hey Gerard, could you come get me?" _Frank said, his voice a bit panicked, or maybe just excited, on the other end.

"Sure, what's up?" Gerard asked.

"_I'm in New York..." _

"New York!?" Gerard exclaimed. "What the hell are you doing there!?"

_"I can't explain right now... just please, can you come?"_ Frank asked.

"Yea, sure. I'll be there as soon as I can. What part of New York?"

"_Uh, City..."_

"NYC? Holy shit, Frank," Gerard sighed, thinking of how much gas money it would take to get there.

_ "Please,"_ Frank begged. _"I'll explain everything, just please come get me."_

"I'm on my way, Franky," Gerard said. He threw some stuff in a back pack and slung it over his shoulder. He pocketed his cell phone and snuck out of the house, deciding to call his parents later and tell them where he'd went, since they probably wouldn't give him permission to borrow the car and drive to New York.

_ Always better to ask for forgiveness than permission_, Gerard told himself as the engine revved to life.


	8. Chapter 8

"Michael," Mr. Way said as he walked into Mikey's room without knocking. Mikey looked up at him from where he was laying on his bed, and quickly sat up. His father looked pissed.

"What's up?" Mikey asked, pressing the pause button on his ipod.

"Have you seen Gerard?" he asked.

Mikey shrugged, "Not since we got back from the nursing home this morning."

"We can't find him," Mr. Way said. "And the car's missing."

"He took the car?" Mikey asked. _He's dead._

"He didn't tell you where he was going?" Mr. Way asked suspiciously.

"I didn't know he had left," Mikey said. "You could ask Frank's mom." Mr. Way didn't like talking to Frank's mom, though. They'd had a secret affair about 5 years prior that ended nastily. Mikey wasn't supposed to know about that kind of thing, but when you're older brother's best friends with your father's lover it's hard to avoid. Especially when thirteen year old Frank accidently walked in on them once…

"We'll see," Mr. Way decided before walking out of Mikey's room.

Mikey tried texting Gerard, but got no response. He tried calling him, and Frank too. Nothing from either of them. Finally, he called Toro.

"Heeey, Milky Way, what's up?" Toro answered his cell.

"Hey, Ray. Have you heard from Gerard?" Mikey asked.

"Nah, not since yesterday, why?" Ray asked.

"He took off, took the car... my dad's pissed and Gee won't answer his cell," Mikey said. Ray took a pause to think, and Mikey envisioned him rubbing his chin like an old guy with a beard. Of course none of them could grow beards. They could only fantasize about having that kind of facial hair.

!

It didn't take long for Gerard to get to New York, only a half an hour. Still, it took a lot of gas money Gerard didn't have. What took him a while was finding Frank, since the directions he'd been given were less than adequate. Gerard felt like he was driving in circles for hours- it was only about twenty minutes, when his phone rang and said Frank was calling him.

"Hello?" Gerard answered.

"Hey, Gee," Frank said into the phone. His voice sounded deep, kinda sleepy. Pretty sexy.

"Where are ya?" Gerard asked, stopping for a red light and running a hand through his black hair, which was getting greasy already. Frank gave Gerard the name of the location and the address. It was in an older part of NYC, more industrial and about a twenty minute drive across the city. Gerard sighed, wondering how he'd turn the car around in this crazy traffic. He was also wondering what Frank was doing all the way over in the bad part of NYC.

Gerard's phone rang again and the screen read Mikey, for the fourth time. Gerard sighed. He could basically tell what was happening at home from the number of times his phone was ringing.

It started with his dad calling, meaning he'd seen the missing car and his missing son and pieced the two together. Then he must have gone to Mikey, since Mikey had started calling. Mikey probably got worried and called Ray, who had also called his phone three times.

He felt bad about making his brother and his friend worry, but Gerard just couldn't force himself to answer their calls. He stared down at his phone, which buzzed on the passenger seat. The ring tone Gerard associated with Mikey, the nyan cat song, played through the car. Gerard had felt weird since he'd seen his grandmother that morning. Excited as he was about the money for the band, he felt completely empty. He felt really tired, like he could just curl up and fall into an apathetic sleep for a few centuries.

He also felt angry.

_Just like a match__,__ you try to incinerate, _

_ the lives of everyone you love... _Gerard quickly scratched it down on a piece of paper while he drove. It was one of his habits now, writing down random song lyrics whenever they popped into his head. They'd be useful one day.

But how could his grandmother just give up like that? How could she just stop fighting? Elena was the one who'd taught Gerard, since the time he started school, to fight back. Attack anything that hurts you with all your strength. And now she was just giving up. She was ready to die...

Gerard felt hot tears sting his eyes and wiped them away irritably. _Fuck,_ he thought. He wiped them away and swallowed the lump in his throat, which only made it bigger. He punched his steering wheel with all his might as he slammed on the breaks at a red light. The horn blared, and he punched it again and again. Finally he just dropped his head onto it.

_Get control of yourself, Gee Man,_ Gerard could hear Frank's voice, even though Frank wasn't there. But the voice was right, he needed to calm down.

This didn't mean death. Brain cancer didn't always kill people... _Maybe there's something else that will help her,_ Gerard thought. He convinced himself that Grandma Elena would be okay.

After much convincing Gerard managed to stop crying. _I'm such a freaking emo kid sometimes_, Gerard thought, which got him to laugh. _Maybe those exterminators are right..._

His phone started ringing again. Nyan cat. Mother fucking nyan cat. Gerard knew he should answer it- it was the ninth time Mikey had called after all. But he also knew that as soon as Mikey heard his voice he'd know something was wrong. His kid brother was like that; he could read Gerard like a book. And if he thought something was wrong then he'd start talking about Grandma Elena. Gerard just couldn't take that.

Gerard didn't plan to talk about it. Elena had told him not to tell anybody, especially not his father, and Gerard didn't plan to. He was slightly excited to find Franky, that way he could deal with Frank's problems and ignore his own.

_I have too many effing problems_, Gerard sighed. Another lyric pieced itself together in Gerard's mind and he wrote it down, using the steering wheel as a desk and driving with his knees.

_Oh mother what the war did to my legs and to my tongue,_

_ You should have raised a baby girl, I should have been a better son. _


	9. Chapter 9

Frank hadn't spoken a word since he'd gotten in the car. Gerard had found him hanging out outside an old bar in industrial New York City. He'd been sitting on the sidewalk sipping something from a brown paper bag that Gerard later learned was Coca-Cola. He climbed into the passenger side through the open window, not bothering with the door, and simply sat there. He stared at his hands.

Gerard didn't say anything. He was going to wait for Frank to start talking first, since he never liked it when people pushed him to talk. Although it didn't take very much pushing to get Gerard to talk.

Impatient as he was, Gerard managed to entertain himself by staring out the window. He adjusted his eyes around to make the lights look like star bursts, then turn them back normal. He could have fallen asleep right there. Fallen into unconsciousness and wake up leaning on Frank's shoulder. Gently wake Frank up with a kiss to the cheek or the neck.

"I saw my dad today," Frank finally said. Gerard looked over at him without moving his head, only his eyes.

"What happened?" Gerard asked him.

Frank sighed deeply. "I don't even know, Gee. So much shit," he leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes. "I told him about the band..."

Gerard didn't say anything, waiting for Frank to go on if he wanted.

"He's moving to Trenton, and he wants me to go with him," Frank said.

"He's moving?"

"With his fiance," Frank added.

"Holy shit," Gerard couldn't help it when the words slid from his lips.

"That's what I said," Frank sighed. "Gee, he's been single ever since the divorce... he told me he still loves Mom. Why would he be getting married?"

Frank continued. "She's such a broad. Blonde hair and huge tits, it's like he's trying to feel young again. And yet he gets on my ass all the time for acting my age. It's ridiculous. I told him I wouldn't go, that's what started the fight."

"How'd you end up here?" Gerard asked, no longer concerned that he was parked in the middle of the road. It's not like there was much traffic. He watched a drunken guy stumble out of the bar and disappear into the shadows. Everything felt kind of surreal, like Gerard was dreaming it all, or watching a movie. It was a really weird movie.

"I just walked out. I got on the bus and plugged in my ipod. I guess I fell asleep," Frank said. "Next thing I knew the bus driver was yelling at me to get off the bus and I was in New York City. I just started walking and ended up in this shit town before I thought about calling somebody."

Gerard nodded.

"Thanks for coming, Gerard," Frank said.

"No problem, Franky," Gerard said. "You know I'm always here for you."

"I just need a distraction. I've been thinking about this for hours and come to nothing. I need to get out of my mind," Frank said. "Remember when we were little, Gerard? And we used to just run around and make little fires. You always said not to tell, cause it was our secret?"

Gerard wondered why Franky was bringing up this childhood memory, but it made Gerard smile. He remembered those times. He'd loved that freedom, before there was politics and titles and all these problems.

"Yeah, I remember," Gerard said, fiddling with the radio dials, even though the radio was off.

"And then we made that one, and we caught your porch on fire. God, that one was huge," Frank smiled as he said it.

"We were so scared," Gerard remembered with a chuckle. "Thought we were gonna burn down the whole house!"

"We got in so much trouble too," Frank laughed.

"My dad spanked me for that one," Gerard giggled, blushing slightly. "Didn't teach me anything, though. We kept making more fires."

"I want to make another fire," Frank said finally. "I need to see something burn."

"What did you have in mind?" Gerard asked.

!

Gerard and Frank scoped out the area before they lit it. They'd gone inside the barn to double check that there were no animals in there, and decided that the closest house was a mile away atleast. They were pretty far out in the country, so they'd have plenty of time to run. Gerard had no idea how Frank had known about this place, but he didn't really care. Frank was right, he needed to see something- anything- burn.

They didn't even need gasoline to start the fire. There was a huge pile of hay in the center of the barn, dried out from years of abandonment. They lit several rags on fire, dropped them, and ran. The barn was blazing in minutes.

Something came over the both of them. Maybe it was adrenaline or maybe it was exhaustion, but they both ran around the barn hooting and hollering like cave men. Gerard did cartwheels through the grass that was wet with dew from the night. Frank caught branches on fire like torches and ran around with them before throwing them back in the barn.

When the fire broke through the roof they both cheered with excitement. It was like they were children again, high off life.

"This is awesome!" Frank yelled, his smile wide on his face. Gerard couldn't help but smile back at him, equally as wide. It was just so perfect. Everything was falling apart and it was all fucking perfect. They were standing face to face smiling like idiots when Gerard grabbed Frank and kissed him. Right on the mouth, a bit aggressively but also very passionately. He held onto the back of Frank's head with his hands and was surprised when Frank kissed him back. He ran his dirty hands through Frank's dark hair and Frank settled his hands on Gerard's lower back, pulling him closer. Finally they broke apart, and Gerard could see the wild sparks in his friend's eyes.

Frank ran, circling the barn one more time and giving a final "Whoop!" He returned to Gerard's side. "We should get out of here," he said. "Before the cops show up."

"You're right," Gerard said. He couldn't stop himself from smiling, even as the disappointment of leaving their creation crept in. They both walked over to the car and plopped inside. Gerard turned the key and let the engine rev to life. He pulled out onto the road and drove as fast as he could. It was the most fun he'd had in a while.

"Hey, Grandma?" Gerard said, back on the high way, talking on his cellphone.

"Gerard, it is ten o clock at night, what do you want?" Elena said from her end of the line, irritation in her voice.

"If anyone asks, could you say me and Frank have been with you all day?" Gerard asked. "We kinda need an alibi."

"Gerard Arthur Way! Who did you murder and where did you hide the body?" Elena asked.

"No, we didn't kill anybody. I just kinda borrowed my parent's car, and Frank and I were in New York," Gerard explained.

"Gerard, what am I going to do with you?" Elena asked.

"Lie for me," Gerard said, sounding guilty like a little boy who'd opened his Christmas presents early and found decorative socks.

He heard Elena sigh. "Your father'll kill you if he finds out," Elena said. Gerard smiled, taking that as a yes.

"Yeah, I know," Gerard said.

"Then I guess we won't be telling him," Elena said.

"Thank you so much, Grandma!" Gerard thanked his grandmother over the phone. "You're the best." If she had been there he would have hugged her.

"I know I am. Now you'd better get both of you home and get your asses home!" Elena scolded.

"Of course," Gerard said. "Have a goodnight. I love you,"

"I'll have a shitty night if I want to, Gerard, it's my fucking night. I love you too baby." The two hung up and Gerard looked over at Frank happily.

"If anyone asks, we were at my grandma Elena's all evening," Gerard told Frank, who smiled in return.

"She'll back it up?" Frank asked.

"My grandma's the best," Gerard said. "I've been meaning to tell you, I have money for the band now."

"How much?" Frank asked.

"Five hundred," Gerard said. Frank smiled.

"Now all we need is a bass guitarist and a drummer, then we're all set," Franky said.

"Toro says he knows a drummer. You know Bob?" Gerard asked.

"Beard Bob?" Frank asked.

"Yeah, beard Bob," Gerard smiled.

"I wish I could grow a beard," Frank said with a satisfied sigh. Maybe things weren't ALL bad after all.


	10. Chapter 10

"GERARD ARTHUR WAY!" Mr. Way's voice bellowed as Gerard gently closed the door behind him. He gulped, ready to jump into a hurricane. He had his alibi, there was no way his father would know about the fire. Only Frank knew about the fire. And the kiss, no one would ever know about the kiss.

"Where the hell have you been young man!?" his father demanded, walking into the hallway and facing Gerard. Gerard pulled off his shoes and hung the keys up on the rack, trying to act natural.

"I was at Grandma Elena's," Gerard said, hoping it wasn't obvious he was lying.

"Oh really?" his father asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Gerard saw Mikey's head poke down from up stairs. Mikey looked scared and younger than he was. Mikey hated confrontation like this.

"Dad?" Mikey said with a small voice.

His mother, who came in to stand behind Mr. Way, responded. "Go to bed, sweetie." Mikey didn't move.

"Yeah, me and Frank paid her a visit. You can ask her if you want," Gerard picked up the house phone off the hall table and offered it to his father, showing he was serious. His father ignored it, scowling down at his son.

"And why weren't you answering your phone?" Mr. Way asked.

"I forgot it," Gerard lied, incredibly aware of the cell phone in his back pocket and the fact that it wasn't silenced. One call and he'd be dead. "It's upstairs, in my room."

"You could have called from the nursing home, or with Frank's phone," his mother said.

"I didn't think it was necessary," Gerard shrugged.

"You didn't think it was necessary!?" Mr. Way snapped.

"That's what I just said," Gerard rolled his eyes.

"So you took the car, without permission, and disappeared all night without telling anyone where you were," Mr. Way started. "Just to waltz into the house at eleven o' clock and have me believe you were at your grandmother's this whole time!?"

"Okay, not the whole time," Gerard sighed, formulating a more intracite lie. "Frank called me first and asked me to come get him from his fathers. After that we decided to go to Grandma Elena's. I don't see what the big deal is!"

"The big deal, young man-" Mr. Way scolded. Gerard rolled his eyes. "-Is that nobody knew where you were or what you were doing."

"It's not like I'm a little kid, Dad!" Gerard demanded angrily.

"Not to mention, you're not even supposed to be driving at night yet since that accident last month," Mr. Way added.

"The accident wasn't my fault," Gerard said.

"Sure it wasn't. NOTHING is ever your fault, Gerard," Mr. Way snapped.

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Gerard demanded.

"Tell me the truth, right now. No more games, where the hell have you been?" Mr. Way asked.

"I told you the truth, I was at Grandma Elena's. You should believe your SON," Gerard spat.

"Then give me a reason to, Gerard."

"I'm telling the truth!" Gerard lied.

"We'll see," Mr. Way said. He walked out of the room and into the kitchen, leaving Gerard there with his ghosts and his mother. Neither of them talked or looked at each other. He looked up at Mikey, who looked petrified. He felt bad for scaring his little brother and shot him a comforting grin.

Gerard heard his father cuss from the other room, and that was soon followed by angry foot steps. His father appeared in front of him.

"I can't get through the nursing home this late," Mr. Way explained. "We'll talk more in the morning. For now, you're grounded."

"What!? You can't ground me, I'm not an eight year old!" Gerard demanded angrily.

"If you want to be punished like an eight year old, then it can be arranged," Mr. Way snapped back. Gerard blushed slightly, only becoming angrier. _How dare he?_

Taking that as a 'no,' Mr. Way continued. "You're grounded for two weeks. Hand over your license."

Gerard pulled his license out of his wallet and threw it at his old man, then ran up the stairs. He charged past Mikey and into his room, slamming the door as hard as he could and locking it.

He paced through his room, lit only by the desk lamp on his desk, muttering things about his father that would have gotten him grounded til he was thirty. He took his phone out of his pocket and threw it at his bed as hard as he could. He watched it bounce, then hit the floor with a "thunk." Gerard glared down at it, livid with anger. It suddenly buzzed and broke Gerard out of his spell. He walked over, picking it up off the floor and falling back to lay on his bed.

There was a new message from Frank. Gerard opened it, curious.

From: Frank

11:02 p.m. 8/29/12

(Re:) Thnx 4 a magical nite, GMan. U rly savd me tonite :)

Gerard re-read the message five times before closing his phone and then closing his eyes. He rested the phone on his chest and sighed.

He'd kissed Frank. He and Frank had kissed. They'd made a fire. They'd kissed by the fire.

_This night really was magical,_ Gerard thought with a smile.

His phone buzzed again, and this time it was Mikey.

From: Mikey

11:06 p.m. 8/29/12

R u ok?

"Yea, im ok," Gerard texted back. He added a smiley face for extra meaning, even though it was stupid and pointless he knew Mikey would like it. Mikey was like that.

Gerard fell asleep on top of the covers, fully clothed and filthy, and smiling.

!

_Holy fuck, I kissed Gerard,_ Frank thought as he woke up. He was stiff and sore all over. He wondered why his fingers were throbbing before he realized they were burnt and covered in splinters.

He made himself sit up, exhausted as he was. It was Sunday, but Frank didn't go to church anymore so he had no reason to get up.

His legs ached as he walked and it felt like his feet were bleeding. Frank couldn't tell though since he'd fallen asleep with one shoe on. Where was his other shoe?

He went into the bathroom and splashed water on his face. He was filthy, absolutely filthy. His hair felt thick and gross. He couldn't stand it, he HAD to shower.

He started the shower and stripped out of his clothes, leaving a pile on the bathroom floor. Waiting for the water to warm up, he examined himself in the mirror. He flexed his arms, just for fun, and imagined he had more muscle than he did. Finally he jumped in the shower and scrubbed himself shiny. He hated feeling dirty. Hated it!

When he got out he wrapped one towel around his waste and another around his head. He walked back into his room and searched in a drawer for some boxer shorts. Suddenly his phone went off.

Frank walked over and picked it up off his bed. The battery flashed empty, but it had enough juice to ring. The name on the caller id read: Jamia. Frank answered it, smiling.

"Hey, Jamia," Frank said.

"Hey, what's up?" Jamia chimed.

_Oh, just standing in the middle of my room naked,_Frank thought. "Nothing much, how bout you?" Frank asked.

"Could I come over?" Jamia asked. Frank's towel fell down from his waste and he scrambled to pull it back up, as if Jamia were actually in the room with him.

"Err, a, sure. Okay! That'd be great," he said, smiling and struggling with his towel.

"Awesome!" she cheered. "I'll be there in about twenty minutes, okay?"

_Twenty minutes. Shit._ Frank had a lot to do in twenty minutes.

"Yeah, that's great. See you then," he said.

"See ya," she hung up the phone. Frank stood there for a second staring at the wall, his phone in one hand and his towel being held up in the other. Finally he dropped both and hurried to get dressed. He tripped himself trying to pull on his jeans and fell on his butt. He jumped back up and tugged on a clean- or at least he hoped it was clean- t-shirt. He ran to the bathroom and combed through his hair. It was getting pretty long, he'd have to cut it soon.

"Frank," his mother said from the bathroom door way. Frank jumped out of his skin.

"Mom!" Frank complained. "Would you knock, please?"

His mother knocked sarcastically on the already open door. "You sure are making a lot of noise," she said.

"Jamia's coming over," Frank said, buzzing out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. He poured himself a cup of coffee.

"I didn't know you drank coffee now," his mother said.

"Gerard got me into it," Frank said, taking a sip and burning his mouth. He ran back to his room and his mother followed him.

"How'd it go with your father?" she asked him. Frank rolled his eyes_. What was this? Interview Frank day?_

"It went fine," he said, shaking his wet hair as he kicked a box of comic books under his bed. He picked some laundry off of the floor and took it to the laundry room.

"You're sure?" she asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, of course," Frank lied. He wished his mother would just leave him alone.

"Frank, your father called me last night," his mother stated. Frank choked on his coffee and struggled to swallow it.

"He did?" he asked, coughing.

"He said you two got in a fight last night," she told him. Frank busied himself, taking stacks of books from the floor to his desk, straightening his bed.

"Yeah, kinda," Frank said. He sat down on the edge of his bed and flipped through a stack of cd's. "He'd getting married, and moving to Trenton."

Franks mother hurried across the room and sat down on the bed next to Frank, putting a loving arm around his shoulders.

"He wants me to go with them," Frank told his mother. "I told him I wouldn't do it."

"Baby, I know things have been hard on you. I'm sorry about all of this," his mom told him, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"It's not your fault, Mom," Frank said, setting his hand on her knee. He was going to say something else. He knew this news would be as hard on his mother as it was on him. She had really loved his father.

A knock on the door interrupted him though.

"Shit, that's Jamia," Frank said, jumping up from his bed.

"Well go let her in, then," his mother told him, smiling as she stood up from his bed. "Fix your hair first," she ran her fingers through her son's hair and straightened it up a bit. "There you go."

"Thanks Mom," Frank said, then rushed out of his room and into the living room, to the front door.


	11. Chapter 11

"Hey Jamia- oh... Hey Toro," Frank was surprised to see his friend Toro on the other side of the door instead of Jamia. "Err, come on in," he opened the door wider to let Ray pass.

Ray stepped inside.

"What are you doing here?" Frank asked, not trying to be rude- just curious.

"Don't tell me you forgot," Ray said with a sigh as he put his backpack on the kitchen table.

"Of course not," Frank lied.

"Our English project?" Ray reminded. "It's due tomorrow,"

"Oh shit..."

"Mhm..." Toro rolled his eyes and opened up his notebook. "Might as well get started then since I'm betting you forgot to do your research too,"

Frank chuckled nervously. "Sorry,"

"So I was thinking we could-" Toro was interrupted by a knocking on the front door. He sighed heavily. "Go get it.

Frank hurried to the door and opened it. "Hey Jamia," he said with a cute smile. She immediately wrapped her arms around Frank's neck and kissed him passionately on the mouth. Before Frank could even start to participate, she broke away and bounced into the kitchen.

"OOOh, get some, Franky!" Toro teased.

"Shut up, Ray," Frank responded. At the back of his mind a thought teased him. _ I kissed Gerard last night, and now I'm kissing Jamia._

"So," Ray interrupted his thoughts. "What do we know about Julius Ceaser?"

!

"Gerard," Mr. Way stopped Gerard on his way to the bathroom. "We need to talk," his eyes looked kind, soft, concerned, instead of the usual angry, disturbed, and disappointed look they normaly had. Gerard was still pissed off from the night before where his father was concerned.

"Can I pee first?" Gerard snapped. The disappointed look was back.

"I don't understand your attitude, Gerard. You act like it's you against the world, all the time," his father sighed.

"I'm seriously about to piss myself," Gerard insisted. His father threw his hands up.

"Fine! Go! Meet me in the kitchen," Mr. Way stormed off and Gerard walked into the bathroom. He sat on the edge of the bathtub and dropped his head into his hands.

Gerard left the bathroom, taking his jolly good time, five minutes later and walked into the kitchen. His mother, father, and Mikey were already sitting around the table. The little white board attached to the refridgerator read "Family Meeting."

_Heaven help me_, Gerard thought taking his seat.

No one spoke for a moment and Gerard leaned back in his chair, relaxed. He soaked in the awkard silence and breathed it like oxygen. Then of course someone had to break it by talking.

"Boys," Mrs. Way started. "You know you can tell us anything, right?"

"Yea..." Mikey replied suspiciously. Gerard didn't speak.

"We just want you to know that your father and I are here, to listen if you need us too, without judgement or anything," she said. _Bull shit._ "You can tell us anything." The way she said 'anything' unnerved Gerard. What was she getting at?

"We just want you to know, that whatever choices you make in life, we're here as your parents to support you," she went on.

Mrs. Way spoke while Mikey stared at her with studying eyes. Mikey and his mother were so much alike that it made Gerard sick sometimes. What he failed to recognize was the fact of how similar he was to his father. Gerard's mother and brother were both very social and out going, where as Gerard and his father were less so.

"I've done some reading..." Mrs. Way started. _Oh here we go_, thought Gerard. Whenever his mother got her hands on a parenting book it always ended badly. "and it is completely normal for boys your age to, feel differently."

"Huh?" Gerard asked.

"Your hormones can be pretty intense during these years, and sometimes boys start having some unnatural thoughts..." Mrs. Way said. "Michael, honey. Do you like girls?"

Mikey blushed slightly, the tips of his ears turning bright red.

"Well, duh!" he said. _Wait... _Gerard thought. _ I thought this meeting was gonna be about my attitude problem?_

"What your mother is trying to say, Michael, is that if you feel you like boys more than girls, as disturbing as it might be, we'll accept you the way you are," Mr. Way added in. Mr. Way had a gentle way of talking to Mikey that he never accomplished with Gerard. Gerard knew it was his own fault, since he never let him.

"Wait," Gerard said. "You guys think Mikey's gay?" _Oh God..._

"I'm not homosexual," Mikey said, his face still shocked.

"There's no reason to be ashamed," Mrs. Way said, setting a comforting hand on her son's.

_Holy crap,_ Gerard thought. _They think MIKEY'S gay... but I'm the one who kissed Frank. Mikey's never done anything like that! Why would they think Mikey's gay? Sure, he has that unicorn obsession, but still!_

"You guys don't even know what you're talking about," Gerard snapped.

"We understand that you feel you need to protect your brother, Gerard, but there's nothing wrong with homosexuality," Mrs. Way said.

"I'm not trying to protect him, I know for a fact. Mikey's as straight as a telephone pole," Gerard exclaimed.

"Guys, I'm not gay, I swear," Mikey insisted.

"If you ever need to talk..." Mrs. Way started.

"I don't," Mikey stood up from the table, pushing away from it with the palms of his hands. His father slid some pamphlets across the table at him.

"Take a look at these, Michael," Mr. Way said. Mikey shook his head in disbelief as he rushed from the table. He climbed the stairs noisily and Gerard heard him lock his door. Normally Gerard was the one to run like that.

"Well, that went well," Gerard rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair.

"Your sarcasm is not appreciated, Gerard," Mr. Way stated. Gerard noted how his father's voice had changed from the way he'd talked to Mikey. He'd been so kind, so understanding. Now he was back to disapproving and cold.

"Why do you hate me?" Gerard asked plainly, looking directly at his father.

"Oh, sweetie!" his mother cried. "We don't hate you, baby! We love you so much!"

"Dad?" Gerard asked, ignoring his mother.

"You're an idiot if you think I hate you," his father said. _So now he's insulting me... great parenting skills, Dad._

"I'm an idiot then," Gerard stated.

"No, you're-"

"That's what you just said!" Gerard interrupted. "Face it, you love Mikey more than me,"

"That's not true," Mrs. Way said. "We love both of you the same!"

"You're willing to accept my brother's homosexuality, but you can't accept me," Gerard said, heartbroken and baffled.

"I don't understand you, Gerard," his father's voice boomed. "I don't understand why you're so angry."

"You should know, if you'd been listening. Everyone hates me," Gerard said. "You can just check my record."

"Your record is spotted with gang violence and petty crimes," his father snapped.

"Gang violence? I'm not even in a gang! I'm a loner! All of that was self-defense and retaliation, something Grandma Elena taught me!" Gerard demanded.

"You're grandmother isn't right in the head," his father said.

"No! How dare you say anything bad about her!? You're the messed up one in this family. You're a narsastic ass hole who blames all of their problems on everyone else," Gerard said.

"Don't you even go there, young man!" Mr. Way yelled. "All I ever hear from you is about how horrible your life is and how you hate everyone..."

"You said I could talk to you guys!" Gerard yelled. "School is a living hell! I'm tormented daily, but when I tell you about it, I'm just being a whiny bitch! Well, fine, I see how it is," Gerard said. "You only have enough patience for one of your sons. Fuck you!"

"Gerard Arthur Way!"

"Gerard, is that really how you're feeling honey?" his mother asked, concerned.

"You don't care, I'm not even going to waste my breath," Gerard said. He stood up from the table angrily. "Meeting adjourned. Leave me the hell alone."

Mr. and Mrs. Way didn't even try to stop Gerard from storming from the table. They just let him go. He ran up the stairs and made himself take several deep breaths. _Calm down, calm down._ He gently rapped on his brother's bedroom door. This was met with silence.

"Come on, Mikey," Gerard said, trying to take the bite out of his voice. He knocked again gently. Still silence. Gerard tried the nob and was surprised when he found it locked. Mikey never, ever locked his door. When he was little he used to have nightmares where he was trying to run from a ginormous spider. He'd come to a door and find it locked. He was never fast enough to unlock it and the spider would catch him. Mikey was absolutely terrified of spiders. He'd always wake up screaming.

"Mikey, lemme in," Gerard said gently.

"Go away," Mikey's voice was soft and sad sounding.

"I'll just pick the lock if you won't let me in," Gerard said. He heard Mikey huff a sigh and shuffle over. The lock clicked but Gerard waited until he heard Mikey shuffle away before opening the door.

Gerard found his brother sitting on his bed with his hands folded in his lap He stared stone faced at the floor.

The room expressed Mikey's rage. Books had been kicked and clothes thrown haphazardly. Stuffing was thrown all around the room like clumps of snow. On the bed next to Mikey sat a deflated unicorn skin with its head ripped off. It was the unicorn toy Mikey had owned since he was two years old. Grandma Elena gave it to him, and he loved the stupid thing.

Gerard didn't bother asking about it. He simply walked around the room picking up stuffing in silence. When he was sure he'd gotten it all he walked over to Mikey's bed and sat down next to his baby brother.

"What's wrong with me?" Mikey asked.

"There's nothing wrong with you," Gerard reassured.

"First the kids at school, now Mom and Dad…" Mikey sighed. "I always thought they were on our side,"

"They think they are, that's the sad thing. They'll never get it," Gerard said.

"Do I look gay to you?" Mikey asked.

"Definitely not," Gerard said. _What does gay look like? I always thought gay was preppy and Holister, but what about me? _

"I just don't get it," Mikey sighed, shaking his head.

"It's not about the bullies, Mikey. It's not about the bullies or the adults or the stereotypes or anyone who ever tells you that you're wrong. Because in the end none of that matters. It's the kid in the back that ends up doing something significant," Gerard says. Mikey absorbs this in silence.

"What happened to Fluffy?" Gerard asked, referring to the unicorn.

Mikey shrugged. "I was going to cut something else," he said. "But I couldn't do it, so I cut off his head."

"It's probably a better choice. Easier to fix," Gerard said.

"Skin heals," Mikey shrugged.

"But unicorns heal faster, with magic," Gerard said, nudging his kid brother with his elbow.

"Shut up, Gee," Mikey chuckled. "You're such a dork."

"_Why did you do this to me, Mikey?"_ Gerard faked a high pitched voice and waved the unicorn head in front of Mikey's face. Mikey batted it away, giggling.

Gerard laughed in return, happy to see his brother's smile again. "Don't worry about anything, kiddo," Gerard said to Mikey, wrapping a protective arm around his brother's shoulders. "It doesn't matter anyways."


	12. Chapter 12

Gerard, Mikey, and Ray sat in the cafeteria that day for lunch. Of course their table was the one over by the garbage cans, but it didn't bother them very much. At least they were out of the way, hiding out in the shadows.

Gerard and Ray were talking about the band, when their first practice would be, who their new drummer was, and where on Earth were they going to find a bass guitarist. Frank could play bass if they needed him to, but neither Gerard or Ray really wanted him to do that. His talent was in rhythm and Ray intended to keep him there. Ray himself could play whatever instrument need be, but Gerard had told him he HAD to play lead guitar in the band because he was the best guitarist on the face of the Earth. Gerard could be a bit dramatic at times. Gerard couldn't play bass though, he was hopeless with a guitar. Ray was too nice to tell him that openly though, it was just an understood fact.

Mikey wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to either of them. He was attempting, with great perseverance and concentration, to lick frosting off the end of his nose. He'd forgotten a fork, and it was too dangerous to venture all the way aross the cafeteria to get one. But Mikey by no means was willing to give up his cake! So he took to eating it like one might eat a sandwhich.

Ray chuckled at his young friend. Mikey could be such a dork.

"Hey guys," Mikey interrupted, showing that maybe he was paying some attention after all. "I was wondering what's your band about anyways?"

Gerard and Frank exchanged a glance. They hadn't really discussed this.

"I guess we're gonna be like a punk band," Gerard said slowly, as if asking Ray's okay with the same time.

"Yeah, someone who'll stand out, and make a difference," Ray added in the same way. Both boys seemed pleased with each other's answers.

"What's your name?" Mikey asked, again failing at removing the frosting with his tongue, which just wasn't long enough. He needed a longer tongue Goddammnit!

"Uhh, we haven't figured that out yet," Gerard said. Mikey nodded, turning all his attention back to his cake.

"Hey look, there's Bob," Toro pointed across the cafeteria to a blonde boy in a tight black t-shirt.

"Cool," Gerard said, eying the drum sticks in the boy's back pocket. Bob wore headphones over his ears. His T-shirt was for Smashing Pumpkins. He seemed legit enough.

"I wish I could grow a beard like that," Ray sighed.

"You always want what you can't have," Gerard sighed dreamily, fantasizing about the beard, and *ahem* something[or someone] else.

"So you're saying you want an afro?" Ray asked.

"Huh?"

"There's no way you could pull off an afro," Toro informed.

"You can keep your fucking afro, Toro," Gerard said. "I just want a beard."

"Cake beard!" Mikey exclaimed. Sure enough, he'd managed to get himself a cake beard and a cake nose.

"Mikey..." Gerard started to say something, then stopped himself and started laughing at his unspoken joke. Ray pelted Mikey with balled up napkins, which Mikey used to clean up his face. He seemed a bit unhappy about it though.

"Are you guys done?" Gerard asked, standing up with his lunch tray. The other boys nodded and followed suit.

"Fork the cause," Toro reminded as they walked to dump their trays.

Mikey frowned, "I don't have a fork to throw away today," he sighed.

"First the utensils," Gerard declared dramatically. "Then their heads! Bwahaha!"

A shove from behind sent Gerard sprawling forward, face first into the cake Mikey held in his hands. Frosting decorated both Gerard's face and Mikey's shirtfront. His hands were soiled with his beloved cake. Wiping frosting from his eyes, Gerard spun around angrily while Mikey stared in astonishment.

"What the fuck!?" Gerard yelled at the person behind him, who just so happened to be a girl. She was a few inches taller than Gerard with the help of heeled combat boots. She wore ripped grey skinny jeans and a black t shirt under a black hoodie. Her hair, died black, was straight and long. On her face she wore lots of eyeliner, purple lipstick, and a smug smile.

"Oopsie," she said with a shrug.

"What the hell was that for!?" Gerard demanded, still trying to remove cake from his line of vision.

"It was an accident. I'm sorry," she spat at him, as if it was his fault he'd just kissed Mikey's cake. Gerard had seen the girl before, had one class with her. He couldn't exactly remember her name. Lizzie? Something like that.

"Yeah right, that's bull," Gerard hissed. He turned on heel and stalked back to the front of the cafeteria for more napkins, ignorant of the eyes watching him.

"What was with her?" Gerard said, walking out of the cafeteria with Mikey and Ray.

"Maybe it really was an accident," Mikey suggested, trying without success to clean the stain off the front of his uniform shirt. It just kept getting worse, Mikey sighed, not wanting another dress code demerit.

"Yeah, she just accidently used both hands to shove me forward into your pastry, I doubt it," Gerard snapped. When he had his back turned, Mikey flipped him off. The two never faught, but irritation came naturally with any brothers.

"Hey guys," Ray said suddenly. "Have you seen Frank anywhere?"

The three boys stopped suddenly and looked around. Where was Frank anyways?

!

Those mother fuckers. Those mother fucking mother fuckers trapped him in this mother fucking locker. It was a girl's, from the smell of it, and Frank feared that the scent of perfume would haunt him for the rest of the day. Icing on the cake. He did not need this crap.

He'd long given up calling for help or banging on the door. Nobody was gonna let him out, it was lunch break and they wouldn't return to their lockers til fifth hour. So Frank was trapped. He couldn't break out either. You couldn't unlock a locker from the inside, because whatever idiot designed them hadn't taken kids like Frank into mind. With how tight it was there was no hope in the idea of busting down the door. Trapped.

A purse hung on a hook directly in front of him, so close that his stomach grazed it when he breathed. If Frank manuvered carefully he could reach his hand inside. Creepy as it was to explore a random girl's purse, Frank was bored to tears. Maybe she'd have a game or something.

Frank shifted through things like compacts and make up brushes without interest. He found a case of birth control pills and laughed at them. He pushed aside tampons, not giving any interest since he'd seen the things in his mother's bathroom before. Living alone with your mom had it's ups and it's downs.

What Frank found next sparked an interest though. He gently pulled out a thin box and looked it over. It was hard to make out in the dark, but the light coming through the locker grates allowed him to read the word "pregnancy."

A pregnancy test? Oh this was rich! Frank carefully opened the box and pulled out the small stick. Reaching in his pocket for the blue pen he kept there, he wriggled his arm back up and enscribed a small blue plus sign in the message box. He smirked at this, then shoved the box, wrapper, and stick back into her purse haphazardly. With any luck she'd find it and by totally confused as to why it read positive. She might freak out and think she'd forgotten taking it and was pregnant. Or she'd simply have to spend ten bucks on a new one. Either way, Frank was pleased.

The bell rang and rattled Frank's ears through the metal locker. FREEDOM! ATLAST! He could have giggled with relief. He really had to use the bathroom!

He waited patiently, careful not to lean against the door to avoid falling out when it opened. He suddenly heard voices right outside the locker, female voices.

When the door flung open Frank popped out suddenly.

"SUPRISE!" he yelled at the girl at the top of his lungs, who screamed in shock and ran off. Smirking to himself and ignoring the frightened stairs of people around him, Frank stepped out of the locker and walked down the hall, hands in his pockets relaxed. Two hours til band practice. Two hours til freedom.


	13. Chapter 13

The basement had that cold, damp feeling unfinished basements usually have. In one corner sat piled hundreds of comic books. They sat in boxes and stacks covered in enough dust to choke a dozen people. Pushed to one side of the basement was a ratty old couch that served as a bed for anyone who needed a place to crash. Game systems and wires intertwined with the old television against an unpainted wall perpendicular to the couch.

A rug was rolled out on the ground, but it somehow made the whole place look even more ghetto. The nicest thing in the room was the drum set, which sparkled in chrome and plastic, shoved into a corner. It showed little wear, unlike Frank's guitar. Frank wasn't a drummer like his father had been, but Frank loved his six string.

Gerard stood fiddling with a microphone near the stairs. Ray played with his guitar, showing affection that he didn't show to much else. The guitar was his first love, and he figured if he'd ever been good with girls he'd suck at guitar. Having a sparse social life had it's advantages.

A knock came to the door upstairs. "I'll get it," Frank said, taking the stairs by twos. He came back a minute later with Bob.

"Here it is," he said, talking about the drum set.

Bob looked it over, excitement showing on his face.

"This is beautiful," he said, near whisper. He loved drums more than anything else. As long as he could play he was happy.

"You're welcome to use them whenever," Frank said with a shrug, walking back over to his guitar.

"Okay," Gerard said. "So how do we start this thing?"

"You have any songs in mind?" Toro asked him. Gerard flipped through his notebook absent mindedly, trying to find one that he could share.

Gerard was a bit anxious about sharing the one he wanted to. He didn't know how well the guys would take to it. Would they just laugh at him? He took a breath.

"I have this one idea," Gerard started. He handed the notebook to Toro, and Frank read over his shoulder.

"I like it," Ray said after reading it over.

"It's kinda like a 'fuck you,' thing," Frank said. "It's rebellious. What were you thinking on melody?" Frank handed it to Bob, who grinned looking it over.

"Sing a part for us," Ray said. Gerard blushed slightly, but then thought about what part would be best.

"Well, when I was writing it, the beginning started out kinda like..." Gerard sang the beginning of the song.

"I know a thing about contrition, cause I got enough to spare, and I'll be granting your permission cause I haven't got a prayer," Gerard sang out, his hand moving at his side to keep beat with him. Frank couldn't help but watch in fascination. What was it about Gerard that fascinated him so damn much? Something about the kid MADE Frank stare at him. Every movement was imperfect and natural, and Frank was left hypnotized. It was hard for Frank to explain, but Gerard was just captivating. Like someone else he knew... someone else who was plucking at his heart strings.

"You guys are going to think I'm insane," Ray said, leaning back agianst a plaster wall. "But I'm imagining a voodoo theme for this one."

"Voodoo?" Frank asked, grinning with curiosity.

"Just listen to the lyrics, it sounds like it's talking about hell, fallen angels, stuff like that," Ray explained. "What's closer sounding to hell than voodoo?" Ray picked up his guitar and played out what he was thinking.

"We'd have to find a way to harmonize it," Frank said, picking up his own guitar. The two boys had long ago learned how different their playing styles were. Frank was influenced by the punk scene, where Ray had been raised on music like Jimmy Hendrix and Metallica. They shared some influences but others were polar opposites, they loved listening to each other play.

Ray strummed at his guitar before breaking out into full guitar riffs. He played for a while before Frank found a way to jump in and mix. It sounded pretty sick, in a good kinda way, what the boys were doing with their strings. Bob listened to them playing and pulled the drum sticks out of his back pocket. He sat himself down at the set and added in the percussion.

Gerard couldn't help smiling at them. They'd gotten it, they'd totally got it. He finished hooking up his microphone and listened to the music around him waiting for the perfect moment. Then he jumped in.

"Dude we need a bass," Frank said after they'd finished the song. It was no where near perfect, but they had to admit that they sounded pretty damn good for a baby band. One thing missing, a key aspect. They needed a bass!

"I know a guy that could do it," Bob offered.

"Call him up!"

Gerard and Frank passed time laying on the basement floor flipping through the notebook. Frank took the back page to scribble down notes about songs and the instruments. They lay on their stomachs on the cold cement, and Gerard was painfully aware of Frank's hip and shoulder pressed against his own. It was silly, when they were younger Gerard wouldn't have even noticed. Ray kept playing with his guitar the whole time, Bob guessing the song as Ray played it.

It took about twenty minutes for Alex to get there.

Bob and Alex were close friends through family. Ray and Alex had hung out before a few times as well, so he wasn't a total stranger.

Once introductions were over and the goofing off came to a pause they practiced for two whole hours. Finally they were forced to depart though, since 'grounded' Gerard had to be home before his parents, and Ray couldn't be late for dinner without his mother having a panic attack. They bid each other goodbye and Gerard trudged back across the street to his own home.

"MIKEY!" he called walking through the door. "I'M HOME!"

"In the kitchen!" Mikey called back. Gerard dropped his bag in the hall and walked into the kitchen.

"Mikeywhatthehellareyoudoing!?" he exclaimed as soon as he saw his kid brother sticking a fork into the toaster. He rushed over and snatched the fork away.

"The toast is stuck," Mikey explained, trying to get the fork back. "I'm fucking hungry!"

Gerard smacked him upside the head, moving the beanie to cover his eyes. Mikey pushed it back up sloppily. "You're going to get yourself fucking fried you moron," Gerard scolded. "You can't just go sticking forks in toasters!"

What had really been an innocent attempt at toast had looked more like a foolish attempt at suicide that had left Gerard frazzled.

"I can't get it out," Mikey complained. "It'll catch fire if it's in there too long,"

"Use the lever thing, Mikey," Gerard rolled his eyes.

"It's broken!"

"Again?"

"If you're so smart, G, then YOU get the toast out," Mikey said, pushing Gerard gently toward the toaster. Gerard fought with the lever thingy only to find out that Mikey was correct, it was broken again. He carefully tried reaching inside the toaster to pinch the toast out.

"OW! You mother-" Gerard stuck his burnt fingers into his mouth to cool them, which muffled his cursing.

"Mhm," Mikey said.

Finally the boys resorted to shaking the toaster upside down over a plate until the toast fell out. By then it was black and icky, leaving burnt crumbs all over the counter top and floor.

"Yum," Mikey sighed sarcastically.

"Don't stick any more damn forks in the toaster," Gerard said before retreating up the stairs to his room.

The band, though still unnamed, had four more after school practices before they started to know what they were doing. They got that first song down pretty descent and were happy with it, so they started working on others. By the end of two weeks they had four songs.

Through the whole two weeks Gerard visited his grandmother almost everyday. He talked to her about school some, but mostly about the band. She listened carefully as he talked and asked questions. She also reviewed every song Gerard had in his notebook, helped with lyrics, gave ideas. The two were like artistic partners.

"We've got a gig coming up," Gerard said grinning at his grandmother.

"A gig you say?" she asked.

"It's a youth retreat thing," Gerard said. "Kinda like a talent show, it's open to the public."

"What are you going to play?" Elena asked.

"We aren't sure yet," Gerard said. "We have those four that we're really good with..."

"Well, you'd best decide pretty damn fast," Elena said.

"Yeah, I know,"

"Whatever you decide to play, you're going to be marvelous. You know what I always say Gerard," Elena said, winking at her grandson. "Give em hell, kid,"


	14. Chapter 14

"This isn't good,"

"How could you not know?"

"I don't know, Alex never told me..."

"He didn't tell you that we would be playing in a freaking church!?"

"We can't play in there, they'll start an excorcism!"

"Wait, what's going on?" Frank asked, walking up to the group who was gathered around the minivan Ray had borrowed from his parents.

"We can't go to the gig," Bob complained.

"What? Why?" Frank asked.

"It's a religious youth concert," Ray said, scratching the back of his head. "Genius Alex forgot to mention that little detail."

"What church?" Frank asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"St. Peters," Bob said.

"Holy shit," Frank said, his smile wide as he nearly burst out laughing. "Let's do it!"

"What?" Bob asked.

"That's my old school, St. Peters. We HAVE to do this, scare the crap out of those fuckers," Frank explained, still holding a bitter resentment against his elementary school who had shoved the word of God down his throat for six years.

Frank looked to Gerard, knowing his best friend would have his back on this, since he used to belong to the same church. Gerard shrugged. "We're going to hell anyways," he said.

Frank smiled wide, laughing outloud.

"What song can we play?" Ray asked. "They aren't gonna start beating us or anything are they? I've heard about those nuns..."

"I wouldn't put it past them," Frank sighed.

"House of Wolves," Gerard said suddenly.

"Huh? Why that one?" Bob asked. "It's like blasphamey."

"Yes, but it will take them a moment to realize it," Gerard said. "There's a lot of religious talk in the lyrics, I think we can pull it off,"

"Why are we doing this again?" Ray asked.

"Revenge against those ass holes," Frank said. He'd had a hard time in elementary school.

"AND for publicity," Gerard added. "If we want to get good we'd better get ourselves out there,"

"Isn't this stunt a bit much for a first gig?" Bob asked.

"We're a teenage punk band in New Jersey," Gerard said. "THIS kind of stunt is perfect,"

!

Finally the whole band agreed to pull the stunt and play House Of Wolves for Frank's old school. Gerard felt giddy at the idea of crashing a Catholic Youth Concert.

Disaster struck, however, when Alex called and said he couldn't make it.

"What!?" Gerard demanded into the phone.

"Dude, my girlfriend has something planned, I can't just ditch her," Alex said.

"You've known about the gig for a week! You can't pull out now!"

"Yes I can. Stop being a dick! I'm out, okay? Deal with it!" Alex snapped, hanging up his phone. Gerard angrily pressed the end button of his own phone and threw it down on the couch.

"What's wrong?" Frank asked, looking up from the pizza he was devouring.

"Alex is out," Gerard growled.

"What?" Bob was shocked.

"He said he's out,has some thing with his girl friend. Now we have no bass and we're going to have to miss the gig," Gerard said.

"Shit," Ray clonked his head down on the table.

"This just sucks! How could he just-" Frank started.

"Sh!" Gerard said suddenly, placing a hand over his friends mouth and cocking his head like a puppy dog.

Frank knitted his eyebrows to the fact that he'd just been shushed. He pulled Gerard's hand off of his mouth.

"What are you?-"

"SH!" Gerard insisted again, this time hurrying from the room.

"Gerard, what are you doing?" Ray asked as the three boys followed their friend out of the room. Through the living room. Out the back door onto the small patio where they found Mikey.

Mikey said on the patio on the cold cement playing with Gerard's bass, the one Alex was going to play in the concert. He didn't seem to be knowing what he was doing, but he strummed it none the less. Frank thought he recognized the bass line of Eye Of The Tiger in there, but he wasn't really sure.

"Hey Mikey?" Gerard asked. Mikey jumped and stopped playing instantly. He stood, holding the guitar by the neck in his left hand.

"I'm sorry," Mikey said instantly. "I was just playing with it,"

"Careful, don't break it," Ray said, gently taking the guitar out of Mikey's hazardous grip and setting it down gently in it's case.

"Sorry," Mikey repeated, blushing.

"Hey Mikey," Frank said. "We need a bassist..."

"You wanna be in the band?" Gerard asked.

"Huh?" Mikey was surprised at this request.

"We're playing tonight at a gig, and our bassist ditched us," Bob said. "You in?"

"I don't know how to play," Mikey said hesitantly.

"You just were," Ray said.

"But I don't know your guys's songs," he said, smiling slightly though at the thought of being in a band, especially with his brother and his friends.

"Then we'd better get to work, huh?" Gerard said with a smile. Mikey's smile grew wider as the older boys dragged Mikey back into the house with the bass.


	15. Chapter 15

_ God, I am so FREAKING excited! _Frank couldn't sit still, even when he, Mikey, and Gerard were all crammed tight into the back of Bob's parent's car. In the front Ray drove with grave determination the same way he always did. He was very careful with driving, Frank knew, for fear or a car crash.

Ray was not going fast enough. They needed to get there! Frank was bouncing in his freaking seat. Next to him Gerard sat twitchily staring out the window and muttering to himself things that were uncomprehensible. Stage fright, Frank knew, was killer. Gerard was obviously victim of this. Frank did notice;however, that Gerard was continually pushing his hip into Frank's. Maybe Frank was imagining things, but he didn't think so. Either way, he didn't mind.

On the other side of Frank was Mikey who sat stone still. He was about the color of stone too, a bit of a grayish color. Despite the band's determination, Mikey could not be talked into securtity. The kid was a freaking natural on bass and all he could talk about was how he was going to mess up. Frank was ready to slap him.

Now Mikey sat frozen in his seat squished between Frank and the driver's side door. A guitar case sat on both his and Frank's lap, and another under Frank and Gerard's feet. In Mikey's hands sat an open book that Frank couldn't exactly read the title of. But Mikey was only pretending to read it. It looked like he couldn't focus very well. It also looked like he might throw up. _Not on me, please,_ Frank thought.

Up in the front seat Bob and Ray talked about their hopes for the night. Bob hoped the church's drum set wasn't too horribly pathetic. Ray hoped they didn't get arrested.

Finally at the church, everyone sort of fell out of the back seat. They had to unfold themselves awkwardly from their cramped position, handing the bass out to Ray before even attempting to climb out of the car. Gerard just became more twitchy at the sight of the church.

"G-guys..." Gerard said, and everyone turned to him. "I can't do this!"

"What?" Ray asked.

"I can't go up there, in front of those people. I'm gonna mess up, we aren't ready... we should have more practice! I can't just get up there and sing and..."

"Shut up, Gerard," Mikey snapped. Obviously his nerves were wearing on his patience. "At least you know how to sing! I have no idea what I'm doing with this damned thing!" Mikey shook the guitar case.

"You're a freaking natural, Mikey. You don't know what you're talking about," Gerard said.

"Would both of you just calm down!?" Ray snapped suddenly. "Both of you just shut up and march your happy asses inside that church. We're doing this tonight and there's no getting out of it!" Ray turned, holding his guitar case in his hand he walked abruptly towards the church doors. Everyone stopped and watched him go.

"It's someone's time of the month..." Frank muttered.

"Come on guys," Bob said. His drum sticks stuck out of his back pocket, where they always were.

With little resistance all the boys walked into the church. Frank remembered the place by heart having spent six years of catholic school there. Between daily chapel sessions in the church, regular attendance, conformation classes, and confessions, Frank had spent more time in this church than he had ever wanted to. There was something else he recognized immediately also.

"Hey, Sister Madaline," Frank greeted an aging woman dressed as a nun with a cheeky smile. She, in return, glowered at him.

"Good evening, Mr. Iero. If you're here to light anything on fire then I suggest you remove yourself before..."

"My band and I are here for the concert," Frank interrupted.

"Your band?" Sister Madaline raised a suspicious eyebrow and studied the group before her. Ray kept his manners about him and introduced himself, handshake and all. Bob said that it was a pleasure to meet her. Mikey introduced himself and his brother, failing to shake hands though while juggling his guitar case. Gerard gave a shy, weak, and nervous smile.

"No funny business, Frank," Sister Madaline responded.

"Of course not, ma'am," Frank said with another cheeky smile. He could look adorable and innocent when he wanted. It was a trick he'd picked up, but unfortunately people were beginning to see through it.

"Sign yourselves up on here then go down to the basement," Sister Madaline instructed, handing Frank a clip board. Frank took the clipboard and pen then pondered a moment on what to write. He didn't feel like writing out all of their names and their band didn't even have a name yet... perhaps they should have considered this before then. A thought struck him and he smiled as he signed. He handed back the clipboard and led the way down to the basement.

Frank recognized some people he'd gone to elementary school with. Everyone was growing up, and it was scary. He noticed some of them had stuck orthodox catholic, while some became more relaxed. All the youths down in the basement, there were about fourty (good size for this kind of thing), clumped themselves into cliques. Frank had never really liked any of these people. He stuck with his friends, and the punk invaders snuck to the back and held up the wall.

"Hey, Frank!" a girl's voice broke above the noise and drew Frank's attention. It was Jamia, dressed to the nine in very church appropriate clothes. If that wasn't surprising enough, Frank was concerned when he wasn't practically raped as a hello, like normal.

"Hey, Jamia," Frank smiled, moving to hug her. She backed away, shaking her head and making a face at Frank. Frank looked at her confused.

She leaned against the wall next to him before whispering, "My uncle's over their, and he tells my dad everything! They're crazy, I'm not supposed to date yet," Jamia said. Frank looked across the room, but the only person old enough to be an uncle was the priest. Weird.

"I understand," Frank whispered back, then turned to his friends. "Guys, this is Jamia. She's an old friend from school here. Jamia, this is Gerard, Mikey, Bob, and you already met Toro."

The boys were polite enough, if not a little awkward, with introductions. Frank was nervous, looking between Gerard and Jamia, wondering if either noticed anything. Surely it wasn't wrong. It's not like Jamia and Frank were dating or anything! Sure, Jamia had a habit of kissing him, but they hadn't said anything along the lines of dating! Besides, he'd only kissed Gerard once. It wasn't like he was playing them or anything... he couldn't help it if he like BOTH of them. That was okay, right? It's just...

"Good evening boys and girls!" Sister Madaline's voice came over the speakers, and Frank found her at the front of the room standing in the tape stage. It was merely a few tape lines on the linoleum, indicating a stage.

"Welcome to Saint Anthony's for our youth concert tonight. I'm sure all of you will be on your best behavior as we enjoy our time of worship together. First up is Nancy Tucker and Jeremiah Martins performing "All That I Am,"" Sister Madaline smiled towards two teens that walked up to the tape stage. She moved out of the way as the boy named Jeremiah plugged his guitar into the amp.

The first kids weren't that bad; Nancy could sing pretty well. Some of the other ones were more torturous. Jamia kept cracking jokes that made the whole group in the back crack up, resulting in dirty looks from those around them. When a group of five sang harmonized Kumbyah, Bob asked Gerard to kill him and Frank let out a snort of laughter a bit too loud. More glares.

"Next up tonight we have... hmm... the, err, goth kids in the back?" Sister Madaline read from her clipboard and looked up with a frown.

"That's us!" Frank whispered, breaking away from the wall and heading towards the stage, guitar in hand. Everyone else followed him.

"Frank Iero, I should have known," Sister Madalline shook her head at Frank.

"We need to get set up first, it will only take a second," Gerard said. "Bob, go get in your box, dude,"

The drum set the church provided was old and ghetto, but in working order none-the-less. It sat shoved in the corner in a sound containing box, so to not be too loud. Bob happily locked himself inside while the other boys set up their guitars.

Frank was on his second wind, excitement bubbling over again. Ray looked really excited too. And despite Gerard's horrible stage fright, he had an air of confidence about him. It was all an act, Frank could tell, but it was convincing. Mikey's hands shook as he set up his guitar and Frank helped him out really quick, hoping Mikey wouldn't throw up on stage. That kind of this could be traumatizing!

"Alright, you guys ready?" Gerard asked the band. _Hell yeah, _Frank thought. All positive. Gerard grabbed the microphone by the stand and saddled up to it. His lips a mere inch from the metal. His breathing was thick, he was still nervous. Frank shook his head to clear it. They were here to ROCK!

"Hello everybody, how are we doing tonight?" Gerard asked.

_"Good,"_ was the customary response, but Frank could hear the phantoms of screaming fans. Hundreds, no thousands. He saw the rectangular lights above him become spot lights. The tape became a stage. He wondered if the others could see it too.

"So I am Gerard, on the bass is my brother Mikey, our guitar wizard Toro with the hair, Franky boy playing rhythm guitar, and we've got Bob locked in a box."

A few chuckles, nothing impressive.

"And now if you would please join me in prayer before we begin..." Gerard started. _Geeze, he sure is hamming this up!_ "Our Father..." Gerard was technically catholic after all... everybody followed him in the LORD's prayer.

"And now, we call this little number... House of Wolves!"

Bob and Mikey started them, and Toro and Frank joined the song with a squealing start before what Ray had called 'the voodoo' started up. Then Gerard started singing.

Everyone on stage came to life, the power of live performance. The audience watched in curiousity. By the start of the second verse not many had moved. Frank knew what they were doing. They were scared. Was this allowed? Hell no. Could they like it? Hell yes.

It didn't take long though. By the second chorus they were all on their feet, well most of them. Some started dancing. The adults in the room took more notice, more concern. Especially when Gerard belted out "Well I think I'm gonna burn in hell!" It was loud, it was hectic, and it was beautiful. The grownups were scared. Frank saw the Father start towards the front of the room where they were.

"Gerard!" Frank called out while still playing, and nodded his head in the direction of the older man. The frontman actually made a game of tag with the priest, running about the stage with his wireless microphone. This recieved laughter.

Gerard was near Frank now, dancing around his performance, singing his little black heart out. He was gleaming, it was amazing. Frank played a long with him, like a back-and-forth. There was a break in the singing and that's when Frank did it. Very quick, very sudden. Just a kiss on the lips, nothing significant. A collective gasp echoed. _Ew, Gerard's lips are slimy._

"THAT IS ENOUGH!" the Father bellowed at the same time Sister Madalline pulled the plug on the amps. There was some spark and the light above them kinda blew up. All the otehr lights went out. Someone screamed.

"It's alright, everybody calm down," a middle aged man dressed as a police officer called walking up the the "stage."

"We are My Chemical Romance, mother fuckers!" _wait, who has the microphone?_ Frank looked up and saw Mikey. Whoa. That was random.

"That is enough out of you," the officer scolded, grabbing Mikey by the crook of his arm.

Bob, who hadn't noticed the commotion through his sound box kept playing. Ray backed up silently, not taking his eyes off the cop, and rapped on the box a few times. Bob stopped, embarrassed. He stepped out looking confused and bashful, tucking his drum sticks back in his pocket and pulling out ear plugs.

More poeple filled into the basement. A few more nuns, a man in a suit, and about a dozen more kids. All boys, dressed in blue robes. _Get the choir boys around you,_ Frank thought. He couldn't interpret the omen.

"Come on, let's talk," the officer said. Some rebels they were, they followed the officer without resistance. Frank knew the route to the Father's office and it wasn't far, but he followed along politely like a good little boy. Oh how his thoughts amused him.

Once in the office, Mikey thew up in a trashcan. Gerard knelt on the dense rug next to Mikey, rubbing circles on his brother's back, who's head was stuck in the trashcan. Obviously stage fright had caught up to him.

"What's up with him? You okay, kis?" the officer asked.

"Stage fright," Gerard said. "It was his first time playing bass,"

"That was pretty good for your first time," the man said.

Mikey shuddered, wiping his mouth on the back of his sleeve without caring and struggling to stand up on shaky knees. "Thanks,"

"We are not here to reward them," Sister Madalline snapped at the officer. "We are here to talk about the total disgression they have commited tonight and what is to be done about them!"

"Now sister..." Frank started, but Madalline snapped at him.

"Not a word from you! You're the same devil you were five years ago!" she said.  
"And you had better get that smile off of your face!"

Bob chuckled softly and the siter turned on him.

"You all think this is funny! Well it's not. And if I had my way with you right now you certainely wouldn't think it was funny young man!"

"Sister," the Father said gently from the doorway. Frank jumped, he hadn't noticed him appear. "I would like you to go supervise the youths out there. Officer Ganges and I can take care of these boys,"

With a huff of defiance she left the room.

"Now," the Father heaved a sigh as he stood before his great mahogony desk. "Why don't you all have a seat so we can discuss this?" Everyone sat.

"What's to discuss?" Frank asked, and the priest held up a gentle hand to silence him.

"You came here to prove something, and I'm curious as to what it is," the Father said. He laced his fingers together and sat back on the edge of his desk. None of the boys spoke. "You have a choice. You can talk to me, or sister Madalline. And at the moment, she's ready to press charges,"

Mikey's eyes got incredibly large and he looked a little green again. Just in case, Frank pulled the trashcan over towards them.

"What the boys have done tonight is not along the lines of legal action," Officer Ganges spoke up. "In fact, I think the worst things they may have done tonight are break a sound law and some profanity."

The officer turned to Mikey. "That language was repulsive, no wonder you threw up, kid," he scolded, but he smiled gently as he did. So he wasn't angry. Interesting.

"And the worst you can get for that is a smack on the wrist," the priest added. "Boy, hold out your hand," he instructed Mikey. Mikey immediately stuck his hand out nervously, to which the older man smacked it lightly. This recieved a laugh from everyone and a grin from Mikey.

"What was your purpose here tonight boys?" Ganges asked. "Are you rebelling against something...?"

"Frank used to go to school here," Ray said.

"Yes, I remember Frank quite well. We saw quite a lot of each other, hm?" the Holy Man said and Frank grinned bashfully.

"We're going to hell anyways," Gerard added. Frank could tell from the look on his face that he hadn't meant to say it, but it was too late. Frank and Gerard had decided years ago that they were going to hell, back in middle school. They couldn't possible get into heaven cause they did all the stuff they were told NOT to, like jack off and cuss.

"Whether you go to heaven or hell is up to God and God alone," the Priest said gently. "But it seems to me that if you believe in hell, you must believe in God," several boys nodded.

"Frank, John 3:16," he instructed. Frank recited it. "Whoever believes..." the older man echoed. "We all sin, boys. But the fact that we are consciouss of our sins and can take action against them gives us hope. We were saved by the blood Christ spilt on the cross, so tehre is always hope,"

"It's completely normal how you're feeling," the officer added in. "You're young and you're rebellious. Most of you have had the LORD shoved down your throats so long that all you want to do now is throw him back up. You'll get through this,"

"So... we aren't in any trouble?" Ray asked tentively. The Priest chuckled at him.

"No trouble tonight. It is not as if you came in to sacrifice virgins or anything," the holy man said.

"First we light them on fire," Gerard joked, and even got the older man to laugh.

"I would suggest, though, for the sake of Sister Madalline's heart, that you don't play at another youth event," the Father suggested.

"Weren't planning on it," Frank said.

"Yeah, I can cross 'crash a church's youth concert' off of my bucket list now," Bob added.

"Get out of here," the officer said kindly, raising to his feet and opening the door. "Careful getting your things, she's still out there," Ganges joked as he winked at the boys, as if sharing an inside joke. A really really lame inside joke that wasn't even funny. In fact so unfunny that it cross the lines of being so unfunny that it was funny and just went back to being unfunny again. Extreme if Frank had ever heard of it.

They collected their belongings as nimbly as they could and rushed out of the church.

"Don't come back!" Sister Madalline called. Frank heard the Father respond, "you can't tell children not to come to church, sister..." and he started laughing again.


	16. Chapter 16

"Mom!" Gerard yelled, walking through the front door. "We're home!"

"And before curfew, I'm surprised," Mrs. Way appeared on the balcony in a bath robe. Her brown hair was wet and hung down to her shoulders. Upon seeing Frank she quickly pulled her robe tight and backed away from the railing.

"Dear, I'm not decent!" she exclaimed.

"Mom, we've known Frank since he was seven years old, I don't think he cares," Gerard said.

"Yeah, have you met _my_ mom?" Frank joked. There was a day she hadn't realized Gerard was over and walked around the house naked. The boys were twelve at the time. Gerard wished his first naked woman hadn't been Frank's mom or his dad's secret lover. Awkward.

"Is Frank spending the night?" Mrs. Way asked.

"I told you yesterday," Gerard rolled his eyes.

"Very well. Don't stay up too late, we have church in the morning," Mrs. Way said, turning to go back into her room. Gerard, who had been in the middle of taking off his shoes, tripped and had to save himself from face planting a wall.

"What!?"

Mikey turned a bit green again and Frank actually blushed, almost bursting into amused giggles at the unfortnuate happening. Curses on Frank. _God, oh God, I'm screwed. We're dead. Goodbye cruel world! Shit._

"Your aunt Marie is coming to visit, you know how faithful she is with church," Mrs. Way said, shaking a hand to dismiss the insantity.

"Why do we have to go?" Mikey asked.

"Michael!"

"I have a project I'm doing for school with Ray tomorrow, and it's going to take all day to do it," Mikey lied. _Freaking genius..._ Thankfully he had his older brother's back. "And Gerard was going to help us, since he already had Ms. Tuhulski's class last year,"

"Fine," Mrs. Way pursed her lips, then walked back into her room, muttering to herself "going to think I'm raising heathens..."

They dropped the guitar cases in the hallway and ventured into the kitchen to raid the fridge of substanse.

"Bummer that Toro and Bob couldn't come over," Mikey said as he pulled out milk and a glass.

"Yeah, that was a good story back there, Mikey," Frank said. Frank took a swig out of the carton. Mikey frowned at it momentarily, hesitating before finally returning it to the fridge. Maybe he wasn't thirsty after all. It had always bothered him when people did that, but he'd managed to tolerate it. The fact that he'd just seen Frank kiss his brother made it worse_. Ew, just ew. Who would want to kiss Gerard?_

"We've always had a talent for lying," Gerard said. "But Mikey's always been a better story teller. He got away with more than I did,"

"That's why I'm the good kid," Mikey joked.

"Hey boys," Mr. Way said walking into the kitchen. "Hello, Frank," he shook Frank's hand. Such formalities for someone who was practically family. Gerard rolled his eyes. Good thing Frank had been around a while and was conditioned to the insanity.

"You staying the night, Frank?" Mr. Way asked.

"Yes sir," Frank responded, returning the politeness. He always called Gerard's father 'sir', Gerard knew, because Mr. Way scared him.

"You guys sleeping in the living room?"

"My room," Gerard corrected. _More privacy, less eavesdropping._ Gerard's father made a face.

"All three of you?"

"Yes, Dad. ALL three of us," Gerard insisted impatiently.

"Dad, I'm not gay," Mikey added. The old man held his hands up in surrender.

"Okay, okay! I get it. Church tomorrow, so you won't be staying up very late," Mr. Way said. Gerard considered telling him the excuse Mikey had told his mother, but thought it better to just agree for now and let him find out later.

"Alright, Dad," Gerard said, grabbing a bag of chips. The three boys departed up the stairs and into Gerard's room, leaving Mr. Way alone.

!

"Why's aunt Maria coming back?" Mikey asked randomly. He lay on his back on the foot of Gerard's bed, head hanging off the edge and reading a comic book upside down. Frank occupied a swivel chair and spun himself in slow circles as he examined cd's he already knew. Gerard lay sprawled out on the floor throwing darts at the ceiling. It was a risky game, he'd already gotten stabbed twice. It was fun.

"I'm not sure," Gerard said. "You think she found out about..." Gerard suddenly stopped talking and cleared his throat. Frank didn't know. NOBODY knew. Except for Mikey. Sometimes Gerard forgot. He liked forgetting.

"Found out about what?" Frank asked curiously, pausing mid spin.

"Grandma Elena's been getting a bit agressive with the nurses," Gerard lied. He hated lying to his best friend. It was a shitty thing to do, but necessary. He could not talk about the cancer. "Made a girl cry the other day,"

Frank chuckled. "I love your Grandma," he said.

"Yeah..." Gerard responded.

"She scares me sometimes though..."

"She scares everybody," Mikey piped in. "That's the great thing about her."

"Not everybody has a punk rock grannie," Gerard joked, causing an erruption of laughter. All three teens were exhausted, caffene high, and a bit ditzy. It was certainly grande.

"We sure pissed off sister Madalline today," Mikey said.

"I know! Wasn't it fucking great!?" Frank said excitedly.

"It sure was something," Gerard smiled. "We need to keep that up, performing live? Wherever we can..."

"Am I still in the band?" Mikey asked.

"Duh!" Frank exclaimed.

"Of course bro!"

"Yay," Mikey smiled happily, rolling onto his stomach. He was getting lightheaded from being upside down.

"I wasn't really listening earlier," Frank said. "Where'd you get the name anyways?"

"Oh, you mean My Chemical Romance? Grandma Elena gave me a book," Mikey said. "Ecstasy: Three Tails of Chemical Romance. It seemed fitting,"

"It's perfect," Frank said. "I love it, we all do! It's like, the perfect miracle name for the next best rock n roll band in the world!" Frank said dramatically. "Shit guys, I don't know if you can see it, but this is going to be big."

!

Passed out spontaneously around the room, all three boys were asleep by three in the morning. Mikey curled up on the floor with a nest of blankets, clutching the unicorn stuffed animal his mother had sewn back together. Frank had claimed the bed some how and lay a top the covers on his back, with his head at the foot and an arm flung over his eyes. He snored quietly. Gerard half under the bed and half out from under the bed by some strange means, sleeping on his stomach with his head on a pillow.

Frank woke gently and randomly around four in the morning, God knows why! It was way too early to be consciouss. He rolled sleepily onto his side and grasped around for his cell phone. He found it and started flipping through the messages. Nothing new. Nada. Wow he was so popular.

He checked facebook on his phone, deciding to check up on their band's page, which finally had a page since it had a name now. When they'd checked it earlier they'd gotten five likes, all kids from the church. There were two more now.

Being bored out of his mind and awake for some strange reason, Frank decided to scan Jamia's profile. She always had something interesting to say, since her father didn't know she had a facebook anyways. Good christitan girls don't have facebooks, and they certainly don't post the kind of statuses Jamia usually does.

The first status on the page caught Frank's attention.

_Guys are worthless. All they ever do is rip your heart out and stomp on it. Good for nothing assholes, I hope he rots in hell! :P_

_ Oh shit_, Frank thought. No, it's fine. Jamia must know plenty of asshole guys... this wasn't about Frank, no way! What had he done...

Holy shit, he kissed Gerard. . .her. "Oh my fucking God," he moaned outloud into the listening darkness. Gerard stirred on the floor. This was not good, this was so not good. How could he have done that in front of her!? Either she was completely disgusted or completely heartbroken. Frank couldn't tell, he wasn't good with girls. Frank pictured himself and his friends as birth control. Nobody wanted to fuck them. Except Jamia had been different... and he freaking ruined it!

"Holy shit!" he snapped at himself in a whisper. "You fucking moron,"

He quickly texted Jamia, something very simple and neutral, as if nothing had happened, just to see where he stood. Probably low, very low. If he even stood at all anymore. She might have cut off his legs. Damn, he was already too short.

To: Jamia 3:07 a.m.

Hey

He lay there for half an hour staring at his phone and waiting for a reply. He flipped through the pictures, stupid ones he and Gerard had taken at school, like in Chemistry playing with chemicals, and plenty with the rest of his friends too doing random shit. He couldn't distract himself very well though, he was too bothered. He rolled over and stared down at the sleeping figure of Gerard. Was he really in love with his best friend? Or did he love Jamia? Could he possibly love them both? God, it was all so messed up. Why was everything always messed up?


	17. Chapter 17

A fist to the side of the head caught Mikey off guard. He had been peacefully standing at his locker, what from that warranted violence? The force of the punk was enough to knock the fourteen year old into a locker, hard. He stumbled, trying to regain his footing.

"What the-" OOPH! another fist, this time to his stomach, doubled him over. Two strong hands gripped against his throat and pinned his head back against the cool metal of the lockers. People in the hallway stopped to take notice, making a wide circle around the two boys. Nobody tried to stop him though.

Mikey had never seen this guy before in his life! He was tall and muscular, with short cut blonde hair and little eyes. His nose was big. His school uniform looked too tight on his chest. Mikey wished he had that problem. At the moment though, he had a different problem. The big hands traveled up, trying to pull Mikey with them. The boy struggled for breath, kicking and sliding his converse against the locker and scraping the floor, trying to gain footing so he could breath.

"Think it's funny to disrupt something like that, huh punk?" the guy whispered harshly into Mikey's ear. "You think it's all a big joke? I don't like it when people disrespect my church, you hear me!?" he finished his sentence by yelling. Mikey longed to nod, but couldn't. He couldn't move his head. He could barely breath, and speaking was out of the question. The guy grunted in response and dropped Mikey to the floor. Mikey's legs gave out and he sat, legs tucked under him awkwardly.

"You're gonna pay!" the guy shouted and raised a fist. Mikey threw his arms up helplessly to block and closed his eyes as tight as he could.

"Leave him alone, asshole," a voice said, and Mikey opened his eyes. Peter stood there between Mikey and the jerk. He was the same size as the guy, if not slightly bigger. He looked awful terrifying from Mikey's perspective.

"Make me!" the guy shouted back.

"Come on, Mikey," Peter said, keeping a firm eye on the idiot in front of him. "Let's get out of here,"

But when he turned, Mikey was already running from the scene as fast as he could. When Peter wasn't paying attention a fist caught him on the temple.

"Mr. Iero," Mr. Hampleton's voice said. Frank opened his eyes to see his irritated teacher standing in front of him.

"Yes?" Frank asked.

"If it is not too much of a burden on you, I would like you to keep your eyes open during class," the older man said critically.

"Why?" Frank asked. "I'm still listening, I don't see what my sight has to do with it,"

"It aids you and me if I can tell you're focused," Mr. Hampleton said, obviously ticked off.

"What if I were blind?" Frank asked.

"Excuse me?"

"What if I was actually blind, are you saying you couldn't teach me?" Frank asked.

"I'm saying that you are in fact not blind and that you need to keep your eyes open, as a sign of respect," Mr. Hampleton said.

"Respect is earned, sir," Frank said. "I don't believe you're being very respectful to me right now, talking down the way you are,"

"How about you go discuss my disrespectfulness with the principal?" Mr. Hampleton offered.

"Is disrespectfullness a word?" Frank asked.

"Go!"

"But it would be even harder for me to pay attention sir, if I wansn't even in the room. Are you saying you now do not care if I learn? In which case I should be allowed to close my eyes," Frank argued, closing his eyes again.

"Frank, I will give you to the count of three to leave that seat and be out the door, headed to the office," Mr. Hampleton said, steaming now. Frank wondered if he would spontaneously combust.

"How would you know that I go to the office? I could go anywhere..." Frank said, opening his eyes again.

"One," Frank leaned back in his seat. "Two," he yawned as if bored, and stared up at the angry bald guy in front of him. He wasn't four years old, he would not be reprimanded as one. "Three," Mr. Hampleton reached down and grabbed Frank harshly by the arm, nearly lifting him out of his seat. Holding tight, he dragged Frank to the door with him.

"I will return shortly!" he snapped. His eyes searched the room quickly before landing on a black haired kid in the back of the room who was idling drawing in his notebook. He'd never heard the kid talk and figured he wasn't a trouble maker. It took him a short moment to remember his name. "Gerard, watch the class," he snapped before yanking open the door and pulling Frank out after him.

Gerard looked up, stunned. _He was supposed to what?_ He shrugged, leaning back in his chair and studying all the students who were studying him. He searched over all of them, decided nothing drastic would happen, and went back to his picture. He could still feel the eyes studying him.

"I don't care if you talk or shit," Gerard said. "Just nobody have sex or kill anyone and we should be fine," Gerard said not looking up from his notebook. "If anything's broken we'll blame it on Shawn,"

"Fuck you, Way," Shawn, a ginger jock near the front of the room, said.

"Don't offer what you can't back up," Gerard said.

"Faggot," someone whispered too loud. Giggles.

"Very mature," Gerard said. "Do you really think I care?" Gerard asked.

"You only care when you can't get any," Shawn said.

"Like I said, Shawn, don't offer what you can deliver," Gerard said.

"Shut up, faggot," Shawn spat.

"Okay," Gerard said. He quickly scribbled something down on his homework paper and waited. He heard Mr. Hampleton outside the door and that's when he threw it. Right as Mr. Hampleton walked in, it flew right in front of his nose.

"Don't throw things, Shawn," Gerard scolded.

"What's this?" Mr. Hampleton thought outloud, picking up the balled paper. He unfolded it and Gerard surpressed giggles as his curious face turned to a deep frown.

"You think this is funny, Mr. Rodgrigez?" Mr. Hampleton snapped.

"What? I didn't do it, it was Gerard!" Shawn stuttered out nervously.

"It is incredibly stupid to sign your work, you know. Does this paper say Gerard Way on it?" Mr. Hampleton held a paper with the day's notes as well as a picture of Mr. Hampleton with an erection and a unibrow, right in fron of Shawn's nose. At the top it had Shawn's name on it.

"I didn't draw that!" Shawn demanded.

"Office, now!" Mr. Hampleton barked. Shawn stood from his seat, slamming closed his book. He picked it up and turned to Gerard before walking out. He pointed a shaking finger, his face very angry.

"I'll get you for this, fucker!" he yelled before slamming the door open and stomping away. Nobody spoke. Gerard his a grin behind his arm as he continued to draw, this time he drew Spiderman, erectionless.

Frank was finally free of the office. He'd been lectured on respecting authority and not talking back and how paying attention in class was important. Also on how he needed to get his grades up and stop being tardy. Free, finally free.

As he was walking out of the office he brushed past Jamia, who ignored him. He did an automatic u turn and followed her in. She'd never responded to his text, and he hadn't been able to track her down.

"Jamia, hey," he said. She ignored him and walked over to the counter with a stack of papers.

"Jamia," he touched her shoulder and she whipped around to face him.

"Don't touch me!" she demanded glaring at him. He pulled his hand back.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Don't act like you don't know, and don't talk to me," she snapped, then returned to shuffling papers.

"Come on, Jamia, what did I do?" he whined.

"You know certainly well what you did," Jamia said. "What is he anyways, your gay fuck buddy or something?"

"He's my best friend," Frank said.

"You're that close to all your friends then?" Jamia said sarcastically. "Careful, you might catch a disease,"

"Jamia, it's not like that," Frank said.

"Then what is it?" Jamia demanded.

"It's not like we were dating or anything," Frank said. Wrong words. Jamia turned and slapped him across the face, hard! He could practically feel it turning red.

"OW!"

"Asshole," she spat. "I gave you my heart..." she emphasized it with a click of the stapler. "I trust you!" CLICK! "I kissed you, I came to your house, I've helped you with homework... and you just go and do that! In front of me, in front of everybody!"

"I'm sorry," Frank said.

"Do you have no shame?" she demanded.

"Huh?"

"In a church, in God's freaking house, right in front of a girl that loves you..." Jamia blushed and shut her mouth. "Get out," she demanded.

"It's not your office," Frank argued.

"I'm aiding this hour, it's my fucking office, now get out and get to class," she said.

"You said you love me," Frank said quietly, aw struck.

"It was a mistake," Jamia said, blushing darker.

"Jamia," Frank said gently. She turned to face him and he gently cupped her chin in his hand, raising it so he could look into her beautiful eyes, which were tearing up. He leaned in and kissed her. It was different this time, than earlier. It was passionate, and it said every word Frank couldn't get out of his big mouth. Everything that mattered. It wasn't like kissing Gerard. For one, her lips weren't slimy (Although Gerard's only were because he was singing... but still). When he had kissed Gerard it had been out of adrenaline and lust. This, this time he felt something totally different.

"Hey! No PDA!" the secretary barked as she clacked into the office in her high heels. She pulled the two apart then pushed Frank from the office. "Back to class, Iero!"

Frank looked back into the office to see Jamia smiling at him. She nonchalantly flipped him the bird. He blew her a kiss and smiled.


	18. Chapter 18

"Eeeeeeeemmmooo," somebody sang out as Frank walked into his seventh hour room, late. Frank ignored it, walking up to the teacher's desk and handing over his pass. He then headed to his seat, third row, second from the back. A foot shot out and tripped him, making him fall flat on his face. He pushed himself up and slid into his desk. Revenge, he decided, would be annoying the asshole who'd tripped him (who just so happened to sit in front of Frank) by messing with his desk all hour. Kicking it, making it move, poking him in the back with books and pencils. Frank smiled menacingly to himself.

An eraser flew across the room and his Frank in the head. So did a pencil and a few pieces of balled up paper. _ Bastards, _Frank thought.

The bell rang eventually and Frank got out of that class as fast as he could.

As he was rushing out the door, someone else was rushing in. He didn't notice until it was too late and the two boys ran straight into each other, smashing faces in the process.

"Ow! Ew, what?" Frank wiped his mouth in annoyance and glared up to the person in front of him, ready to tell them off.

"Ugh, watch where you're going, asshole!" Gerard complained, licking the blood off of his lip. He looked down to see Frank sitting on the floor, who looked up to see Gerard, and both boys rolled in laughter.

"Homo alert!" someone called out around them. They couldn't stop laughing hysterically.

"Watch out, they might rape you!" someone else called.

"Get a room!" another.

Both boys would have had something to tell them if they could stop laughing. Gerard extended a hand to help up his friend as he wiped tears of laughter from his eyes.

"NEVER kiss me like that again, it fucking hurt!" Gerard complained.

"No problem," Frank said between laughs. _I'm never kissing Gerard again period! _he thought. _Jamia's. All Jamia's, if she will take me._

!

Gerard walked through the halls of the nursing home. It smelled icky. It always smelled icky. Gerard was used to it. He was stalled by elderly people in wheel chairs who just stopped randomly in the hallway, and by nurses bustling around.

He was doors away from grandma Elena's room. A big black and yellow gurney suddenly popped out of a door in front of him, followed by paramedics who were pushing it. Alarms were going off, the paramedics were panicking, and Gerard pushed himself back against the wall to give the room and watch. The man on the gurney couldn't breath. He was turning blue and freaking out, scratching at his throat. Gerard watched in absolute horror, as the man's nails against his flesh left bloody lines. And just like that they were gone, and a few nurses came around to clean up the room. Gerard shivered, breaking from his trance, and practically ran to his grandmother's room. He HAD to see her, even though he knew she was okay. He had to.

He burst into the room, startling the old woman.

"Gerard Way, is the devil chasing you!?" she scolded. Gerard rushed to her side and hugged her. He was shaking, and that worried Elena.

"Baby, what's wrong with you?" she asked gently. He sat up on the edge of her bed, trying to breath.

"Nothing, nothing..." he said. "I-I just thought... nothing, I'm fine. You're fine..."

Her grandson was making no sense. Elena eyed him warrily. Ever since he was young he'd been weird, and that's one of the things she loved about him. Still, he scared him.

"Your aunt came and saw me earlier," Grandma Elena said, deciding the best thing she could do was distract him and act normal. You can't help crazy.

"How was it?" Gerard asked.

"Hell," Elena spat. "That girl is absolutely insane!"

"She's your daughter," Gerard laughed.

"So I've been told," Elena said. "I see no resembolance,"

"What have you gone and done to yourself now?" Elena asked, pressing a thumb to Gerard's bottom lip, which was slightly swollen and bleeding. He grimaced.

"Nothing," he said. "Frank and I knocked into each other today,"

"How is little Franky?" Elena asked.

"Still short,"

"Keeping his grades up?"

"No,"

"Still causing trouble?"

"Of course, that's what he does,"

"And do you still..." Elena stopped herself, not knowing exactly how to finish the question, which was weird since she was always very certain about her words.

"I don't know..." Gerard said. His mouth worked before he gave it permission. "We kissed," he stated, then clamped his mouth shut, which hurt his lip and he let out a strange whimper noise. The dropped his head into his hands, his ears turning bright red.

Elena watched her grandson with interest. "And?" she asked.

"And what?" he responded.

"Fuck, how was it?" Elena didn't think the boy could blush any brighter.

"Uhh," Gerard said. "I-I don't know..."

"I see,"

"Mikey says hi," Gerard said, eager to change the subject.

"Tell him I return the hello and to get his happy ass down here sometime," Elena said.

"Okay,"

"Do you have any more songs to show me?" Elena asked, motioning to the back pack Gerard had dropped by the door.

"Oh, yeah," he got up and walked over. He handed her his notebook as he sat down again.

!

"This is a nice house," Peter said, walking through the front door of the Way residence.

"Thanks," Mikey said, throwing his back pack on the ground and kicking off his shoes.

"Mikey? Is that you?" his mother called out.

"Yeah," he responded. "Come meet my mom," Mikey said as he lead Peter to the kitchen.

"Mom," he said, causing her to look up as he entered. "This is Peter. Peter, this is my mother,"

"Oh, it's so nice to _finally _meet one of Michael's friends!" Mrs. Way exclaimed, shaking Peter's hand firmly.

"Mom, I have friends!" Mikey demanded.

"Michael isn't very good at making friends, so it's nice to see someone new," Mrs. Way continued.

"Alright, we're leaving," Mikey grabbed Peter's arm and lead him out of the kitchen, up the stairs.

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Way," Peter called back over his shoulder.

"Don't listen to her, she's insane," Mikey said as he rushed into his room and quickly kicked Fluffy under the bed. _ Damn, he should have cleaned up first_.

"So you really have them then?" Peter asked eagerly, looking around Mikey's room. His eyes landed on a unicorn figure on one of Mikey's shelves and he held in a laugh.

"Right here," Mikey smiled proudly, presenting two tickets to a Smashing Pumpkins concert. Peter's eyes widened as he stared at them.

"Damn, that is wicked," Peter said, voice near whisper. "When's the concert? How much did they cost?"

"A hundred and twenty a peice," Mikey said. "October 27th,"

"Why aren't you taking your brother?" Peter asked another question.

Mikey had to think about this answer. He'd heard Gerard before talking to Frank about how some other band was way cooler than Smashing Pumpkins. And then when Peter had seen the cd fall out of Mikey's locker and started talking about them... Mikey didn't know. It just felt cool, you know? Hanging out with someone. Maybe he did need a few more friends.

"I don't think Gerard really likes them," Mikey said, improvising his thoughts to a simple statement.

"Fair enough," Peter shrugged. "So when do you want the money by?"

"Whenever you can, but before the concert. I need to buy a t-shirt there," Mikey said.

"Cool, okay," Peter said.

"So watcha wanna do?" Mikey asked, a bit bashfully. He hadn't planned what they would do after he'd shown Peter the tickets. He wasn't very experienced at this sort of thing either.

"I don't really care," Peter said.

"You like comic books?" Mikey asked.

"Yeah, comic books are cool," Peter responded.

"Awesome!" Mikey pulled a box out of his closet. "I have a lot of super hero stuff here," he said, kneeling in front of the box. "Some of it's kinda dorky, but I don't know... Gerard has some fangoria in his room if you're into that stuff," Mikey offered.

"Cool, alright," Peter responded. Mikey got to his feet and went to Gerard's room to steal his comic books. {Dang little brothers! Always taking your stuff!} Peter couldn't help but laugh. What would Kevin say if he saw him right then- in a freshmeat's room playing with comic books? He'd laugh his ass off. Just like all the rest of his friends... Peter decided that he'd have to keep this friendship undercover, but he had to keep Mikey's friendship if he wanted to see Smashing Pumpkins.

Mikey returned smiling and holding a big pile of comic books in his arms. His smile was contagious, and Peter couldn't help but smile back at the kid. _Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be torturous._


	19. Chapter 19

"Mikey, have you seen my..." Gerard opened his little brother's door to find Mikey and that jock kid from school sitting on the floor reading comic books. Strange sight that it was, Gerard forgot what he'd been looking for. "Uhhh..."

"What are you looking for?" Mikey asked.

"Nothing, nevermind," Gerard said quietly, eyeing Peter with a cautious look.

"Oh, hey Gerard," Peter raised a hand civily. This was creepy. Peter, a jock in Gerard's own grade who never referred to him as anything but his last name was sitting on the floor of his little brother's bedroom reading comic books and calling him Gerard. And he smiled. Weird. Just weird.

"Care to join us?" Mikey offered.

"No, no, that's alright..." Gerard said, backing out the door again. "You guys have fun," he closed the door firmly and slumped back against the wall a moment, trying to think.

"Hey, Mikey," Peter said. "Do you guys have a bathroom?"

"No we shit in the yard," Mikey said completely serious without looking up from his comic book. Peter stared at him dumbfounded and Mikey thought that maybe the stereotype was right about jocks. "Sarcasm," Mikey said, cracking a smile.

"Oh," Peter laughed with relief.

"On the left,"

"Thanks." Peter stood and went out into the hallway. He closed the door and looked over to see Gerard. "How'd I know you'd be waiting for me?" Peter asked, a bit bitterly.

"I don't know what you're talking about. This is my house, I'm free to lurk wherever I please," Gerard said.

"How's your gay lover?" Peter sneered.

"He's good," Gerard didn't even move to correct Peter on his information. It was all a game for them. They made civil coversation that dripped with venom because once upon a time in seventh grade the two had almost been friends. But Gerard was awful good at holding grudges.

"I don't want Mikey getting hurt," Gerard confronted the elephant in the room and shattered the stiff silence that had grown.

"Is that why you think I'm here? To play with him?!" Peter demanded. Gerard didn't deny it. "I'm not like that, Way,"

"Sure you aren't."

"I'm serious. I have no motices to hurt him,"

"Let's hope not," Gerard said. A threat.

Downstairs the door slammed. Both boys turned and looked at the balcony. From where they were they could not see the front door.

"Hey, G Man!" Ray's voice came up. Of course Ray walked in like he was family, because he practically was.

"Upstairs, Toro," Gerard called back. Gerard and Peter made eye contact for a final time, staring each other down and then breaking away at the same time. A warning and a promise. Peter may rule the school but this was Gerard's territory.

_Stay away from my family and nobody gets hurt._

_ I'm not some lowlife, you've got nothing to worry about._

Toro reached the top of the stairs and approached Gerard. He watched Peter walk back into Mikey's room and raised an eyebrow.

"Apparently they're friends," Gerard shrugged.

"Cool," Ray smiled, happy for Mikey. He was more forgiving that Gerard.

!

"BOB!"

"What?"

"Come downstairs!"

"Why?"

No response. Bob groaned, pulling the pillow from over his face and peeling himself out of bed. He rolled to his feet and scratched at the back of his head. _Pants first,_ he reminded himself and pulled jeans over the briefs he'd slept in.

He stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen, which was brightly lit. Outside it was so dark that Bob wondered if the sun had finally withered away. _What time is it annyways?_ He found a clock. 2:34 am.

"Mama?" he called out.

"On the porch," her voice said. Bob shivered. It was cold without a shirt on. He walked through the living room out onto the front porch.

"It's two in the morning," he grumbled with his eyes nearly closed.

"I thought you liked to stay up late, drummer," a voice said and Bob's eyes shot open instantly.

"Dad! You're back!" he exclaimed and embraced his father in a quick bear hug. "How long are you staying?"

"For at least two weeks, maybe longer," Bob's father said. His voice was deep and husky, suggesting that it hadn't been used too much during his time on the road.

"Yay!" Bob's little sister, Danielle, cheered. Her nine year old eyes were wide open and shining despite being up so late. It was worth it to see their father, who disappeared in his work as a truck driver for weeks at a time. It was always unsure when he'd be back, but when he returned it was a celebration. Bob's family was very close.

!

"Frank, your father called yesterday,"

"What did he want?" Frank asked, looking up from the stove where he was cooking dinner.

"He wants to see you this weekend, get a measurement for the wedding," Frank's mom said.

"It's not his weekend, he can get them another time," Frank said nonchalantly.

"Are you two still fighting?"

"We aren't fighting, I just don't want to spend more time than necessary being lectured, is all," Frank said.

"Now Frank..."

"He's so weird now, Mom. You wouldn't even recognize him!"

"Your father has worked hard his whole adult life to support you," Frank's mother scolded. "He loves you very much." She sighed sadly and took the spatula out of her son's hand. "Why don't you go start your homework? I'll finish dinner,"

"Alright," Frank left the kitchen and walked through the living room to his bedroom. He laughed to himself._ I don't do homwork!_ and plopped down on his bed. He stared up at his black ceiling.

Across the room his computer made a 'ding' noise. Frank forced himself up against gravity and across the room. It was a new message from Jamia.

J: Dinner at my parent's hosue Friday. You want to come?

_Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! I'm getting a second chance! Thank the Lord! Thank mother Mary! Oh my God, I'm meeting her parents... Holy shit... her parents! They'll hate me! It's over before it's even started. _

_ Shut up you loser,_ Frank told himself. _ Play it cool. Chicks dig cool._

F: thought you werent allowed to date

J: my dad wants to meet you

F: y?

J: he wants to know who my frends are

_So that means we're friends then, _Frank thought. _Friend zone, better than no zone._

F: Ill think about it

J: ok

F: ... would I have to dress up?

J: no death metal t shirts

F: fair enough

J: you dont hav to. i dnt rly care. it's just my dad's idea...

_Dammnit, back to the bottom again. _Frank hated hanging here like this, not knowing where he stood. For all he knew he was dirt under her shoes.

He didn't know where he stood with Gerard either. Well sure, they're still best friends. They'll always be best friends but were they something else too? They weren't officially dating or anything, and neither of them had proclaimed to be homosexual. In fact, they'd both denied it multiple times. They'd kissed a few times, but both times it was during a time of adrenaline and high energy. So what did that make them? Friends with benefits? Fuck buddies? Frank didn't want to think about it.


	20. Chapter 20

_ Thank the Lord,_ Peter didn't ask Mikey to sit at lunch with him. Mikey didn't like all those preps. All they ever talked about was how creepy his brother was. _No, thank youl, I do not wish to discuss Gerard's eyeliner._ Yup, he wore eyeliner now. All part of his revenge plan.

Mikey sat happily at lunch eyeing lustfully the untouched pineapple that sat on Bob's tray. It was stacked in a tower. Mikey was starving and the pineapple was calling to him! Taunting him. Freaking whispering his name and sticking it's yellow tongue out... _Okay,_ he thought._ I've had too much coffee today._

"What are you writing Gerard?" Toro asked, looking over his friend's shoulder into a notebook.

"I have no idea," Gerard sighed. He drew a large x on the page and snapped closed his notebook. His head dropped into his hands. Writers block was eating him alive.

"We should write a song," Frank started. "About what it would be like if we got sent to prison. Guys like us, I mean. How hardcore it'd be and how no one would care that we were being raped and shit," Frank said.

"And it could be a metaphor," Ray piped in.

"Exactly!"

"It's a metaphor for real life, dramatized by the prison setting?" Gerard mused.

"What would we call it?" Bob asked.

"You know what they do to guys like us in prison," Mikey said, still staring at the pineapple. Bob looked at Mikey and saw the creepy look in his eyes. With a sigh he shoved the tray towards the younger boy.

"I like it," Gerard smiled as he opened up his notebook again.

Frank held his tea cup up to his lips daintily and took a sip. A random sandwhich flew across the room and nailed him on the side of the head.

"Ew," he muttered as he removed it. A few tables over a group of preps, the preps that hung out with Peter, burst into laughter. Peter didn't seem to be paying much attention, but he laughed along with them.

!

In her room Elena sat perched up against a dozen pillows. The lights were dimmed and cast brutal shadows across everything. She was paling and the veins under her eyes and in her head were darker than before. A notebook sat on her lap and she scribbled out her signature cursive into looping letters and words. A slow tear trickled down her cheek as she put down the pencil. She wondered how long it would take to finish the song, and if anyone would ever hear it.

!

_Ew, onions. Fucking onions. _The stench of his breath in Frank's face was vile. He wrinkled up his nose and turned his head, trying to push the guy off of him. Useless.

"Be a good little boy and climb into the locker for me," Kevin said. "And I just might take it easy on you."

Frank spat in his face which consequenced having his head snapped back against the lockers.

"Bad choice," Kevin snarled. He planted his forearm on Frank's throat and pushed up, giving him no choice but to raise his chin. It was a very volnerable position. Kevin pressed his forearm hard into Frank's throat. Frank was choking, which was Kevin's goal. He couldn't breath and he saw darkness swim in his vision as he began to pass out.

Ray sped around the corner and slammed into Kevin as hard as he could. Both were big guys, and Ray's force took them to the ground. Frank, out of Kevin's grasp, dropped to the carpeted hallway floor like a rag doll.

"Bob!" Ray yelled as he struggled to hold control over Kevin. "Go get someone!"

"Boys, Break it up!" a teacher yelled as he rounded the corner, narrowly avoiding smacking into Bob. He pulled Ray off of Kevin and held him back, not knowing that Kevin had been the original problem.

"What are you standing there?" he barked at Bob, who jumped. "Go get help!"

"He needs a nurse," Ray said about Frank. Bob ran off and returned momentarily with the main school nurse.

She had worked in the high school for twenty-six years. She was experienced, having seen everything possible of teenagers (including Ray getting candy stuck up his nose) and remained calm. She knelt on the floor next to Frank and helped him to sit up.

"Follow my finger," she instructed firmly.

"I'm fine," Frank said whoozily, shaking his head no.

"Procedures, Mr. Iero," she said. Reluctantly he followed her finger around with his eyes. "Are you dizzy? What happened here?"

"What on earth is going on here!?" the principal, a small woman with long blonde hair and a constant scowl demanded as she walked down the hallway as a woman with a mission. Her face was red, obviously flustered from the news of a fight in HER hallways. She crossed her arms across her chest as she stood in front of them and glared individually at each person. For a woman the same height as Frank Iero, she sure was scary.

"My office, right now," she snapped. Ray helped Frank to his feet and stayed close by as if Frank would collapse at any second. It kind of pissed Frank off, even though he knew it was just because Ray cared about him. Bob followed sheepishly along, having not been involved in the violence at all and wondering if he had to go to the office as well. He didn't want to risk it though, so he followed along anyways.

"Hey man, you okay?" Ray asked Frank quietly.

"No talking!" the principal snapped. Frank glared daggers at the back of her head. He was in a really really bad mood. It was rather homicidal actually. _For your own safety everyone step away from the steaming midget._

"I want to know what happened out there and I want to know right now," the principal snapped once she had all four boys seated in her office. She leaned back against her desk and kept her arms crossed over her chest.

All four started talking at once and she held a hand up. Automatic silence. THAT was power. _It's bull shit,_ Frank thought.

"One at a time," she said slowly with serious tone.

"Kevin was choking Frank," Ray said.

"Liar!" Kevin demanded.

"Shut up!" Bob rebutted.

"Ma'am, why would I want to choke Frank? I barely know who he is!" Kevin's words slid from his slips sweetly. _The stupid fat ass brown nosing so and so!_

"Ray, continue," she instructed, ignoring Kevin.

"I heard struggling, and when I turned the corner Kevin had Frank pressed against a locker and was choking him," Ray said.

"What action did you take?" the principal asked.

"I... err... made him let go of him," Ray said.

"Violently?"

"I'll have a bruise on my hip for a week cause of you," Kevin spat. "Gonna take a toll on my game this Saturday,"

"And Frank will have bruises on his neck!" Bob responded.

"Boys, calm down," the principal's voice rose above everybody else's and they all shut up. "Mr. Johnson, what did you see?"

"I saw that kid," he guestured to Ray, "on top of Kevin. They were both struggling. That other kid," he guestured to Frank "was laying on the floor completely out of it."

"And Ms. Caroline, what did you witness?" she asked.

"I was just helping Mr. Iero off the floor when you showed up. He doesn't have a concussion, but he's a bit beat up."

"Frank?"

"This asshole-!" he started, and the principal cleared her throat. "Sorry, Kevin here was trying to shove me in a locker!"

"Kevin?"

"He's making it up, ma'am," Kevin said. "Frank just spat in my face, and I pushed him and told him to knock it off. Next thing I know afroboy here was on top of me. And the other one was kicking me!" Kevin lied._ Lies lies lies lies._

"What? I wasn't even involved!" Bob panicked.

Ray spoke, "Ma'am I swear, all I was trying to do was keep Kevin from choking Frank,"

"I wasn't even choking him!" Kevin demanded.

"Enough!" the principal snapped. "Since I have no way of knowing what exactly happened here, I have a proposition. All four of you have detentions tomorrow night and Saturday school this weekend."

Protests arose and she held up another hand for silence.

"If anyone has an issue with this, then I can suspend you. We would have to see much less of each other, if that's what you would prefer," she said. _Aw hell nah,_ Ray could NOT get suspended. He was already in deep trouble for the suspension.

"I am being generous," the principal said. "Fighting is a serious offense and it will not be punished so lightly next time around."

Frank had a few naughty words for the woman but kept them inside. His head was still spinning, but he refused the nurse's offer to take a look at him or call his mom for a ride.

"No, no," he said. "I'm fine, really,"

"I'll keep an eye on him, ma'am," Ray reassured. "I'll make sure he gets home alright."

"Really, Ray. I'm fine. You guys don't have to babysit me," Frank spat irritably. He was so angry it was incredible. He hadn't even done anything- he had been getting beat up, and now he was stuck in detention and Saturday school. That meant that they were going to miss another band practice. They hadn't had one in forever. Frank felt like he was having a slight mental breakdown. He was so angry he was sweating.

"No need to snap at people, Frank," Ray said a bit hurt. "You're not the only one who's in trouble, ya know,"

"I got fucking attacked and I'm being punished for it," Frank snapped. "It's bull shit,"

"Yeah, but it's high school," Bob sighed. Those were some of the wisest words ever spoken.


	21. Chapter 21

Gerard lay back on Frank's bed and watched his friend panic. He was there to supposedly help Frank get ready for his date, which he thought was a bit backwards... Didn't girls usually do that kind of thing? Oh well, Gerard wasn't very experienced with dates anyways, so what did he know?

Frank was so nervous that he was shaking. He'd had to change shirts three times already because he kept sweating through them as he tried to fix his hair.

"Are you going to keep leaking like that all night?" Gerard asked as Frank ripped off another shirt.

"It's not my fault, I'm nervous!" Frank said.

"Wear a t-shirt under your shirt then," Gerard said. Frank's face said 'eureka!' as he ran to his closet to find a t-shirt and new collared shirt. _Running isn't going to help that problem much,_ Gerard thought.

"Does my hair look okay?" Frank asked.

"You look beautiful, Franky," Gerard said

"Dude, I'm serious here,"

"Yes, Frank. You look absolutely stunning. Your catholic girl would convert to satanism to please you, you're so damn hot," Gerard said.

"Thanks," Frank smiled wide and started messing with his hair again. He'd changed it recently, dying the sides of it red and shaving it down but leaving the middle longer and black. He liked how it looked, but was scared Jamia's parents wouldn't.

"Should I hide this?" Frank asked, refferring to the scorpion tattoo that decorated his neck. He'd gotten it a few months back and his mother had thrown a fit about it.

"Stop freaking out," Gerard said. "And stop trying to disguise yourself! Jamia loves you the way you are and you should just respect that,"

"She doesn't love me..." Frank said quietly. "This is all her dad's idea. She still hasn't forgiven me for..." Frank cleared his voice and Gerard knew exactly what he was talking about. Oh yeah, the kiss.

"Go," he said as he pushed Frank out of his room. "Go to her house and stun her parents and win her love,"

"No! I can't!" Frank cried. He quickly removed his lip ring and threw it on his dresser.

"Do you need me to push you all the way there, because I can?" Gerard threatened.

"No, no, that's alright. But hey... could you give me a ride?" Frank asked.

"You really need to get your license bro," Gerard chuckled. He pulled open the front door and nearly ran into Mr. Iero, who looked very surprised with his fist up mid-knock. Behind him stood his fiance, the blonde hooker. The four people stared at each other for a moment without saying anything.

"What are you doing here?" Frank asked, slightly glaring at his father.

"I came to pick you up, Frank," Mr. Iero spoke. "Hey, Gerard. How are you?"

"Fine,"

"I told you I'm not coming this weekend. You have me NEXT weekend," Frank said.

"Well, the sooner we get wedding preparations out of the way the better," Mr. Iero smiled as if it was the most senseful thing in the world.

"Too bad, cause I can't go," Frank spat.

"Excuse me?"

"I told you, I'll come by next weekend. I already have things planned," Frank said rather aggrivated. "I have to go to Jamia's house tonight for dinner,"

"Is Jamia your girlfriend?" Mr. Iero asked, raising his eyebrows and looking pleased at the idea of his son getting a girlfriend.

"No,"

Mr. Iero's face dropped.

"Can we come in and talk about this?" Mr. Iero asked.

"There's nothing to talk about, and that would be up to Mom," Frank said.

"Then may I speak to her?"

"About me?"

"Possibly,"

"No," Frank said. "Now I'm sorry you had to make the drive out here, but maybe you should have called first,"

"I did call. You wouldn't answer,"

"I've been busy,"

"What can be that important, Frank? You're sixteen!"

"A lot can be important,"

"Either way, the wedding is more important than some silly little date. You can reschedule," Mr. Iero reasoned.

"So can you. Now if you'll excuse me I'm already late and it's very rude for me to not be on time. I can not come to your house this weekend because I also have a detention tomorrow,"

"For what!?" Mr. Iero snapped.

"For getting beat up. I told you I've been busy," Frank shoved past his father and his father's fiance and hurried across the street to Gerard's house. Gerard followed directly behind him.

"Frank Anthony Iero! Get back here young man!" he heard his father call, not especially angry but more surprised.

"Be back in a few hours!" he called back and both boys hopped in Gerard's parent's car and sped down the road.

"So your step mom's a prostitute?" Gerard asked. Frank laughed.


	22. Chapter 22

Jamia lived on the safe side of Belleview, which neither Frank or Gerard knew existed. The houses were all big and the grass was green. People parked their cars out in their driveways and there were no gates on the doors or bars on the windows. It was a bit unnerving for Frank. What kind of people were Jamia's parents? He didn't think he could impress rich people...

"What's the address again?" Gerard asked but it fell on deaf ears. "Helloo? Frank?" He reached over and poked Frank in the face.

"Huh!?"

"The address?"

"Oh right," Frank pulled out a scratch piece of paper and handed it to Gerard. They stopped in front of a nice brick house. The bricks were a pretty red-brown color. The drive way was so white it shined and the grass looked as soft as Frank's pillow.

"You gonna need a ride home?" Gerard asked.

"Yeah," Frank said. "I'll, uh, text you. Thanks,"

"No problem. Don't be so nervous, go have fun," Gerard smiled encouragingly at his friend.

"Yeah, okay," Frank forced himself out of the car and Gerard pulled away. He jogged up the drive way nervously, past a very new and shiny car. He was scared that his converse would leave foot prints on the white concrete. It was so clean it was unnatural.

Frank stood nervously on the porch and checked one last time to make sure he wasn't sweating too much. He huffed into his hand to check his breath. _Okay, no going back._ He was about to knock when he realized these houses had doorbells. _DOORBELLS! _He pressed it gently.

A man, looking to be anywhere from 45-50 but not much younger opened the door. He had salt and pepper hair and wore nice clothes, making Frank happy he had dressed up. The man had no mustache and wore no glasses. He looked quite ordinary for upper-middle class.

"Who are you?" the older man asked him.

Frank cleared his throat, "I'm Frank Iero, your daughter's friend."

"You're the boy she's been hanging out with?" he raised a suspiscious eyebrow at Frank, who chuckled nervously.

"Democrat or Republican?"

"Err... which are you sir?" Frank asked.

"Republican,"

"Good news, we have a lot in common already," Frank lied.

"Well, come on inside then, Frank," Mr. Nestor smiled down at Frank.

"Thank you," The short boy huffed a breath of relief.

"Darling, this is Frank Iero, Jamia's friend," Mr. Nestor introduced.

"Oh, hello. It's so nice to meet you," Mrs. Nestor shook Frank's hand firmly. _ At least she was more friendly than her husband. _

"We were just sitting down for supper, why don't you join us?" she offered.

"Yes ma'am," Frank sighed as he followed them. To his surprise, although it shouldn't have surprised him, they didn't eat in the kitchen. They had a seperate dining room adourning the kitchen. _Damn, these complicated rich people._

"We've already said grace, but I guess we could say it a second time," Mr. Nestor said. "You can never praise the Lord too often," he smiled.

_Wanna bet?_ Frank thought.

"Frank, why don't you say grace," Mrs. Nestor offered.

"N-no, no," Frank stuttered out. "Really, I'm out of practice,"

"You never need to practice when speaking to the Lord,"

Mr. Nestor led them in prayer, but continually gave Frank suspiscious glances.

"You and Jamia used to go to St. Anthony's together, is that correct?" Mr. Nestor asked.

"Yes, sir," Frank said. He looked over to Jamia, who hadn't spoken yet. He wondered why she was so quiet.

"I have not seen your family at church before," Mr. Nestor said. "It would be hard to miss you, we attend every Sunday."

Frank took a deep breath. This was going to be torturous. "We don't go as often as we used to,"

"And how often is that?"

"uhh... Christmas and Easter..." Frank felt himself blush. Mr. Nestor gave a 'hm' noise.

"How are your grades?" Mrs. Nestor asked.

"He's on honor roll," Jamia spoke before Frank could. _Honor roll my ass!_ he thought. But hey, if she wanted him to lie then he would. For her.

"That's right, sir," Frank said.

"You don't say..."

"I'm also in a band," Frank added with an eager smile which dropped off of his face when he saw Jamia cringe.

"What kind of music do you play?" Mrs. Nestor asked. Music was one thing Frank wouldn't lie about. He would NEVER be ashamed of his music.

"Uhm, Rock n Roll is what it is basically," Frank said. "We don't have much done, but it's all rock songs. I like to think of us as a punk band, but Gerard thinks we're more alternative and Ray says we're soft metal. We can't make up our minds,"

"Is that a tattoo on your neck Frank?" Mr. Nestor asked. Frank held in a grimace. He KNEW he should have hidden it.

"Yes, it is. I got it a few months back," Frank said.

"And your parents were okay with this?"

"No," Frank chuckled. "Well, my mom's okay with it now, but my dad was really mad and his fiance..."

"Your parents are divorced?"

"Yes sir,"

"Well, that explains so much about you, dear," Mrs. Nestor proclaimed.

"Excuse me?"

"Children who come from broken homes are often much wilder and lack guidance," Mr. Nestor explained kindly, but Frank couldn't help but feel that they were mocking him. He used to be really sensitive over his parents divorce. When he was in the hospital a lot as a kid, the doctors always argued about which parent had to sign, and neither parent would come see him if the other was there. Their divorce was just another thing that wasn't normal about him.

"I'm not wild, or..."

"It's alright, Frank. We're here for you," Mrs. Nestor reached across the table and set her hand on top of his. He looked over at Jamia for help.

"Mom, Dad," she said. "Stop. You're scaring him,"

"Jamia!" her father's voice barked. A warning.

"No, don't yell at her!" Frank said, a bit panicked. "It's not her fault. I'm just... really uncomfortable right now..." Frank said honestly. "I'm sorry, but I don't care about politics Mr. Nestor. And I'm not religious..."

"But weren't you at the youth event Jamia attended?" Mr. Nestor asked.

"Yes sir," Frank sighed. "My band and I went,"

Realization came across Mr. Nestor's face and he turned red.

"Frank, it's time for you too leave," he said firmly, standing up from the table. He was tall. Frank was terrified. Yep, Jamia was right when she'd said her uncle (the priest) told her father everything.

"Sir, I didn't come here to talk about Jesus. I came because I'm in love with your daughter!" Frank demanded, gripping the sides of his chair firmly. He saw Jamia's face turn red and she dropped her gaze down to her lap.

"Homosexuality is a sin," Mr. Nestor said. "You brought disgrace to yourself and to the church by your actions. Leave this house immediately!"

Frank stood and looked panickedly around the room. Those fuckers. Those mother fuckers!

"God forgives sin, doesn't he!?" Frank wasn't going down without a fight.

"Jamia, I will not allow you to speak to Frank anymore," Mr. Nestor demanded.

"Dad..." Jamia whimpered quietly.

"Not a word,"

"You can't tell her who she can and cannot speak to! If she wants to be with me then you best believe nothing is going to stop us!" Frank yelled.

"Frank," Jamia's voice was louder this time, and she looked Frank directly in the eyes. Her eyes were hurt and she was near tears. Her voice broke as she spoke the next words, "Get out." It broke his black little heart.

Frank shook his head in disbelief. He'd ruined it. Fucking ruined it. Of course! That's all he ever did! He wasn't worth anything! He was such a fucking screw up! And then there were these stuck up catholics with their big house and their shiny cars and their pretty neighborhood. It was all a bunch of bull shit! Oh they're so fucking holy. Fuck them.

Frank yelled two words. One started with F and the other started with Y. He slammed out of the house and ran down the street, out of the neighborhood, all the way down the highway. He was two miles away when he stopped for two reasons. He couldn't fucking breath and he needed to throw up.

It was seven o clock and would get dark soon. He couldn't walk all the way home in the dark. It was ten more miles and he'd likely get mugged in his neighborhood. Welcome to New Jersey.

Gerard said he'd give him a ride home, but he didn't want to face Gerard right then. He didn't want to explain everything or have someone emphasize with him. Gerard completely understood him more than anything, and sometimes talking to him was like talking to himself. Frank couldn't face himself. He hated himself!

Frank waited for the bus, which took twenty minutes to get there. There was nobody on the bus, but Frank took a seat in the very front.

"You look nice, kid," the bus driver, an old man, said. Frank didn't answer him, just nodded a thanks.

"Where ya headed?" he asked.

"Wherever you're going," Frank sighed. He couldn't force himself to unclench his jaw or his fists.

"I'm about done with my shift, so wherever you need to go," the man offered. Frank sighed, running a hand through his hair which had once been so nicely combed. Frank messed it up, hating all the pampering he'd done for those idiots. He gave the man his address.

Frank thanked the older man when he stopped at the corner of Frank's street. He offered to pay the bus driver, even though he was broke. The man refused, telling Frank to just head home and said 'you look like you need some rest, kid.'

As Frank was walking home he noticed Gerard's bedroom light on and the window open. Mikey's window was lit also, and from the street Frank could see Spongebob on his tv. That kid was never going to fucking grow up.

His father's car was parked on the road, and Frank spat on the window as he passed it. Hadn't he told that bitch to go home!? Persistant ass hole.

He went in through the garage and stopped when he got to the door. The back window was open and he could hear them arguing.

"...getting out of control!" his father's voice was loud and harsh. "First it was the tattoo, now did you see what he did to his hair!?"

"I think it's cute," his mother's voice now. "It's his right to express himself!"

"His grades are dropping! And did he tell you he has detention tomorrow!?"

"I'm aware"

"And you let him go out tonight!? Do you know what my father would have done to me!?"

"You're not going to lay a fucking hand on him!" Frank's mother yelled angrily.

"His friend was wearing skinny jeans, that's not natural! He wears earings, he's dying his hair... did you see that picture on facebook!? He was wearing makeup!"

"You used to be a rocker once,"

"Yeah, but I wasn't a fag!"

"Maybe he needs guidance from his FATHER!"

"He doesn't want me in his life! I can't get through to him!"

"Well if you would just shut up then and listen to what he has to say!"

"And how's that working for you!?"

"It's working perfectly, there's nothing wrong with OUR son!"

"You're fucking delusional, woman!"

"Darling, it's getting cold," a different woman's voice said. It must be the broad. "Could you please close the window?"

The window was slammed shut and Frank stood there in the darkness of the garage, shaking in anger. He didn't even know who his father was anymore. If he thought Frank was out of control now, oh just he wait. Frank paced angrily, his fists clenched at his sides. His eyes fell upon his old baseball bat leaning in the corner. He picked it up and weighed it in his hands.

If Frank had been thinking, although maybe he hadn't been, it wasn't radically. As he power walked down to the road he knew only one thing. He had to destroy something. What better to destroy than a nice, shiny new car? There were no other windows open in the house, it was a small house, few windows. So in the distanse between the house and the road, the people inside Frank's house couldn't hear the crunch of metal or the shattering of glass.

Gerard's window was open though, and his house was fairly close to the road. Curious, Gerard went to his window and looked out. There it was. Frank Iero beating the shit out of his father's car with a baseball bat. _Guess the date didn't go well,_ he thought.

Gerard ran down the stairs and out the front door as if his tail was on fire. Although he didn't have a tail, it was an interesting thought. It would have amused Mikey. He bolted across the street as fast as he could.

"Frank! What the hell are you doing!?" he yelled. Frank ignored him and beat in the back window of his father's car visciously. Gerard tackled his friend around the waste, which sent them both rolling into the grass. It wasn't much for grass though. Nobody in their neighborhood had 'grass,' they had dirt. So both boys crashed into the dirt. Frank threw a punch that hit Gerard right in the eye and it hurt, but Gerard managed to over power the smaller boy.

"Knock it off!" he yelled at Frank and pushed down Frank's arms. He sat stradeling Frank's stomach and had his arms pinned to the ground. Frank stopped, stunned by his friends tone, and stared up at Gerard. Gerard could see exactly how much hurt was swimming in Frank's eyes and understood immediately. Frank had finally cracked.

Gerard stood and pulled Frank to his feet. "Come on, man. Let's get out of here," Gerard kept a protective arm around Frank's shoulders and picked up the baseball bat. Both boys walked back over to Gerard's house in silence.


	23. Chapter 23

Elena sighed deeply. Her doctor had just left the room. That man was the most depressing person Elena had ever met in her entire life. She sat there feeling very numb, when a certain little woman wheeled herself slowly into Elena's room.

"Hello, Martha, you old bat," Elena greeted her. She didn't bother to put her hat on, even though she hated to let anyone see her bald. Martha didn't count. That woman was crazier than Edgar Allen Poe. She didn't care if Elena was bald and she wasn't right enough in the mind to judge her.

"Helena," Martha spoke softly. "I can't find Andrew,"

"Andrew is coming, don't worry," Elena said gently.

"Which way is it to the post office?" Martha asked, completely changing the subject.

"To the left, you moron," Elena chuckled.

"Thank you, Helen," Martha wheeled away slowly and Elena watched her go. Sad as it was, that woman was now her best friend. And she didn't even know her real name.

!

"Gerard?" Mikey asked quietly, peeking open the door to his older brother's room. Gerard held a finger to his lips and looked back at Frank to make sure he was still asleep. He quietly left his room to talk to Mikey.

"What's going on?" Mikey whispered.

"He's had a hard day," Gerard responded. "He can't go home. Just needed some place to crash."

"Won't Mom and Dad be mad if he's here when they get back?" Mikey asked. The Way parents were out for the weekend for their anniversary. They didn't like when the boys had people over unsupervised.

Gerard shook his head. "Nah, it's Frank."

"Is he going to be okay?" Mikey asked.

"He's not okay," Gerard confessed with a sigh. "He's in a lot of trouble right now,"

"How can we help him?" Mikey asked.

"He just needs someone to be there for him," Gerard said. "Someone who won't hate him,"

"Gerard, are you in love with Frank?" Mikey asked. _ Curse little brothers_, Gerard thought.

Gerard was silent for a long moment, thinking. "I don't know how to answer that question, Mikey," he confessed.

"Okay," Mikey understood what his brother meant entirely, so he didn't push him for more.

"It'll only get worse, if you're gay," Mikey told Gerard.

"I'm not gay, Mikey, no matter how many times Frank and I kiss," Gerard chuckled. "I like boobs,"

"Boobs are nice," Mikey said thoughtfully. They both giggled at that, but then didn't speak for a while after. Gerard rubbed his eyes and leaned back against the wall. He was freaking exhausted, but he wasn't ready for sleep.

"I'm going to go make some toast," Mikey declared. He turned and trotted down the stairs into the kitchen. Gerard groaned and forced himself to follow, knowing that without supervision Mikey was either going to electricute himself or burn the house down.

Gerard ended up passing out in the kitchen anyways, and Mikey managed to make toast without harming anything. He looked curiously over at his older brother, who was leaning on the table in such a way that he was going to fall off and hit his head on the floor. Mikey gently woke his brother up and dragged the half asleep Gerard into the living room. He then passed out on the couch and Mikey went back upstairs.

_Guess this means I get to borrow his xbox games,_ Mikey thought with a mischevious smile.

!

Ray hated being grounded. He sat in his room which he shared with his brother (brothers before Ed had gotten his own place) and stared at the wall. It was a tan color, possibly mauve or maybe just sand. Ray wondered if he could count the brush strokes it took to paint it. No, he wasn't that desperate.

You were supposed to think about what you'd done wrong when you're grounded. Well the more Ray thought about it, the more he smiled. He wasn't guilty at all. Kevin was just an asshole who deserved to get knocked on his ass once in a while. Ray's mother didn't agree though. She'd raised three boys and she knew how to take care of things. _Grounded_, Ray sighed. _Seventeen and grounded. It's like seventeen and pregnant but a bit more pathetic. _

It wouldn't have been so bad if he had his guitar, but his mom was too smart for that. _ Grrrr..._ Ray picked up a tennis racket off the floor and strummed at it as if it was a guitar. It helped him focus but didn't kill his boredum.

A police siren wailed outside the house and Ray ignored it. It was probably just another stoner over dosing in their front yard. It wouldn't be the first time. It wouldn't be the last.

There was shouting outside that Ray couldn't understand. If he listened closer he could tell that some of it was in spanish. It was very drunken, slurred spanish, but spanish nonetheless. More voices joined in and the argument came to a roar. Just like that it was over.

Car doors slammed and an engine revved to life. _That was quicker than usual,_ Ray thought with a sigh.

Suddenly the door was busted open and Ray's brother, Tito, rushed in.

"Ed just got arrested!" Tito exclaimed in a panic while Ray stared at him.

"What!?"

"Ed just got arrested!" Tito repeated. "He had weed on him, and was totally high of crack. They just took him away!"

"Do Mom and Dad know?" Ray demanded.

"Mom's furious and Dad just left. I don't know where he's going," Tito said. "God, I can't believe he got arrested. I never thought... I mean, everyone else, but not us..." Tito sat down on the edge of Ray's bed and dropped his head into his hands. Ray patted his back.

"Hey, Ed'll be fine. If he was that high then maybe he needs to go to jail," Ray said.

"I can't believe he'd do that though," Tito said.

"Ed's always been crazy, Titties," Ray chuckled.

"Don't call me that, Af-ray," Tito jabbed at his younger brother. The air was lightened until they heard there mother on the phone in the kitchen, yelling in spanish to someone- probably their grandmother. Their dog, Lucy, barked and ran around the house, clacking her toe nails on the hard wood floors. _ Clack, clack, clack_


	24. Chapter 24

Gerard stood in the bathroom and inspected his black eye in the mirror. Damn, Frank had hit him harder than he thought. Gerard had woken up on the couch that morning and had no idea how he'd gotten down there. The last thing he remembered was going downstairs to save Mikey from the toaster. Who knew, it had been a long night for everyone.

Mikey was still passed out in his room at eleven thirty and Gerard understood why when he realized all his xbox games were missing. His kid brother must have been up all night.

"Ouch," Gerard whimpered when he poked at his eye. He sighed and left the bathroom. It could be a lot worse, and knowing he'd gotten it from Frank instead of someone at school made it not as bad.

The black haired boy walked into his kitchen and pushed around in the freezer as he looked for an ice pack. He found a bag of frozen peas and figured they'd work well enough. His mom would want them defrosted for dinner anyways; the Ways were supposed to return from their escapade that evening.

Gerard walked into his front yard and out the window, which overlooked the street and Frank's house. Out in front of young Mr. Iero's house sat his father's trashed car, a baseball bat, and a cop car in their driveway. A police officer and Mr. Iero stood outside talking, probably about the car they were near. Gerard watched as the soon to be new Mrs. Iero walked out of the house and wrapped her arms around Mr. Iero. Gerard could also see Frank's mom watching from her own window. She waved and Gerard waved back bashfully, suddenly aware that he was still shirtless.

She'd called last night trying to find Frank, and Gerard reassured her of his safety. He hadn't told her what Frank had done to the car. He didn't plan on telling anyone.

!

Frank woke up sleeping in Gerard's bed with sunlight trying to blind him. He rolled off the bed and sat up on the floor. His face felt sticky and his eyes were stuck together. He stumbled to the bathroom. Sure enough his face was streaked and his eyes were red. God he was such a fucking baby. He remembered last night and wished he could forget. He wished he could forget everything.

Frank scrubbed at his face with a freezing cold wash cloth, making the whole thing red so his eyes didn't stand out so much. He didn't know why he bothered, Gerard had seen him crying last night. Gerard had been there for him. Gerard was ALWAYS there for him.

Frank felt guilty about that. Gerard was there for him and Frank had no way to repay him. Once again he was fucking worthless.

Frank walked down stairs and passed Mikey on his way down.

"Hey dude, you okay?" Mikey asked him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Frank responded, but Mikey gave him that look, with those damned eyes. Frank had seen that face before. Mikey was worried about him. For the kid's benefit he smiled. He knew Mikey didn't buy it, but Mikey smiled back anyways.

"Your dad's out there," Gerard said from his place at the window, and Frank walked over to him. At his side, Gerard gestured out the window and to the people across the road. He heard Frank sigh. "You gonna go over there?"

"I need to tell him what happened..." Frank decided. Gerard looked at him, surprised.

"You serious?" Gerard asked. Frank nodded.

"Want me to come with you?" Gerard offered. Frank didn't say anything. He didn't need any more favors. But it would be nice to have someone at his side.

Gerard, noticing his shorter friend staring down at his sneakers and not saying anything, muttered, "Let me go get a shirt on," before sprinting up the stairs. He returned moments later in a Metallica t-shirt.

"Ready?" he asked. Frank nodded and walked out the door. The boys were halfway across the street when Mikey popped out the front door. He stayed on the porch though. He obviously knew something was about to happen.

"Frank," Mr. Iero turned to his son as he walked up. "Where have you been all night?"

"I was at Gerard's house," Frank said, trying to muster up courage to speak to his father. He couldn't back down. This would be hard, cause Frank wasn't angry any more. His anger had been released on the car. Now he was just sad. "Didn't Mom tell you?"

"Your mother didn't tell me anything last night," Mr. Iero said. He stared momentarily at Gerard, and Gerard remembered what Frank had told him last night. Mr. Iero thought that Gerard was a fag, a freak; it made Gerard smile. He was suddenly glad he was in a tighter pair of his black jeans.

"Well I went to Gerard's house last night after I got back," Frank spat.

"How'd your date go?"

"It doesn't matter," Frank said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Was the car like this when you got home, sonny?" the police officer asked Frank.

"No, it was fine when I returned," Frank said. Technically it wasn't a lie.

"It isn't safe to park your car out at night on this side of town," the police officer told Mr. Iero. "Shit like this happens all the time,"

"Dad," Frank said suddenly. His father looked down at him. Sadly Frank hadn't inherited the gene for height. Despite that, he was nearly a spitting image of his father.

"Yes?"

"I need to tell you something," Frank said.

"What?" his father asked, a bit impatiently.

"That's my baseball bat..." Frank said, pointing to the baseball bat that sat in the dirt a few feet away from them. Older Frank Iero turned to look at the bat, along with the cop, who's name plate read officer Davis.

"And...?" Mr. Iero's voice was irritated and impatient. Frank gulped.

"I-I... did this... to the car..." Frank mumbled, barely audible. His father couldn't make out his words.

"You really need to speak more clearly Frank, I can't understand you," Mr. Iero scolded.

"I DID THIS TO THE CAR!" Frank repeated, this time yelling. Mr. Iero reacted by slapping his son across the face. Frank stumbled sideways and hit the car beside him. The officer didn't react past lightly holding back Mr. Iero's arm.

"FRANK!" Frank's mother burst out the front door and ran across the yard. She glared up at her ex husband. If looks could kill Mr. Iero would have been struck by lightning, stumbled out into the street, gotten hit by a bus and eaten by dogs. Unfortunately...

"Get off my property, Frank," Frank's mother demanded her ex husband. He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Did you hear what your son just told me, Linda?" he asked, pointing a finger at his son, who was now standing beside his mother.

"I don't care, Frank. Get out of here. You are no longer welcome," Linda spat the words out at him, looking a lot bigger than the petite woman she was. Someone had threatened Mama Bear's cubs and she was ready to kill them.

"How am I supposed to drive home in this!?" he demanded. "He needs to be taught a lesson!" he pointed a finger at Frank, who glared back at him menacingly. _Bring it on!_ Frank's face read.

"The windshield's not destroyed all over," Gerard noted, and immediately side stepped away from Mr. Iero, who turned to glare at him.

"You shut up and get out of here," Mr. Iero demanded. Gerard backed up to stand next to Frank.

"Technically it's safe to drive, once you get the glass off the front seat," Officer Davis said. "You didn't mess with the engine, did you?" he asked Frank, who shook his head.

"You don't still want to press charges, do you? Considering..." the officer's sentence dropped off. Frank senior looked over his son with disappointed and hurt eyes. It nearly broke Frank's heart, and it would of if he wasn't so defiant. _He deserves it,_ Frank told himself.

"No," Mr. Iero finally said. "Forget we called you here," Mr. Iero shook the man's hand then turned to his ex wife. "I'll go collect Carla, and then we'll be out of your hair,"

Linda nodded and wrapped an arm around her son's shoulders.

Once Mr. Iero inside the officer turned to Frank.

"Consider yourself lucky," he said. "My father would have let me have it for something like this. Some men around here would press charges. He must really care about you,"

Frank didn't say anything, he just stared down at his sneakers. Maybe looking guilty would make the lecture be over faster. He heard the officer sigh.

"Have a good day, ma'am," he said, shaking Linda's hand and walking back to his squad car. He drove away.

"Gerard, why don't you head home, Honey," Frank's mother said to her 'adopted son.'

"Can I come back over later?" Gerard asked.

"Your parents still out?"

"Yeah,"

"Alright, see you in an hour," she smiled at him and he thanked her before running back across the street.

"Come on, Franky. Let's talk," Linda said kindly, leading her son back to the house.

Mr. Iero and the prostitute walked out the front door as Frank and his mother reached it. Mr. Iero didn't say anything to his son or ex wife.

"Thank you for letting us stay the night, Linda," the prostitute said kindly, and Frank's mom smiled in return. Moments later they were in the car and down the street.

!

Ray sat at school and stared blankly at the clock at the front of the room. This sucked, school on a Saturday. Ray wondered where Frank was and wanted to text him, but decided not to risk it. There were teachers pacing the room making sure nobody misbehaved. Ray sat there completely still, hardly breathing, wishing for euthanasia over this. Eu-than-asia, aka Mercy Killing. In an English debate Ray had been against euthanasia, but this Saturday school stuff had opened his eyes. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea.

Where the hell was Franky!? He couldn't just ditch Saturday school, he had to know that. He'd get himself suspended!

Ray wondered how his brother was doing. Was Ed still in jail? Ray didn't know how long they'd keep him there, but he knew his parents weren't posting bail. One, they didn't have the money. Two, his parents were old school. If you got sent to jail you were staying there.

Certainly Ed deserved it, but still, they were brothers. It's only right to worry about your brother when he's in the slammer.

Ray slumped back in his seat and fiddled with his school tie, which suddenly felt too tight. His jacket felt too hot so he slipped it off. It was inhumane, not only having to be at school on Saturday but having to wear the uniform. Cruel and unusual punishment.

Ray smirked. Maybe he deserved it for taking down that jock, but he'd do it again in an instant. Only problem was that now he was a target. Just like Frank and Gerard. Ray wasn't usually picked on. For one he was taller than most of the jocks except the basketball players. Also he never really did much to piss them off. Ray was quiet at school, that kid in the back who basically ignored everybody.

Now he was the kid who'd attacked the quaterback. Oops. Cover blown.

_Totally worth it, _he thought. _Totally freaking worth it._


	25. Chapter 25

"Alright, Frankie, talk to me," Linda said as she led her son into the house and had him sit down on the couch. He sat and she sat down right next to him.

"I-I don't know what to say," Frank spoke, obviously trying to swallow a lump in his throat.

"Did it go horribly at Jamia's?" she asked, and Frank burst into tears again. He buried his head in his arms and tried to stop crying like a fucking baby. He couldn't stop. Linda rubbed her son's back comfortingly. "Hmm," she said. "That bad?"

"Y-you have no idea," Frank bawled.

"Shhh, tell me what happened," her voice was soft and kind.

"Her dad... he hates me. All because of the kiss..." Frank stuttered out.

"What kiss?" Linda asked her son.

"Gerard and I... at the youth event..." Frank sobbed, sick of keeping the secret. "I-I don't know why we did it... but everybody saw us..."

"Ah," Linda sighed. "I see,"

"Jamia was really..."

"Put off?"

Frank nodded.

"Well, it's not like I didn't see her kiss you a bit passionately before," Linda said.

"But it's not even like that with Gerard," Frank wiped his eyes on his sleeves. "...we're not gay... everyone thinks we are..."

"Who cares what they think?" she asked.

"Jamia doesn't like me anymore..." Frank said. "I think I really hurt her, Mom...!"

"Time will tell, honey," Linda soothed. "She'll see how crazy she is about you,"

"That sounds like bull shit," Frank cried.

His mom chuckled. "You're right. What else is going on with you?" she asked.

"I got detention..." Frank said.

"Not the first time," Linda sighed. "Not the last,"

"But I didn't even do anything this time!" he protested.

"What happened?" Linda asked. Frank shut his mouth. He wasn't ready to admit how bad it was really getting at school. When a group of kids had beat Frank and Gerard up in seventh grade she'd marched down to the school and gotten in an argument with the principal. Frank didn't want Mommy coming to the rescue, he was sixteen years old for Pete's sake! _Who the hell is Pete?_

"We got in an argument," Frank said. "He was calling me gay and stuff,"

"It doesn't matter what other people think, Frank," Linda said. "Are you gay, baby?"

"No!" Frank spat in disbelief.

Linda smiled warmly. "Then that's all that matters. Even if you were gay, fuck those people,"

"Okay,"

"What about the car?" Frank's mother asked.

"I-I don't even know..." Frank sighed, leaning back. "I g-guess everything that's been going on... it just added up... I g-got in an argument with Jamia's dad... all the crap at school... and then I got home and heard Dad talking..."

"You heard him?"

"Yeah,"

"He's full of hot air," Linda sneered. Frank laughed through his tears. "I want to show you something," she got up from the couch and walked across the small room to a book shelf. She pulled off an old, dusty photo album and blew the dust away.

"Mom, I don't want to look at pictures of you from the eighties," Frank groaned, throwing himself over on the couch.

"This is not a trip down memory lane," she said, swatting her son.

"Ow!"

"Sit up, I want to show you something,"

Frank sat up and leaned his head on his mother's shoulder, looking at the dull pages of the photo album in front of him. She turned a few pages past pictures from birthdays and family gatherings to a page with a bunch of news paper clippings.

"You remember when your father used to take you to clubs?" Linda asked. "When you were really little?"

"Yeah, I remember," Frank sighed.

"He was mild back then," she chuckled. She pulled out a certain photograph that was in color. It showed Frank Iero Senior up on stage with a drum set. His hair was spiked straight up and dyed bleach blonde with red at the tips. He wore a skin tight leather vest and was holding pink drumsticks high in the air. Stage makeup decorated his face and his ears were filled with multiple earings.

Frank gasped, holding in laughter. "Oh my God," he giggled. "This was DAD!?"

"This is the man I fell in love with," Linda sighed, staring at the photograph that was now in her son's hand.

"What's happened to him?"

"He's trying to grow up,"

"Why?" Frank gawked.

"Some people do, Frank. But he's seemed to forget who he used to be,"

"That really sucks,"

"There's a difference between growing up and being responsible," Linda said. Frank looked at her. "He used to be wild, very wild. He loved to stay out all night partying and sometimes we'd wake up in random people's basements after parties in other people's clothes. That stuff can happen. But the day you were born, Frank, it changed his life.

"He suddenly had someone to look after, and he had a family to take care of. Even after we split up he still found a way to support us. He used to go visit you in the hospital and take you places. That's when he became responsible. Now that he's met Carla, I think that he doesn't want to be a kid anymore,"

"That doesn't mean he has to change," Frank sighed sadly.

"It's his life. It's up to him to make his choices. Just like you need to make your choices, Frank," Linda said. "You need to get your grades up,"

"Okay,"

"I'm serious, Frank. No more slacking off. I won't let you play in the band if you don't get your grades up," Linda grabbed her son's chin and forced him to look into her eyes.

"Okay, I'll fix them," he agreed. "I promise,"

"And don't worry about, Gerard, honey," she said. "You two will figure everything out eventually. This world is getting weird where two boys can't be best friends without being called gay. Remember when you two used to walk around everywhere holding hands when you were in elementary school?"

"Yeah," Frank smiled. "What about Jamia?"

"It just takes time," Frank's mother said, draping an arm around his shoulders. "It's hard to wait, but everything gets sorted out in the end,"

"Are you still waiting for your prince charming, Mom?" Frank teased.

"I already met him," she said. "About fifteen years ago playing drums at a bar and wearing leather pants. I knew him once, and that was enough."


	26. Chapter 26

"Oh, hello Jerry," the nurse at the front counter greeted Gerard. He rolled his eyes.

"It's Gerard," he said.

"Who's your friend?"

"This is Frank Iero," Gerard said, even though the nurse had quit paying attention and hadn't heard the answer to the question. Her back was turned and she was talking to a nurse behind the counter.

"Come on," Gerard sighed and led the way to his grandmother's room.

"This place is sad, man," Frank said halfway there with a shudder.

"Yeah, it really is,"

Gerard was once again stopped in the hallway by a little old lady in a wheel chair. Martha moved a crooked finger and Gerard crouched down by her side. She ran a hand across his face and studied it.

"Andrew, you've brusied yourself," she muttered with a displeased frown on his face. She was referring to the black eye Frank had given him that previous Friday. It was now turning a purplish yellow color and would fade away soon.

"I'm alright," Gerard spoke softly. "I got in a small accident. How is my flower doing?"

"Andrew you tease," Martha giggled. "Which way is it to the post office? I'm late to work, I tell you Jenkins wasn't pleased with those turkeys last week, nothing but trouble... the whole place smelled like grapes..." She spoke complete nonsense, and it left Frank confused. Gerard only pretended to know what she was talking about.

"The post office is down this hall and then to the left," Gerard told her, standing up slowly and leaning in next to her. "Have a good day, Martha," he said, kissing her hand. Martha smiled and slowly padded away. Gerard and Frank stood in silence and watched her go.

"What was that?" the shorter friend asked.

"She thinks we're engaged,"Gerard said. "Dimensia, really bad,"

"Oh,"

Suddenly Gerard and Frank heard yelling from down the hall. It sounded like it was coming from the last room, and Gerard could make out his grandmother's voice.

"Come on!" he took off down the hallway and Franky followed him. They stopped outside her door when they heard the shattering of glass and a doctor fled the room.

"Back up, please!" he called down the hallway. When he wasn't looking Gerard and Frank slipped in.

On the floor across from Elena's bed was broken glass, a puddle of water, and a few stray flowers- roses. On the bed itself was Elena, buried under blankets and supported by pillows. She had her knees propped up awkwardly and was resting her bony elbows on them. Her head was buried in her arms as she sobbed.

"Grandma," Gerard rushed to her side and knelt beside her bed. "Grandma, what's wrong?" he asked. She tried swatting him away, but he ducked her hand and stayed at her side. He took one of her small, fragile hands in his own soft, pale on. He ran his thumb soothingly over her fingers.

Frank stood back by the door with his hands behind his back. He felt nervous and awkward in his situation. He hadn't seen Elena for months, and never in the nursing home. He'd seen her last at her house in the March of sophmore year. He couldn't remember why they'd been there, but he didn't recognize the woman in front of him now.

She was small and frail, unlike the sturdy little woman that had existed months prior. Her cottony white hair had been replaced by stray feather like strands. She was nearly bald. Her pudgy, rosey cheeks and twinkling eyes weren't there either. Her face was gaunt and her eyes were sad. Very very sad.

Elena wouldn't speak, just sobbed, but she didn't try to push away her grandson anymore.

"Grandma, talk to me," he pleaded. "Let me in, Elena. Come on, I want to help you,"

A few nurses rushed past Frank into the room and short of pushed Gerard to the side. They quickly hooked Elena up to an iv, and she started screaming. Gerard stood there, frozen in horror as they injected something. Suddenly his grandmother went completely still and silent. The doctor stood over to the side by Frank, but the two did not speak.

"What did you do to her!?" Gerard demanded of the nurses. "What the hell did you do!?"

"Calm down," a male nurse said sternly. "It's simply a numbing medication to make her calm down. We can't have her freaking out like that, it's not healthy,"

"Why not!?" Gerard demanded. His grandmother had been known to get overly angry and worked up her entire life. "What's wrong with her!?"

Gerard was pushed out of the room by the nurses, but he stayed pacing outside her door in the hallway. Frank stood against a wall studying his friend nervously. The door opened and the doctor from before came out and closed the door gently behind him. Gerard confronted the physician.

"What the hell is wrong with her!?" he demanded, nearly backing the doctor back into the door. "That is not the woman I know! What is going on!?" The older man looked taken aback by Gerard's tone with him, but then composed himself and spoke gently.

"Who are you?"

"Her grandson,"

"Ah, I see. She's deep into stage five of the cancer," the doctor said. "The tumors are growing and will soon invade her medulla oblongata..."

"English," Gerard said. "Speak fucking english,"

"The tumors are reaching her brain stem, the area that controls her breathing and heart rate. If her heart rate gets too high it could be very bad and cause things to progress faster. We need to keep her calm," the doctor explained in simpler terms.

"You're the one who got her worked up in the first place," Gerard nearly growled. "What did you do to her?"

"I was talking with her about her options at this stage,"

"Which are?"

"Slim,"

Gerard cursed quietly and his hands clenched into fists. Frank appeared at his side and took one of Gerard's hands in his own gloved hand, making the fist unclench. It helped, if only a little. _Remember when you were in elementary school, and you used to walk around everywhere holding hands? _his mother's words came back to him. _There's nothing gay about Gerard and I,_ Frank told himself._ We're best friends, that's it._

"I'm sorry," the doctor said.

"How long does she have?" Gerard asked.

"It's unsure," the doctor lied.

"Bull shit,"

"You sure know how to curse, for a kid," the doctor gave an amused grin and tried to change the subject.

"How long does she have!?" the teenager demanded, bringing the conversation back to focus. "I need to know,"

"A month, at the most," the older man sighed. Gerard's heart stopped momentarily. _A month!? A fucking month!?_ Gerard thought to himself. A lump made itself noticable in his throat and he couldn't swallow it down. Frank felt Gerard's grip tighten, and he squeezed back reassuringly. He didn't know what it meant, but he hoped it meant something.

"I have to see her," Gerard said.

"Right now she's asleep, and I don't think the nurses will let you in," the doctor said.

"I'll come back every day to see her. Every single day. I need to get Mikey over here," Gerard was talking to himself now. The doctor placed a comforting hand on Gerard's shoulder and shook it gently before walking away with his hands in his pockets. Frank held onto Gerard's hand, and neither of the boys moved. Gerard stared down at the linoleum as if trying to count the specks in the squares. His eyes were wide and his mouth was set in a straight line.

_A month,_ he thought. _A freaking month! _He wished he didn't know. God how he wished he didn't know the answer to that question.

"Come on, Gee," Frank said softly, pulling at Gerard. Gerard obeyed Frank without really thinking and let Frank lead him out of the nursing home. They passed Martha on their way, and she smiled up at Frank and Gerard. Out by the car Frank let Gerard climb into the passenger seat and he took the driver's seat. He had to move the seat up quite a bit to reach the pedels, and he didn't technically have his license, but he figured it would be safer for him to drive.

They didn't talk the whole ride back to their houses.

"Why don't you come in?" Frank offered as he pulled into his driveway. "We can watch hellboy,"

"Really?" Gerard asked quietly. He knew Frank didn't really like Hellboy. Frank would rather watch Batman than Hellboy.

"Yeah," Frank smiled. "Really,"

"Thanks man," Gerard smiled a tiny little smile and the two boys walked into Frank's house. They watched both movies and turned on the animated series afterward. It didn't take long for them to get lost in a different world than their own and they loved it. Oh the comforts you can get from a screen. Soon though, Gerard realized it was getting late and it was almost dinner. He texted his mom telling her he was spending the night at Frank's, even though it was a school night.

Somewhere along the way of the tv show Frank and Gerard passed out on the couches in the living room. Linda got home from her job as a bar tender at eleven and smiled down at her sleeping boys. She turned off the blaring tv and put blankets over both of them.

"Goodnight, angels," she whispered, kissing them both on their foreheads.


	27. Chapter 27

Ray walked into the courthouse with his brother. They both wore leather jackets despite the unseasonable heat. Hopes were that it made them look tougher. They didn't exactly want to get mugged. It worked well enough. Between their height and their leather they looked pretty bad ass.

They passed through security at the door of the courthouse and approached the front desk.

"How may I help you?" a lady asked before turning around. When she saw them she flinched back.

"We're here to see our brother, Ed Toro," Ray said as he mopped sweat from his forehead with his tee shirt. It was waaay too hot out for September. He removed his jacket and wished his thick hair wasn't heating the back of his neck.

After a few procedures they let the boys into a small room and then lead Ed in. Tito embraced his older brother in a bear hug.

"Dude, you reak!" Ed declared, hugging his brother back.

"It's 90 degrees out there, you're missing the heat wave," Tito responded.

"How are Mom and Dad?" Ed asked.

"Moody as all get out," Ray chuckled. Ed sighed.

"I'm sorry guys," Ed breathed out.

"When are you free?" Tito asked eagerly.

"After court I guess, if they decide to release me,"

"How much did you have?" Ray asked.

"Too much," Ed said as he ran a hand through his hair. "I have a problem. I think I'm addicted..."

"You can't get addicted from one time," Ray said light heartedly. Both of his brothers looked guilty. Tito stared down at his shoes as if trying to count the stitches but Ed stared directly into Ray's eyes.

"What?" Ray asked suspiciously.

"It wasn't my first time..." Ed sighed.

"Huh?"

"I've been doing crack cocaine since I was seventeen," Ed said. Ray's mouth dropped open as he stared at his brothers. He'd been doing it for three years!?

"Did you know about this?" he demanded Tito. Tito didn't answer him though.

"I got him to do it once," Ed confessed. "But he was smart, he didn't keep doing it. Once I get out of this place I'm done. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm going to go to college and I'm going to make something of myself. I don't want to let you guys down any farther,"

Ray stared at his brother, unsure of what to say. "That's good I guess,"

"Ray, you better not ever start drugs," Ed warned. "I'm serious."

"Don't worry Ed," Ray said with a bit of bitterness in his voice. "I'm not willing to throw away my future or hurt my loved ones like that, just for a high. I'm better than that," Ray walked across the room and knocked on the metal door as a signal to be let out.

"What? You're mad at me!?" Ed shouted, hurt. "At least I'm going to try to fix things, Ray! I'm going to try!"

"When you get clean," Ray said. "Then we'll talk."

The door opened and Ray left with his older brother yelling at his back. Outside the courthouse he leaned back against the brick wall and sighed.

!

"Leave now before I kill you," Elena said as the door to her room opened. She was sick and tired of nurses and doctors and psychiatrists and kind people with weak smiles. She would beat them to death with her IV stand if she had to. Couldn't they let her die in peace?

She was surprised when her youngest grandson poked his head into the room. He wore a grey beanie over his hair and square glasses over his eyes, like always.

"Hey Grandma," he said with a wide smile that brightened the room.

"Mikey, Hello," she smiled.

"I'm warning you now, Aunt Marie is right down the hall," Mikey said just as Gerard popped into the room.

"Hey, Grandma,"

"Why is it young people never say hello anymore?" Elena asked. "Always just hey. Hey hey hey."

"Hello Grandmother," the boys echoed in unison. In response she gave them stink eye and stuck out her tongue, which left them giggling.

"Mama!" Aunt Marie cheered as she rushed into the room. Her curly brown hair was thrown up in a bandana and she wore loose jeans and a green hoodie. She was not thin, but she was not particularly fat either. _Pudgey, _Elenda decided. She didn't especially like her daughter but she like her much more than her son, who was a heartless, back stabbing, stick in the mud. In the war against his father, Elena claimed Gerard's side.

"We tried to convince Don to come, but he was busy," Aunt Marie said.

"Mhm,"

"How are you feeling, Mama?" Aunt Marie asked.

"Shitty,"

"Mama, don't be that way!" Aunt Marie whined.

"Gerard, what have you got for me today?" Elena asked her grandson, who smiled and walked over to her said with a notebook.

"What's this?" Aunt Marie asked, looking curiously at the notebook upside down from her seat on the edge of Elena's bed.

"Grandma Elena reads all the songs I write," Gerard said bashfully. "Let's me know it they're worth anything,"

"Oh Gerard, you've always been so creative," Aunt Marie cooed, pinching her nephew's cheek.

"Ouch,"

"When nobody was paying any attention Elena slipped an envelope sneakily out from under her blankets. She tucked it carefully into the back pages and turned to a different page with a song she'd been loking at.

"Sometimes you worry me, baby," she said, glaring down at the paye.

"Which one?" Gerard asked.

"I'm not okay. I'm not okay. Well I'm not okay. I'm not o-fucking-kay," Elena read, raising an eyebrow. Aunt Marie let out a tiny gasp.

"Frank helped me write that one," Gerard said.

"Before or after he beat his dad's car with a baseball bat?" Mikey asked, causing Aunt Marie's eyebrows to raise to her hairline.

"After," Gerard said as if it was no big deal. "It's kind of about school and parents, and kind of about Mary and Jamia and kind of about some other stuff," Gerard said. "It's like a feel good song," Gerard smiled.

Elena gave a small 'hm' noise, but Gerard knew she understood. Mikey started giggling.

"Alright boys," Aunt Maire said clapping her hands on her knees and standing. "Get around your grandmother, I want a picture," Aunt Marie pulled out her camera.

With Gerard leaning down on the left and Mikey kneeling on the right Aunt Marie started giving directions.

"No, Mama, don't flip off the camera. Gerard smile. No, smile. Bigger. Thank you! And Mikey, get your damn hair out of your eyes and uncross them. Good. Count of three. One, two... Mikey put those fingers down! One, two, three," *Flash*

Elena felt her heart rate pick up and momentarily forgot where she was or how to breathe. She grasped onto Gerard's hand and he stared at her, scared.

"Grandma?" he asked, noticing the paleness of her face and how her eyes had started watering. How her chest was heaving. His voice brought her back and she took a rhaspy breath.

"I'm okay," she said right before a coughing fit. Blood came up in her hand and Gerard stared wide eyed. _One month, _his heart dropped. He didn't think about how her condition would be during the month._ I have one month._

The heart monitor next to the bed started beeping and a nurse rushed in.

"She needs her rest," she said as she fiddled with the IV.

"Are you okay, Grandma?" Mikey asked with concern written all over his face.

She coughed again and gasped, squeezing her eyes shut. "I'm fine," she wheezed. "Headache,"

"Say goodbye, boys. It's time we get you back home," Aunt Marie directed.

Mikey kissed his grandmother goodbye. Gerard gave her a hug and held her frail body in his arms. _30 days,_ he told himself. He was living on that number.

"I love you, Grandma," he said.

"I love you too, baby," she whispered back weakly. "Gig tonight, right?"

"Yup,"

"Give em hell, kid," Elena smiled before falling into another coughing fit. Gerard grabbed his binder and they departed.


	28. Chapter 28

"Good evening Waterford! Are you ready to rock!?"

"Yeah! Woot!"

"We are the DeathKids!"

The bass was too heavy and the drummer was off rhythm. Their lead guitarist wasn't far above ordinary, but if their frontman could sing they wouldn't have been completely horrible. Unfortunate for them.

Frank was hustling the bartender trying to get a drink without an id. They were too young to be in the bar in the first place and Frank was a few words from being kicked out. But it was Free Rock Friday, where baby bands could reserve a spot and play for half an hour in the crowded little bar.

"Franky, leave em alone," Ray shouted over the crowd as he pulled his friend away from the fuming man.

"21 or get out! I'm not serving you kids booze!..." Ray pulled Frank to the back hallway that lead to the greasey, out of service kitchen, and the greasier, slightly in service bathrooms. The hallway had been claimed by the boys, who felt too nervous and claustrophobic mixed in with the smokey crowd. Mikey sat on the filthy stained carpet of the hallway with his long legs stretched out. He'd finally started growing and was shooting up like a colt. Soon he'd surpass his brother in height.

Gerard was shaking and sweating. Stage fright was so bad for him that he could barely function. Frank had already drugged him, but the ADHD medication wasn't working well. If Gerard could only get some alcohol, lose his senses, he'd be okay.

"Why are we here again?" Gerard groaned. The way his arms were folded and his shoulders were hunched he looked like he was trying to roll himself into nothing and blend in with the wall. It wasn't working.

"Because my whole life my best friend has been saying that we should start a band and we did and we're awesome and now we need publicity so we're here to play in a ratty little bar with other new rock bands that suck and we all love rock n roll," Frank spewed out a marvelous run on sentence through his aggravation from lack of underage drinking.

"Gee, you have nothing to worry about. You're a fucking rockstar!" Mikey declared from his seat on the floor. He was far less nervous about performing than the first time. In fact, he was an eager little beaver to get started. He was, however; slightly concerned as to what the stains on the carpet could be identified as. Mikey figured he didn't want to know the answers and did his best to ignore it.

There was an inherit lack of Bob and the band was beginning to get worreid. Frank disappeared for a while too, but his was less noticed until he returned with a bottle of vodka.

"How the hell did you get that!?" Ray demanded, sounding like a perturbed parent dealing with their disobedient toddler. He had literally been babysitting Frank all night.

Frank smiled cheekily, "Sticky fingers," he said as he waggled his fingers in front of Rays face.

"You," Gerard said from his seat on the icky floor next to Mikey. He pointed at Frank. "Sit," he commanded, pointing at the floor next to him.

"Yes master! Whatever you wish, master!" Frank said dramatically as he plopped down on his butt next to Gerard. "Please don't beat me master! I'll do as you say, master!"

"Shut up," Gerard grabbed the bottle and took a hearty chug. He sputtered a bit, not used to drinking vodka at all. Beer, yes. Wine, yes. Vodka, not so much.

"Dudes!" Bob burst into the doorway of the hall with a drunken smile on his face. "I just made out with Lindsey Lohan!"

"What the fuck is Lindsey Lohan doing in a sleezy New Jersey bar?" Ray laughed, pushing Bob playfully. The two broke into a mock fight, punching and kicking each other lightly.

A girl showed up in the hallway mouth and stared at the spectical in front of her. She wasn't much older than them and was thus too young to be in the bar. She was slightly taller than Frank, around 5'6". In her black gloved hand she held a red solo cup. The girl was clothed in a black Green Day hoodie with loose fitting blue jeans cuffed at the bottom to reveal combat boots. Her brown hair was thrown up in a messy ponytail. The girl looked completely at home. Gerard recognized her from school and struggled to recall her name. She was the girl who'd made him wear cake. The black hair boy glared up at her and she smiled at him.

"Aren't you a bit young to drink?" she asked.

"What about you?" he challenged, not standing. "What's your poison?"

"Coca Cola," she said.

Mikey released a squeal of laughter and Gerard rolled his eyes. "Hard core, Lindsey," Bob commented in a teasing tone that suggested they were friends. Gerard hadn't thought about Bob having other friends at school. Most of them only had each other.

"You guys call yourselves My Chemical Romance, right?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back against a dirty, peeling wall.

"Yeah,"

"You're up next,"

Gerard's heart started racing and he suddenly got very pale, even for him. He grabbed the vodka, his own hands over Frank's who hadn't let go, and gulped.

"Hey man!" Frank pulled it back and some spilled on them. Frank cursed, hoping his mom wouldn't smell it when she did laundry.

"Oh, porr wittle Gee got stage fright?" Lindsey teased.

"Shut up bitch," Gerard spat as he rose to his feet. "And only my friends call me Gee."

Ray imediately apologized for his friend. "I'm sorry, he's just nervous. And we sorta drugged him. He's not always this..."

"Nah, doll face," Lindsey interrupted. She patted Rays cheek lightly to shut him up. "He's just a diva,"

"Am not!" Gerard demanded.

"Have fun, princess," she winked at them as she walked away. All the boys watched her go, and Gerard stuck his tongue out at her back like a five year old boy.

!

"Hey guys! Dudes! Wait up!" a young man called as he pushed through the crowd that was surging around the bar. Geard and Ray turned to face him.

"Go ahead out guys," Gerard told the rest. They shrugged and pushed out the front door to load up the car, except for Frank who pushed back and stood next to Gerard.

"Whatsup?" Gerard asked loudly.

"Yo guaze god blah teekee?" Is what they heard through the roar of the bar.

"What!?" Gerard shouted.

"Demo!" the man yelled. "You guys got a cd!?"

"No, we don't," Frank answered in the loudest voice he could muster.

"Bummer. You guys need to get with a record company. You got something here!"

"Thank you!" Gerard yelled.

"Hah doll erg apple?"

"What!?"

The young man huffed a sigh and motioned for Frank and Gerard to follow him outside. Once out in the quiet night they could speak normally, although all three were slightly deaf from the noise they'd just come from.

"How old are ya'll?" the man asked them.

"Most of us are seventeenish," Gerard answered. "That bassist is 14,"

"You guys have a lot of talent for kids. A lot of passion too. Keep it up guys," the man said. "What's your names again?"

"Frank and Gerard," Frank answered. "The band is My Chemical Romance,"

"My Chemical Romance..." the man smirked. "I'll put in a word for you if I get the chance," He clapped Gerard on the back and ran back to the bar.

"That was interesting," Frank commented.

"Yeah,"

Behind them a car horn sounded making them both jump. "Come on, princesses!" Mikey yelled, hanging out the back window.

"What took you guys so long?" Bob asked as they jumped into the back seat. "Making out or something?" he teased.

"Funny," Frank rolled his eyes. Gerard kicked the back of Bob's seat.

"Some guy wanted our cd," Gee answered.

Ray looked back confused. "We don't have a cd," he said.

"Yeah, I know. He thinks we're good though," Gerard shrugged.

"Congrats, guys," Bob said. "We have a fan!" this was followed by much cheering, yelling, and horse play, along with Ray telling them to shut up before they got in an accident. Poor little Ray, the nervous driver.

"Next time we let me drive," Gerard said.

"NO!" everyone yelled in unison. Gerard slumped down in his seat and crossed his arms, pouting. Frank laughed and draped and arm around his friend, while Mikey leaned against his shoulder- exhausted.

!

Later that night all the boys lay passed out in the Way's basement on various couches/beanbag chairs/ or just the floor. Frank and Gerard shared a couch, stretched out in opposite directions which lead to them constantly kicking each other in the face as they slept.

Ray claimed the floor in front of the tv with his head propped up on his guitar case and a pillow, his guitar cradled on his lap, and his hand down his pants. He snored softly.

Bob had dug out a bean bag chair and managed to sleep half on it, half on the floor. Mikey was stretched out on the other couch with whipped cream on his face, a princess tiara on his head, and a unicorn plushie in his arms. (The plushie was his own doing.) He'd fallen asleep first, and his friends were mean.

How they all managed to sleep so soundly with South Park blaring over the TV was a mystery. ("Oh God, we killed Kenny!") But then again, most of what teenagers do is misunderstood.

Before they passed out they were talking about the guy rom earlier. They agreed that they needed to make a demo and planned to record a song the next morning in Frank's basement with some ghetto, old equipment. They were all very excited. Especially the youngest boy, Mikey, who had something up his sleeve.


	29. Chapter 29

Mikey approached Peter, rather bravely, as he was talking to a group of Junior/Senior jocks and preps. They had hung out a couple times at Mikey's house, but they didn't talk in school much after the lunch incident. They both knew their places. As Mikey walked up the the crowd he noticed a few glares and questioning glances. He ignored them and addressed Peter directly.

"Peter, can I talk to you for a moment please?" Mikey asked. Peter gave a humored smile as he glanced back at his friends.

"Sure, okay," he said and followed Mikey away from the crowd, who stayed silent and staring. Mikey could feel their eyes on the back of his head.

"I need a favor," Mikey said.

"Shoot,"

"How do I get a school key?" Mikey asked. Peter said a four letter word and ran a hand through his perfect hair.

"Why do you need it, kid?"

"I can't tell you,"

"Come on, Mikey. I can't just..."

"Peter, I need you to trust me. That's what friends do, right?" mikey stared up at Peter with big eyes._ Damn this kid,_ Peter thought.

"Yeah, you're right. I can get you ne I guess, but this will be a bit tricky. You might get in trouble,"

"Worth it,"

The plan was for Peter to snatch his father's, the basketball coach's, school key. Mikey would have to leave school to get it copied and return by the end of the day so Peter's dad wouldn't find out. Mikey would probably get in trouble for ditching, but he didn't care.

The freshman thanked Peter and agreed to meet him at his locker after second hour, when Peter would have the key. He then sort of skipped off down the hall and Peter shook his head as he watched the younger boy leave. He returned to his friends, who snickered at him.

"You babysit that kid or something?" a girl, Cindy (Peter's flavor of the month) asked.

"Isn't that Gay Way's little brother?" Jonathan asked.

"He thinks we're friends because I was nice to him before," Peter explained with a roll of his eyes. "It's pathetic," _Lie Lie Lie_

"You better not be going soft, Pete," Kevin warned.

"Yeah, that kid isn't anything. You can't let him think he's friends with you," Cindy said as she flipped her blonde hair.

"You jealous, Cindy?" Peter teased his girlfriend. It was easier than standing up for Mikey. "You think he's going to steal me away?"

"Wait, is he gay?" Jonathan blurted out as Peter kissed Cindy.

"He might as well be," Cindy sneered as they pulled apart. "His brother's a fag, right?"

Peer pressure is a bitch. Peter didn't especially want to talk bad about Mikey. He didn't have any jiffs with him. But what choice did he have with his friends?

"He didn't deny it," Peter shrugged.

"Must be genetics," Kevin laughed. "What if they did stuff with each other? Since they're both gay..."

"Okay, ew," Jonathan wrinkled his nose. Kevina always took it too far.

"You're straight, Kevin. Are you telling me that you fuck your sister on the weekends?" Peter asked.

"No, but they're homos. They're different,"_ Very, very different. It was sickening,_ Kevin thought.

!

Ray was distracted as he walked through the hallways. He was having a bad day already. His brother had been released from jail the day before and Ray had found out on Sunday when he'd returned home from Frank's house. The gig had been on Saturday. At home he'd gotten chewed out by his parents for how long he'd been out. It was now Monday and Ray and Ed hadn't spoken a word since Ray had seen his brother in jail. Well, Ed had tried, but Ray could be a stubborn son of a gun. He didn't know why, but he couldn't force himself to talk to him.

How the hell could he have done drugs for three freaking years!? Ed was Ray's freaking role model. He'd been there for him through Ray's childhood. He'd introduced him to Metallica. He'd taught Ray how to sneak out their window using the fire escape. Ed had shown Ray the basics of how to play guitar.

_Maybe I'm too old for a role model,_ Ray sighed. He didn't need Ed to set an example anymore, but he sure missed it. It just felt like he didn't know who to trust anymore.

Ray was so distracted that he wandered into the wrong classroom, and then wandered out again. He roamed the hallway like a zombie. The logical part of him told him to get to class before he got a tardy and his parents got pissed again. The currently dominant part of Ray kept walking. He came to a stair well and was half way down when a push from behind sent him flying. Ray landed on the carpeted floor of the hallway below on his hands and knees and heard a chorus of laughter.

Ray simply picked himself up, despite the aching in his hands and knees, brushed himself off, and kept walking. The laughter faded, and Ray was sure he'd left them confused.

!

Gerard loved almost every moment he spent with his best friend. He couldn't help himself when he felt his thoughts drift. He'd be in Biology and his mind would drift to Frank's laugh, Frank's smile, something Frank had said earlier.

The lockers at their high school were exceptionally big. It was nice despite the fact that they were easy to get shoved into for people like Frank. It also posed the challenge that Frank couldn't reach the freaking top shelf without jumping. Several times he'd dropped a text book on his head. Funny as it was to Gerard, he resulted to help his friend out.

He had his fourth hour near Frank's locker, and remembering the last locker incident when Frank had gotten shoved in some whore's locker and was stuck there for two hours, Gerard walked with Frank to lunch now. For safety reasons. Frank didn't see it as Gerard being his body guard or anything. In fact he didn't think too much about it. He liked Gerard's company. Gerard helped distract him from Jamia.

A few times Jamia had tried to talk to Frank, who'd ignored her. Finally she'd given up, even though it hurt her. Frank didn't know how much he hurt her, and Jamia didn't know how Frank felt. If they would only talk to each other!

Gerard stood leaning against locker 247. Frank's locker was 246. When the bell rang and Frank showed up at his locker he asked Gerard if he even went to fourth hour anymore. Gerard laughed cheerfully as he put Frank's book up on his top shelf.

"Aw, helping your boyfriend, Gerard?" someone called out as they passed them in the hallway. Gerard didn't recognize the voice and he didn't look to see who it was.

"Jealousy's a bitch," Gerard called over his shoulder and then continued talking to Frank. The two boys made their way to the cafeteria without incident, where they met up with Bob and Ray.

"Where's Mikey?" Gerard asked as he sat down. His eyebrows were furrowed in confusion because he didn't like when his kid brother was missing. Call it older brother instincts, but Gerard had a way of being over protective at times.

"I don't know," Ray said as Bob shrugged. Gerard swept the cafeteria with his eyes and didn't spot Mikey anywhere. He was starting to get worried. Frank was texting Mikey, and after he pressed send he set his phone in the middle of the table. Gerard stared at it until it buzzed.

"Says he wasn't feeling well, walked home," Frank read.

"If he wasn't feeling well then he shouldn't have walked a lone..." Gerard muttered. "Did he get home okay?"

"He says he's fine," Frank responded. Gerard nodded. Okay, at least he knew he was home and not shoved in a locker or beat up in a bath room or something. But still, he hadn't been ill earlier... Gerard shrugged and tried not to think about it too much. He turned his attention back to Frank.


	30. Chapter 30

"Nooo it's Monday," Frank whined as he walked across the court yard with Gerard by his side. His blazer was off and thrown over his shoulder, his shirt was untucked and his tie was loosened. Gerard had unbuttoned his blazer and untucked his shirt, feeling better and more casual in the stupid clothes.

"I can't go today; I have to check up on Mikey," Gerard explained.

"If I don't go today then what am I supposed to do all week? Monday is comic book day. Every single Monday since we were eleven. Mikey's not a baby, he's fine," Frank argued.

"But..."

"No butts except for yours walking to the comic store with me," Frank said. "Come on," Reluctantly Gerard followed him.

!

Mikey pranced happily through the house and dwelled in his solitude. It wasn't often he got the house to himself. In sock feet he slid through the kitchen like a 'sock ninja.' An especially slippery spot put him flat on his back as he slipped under the kitchen table. He lay on his back a bit out of breath with his heart beating hard from the fall and giggled. He was giddy from nervous and excited energy. He stared up at the crayon drawings Gerard had made under the table when they were little. There was a demented pumpkin, a unicorn, and a skull head. Gerard had always been weird.

Mikey climbed out from under the table and hit his head. A few curse words slipped from the fourteen year old's mouth as he shuffled safely to the fridge. Food food food, for some odd reason he was constantly hungry. Even when he was eating he was hungry. Maybe it had something to do with his growth spurt. Mikey decided to check into that.

What if he was developing a condition that caused him to eat and eat and eat all while geting thinner and thinner, and he just got so thin he died... He was noticably thinner now that he was a few inches taller- and he had been skinny in the first place!

Mikey was about to kill the left over pizza when the door bell rang. _Shit,_ he thought. _It's Gerard! Act sick..._ Mikey shuffled slowly to the door and coughed before he opened it, trying to look pathetic. Not TOO pathetic, because then Gerard would get worried, and Gerard worried anyways. Just sick enough to excuse leaving school. As if Gerard would care if Mikey ditched school, but Gerard didn't like being lied to.

"Hey," Mikey said in a weak voice.

"Oh geeze, Mikey. You okay!?" Mikey's head snapped up to see Peter, towering over him and seeming concered. Mikey killed the act immediately.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine," Mikey responded in his normal voice. "Come on in, I was just making pizza," Mikey turned from the door and left it open for Peter to follow him. Peter didn't move.

"We need to talk," Peter said. Mikey stopped and turned back to him.

"Well come on in then," Mikey laughed.

"I'd rather not," Peter sounded a bit uncomfortable. He had his meaty arms crossed over his chest and Mikey couldn't help but feel slightly intimidated. _No, this was Peter. There was nothing to be scared of._

"Mikey, we have to stop hanging out at school," Peter said suddenly, leaving the skinny boy in front of him a bit confused. They didn't usually hang out at school.

"Huh?" was all Mikey could say.

"I can't be seen talking to you, dude," Peter said. "It's bad news."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Mikey asked. "You're like the freaking school king, you can talk to whoever you want!"

"It's not what you think," Peter sighed and ran a hand down his face. "It's not that simple,"

"You don't want to talk to me," Mikey stated, a bit hurt but trying not to show it.

"No, I still want to be friends. We can go to the concert and stuff together still, but it's just in public..."

"So you're using me then?" Mikey asked, crossing his skinny arms over his ribs to match Peter.

"No," Peter groaned. "Dammnit Mikey, that's not what I meant..."

"I apologize for not meeting _his highness's _standards," Mikey spat. _So much for grey,_ Mikey sighed. He regretted trying to make other friends besides the guys.

"I don't want you to get hurt," Peter demanded.

"It sounds like you're breaking up with me..." Mikey said a bit sarcastically.

"Can't you take anything serious!?" Peter spat. He was angry now too. "I'm not a fag like..." he stopped. Oh shit.

Mikey's eyebrows rose pretty high. "Like what?" Mikey demanded, pissed off. "LIKE WHAT!?"

"M-mikey... Like nothing, like nothing..."

"Like Gerard? Like me!?"

"No! That's not what I was going to say!"

"What were you going to say then?" Mikey challenged. He stood just inside the door and stared up at Peter. After a few moments Peter still hadn't spoken and Mikey sighed.

"Get out of here, Peter," he sighed. "If you're embarrassed to be seen with me then you don't have to worry about it anymore,"

"Mikey, I don't want any of the guys to attack you. They can be weird like that," Peter said.

"You mean bullies?" Mikey asked. "Yeah, I know. I knew the day Gerard came home with a black eye and a broken arm in seventh grade. I knew the day I got hit in the head with a freaking football, and that time I got sucker punched. But that's not your problem, Peter. Why don't you go back home and call your friends, I'm sure they'll get a laugh about you 'breaking up' with your 'little emo boyfriend.'" Mikey closed the door solidly in Peters face and shuffled back into the house. He felt suddenly sick, and all his energy was gone. Maybe he'd go take a nap.

!

Ed was staring at him from across the table and Ray just stared down at his food. It was hard to pretend his brother wasn't there when he shared a room with him in their tiny house. Ray was doing a pretty good job though. Nobody spoke at the table. Occasionally Ray's mother looked up to glare at something, but otherwise they were all isolated. It didn't bother Ray. It discouraged Ed from talking to him.

In his room after dinner Ray sat on his bed with his guitar on his lap and headphones in his ears. He did his best to ignore everything until Ed clamped a hand down on the neck of the guitar. Ray looked up at his brother, who simply stared back down at him. They stayed silent like that for about a minute, with Tito staring from across the room. Eventually Ed smiled and patted Ray's head before walking and collapsing on his own bed. Ray stared at his laying figure for a while before turning back to his music. Did that mean Ed forgave him? Did he forgive Ed?

!

Elena knew it was coming. Day by day she felt it creep closer. She knew the people around her felt it too. Gerard had a cautious awkwardness around her, and Marie was around way more than normal. What really surprised Elena was when her son, Don, took off work to come visit her.

"Who told you?" she asked him with an apathetic tone of voice.

"Marie," Don responded. Elena nodded silently and stared out the window. Don walked over to her side confidently and knelt down at the side of her bed.

"Elena," he spoke quietly, calling his mother by her first name. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Please, forgive me..."

"You've been forgiven," Elena said simply. "Since my second day here I've forgiven you,"

"Not the first day?" Don asked.

"No, I hated you stupid ass," Elena wrinkled up her nose at him.

"Thanks, Mom," he chuckled a very rare chuckle. Don never laughed anymore.

"I never liked you," Elena stated.

"I know. I don't like you so much either," Don responded.

"As long as we got that straight," Elena grinned, pleased with the closure.


	31. Chapter 31

Dinner was awkward in the Way house as well. Mikey had overlooked something when he'd erased the school's message of his absense from the answering machine at home. They had also emailed his father at work. Let us just say that Mikey's father wasn't very happy to learn his youngest son had ditched most o school. In rebuttal to Mikey's illness lie he asked why he hadn't gone to the nurse. _Because I wasn't sick._ Mikey sighed and slumped down in his seat. Gerard, who sat across the table from Mikey, pushed broccilli around on his plate and made faces at his brother in an attempt to cheer him up.

"Gerard," his father's voice made him jump. "That is enough." WHen his father looked away Gerard made a face at him and dropped his eyes to his plate again.

Mikey started wiggling in his seat. He'd cleaned his plate and was eager to leave. "May I be excused?" he asked quickly.

"No you may not," his father responded rather sternly. Mikey stopped and stared down at his plate in dismay. After a moment Mr. Way sighed and dropped his napkin on the table. "Go," he said and Mikey was up the stairs in record time.

!

Bob woke in the morning to noise, which was strange. Bob heard the sounds of something bumping down the stairs and of his parent's voices. He hadn't slept well, but his exhaustion was forgotten as his curiosity took over. Bob pried himself from bed and walked across the room. The carpet was comfortable but the hard wood of the landing was cold. Coming up the stairs was Bob's father, who stopped in front of his son.

Mr. Bryar was fully clothed in jeans, a tucked in flannel shirt over his protruding belly, and his work boots on his feet. Usually he was missing at least some part of clothing when he was home. He was freshly shaven too, and he always shaved right before...

"I was just coming to wake you," Mr. Bryar said.

"You're leaving,"

"Yeah,"

A swell of bitterness rose in Bob but he blocked it out. This was his career, he had to be gone.

"Done Danni know?" Bob asked.

"Not yet," Bob nodded. "Take care of them."

"You know I will. I always do," Bob said. It was a bit of a jab at his old man. Bob had been taking care of his mother and sister, killing sadness, doing the man's jobs, and trying to fill the void since he was little. He'd been making up for his father his whole life.

Danielle didn't cry anymore when her father left, but Bob could tell it still bothered her. She smiled up at her daddy and Bob felt choked by her braveness.

!

"Your dad called," Frank jumped and looked back at his mother, who was never up to see Frank off to school anymore. Her schedule had changed and she now worked the night shift as a bar tender instead of the noon.

"What'd he want?" Frank asked after he took a chug of milk out of the carton.

"Use a glass," his mother scolded.

"I'm sure that's not what he called about," Frank joked.

"You're right, smart ass," Linda smiled proudly at her son like he'd won a football game instead off used sarcasm. But Linda didn't know what she would do if Frank started playing football. It would be too weird to handle. "He wanted to remind you that you're at his house this weekend."

Frank groaned audibly and dropped down into a chair by the window. "Whhhhyyy?" he whined.

"He's not going to do anything," Linda reassured her son. "He just wants to talk to you. I think he misses you Franky,"

"Yeah. I bet he misses Great Aunt Gertrude too," Frank sighed.

Linda shrugged. "I'm going back to bed. Don't be late to school," Linda kissed her son on the forehead.

Frank, of course, was late to school.

!

Gerard was up early that morning. He was dressed and ready and dragging Mikey out of bed by six fifteen am.

"Too early," Mikey moaned.

"You're coming. You said you would last night so get your butt up," Gerard pulled on Mikey's legs trying to drag him out of bed.

"I wasn't tired last night," Mikey argued. A final tug got Mikey out of bed; however, he was pulled out with a force that sent Gerard flying backwards and Mikey landed awkwardly on top of him. "Ow," he sighed.

"Come on and get dressed," Gerard picked himself up and pushed Mikey towards his closet. "Ten minutes, kiddo if you want to see grandma before school starts." Without any more protesting Mikey got ready for school. Gerard's wreckless driving woke Mikey up easily and left the boy clinging to his seat and devouring his finger nails.

He pulled to a skidding stop in the parking lot and they went in.

"Andrew," Martha stopped Gerard in the hallway and Gerard wondered how, every single time, she managed to find him. Maybe she'd put a tracking device on his when she wasn't looking. "You're dressed so nicely, Andrew. Are you going to the office?"

"SOmething like that," Gerard said.

"Is this your business partner?" she asked, looking suspiciously at Mikey.

"Yup,"

"He sure is handsome..." Martha muttered under her breath making Mikey smile. "Careful, Andrew, he just might steal me..."

Gerard and Mikey couldn't help but laugh.

"I saw them today," Martha added.

"Who?"

"The black parade..." Martha sighed whistfully.

"Excuse me?" Gerard raised an eyebrow.

"The most handsome young men visit my dreams of late... very dark though... lost of skeletons. They must fear gas for the things they wear..." Martha was starting to not make any sense again. Gerard excused himself politely, knowing they'd be late if they didn't get out of the nursing home too soon.

Grandma Elena was happy to see them in her own bitter way. She wasn't too happy about the time, but she was glad in general. She told them about the nurses and how they were all bitches and how the doctors were spawns of the devil. She'd told them that they looked absolutely adorable in their school uniforms. She cussed plenty. Elena was behaving normally, but Gerard could tell something was different.

She wasn't acting as weak as she had been lately. Maybe it was just because it was early and she still had energry. But then she said, "I'm feeling much better today. Yesterday too. It's nice, not feeling like crap. Maybe I'm getting better," she smiled weakly at them.

Gerard lived on those words all morning, caught in a sort of high. Yeah, it was great! His grandmother might get better. He knew there was hope. This mindset impacted his whole day. Confidence is a brilliant thing.


	32. Chapter 32

Frank stood in a locker and beat against the door._ Let_ *thunk*_ me _*thunk* _out!_ *thunk* He heard someone tap the locker. "Hello?" a voice asked.

"Mikey! Thank God!" Frank cheered with a huge sigh of relief.

"Franky!?"

"Yeah, it's me,"

"Okay, hold on," Mikey started fiddling with the lock. He sat with his ear pressed against the cold metal as he waited for the 'click' which signalled the right number. It took a painstaking amount of time for him to get the first too, and Frank wasn't getting any younger in that locker.

"Hey!" a voice yelled, followed by loud footsteps. "What the hell do you think you're doing punk!?" From inside the locker Frank couldn't tell what was going on. Something, probably a person, probably Mikey, was slammed against the locker.

"You trying to rescue your brother's boyfriend, huh? Trying to be a little hero!?" Frank knew the voice: Kevin.

"Let me go!" Mikey yelled. He was probably struggling because something kept hitting the locker.

"This kid doesn't know his place," a new voice sneered, well it sounded like he sneered. _Come on, Mikey. You can do it. One more number and I can help you!_ Something made Mikey scream.

"Ew, he smells like emo. Guess someone needs a bath, huh?"

The pressure was taken off the locker and Frank could hear Mikey's protests getting farther away.

"Dammnit!" Frank yelled and out of pure frustration, he hit his head agains tthe locker as hard as he could. It wasn't fair that this stuff happened. It wasn't freaking fair!

!

Bob sat at his lunch table and poked at some pineapple that sat on his tray. He was attempting to use his fork as a forklift and stack it into a tower. He was soooo bored without the guys there. Where were they? Bob's thoughts kept drifting away, off to never never land. God, Metallica was awesome. But he was actually thinking about home. His father was supposed to be home for two weeks, but he was going out again. This time for three weeks at least. It seemed like he was home less and less lately. It didn't effect Bob to incredible amounts, but he was worried about his sister. Kids need their dads.

Bob spotted Gerard walking across the cafeteria in the cocky way he tended to. Gerard was just like that, Bob had observed. Gerard wasn't really cocky, or very confident at all actually, but the way he composed himself made it look like the freaking kind of the world. He was born to be a frontman.

When Bob saw Ray fall into step with Gerard he smiled. He wasn't alone anymore. His friends had a way of distracting him from his thoughts. He couldn't be more grateful for his friends. They'd accepted him so easily, even though they'd all been friends for years. They didn't even treat him any different.

"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" Gerard sang out as he approached the table. He set his tray down and sat on Bob's right. "Every day you have pineapple but I've never seen you eat it," Gerard mentioned.

"Your brother always snatches it," Bob chuckled.

"Hey guys!" Frank ran urgently up to the table. He was panting helplessly for a moment before he could speak. "Mikey..." he gasped. "Have you seen Mikey!?"

"No," Gerard said. Bob shook his head in the negative.

"There he is," Ray pointed across the cafeteria where Mikey had walked in.

"Oh thank God!" Frank exclaimed.

Mikey was walking with his head down and his hands in his pockets. As he got closer Gerard could tell that his uniform was discolored, apparently from water, and that his normally brown hair was darker and stuck down to his face and head. He didn't have any glasses on and he was shaking. He also had a black eye, fat lip, and cut on the bridge of his nose.

"What the hell happened to you!?" Gerard demanded.

"You look like shit," Ray added.

"Did those guys do this to you!?" Frank asked.

Mikey didn't say anything. He just sat down silently and dropped his head hard on the table. He was still shaking, and Gerard couldn't tell if it was from anger or sadness or fear or what. He didn't smell very good though.

"Oh, God, Mikey," Frank said. "I am so sorry! This is all my fault!"

"What the hell happened!?" Gerard repeated.

"I got shoved in a locker again, and Mikey was trying to help me out," Frank admitted.

"Day were twying tah clean da emo out da me," Mikey said, with his swollen lip affecting his speach. His hands were clenched into fists and he couldn't stop shaking. They'd dragged him to the bathroom, shoved him face first into a toilet. Kevin had tried to make him do other things while he was down on his knees, but he refused. That had gotten him hit a few more times and forced back into the disgusting dirty water. He could hear all their words over and over again in his mind. It had taken him some time to stop crying and throwing up, not like he was going to admit all of this to the guys.

He didn't have to. Gerard read him like a book. He understood the jist of what had happened. Maybe not everything, but he knew how torturous swirlies could be. He looked angrily determined and Mikey got kind of worried.

"Who is 'they'?" he asked with a bite in his voice.

"It bnot imbordant..." Mikey sighed.

Gerard forced Mikey to look up at him, which showed his new black eye and bloody lip. Gerard gulped. "Who did this?" he asked agian in a softer voice.

_Damn, Gerard._ Mikey felt like he was going to start crying again. He tried looking down at the table but Gerard made him keep eye contact. It was like hypnosis, the way the words slipped from his lips. "Kebin..."

"Only Kevin?" Gerard asked, his voice still gentle.

"The odders left... day said day didn't wanna watch..." Mikey said. He looked around the table to see not only Gerard was furious. Bob looked sick for Mikey. Ray had his eye brows furrowed and was glaring over at the jock table. Mikey didn't think he'd ever seen Frank more red.

"Dyes," Mikey said a bit worried now. He meant to say 'guys' but lips are very important to talking. "Gerrard," he added. "Pwease don't do anybing," he pleaded.

"We should go talk to the principal..." Ray offered.

"And what the hell will they do!?" Gerard snapped. "Nothing. Fucking nothing. When Franky got beat up he got suspended. The office is useless because they don't give a fucking shit. I'm not taking this anymore!" Gerard finished his sentence yelling. It had startled Ray, who was leaning away from his friend.

Before anyone knew it Gerard was on his feet and marching across the cafeteria as a man with a mission.

"Gerrard!" Mikey called after him. Frank was on his feet and chasing after his friend.

"What are you doing?" he whispered in Gerard's ear.

"You'll see," Gerard smiled wickedly. _Whatever he was planning,_ Frank decided, _would be trouble._

Gerard grabbed a bowl off of a random table as he walked past. "HEY!" someone protested, but Gerard ignored them. He continued walked til he was only about ten feet away from Kevin's table. By now a lot of the cafeteria was aware of him, but the jocks were still oblivious.

"HEY KEVIN!" Gerard yelled. Kevin turned and smiled evilly at Gerard just in time for a bowl of mashed potatoes to hit him right in the face. "CATCH!"

Cheerleaders screamed as they got splattered with potatoes. Peter stared dumbfounded at Gerard, Jonathan burst out laughing and Kevin's blush could be seen through the mush. The vein in his temple was throbbing. He reached behind him, grabbed a handfull of tatertots from someone's tray, and chucked them at Gerard. They were covered in catsup, which splattered across Gerard's uniform.

"You better run, faggot!" Kevin bellowed, standing. Gerard stood his ground as Kevin approached.

The bigger boy lunged at Gerard, who by some sort of miracle, blocked and punched Kevin right in the nose. Kevin's nose squirted blood and Gerard added a well aimed kick to the jock's groin.

"And YOU better not lay a fucking hand on my brother, EVER AGAIN!" Gerard yelled at Kevin, punctuating it with another punch to Kevin's head. Frank, seeing all of this unfolding, climbed onto a random person's table. They protested when he grabbed some random food from their trays and chucked it at the preps screaming "FOOD FIGHT!"

War broke out. Mikey smiled, despite his condition. This was the PERFECT distraction for his plan. And why shouldn't this food fight have some background music? The fourteen year old, flash drive safely in his pocket, bolted from the cafeteria and down the hallway.


	33. Chapter 33

It was easier than Mikey thought to sneak into the office. The secretary was off running around and several adults ran out to handle the chaos in the cafeteria just as Mikey snuck in. The job he'd done with the cameras that night had sufficed well. He'd been out for a few hours though, which is why he'd been so tired that morning. But he needed to make sure that the cameras wouldn't see him. He'd also shut off the camera for the cafeteria by accident, though Mikey now thanked whatever angels watched over him for that. He said a quick prayer to Mother Mary as he worked. Maybe he hadn't lost ALL of his catholicness.

!

Gerard was covered in catsup, potatoes, milk, and who knows what else. It was the most fun he'd had in a long time, and it was helping him rid of his anger. Every thing he threw took a little bit away. It would have been more theraputic to beat Kevin to a blubbering pulp for even daring to touch his little brother, but for now the job he'd done would be good enough.

Next to him Franky was fighting like a devil. Everyone was smiling too. Gerard thought that was the most amazing thing. They were all participating in a 'fight' which the adults would soon have shut down, but most of them looked happier than Gerard had ever seen.

!

Ray felt all of his tension leave him. Every stress he'd been hoarding, every fear, was erased in the battle. He was having the freaking time of his life, and his guitar arm proved very good for launching things. He had the strength of the base ball playing son his father had always wanted. Bob didn't seem to be enjoying himself to much. He strategically used a tray as a sheild to avoid the mess around him. It wasn't working, but at least he tried.

!

Mikey rushed to the central PA system and crouched down in front of it. He pulled the flash drive from his pocket and connected some wires between the system and the computer. His original plan had been to use a tape player, but after inspection last night he'd realized this hope was unattainable. Oh well, new age technology worked too.

After snipping a few things, connecting a few things, and turning the system on it was ready. He'd also destroyed the system enough so that it would take them a bit of time to figure out how to turn it off. It was perfect.

!

Gerard felt something dry and sticky splat against the back of his neck. He saw Frank burst into hysterics and glance behind him. Gerard in turn whipped around to find the culprit.

"Again with the cake!?" Gerard yelled over the mayhem.

"I just love your reaction," Lindsey responded. "I saw what you did," she added. "To Kevin. I'm proud of you..."

"Thanks," Gerard responded, not knowing what to say. "Thanks Lindsey,"

"It's not Lindsey," she shouted over the noise. "DUCK!" they ducked as a peice of pizza flew over their heads and slapped Frank in the face. They both laughed at him, and he flipped them off, grinning happily. "It's Lin-z," she added. "L-I-N-Z,"

"My apologies, Lin-z," he said. "You already know my name,"

"Gerard Gay," she smiled at him.

He stuck out his tongue. There she goes, pissing him off again. "That's not even funny,"

Behind Lin-z, Frank staggered backwards to avoid a milk carton in the eye. He bumped backwards into Lin-z, who slipped on a mess on the floor, straight into Gerard. Gerard, failing to keep his footing, fell on his back and Lin-z on top of him. He glared up at her, but couldn't help it when a laugh escaped his lips. She smirked in return, not bothering to get up. She straddled his waste comfortably while he wiggled and tried to get free.

Frank watched them, stopping dodging completely and ignored the food that hit him. He stared down at Lin-z and Gerard. Instead of an empty feeling he had expected, he felt a little happy. Gerard, despite the sour face, was laughing. And Lin-z was smiling too. Frank had listened to Gerard complain about Lin-z and others a thousand times but there was something in the way they looked at each other. Something sparkly in their eyes, like the sparkles on Mikey's unicorn toy.

Frank hadn't seen that look on Gerard since they were fifteen, when Gerard had been dating Mary. And then the bitch broke his heart. Frank smiled down at his friend, feeling very happy for them. He also felt a swell of jealousy. He wished that he could be loved like that.

!

Mikey got it started and beamed. He ran from the office with zeal and sprinted back down to the cafeteria. He burst through the doors and was hit imediately with potatoes. _Damned mashed potatoes. _He saw Franky standing on a table and acting crazy like normal. He spotted Ray's afro over in the corner by their table. He couldn't find Gerard.

He counted down in his mind. Mikey desperately wanted to see their reactions. _28, 29, 30!_

Just on time the music errupted. Mikey was bouncing with excitement when the first line started. He watched Frank get distracted, slip, and fall off the table. He suddenly saw Gerard and saw that he was smiling. Ray, over in the corner, was beaming like a freaking spot lite. Mikey couldn't find Bob, but he was sure his reaction was similarily happy.

!

"Holy shit..." Gerard muttered.

"Isn't this My Chemical Romance?" Lin-z asked, and Gerard smiled. He ran over and lifted Frank off the floor and spun around once.

"It's our song!" he yelled.

"I know! Oh my God!" Frank yelled back, struggling to get put down.

"How did this happen!?" Gerard asked.

"I don't know!" Frank yelled.

Gerard met Mikey's eyes across the cafeteria. Mikey smiled wide and gave his older brother a thumbs up. Gerard smiled back.

"Mikey did it," Gerard whispered. "Magic little Mikey did this," Frank didn't hear him.

!

Ray stared up at the ceiling in disbelief. He heard his guitar and he heard his voice and he heard the others and he couldn't believe how good it sounded. The words washed over Ray and he started laughing. He almost started crying too, but he didn't let himself.

The words suddenly meant everything in the world to him. Sure, Frank and Gerard had written the song when Frank was in the middle of a mental breakdown, but it somehow reached Ray too.

"I'M NOT OKAY!" he sang along loudly and it felt right. It felt good. For the first time since his brother had gotten arrested he felt okay.

!

Bob smiled up at the ceiling. _Mikey,_ he knew imediately. No one else had seen Mikey run from the cafeteria, but Bob had. It was Mikey who'd done this some how.

Bob grabbed two forks from the table in front of him and drummed along on the table. He found himself singing. "I'M NOT OKAY! I'M NOT OKAY! I'M NOT O_FUCKING_KAY!" He thought about his dad and his sister and every emotion in him rushed out. He'd been holding it in for so long. He'd been 'okay' for a long time. It felt wonderfully great to admit it. He wasn't okay.

!

Mikey had set the thing to play on repeat. Over and over. The food fight had died down some since everyone was startled by the music, but a few people were still going at it. Suddenly though, the music stopped and was replaced by the principal's voice.

"EVERYONE IN THE CAFETERIA FOR A LUNCH IS TO REMAIN THERE, SEATED AND SILENT, UNTIL TOLD OTHERWISE. IF YOU LEAVE THE CAFETERIA WITHOUT AUTHORIZATION IT WILL RESULT IN IMEDIATE SUSPENSION! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. IF YOU HAVE B LUNCH, YOU MAY REPORT TO THE KITCHENS TO RECIEVE LUNCH, AND THEN GO EAT IN YOUR FIFTH HOUR CLASS ROOM. C LUNCH WILL BE ANNOUNCED. AND I NEED GERARD WAY, MICHAEL WAY, FRANK IERO, RAYMOND TORO, KEVIN ANDERSON, AND BOB BRYAR TO REPORT TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE IMMEDIATELY! THANK YOU,"

Everyone surprisingly sat down. They weren't necessarily silent, but they were quiet at least. Gerard and Frank exchanged a glance before walking over to join Mikey at the door. Ray and Bob followed, and then the five boys walked to the office together. People stared at them as they left.

"We are so fucked," Frank said. He smirked guiltily.

"Yup," Gerard sighed with a pleased smile dancing on his lips. He side glanced to Mikey, who gave him a nervous but happy smile and they shared their secret in their eyes.


	34. Chapter 34

"I want to know who started this and I want to know now," the principal demanded. Gerard shuffled his feet and held his hands behind his back, staring up through his eyelashes and looking far too innocent. Ray was cool as a cucumber, standing with his hands in his pockets. Kevin sat, nursing a broken nose and glaring at Gerard over a wad of bloody tissues. Mikey looked very guilty with his eyes bugged and his glasses askew. Bob looked absolutely terrified, and Frank stood right in front of the principal staring straight at her, not a trace of remorse in his body. The principal stood with her arms crossed over her chest, feet apart as far as her pencil skirt would allow. Her high heels didn't make her very tall, barely Gerard's height. Her face was red and angry as she glared at them.

"Answering this question is not a choice, gentlemen," she snapped.

Frank cleared his voice, "We have the right to remain silent, ma'am,"

She turned on him. "You are already in trouble young man, don't make it worse for yourself. You think you're really funny, don't you? A real smart ass. Do you see any of your friends laughing here!?"

"No ma'am, I do not," Frank answered, staring her straight in the eyes and smiling. It pissed her off.

"Let us see what we have here. Mr. Way, you are in up to your eyebrows for starting the fight with Mr. Anderson, or so I've been told. Whoever started the food fight is certainly in for it. And then there's the student who hacked into the PA system, which I'm assuming to be one of you."

"If I do not get a response then I will suspend all six of you," the principal snapped. "i will expel you for that matter. This is not the way our students are to behave and dishonesty is another thing not tolerated,"

Gerard saw Mikey begin to look nervous. God, Mikey hated confrontation like this. Yelling bugged him. And both of them could just imagine the speech their father would have for them if they got expelled.

He began to open his mouth to say something, when Gerard cut him off.

"I have an excuse for attacking Kevin!" Gerard blurted out, and Mikey stared over at him wide eyed.

"Which is?" the principal raised an impatient eyebrow at the teen in front of her.

"This morning Anderson shoved Frank in a locker and beat Mikey up in the bathroom," Gerard said.

"That's ridiculous," Kevin spat.

"Yeah, well it happened," Gerard countered. "Frank has the same third hour as Bob and Bob can tell you he didn't see Frank that hour. Neither did any of us see him in the hallways, and we always see each other. Plus there was another guy in the bathroom with Mikey, right Mikey?"

Mikey blushed and looked over at Gerard. "I-I... uhh..."

"Michael?"

"I.. I don't know," Mikey stuttered out.

"Boys I want you to go wait in the office for a moment. So I may have a word a lone with Mr. Way here," the principal gave Gerard a pointed look. The other boys shuffled out of the room, Gerard's friends looking back repeatedly.

"What is this all about Gerard?" the principal asked once the door was closed.

"I'm telling you the truth," Gerard said. "I'm sick of seeing my friends and my brother treated that way,"

"How can you prove it's happening?" the principal asked.

"Have you even looked at Mikey? He has a black eye, a swollen lip, and a cut on his face. He spent an hour in the school bathroom throwing up water. Frank has been shoved into more lockers than I can count. And I'm not even going to start with what they've done to me. I'll admit to anything," Gerard was desperate. "But something needs to be done,"

"What do you have to admit to?" the principal asked.

"Who do you blame for the PA system?" Gerard asked.

"A witness told me they saw Michael walking into the office a few minutes before it went off,"

"That's bull shit. He was in the cafeteria,"

"Then who started it?"

"I did. It wasn't Mikey," Gerard said. Mikey was already in trouble at home for ditching school. Gerard didn't know what that was about, but Mikey was the good son.

"You set off the PA system?"

"Yeah," Gerard sighed. "And I initially started the food fight. Not Frank. Please, do something about the bullies though. _That's your job_, to protect people like us," Gerard said.

"I'll see what I can do. I will talk to Mr. Anderson about the issue, since you seem very passionate about it,"

"It's hard not to be,"

"How do you suppose we handle your punishment, Gerard?" the principal asked. Gerard shrugged. "That's up to you I guess," he said.

"Suspension seems fitting. One week. And you will spend the rest of today cleaning the cafeteria. You will need to do some volunteering after your suspension. Seem fair?" she raised an eyebrow.

Gerard heaved a sigh. "Yeah, it seems fair,"

"Very well. You understand that this behavior is not to be tolerated, Mr. Way. I could be much harsher and will be in the future. Are we clear?,"

"Yupp, crystal,"

!

As the boys were leaving the office Peter pushed past them and stormed in. Frank, who'd been shoved into a wall, glared back at Peter. What the hell was he doing there anyways?

Frank had gotten detention and volunteer hours for being an accompliss in starting the food fight. But after Gerard admitting to everything, Ray, Bob, and Mikey walked away clean. Kevin's punishment was unknown, but Frank hoped he got expelled. He certainly deserved it.

As they were leaving the office Frank bumped into Jamia, who was obviously aiding that hour. She was wearing the school uniform, of course, and it was stitch by stitch in place. Her collar was crisp and her tie was tightnened nice. Her school blazer was nice and stiff and her skirt hung down to her knees, unlike the way most girls hiked it up to be sexier.

"In trouble again?" she asked him. Frank stared at her in awe and confusion for a moment. Despite her protocol appearance there was something out of place.

"Y-y-your hair..." he managed to whisper.

"You like it?" she asked a bit bashfully.

"It's... great..." Frank smiled. "Different." Jamia smiled at her and straightened a stack of papers on the counter before turning to him completely. She fluffed the side of her hair with her hand and shook her head a bit.

"You look the same," she offered.

"Yeah,"

They stood there awkwardly for a moment, not looking at each other or talking, but highly aware of the other's precense. Gerard wasn't used to seeing Frank this bashful or quiet, and he stood off to the side of Frank, waiting patiently and a bit on edge. Ray, Bob, and Mikey hung by the door. Ray stared off into space while Bob contemplated Mikey's head wounds. He poked Mikey in the lip, resulting in protests from the younger. Eventually the aging secretary walked in, clearing her voice and announcing that the office was not a socialization hall. She filled out the paper work for Gerard and Frank and then shooed them out of the office.

"You don't look well enough to go to class," Gerard commented to Mikey, who shrugged. He was feeling weak again. He'd felt like shit until his adrenaline rush from his prank, and now he was back to the bottom. His eye throbbed and his lip was aching miserably. He wanted Gerard to take care of him and he wanted to go home, as babyish as it sounded.

"I'm not," he moaned. Ray and Bob departed to class while Frank stuck around to stare at Jamia and Gerard dragged Mikey to the nurse. Gerard couldn't help but feel a bit jealous about the way Frank was googling after Jamia. What was so special about her? She was a goodytwoshoes and she'd broken his heart. Frank deserved better than that. He was too nice and too loyal to be played with.

"Gerard, why are your fists clenched?" Mikey asked, snapping Gerard into reality.

"Nothing, just sit down," Gerard pushed his brother onto a cot and waited for the nurse to come in.

"Lordy!" the old woman declared as she entered a minute later. She was the same woman who'd nursed Frank that time Kevin had squeezed the life out of him. She had a no nonsense attitude for the kids she'd seen too much of, but also a maternal way of treating the students that was endearing. "What did you do, try and kiss one of them cheerleaders!?"

"No," Mikey said, blushing slightly.

"I'm only joking, deary. Here, let's get some ice on that," the nurse bustled away and returned a moment later with a bag of ice, some tylenol, and a band-aide.


	35. Chapter 35

Gerard was still sore from the lecture he'd recieved from his father, but also slightly elated from talking with his principal and going to see his grandmother. She'd been so much better that morning, and the principal had said she'd do something. Maybe there was hope afterall! Hope at home however was dwindling very quickly. 'Grounded for life!' his father had told him, while his mother babied Mikey to death. This was followed by the order to 'get out of his sight!' and go visit their grandmother. Needless to say, both boys were eager to escape.

The September heat wave was surrendering to a chill of upcoming autum. Because of this climate factor both boys were out of their soiled uniforms and layered in jeans, hoodies, and jackets to keep warm. Neither of the Way brothers spoke much in the car, so they'd cranked up the radio so loud they wouldn't have to. Pink Floyd wasn't heavy enough to satisfy their moods so Mikey switched out the eighties band for Drowning Pool. Gerard cranked up the volume and drove faster.

The pounding of the music through the closed up car disturbed the peaceful atmosphere of the nursing home. Gerard switched off the engine and they were left with a disturbing silence and ringing ears. They made their way into the nursing home and bipassed the nurse's station. The head nurse by now knew who Gerard was, though by the wrong name, and must trust him enough to not go insane and kill all the elderly people or steal someone. In Elena's room at the end of the hall she was sitting up with the windows open. She was writing in a notebook, which she quickly hid away when the boys entered.

"Didn't I already see you people today?" she asked them, giving them a stink eye look that would curdle milk. They smiled. "How'd you get here so fast from school?"

Gerard chuckled nervously and Mikey held a guilty grin.

"Mikey, come here," she instructed, hooking a bony old finger at him. "There's something the matter with your face,"

"I know," Mikey sighed. "I had a rough morning," he sat down on the edge of her bed and let her fuss over him.

"Why is there potatoes in your hair?" she asked him suspiciously. "Somebody better start talking,"

"There was a food fight today at school," Mikey said. "Gerard started it," Gerard automatically made a face at Mikey that said, _Thanks a-freaking-lot! :P_

"Is that so?" stink eye powers: INSTENSIFY!

"Please, Grandma, I do not want to hear it from you too," Gerard groaned and collapsed across the foot of her bed, staring up at the ceiling tiles and stupid paper crafts made by nearby elementary kids, which were supposed to cheer up the old people. HA!

"I won't say anything except that I hope you nailed one of those bastards in the face," Elena smirked.

"He kicked one in the balls," Mikey offered up, to which Elena grinned smugly, as if proud. "He totally beat the crap out of Kevin! It was awesome!"

"Wasn't that amazing," Gerard muttered.

"But now he's suspended," Mikey sighed sadly. "Dad wants to kill him,"

"What have we said about you father before, Gerard?" Elena asked.

"He has a stick up his butt," Gerard smiled at that statement.

"Exactly. You know what I have to say?"

"What?"

"Good for you!" she pumped a shaky fist in the air excitedly and they all laughed happily, not even thinking to be concerned about her blood pressure.

"Mikey was amazing too," Gerard piped in, brought back to his good mood. "He hacked the PA system and played our tunes in the school!"

"Your tunes?"

"The song we recorded," Gerard explained.

"Ah," Elena muttered something about young people and their mutilation of the english language.

"We named our band after you..." Mikey said a bit bashfully and recieved a 'hm?' "The book you gave me... our band is My Chemical Romance. I thought Gerard would have told you by now,"

"When is your next performance?"

"Tonight," Gerard sighed. "But apparently I'm not allowed to go. So I'm sneaking out,"

"Heaven help us before you father beats you," Elena mock folded her hands and looked up the heavens, which resembolded a ceiling with construction paper quite a lot. Not exactly the pearly gates, but whatever.

"He's got to catch me first," Gerard winked with a too confindent smile. They all started laughing again.

"You've been feeling better, right?" Gerard asked hopefully as they were about to leave.

"Today, yes," Elena smiled.

"That's good. That's really good. Well, we'd better get going or we'll be late to the gig,"

!

Ray waltzed into his room with his eyes nearly closed. His mother was out and his father was at work, so he'd have time to hide his clothes before they got home. His mom was going to kill him for the stains! It's not like he had very many school uniforms. Four shirts, three pairs of pants, and one jacket, meaning he had to wash them regularily and now he was one short on everything.

Ray jumped in surprise when he saw his brother in his room. He was sitting at Ray's desk. He looked up at Ray and smiled a goofy smile that was definitely out of character. Ray gave him a weird look and continued to change clothes. He was shirtless when his brother spoke.

"You know what's shit?" he said, then hiccuped. Ray turned to face him. "Life. Life is shit...*hic*"

"Uhh,"

"Ray... Ray baby brother, come here," Ed slurred the words out before collapsing sideways on the desk. Ray walked over to him with an irritated sigh.

"Down here," Ed motioned for Ray to crouch down, which he did with protest.

"What, Ed?" Ray asked, then crinkled his nose. His brother, besides smelling like he hadn't showered in a week, smelled very strongly of alcohol, and smokey like something else. There was another foul odor and Ray recognized it as vomit. His eyes quickly scanned the room and he located it in the corner. _Perfect, fucking perfect._

"Ed, you're fucking loaded," Ray groaned in disgust.

"Watching y-your mouth little Ray-ay," Ed said with a goofy smile.

"Ed, you're not even 21 yet! You said you were done with this!" Ray protested, feeling much like a little kid who wasn't getting the candy he wanted and also like he'd just found his dog peed on the floor for the 200th time. Why did he always have to be the responisble one!? Why did HE have to be good and hold things together!?

"Don mess with meh, I'm nnnnot drunk!"

"Give me that," Ray snatched the beer can from his brother's hand with ease and stomped out of the room. He posed above the sink, ready to wash it all away when he stopped. He lowered the bottle, stared at it for a second, and then brought it to his lips. He took a long swig and tried to forget that his brother had recently puked before drinking out of the bottle. He tried to forget that he was supposed to be the responsible one. He tried to forget a lot of things.

Ray had downed three beers before he realized he was getting drunk. He took another beer away from Ed and finished it in finality. Somehow he managed to have wits about him but his mind was in a dizzying buzz that excited him. He was hyper and kind of giddy, but he also felt like crying. For some odd reason he was fighting off an erection. Basically adolescense in a nutshell.

Ray was also smarter than Ed in the fact that he knew to get out of the house before his parents got home. He walked to the railroad tracks before dialing Bob's number on his cell. He attempted to sound as sober as possible. Bob, who was planning on picking Ray up anyways to go to Gerard's house, was there in five minutes.

He could tell something was up with Ray. He could also smell the hint of alcohol on his breath, but he didn't say anything. Bob thought it would be best not to, because he knew some people could get testy when they were intoxicated. The way his mom does, _no! Used to. She's better now. She doesn't do that anymore..._

Ray looked over at Bob and smiled, and Bob pushed away his thoughts and smiled back. _ I'm okay..._


	36. Chapter 36

Fuse was turned on and the television blasted 'Rock Hour' pretty loud. Gerard and Frank were wrestling on the living room floor while Ray played keep away with Mikey's hat and Bob lounged back on the couch trying to watch the tv. A knock came on the door and Ray peeled himself away from the commotion to answer it. He had to keep one arm raised high in the air so that the jumping Mikey still couldn't reach his hat. On the other side of the door he found Jamia, who was looking gorgeous as always dressed in a red hoodie, with a black skirt hanging down to her knees and red tights. God Frank had been lucky when he'd been dating her. She blushed slightly, looking at the scene in front of her.

Ray still had alcohol on his breath and was the least sober he'd ever been in his whole life, which was still more sober than Gerard had been for their last gig. Mikey, shirtless because they guys had made a game of stealing his clothes, blushed and sort of hid behind Ray after snatching his hat back and cramming it on his head. Bob belched loudly, unaware of company, especially female company. On the floor Frank and Gerard paused their wrestling match and froze in a rather awkward position that could be mistaken for sexual in the wrong eyes.

Frank smiled at Jamia as she stood awkwardly in the doorway, and pried himself off of Gerard, who sat back on the floor and stared at nothing with a blank expression.

"Hey, Jamia," Frank gave a huge smile that was very cute while Jamia stood there uncomfortably.

"Hey," she offered weakly. "I didn't realize you had company,"

"We're just hanging out before our gig tonight," Frank explained. "Why don't you come in?" He felt a pain in his chest remembering the times Jamia would simply barge in happily, wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him lustfully. That had been before the kiss, before he'd met her parents, and before he fucked things up. She no longer felt comfortable, because if he was gay then kissing him was a sin. It was all a bunch of bull shit. He wasn't gay, or bi really, or anything! And it shouldn't matter anyways. _Homophobia is gay._

"No, that's okay, really," Jamia sighed. "I just wanted to say..." she took a deep breath, obviously intimidated by the four pairs of male eyes focused on her (Bob was still watching tv).

"Why don't we talk outside?" Frank offered, stepping out onto the porch and closing the door behind him. He leaned back against the railing and watched her as she fussed with her skirt in her hands. God, she was so freaking adorable!

"What were you saying?" he asked.

"I heard that you started the food fight today," she said.

"As far as the principal knows, Gerard did it," Frank said.

"But it was really you,"

"Yeah,"

"Why'd you let him take the blame?"

Frank stared at her for a second. She had a good point. Why had Frank not set the woman straight when she'd said Gerard confessed to everything? He'd been shocked, but why hadn't he said anything? "Well I wasn't exactly in there when he did it. And he didn't seem upset or anything, he seemed really happy. It was like he wanted her to think he'd done it, so I let him go with it,"

"He's a really good friend of yours, huh?" Jamia asked.

"Ever since we were little," Frank grinned widly, trying to cover it by tilting his head down. "There's nothing gay about us, despite what you think," Frank added. Then shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. "Even if there was, homophobia is gay,"

"I know," Jamia whispered. "I also wanted to apologize," Frank raised an eye brow but said nothing, waited for her to continue. This was, however; something he wanted to hear. "I kinda freaked out on you, but I was just suprised. And my dad, he's always been very opiniative about those things. I know I kinda kicked you out..."

"You DID kick me out," Frank interrupted.

"I didn't want him to say anything else to offend you."

"You said a few things to offend me," Frank countered, disappointed how negative this conversation had become. He knew it was mostly his fault, and he could hear himself being a dick, but he couldn't stop it.

"I was scared, Frank," Jamia protested.

"Of what?"

"What if you really were gay, where did that leave me!? What did those weeks we had together mean? Nothing? What if you and Gerard broke up for me? I would feel terrible. I didn't want any more drama,"

"You don't have to worry about that," Frank sighed, his voice soft again. "I'm not gay, and Gerard is my best friend, but I'm in love with someone else,"

"Oh," Jamia's face dropped, and Frank kicked himself mentally. He was going to scare her off again.

"Those weeks meant a lot to me," Frank said. "You heard the song on the PA today... it was my band. I wrote that one, with Gerard, the night I met your parents,"

Jamia didn't have any words to say to that and Frank stood there fiddling with his tongue and his lip ring. He wanted to say more but he didn't know what.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Me too,"

"But I don't know if we can go straight back to where we were," Jamia sighed sadly. At least she was being honest.

"We could start by being friends," Frank held out his hand to shake, and she pulled him into a hug. Frank hugged her back and felt his heart soar. Friend zone- better than no zone.

"I was worried for your soul," she stated.

"What do you mean?"

"Homosexuals are supposed to go to hell,"

"I'm going to hell anyways," Frank laughed. "Because I do all the stuff they tell us not to do. I cuss and drink and jack off..."

Jamia broke away from the hug. "And you kiss boys,"

"Only on special occassions," Frank winked at her and she giggled. "So you want to come inside?"

"No, I can't. I have to get back home, but thank you," she smiled at him.

"For what?" he asked, pushing his hands into his hoodie pockets and staring at her. She only an inch shorter than him, so he could stare directly into her eyes. He was fiddling with his lip ring out of habit and had no idea how cute Jamia thought it was.

"This," she said and gave him a butterfly kiss on the lips, so light he barely felt it, but he was left with a tingling sensation. "And everything," she trotted down the steps and started down the road without looking back at him. He stared at her back with his mind blank and his face beaming. After a few minutes he realized he was cold and went back inside.

The guys started teasing him as soon as the door opened, singing the lyrics to "I Just Had Sex," and being very weird. He laughed, telling them rather rudely to shut up. Then Frank noticed that Gerard hadn't been singing. He was sitting back on the couch watching tv with a blank, if not cloudy, expression on his face. _What's up with him?_ Frank wondered.

!

Basement concerts were the best. A bunch of people gather in someone's basement to listen to live rock music and have fun. Some other new band was going at it at one end of the basement and of course My Chemcial Romance was hiding out in the corner. This basement, at least, was better than the church, so it would do. A few people came up and talked to them and eventually someone broke out the kegger. What is a teenage party without a kegger? Gerard started washing away his nervousness with beer and ADHD medication. Soon he felt the familiar numb take over his mind and he smiled.

Mikey noticed that Ray had a beer in his hand and stared at him curiously. He didn't think Ray was a drinker, but whatever. At this kind of thing anything goes. Still, he tried to keep count of how many his friend consumed, just for something to do.

The music was loud, the spirits were many, and the adolescent insanity lasted until midnight. Bob wondered absently who's basement they were in, and why their parents didn't care that they were all there. Normally, fifty sweaty, drinking teens dressed in black and mutilating the basement is on a parent's list of nightmares.

My Chemical Romance rocked it out and actually sold some of the cd's they'd made. They were pumped about that and left in a happy high. Nobody realized how drunk Ray was until he passed out. Bob caught him, thankfully, before he hit the concrete, and he and Frank carried their friend to the car. Gerard was coming down from his high but really needed to sleep it off. Frank agreed to keep Ray at his house, but all of them were worried that he might have alcohol poisoning. Everyone except Bob went back to Frank's house to look after Ray. Bob had to go home to make sure everyone was okay and taken care of there. The first nights after his father took off were always the hardest.

Mikey researched alcohol poisening on the computer while Gerard and Frank looked after Ray.

"We should keep him awake, make him sit up," Mikey instructed. "He's probably going to start puking..."

Just as Mikey had predicted Ray threw up as soon as they woke him up. "Just let me sleep," he moaned.

"No, you might die," Frank stated plainly and Ray threw up again.

"Come on, buddy," Frank rubbed Ray's back while Gerard held his hair back so he wouldn't get vomit in it. They'd never seen Ray like this and it was kind of concerning. Gerard and Frank had both gone through this and knew what Ray was going through. He was lucky to have them there.

Eventually they all passed out in a much needed sleep around four in the morning. Mikey was curled up in a ball in an arm chair and Gerard and Frank were leaning on each other on the floor. Ray woke up an hour later to throw up again, and then stumbled to Frank's room and collapsed on his bed. Linda came home a bit later than usual and shook her head at the kids scattered around her house. It wasn't the first time, it wouldn't be the last. She switched off the tv, which for some reason was always blaring, and went to bed herself.


	37. Chapter 37

Bob woke up early and fixed breakfast, pancakes, the way his father always did. While he was at it he brought his laptop into the kitchen and messaged Frank, Gerard, and Mikey to check up on Ray. Hopefully the guy was okay, just a rough night. Soon Danielle was awake and she floated into the kitchen and looked at Bob. He greeted his little sister with a friendly 'good morning.' She stayed silent as she shuffled over to him and trapped him in a hug. He hugged her back breifly and placed a kiss on her head.

"Alright kiddo," he said. "What will the pancakes resembole this morning?" Bob asked.

Danielle tapped her chin in thought. "How about hippos?" she mused.

"Just hippos? Won't they get lonely?" Bob asked as he poured batter into the shape of a hippo on the skillet.

"And unicorns," Dannielle added.

Bob broke into a smile. "Perfect," he said. Then he had a thought. "Danni, you really ought to meet a friend of mine. He's fifteen and in my band, but he has this strange obsession," Bob paused for effect, leaving his sister on the edge of her seat, "with unicorns!"

Danielle squealed in delight the way Bob had expected. She reminded him a lot of Mikey. He'd have to introduce the two.

!

Ray woke up and groaned in pain. Why the fuck did he hurt so much? What had he done last night? He realized in a panic that he wasn't in his own room. He sat up in such a rush that he rolled off the bed and onto the floor. The wood was hard along with a stack of cd's he bounced off of. Frank's room was a wreck. Oh yeah! That's where he was. Frank's room.

He didn't remember a hell of a lot from the previous night after they left the party. They were there, and then they were at Frank's house where Ray woke up, threw up, and fell asleep in Frank's room. He figured he didn't especially want to know all that had gone down last night. Ray knew he shouldn't have been intoxicated and he was ashamed of himself. If he got drunk, just for fun, then he was no better than Ed.

Ray pried himself off the floor and sat back down on the edge of the bed immediately. He'd stood up to fast and was dizzy. The walls were not supposed to move like that. Just then Frank walked in and laughed, too loud. It didn't help Ray's splitting head ache.

"Morning sleeping beauty," Frank smirked at Ray, who groaned miserably. "Hard night?"

"Ha-ha," Ray responded sarcastically. "Never let me touch a drop of alcohol, ever again," Ray requested.

"No problem," Frank agreed. "It wasn't a walk in the park taking care of your shit faced ass," Ray didn't exactly understand Frank's vocabulary but he got what Frank was saying. He was loaded, he must have been a handfull.

"How bad was I?" Ray asked.

"When you were unconscious it was fine," Frank offered. Then he grimaced. "When you weren't you were a mess,"

Ray sighed and lay back, just to hit his head on the wall and release a string of curse words.

Frank chuckled, even though he felt bad for Ray. "I feel like shit," Ray muttered.

"No doubt, you were pretty wrecked last night. Did you know you cry when you're drunk?" Frank asked, his face obvious that he received some amusement from that.

"Shut up," Ray said, pushing up to stand again and brushing past Frank to go to the bathroom.

"You have an extra tooth brush I can borrow?" he asked, searching through the bathroom drawers.

"Don't open the next one down, that's where Mom keeps her tampons," Frank said, now leaning agianst the bathroom doorjam instead of his bedroom doorjam.

"Ew," Ray carefully left that drawer in peace. He'd grown up with brothers, and his mom didn't really share her womanly business with the testosterones.

"Bottom one,"

"Thanks,"

"You threw up like ten times," Frank added.

"I can feel that,"

"I think you threw up on Gerard," Frank smirked again. Once again he was amused. Ray turned a shade of red in embarrassment. Oops.

"Like I said, never let me drink ever again," Ray demanded with a mouth full of tooth paste.

"Why did you anyways?" Frank asked. "I'm used to Gerard drinking, but not you,"

"I don't know," Ray admitted after spitting out toothpaste and rincing his mouth. "I came home and found Ed shit faced again. He said he was done, but I knew he didn't mean it. I guess I still had an adrenaline rush from earlier, felt invinsible," Ray shrugged. "I just thought, nobody else has to be responsible, why did I?"

Frank didn't say anything about that. Ray thought he must have hit a nerve or something but he didn't have anything to apologize for, so he simply ruffled Frank's hair as he headed for the kitchen. Gerard was cooking bacon. Ray almost threw up again, but he held it in.

"Where's Mikey?" he asked.

"Still sleeping," Gerard responded. "How are you feeling?"

"Shitty," Ray plopped down at the table and rested his forehead on the cool wood. "You don't look so hot either,"

"You're not the only one with a hang over," Gerard said. "Surprisingly I think Frank was the most sober of all of us last night!"

"Nah, I had two," Frank called from the other room.

"Scratch that, Bob was," Gerard restated.

"I didn't think Mikey drank," Ray said.

"That kid is high off life," Gerard smiled happily. Frank walked into the kitchen a minute later and glared at the stove.

"Ew, dead pig flesh," he commented in disgust. "You can keep that skillet,"

"Calm down, Franky," Gerard rolled his eyes. "It's tofu bacon. Vegan friendly," Franky smiled and ate a peice. He'd gone vegan two years ago after watching an online video where some animal activists broke into a pig place and video taped everything. It made Frank ill. He refused from then on to eat meat, since it was tortured for life before made into food. If he ate meat he could hear pigs squealing in torment. Not appetizing. So not appetizing.

!

Gerard knew something was wrong the moment he set foot in his house. It was far too quiet, too peaceful. He didn't hear the tv or radio anywhere, no sound of dishes or talking. Just quiet. Unless his parents were up in their bedroom, but they were too conservative, sex was a night thing... So something had to be wrong.

"Mom?" he called out, slipping off his jacket and hanging it up. Maybe he was still in deep shit for yesterday, maybe that accounted for the awkward silence. Maybe his parents had got in a fight again, but no, they hadn't fought for years.

"Gerard, honey," his mother's voice came from the kitchen. "Is Mikey with you? Come into the kitchen please," her voice was too nice. Too gentle. What was going on?

Gerard lead the way and Mikey followed him into the kitchen, where his mother was sitting at the table, her eyes a bit red, and his father stood leaning against the counter, face stone and hands in his pockets. Yup, something was wrong.

"What's up?" Gerard asked, grabbing a pop from the fridge and popping it open. The can was too loud in the silence.

"Darling, why don't you sit down?" she was addressing both Mikey and Gerard, who threw each other nervous glances and sat.

"What's going on?" Gerard asked slowly, suspisciously. Under the table, Mikey's hand reached over and grabbed his. He was nervous. Gerard gave it a gentle squeeze.

"The nursing home called this morning," Mrs. Way started and Gerard's heart stopped. No. No no no that wasn't good. She must be getting bad again. Elena must have gotten sick again.

"What did they say!?" Gerard demanded, and he felt Mikey's hand tighten in his own.

Don and Donna exchanged a nervous glance, neither sure how to continue.

"Your grandmother..." Don started, then cleared his throat. "She passed away last night," he finished. And that's when the world stopped moving. Gerard stared straight at his parents without speaking at all. Next to him Mikey's face contorted suddenly and he burst into tears. His mother started crying as well. Mikey squeezed his brother's hand, but Gerard dropped it, standing from the table so fast his chair fell back.

"No," he said in a stern voice, which soon escalated. "No, you're... you're LYING!" he screamed.

"Gerard, calm down," Mr. Way instructed.

"Calm down? Calm down! No! You calm the fuck down! You're LYING!" Gerard yelled, then stormed from the house, grabbing the car keys and bounding out the door.

"Gerard Arthur Way! Get back here young man!" he heard his father yell, and he also heard Mikey crying. But he didn't stop. He didn't go back. He sped away in the car as fast as he possibly could, not especially caring if he wrecked or got pulled over. He would have been delirious to anything that happened. He had to get to the nursing home. He had to get there, because he knew his dad was lying.


	38. Chapter 38

Gerard sped down the interstate way to fast, zoomed off the exit, and peeled up gravel in his rush. He parked unevenly, slammed the car door, and sprinted into the nursing home. The main nurse looked up startled at him.

"Oh, Gerard," she spoke quietly. _So now you know my name,_ Gerard growled in his mind.

"How is Elena? I need to see her!" Gerard demanded, and dispite his anger, there was a childish desperation in his voice, makin it sound like he was going cry. Her face became on of pity imediately and though Gerard kicked himself for sounding so weak, he also thought that if it got him to see his grandmother he wouldn't mind playing it up.

"I thought your parents would have told you," the nurse said and Gerard felt his heart drop. _Why were they all lying? What kind of sick joke was this? _Shaking his head he receeded back a few steps. HIs face displayed a horrified expression and he took off down the hall as fast as he could. It was an obstacle course of wheel chairs, walkers, gourneys, and med carts, and Gerard wasn't the most athletic boy. He was sweating when he made it and slammed open the closed door. He hadn't noticed that the name plate had been removed from it.

The bed was empty and made in uniform. Grandma Elena's blankets and pillows had been removed. The bed side table didn't hold the romance novels or the journals or other various things Elena had kept there. Her radio was gone, put away somewhere. And the vase of roses she always kept across the room was missing. It looked too clean. Too uncluttered. Too empty.

Possibly it was the emptiness of it all but Gerard broke down. Shakey sobs rattled his angry exterior and he doubled over, the sunk down to a crouch and wrapped his arms around himself. He bawled like a baby. _This can't be happening... this can't be happening...!_ Gerard tried to convince himself that she wasn't gone, that she'd just moved rooms, or maybe he was in the wrong one. It didn't work. Gerard could lie to everyone except himself.

"Andrew?" Martha's frail voice regesterd in the young man's ears and he sobbed harder, not caring for the company. He didn't even speculate how she'd come in so silently, or how she'd found him, though he was being rather loud. His mouth opened and his tortured thoughts became verbal. "She was fine," he bawled, hiccuped, and continued crying. "She was fine yesterday!"

Martha stared down at the boy with big doe eyes, and after sneaking a peek up at her, he hid his face again. She frowned down at him in pity.

"Helena loved you very much," Martha said gently, and it only made Gerard cry more. He'd been told a month. Why had they lied to him? Why did she leave early? It wasn't fair! She was everything to him!

Gerard got mad. Why did she have to quit chemo!? She could have lived longer with the chemo! She could have gotten better! And she had been getting better... The past two days she was at her top health since she'd been there! She was fine! What happened?

"It's not fair," Gerard cried. "It's not fair..."

!

Frank's mom had been really nice about letting Ray hang out for a while. She didn't question him even though she could obviously tell he was hung over. Linda asked about how their gig had gone the night before, but didn't push for any details Frank didn't give her. She told Ray he was welcome to stay the night whenever he needed.

Ray wondered why he hadn't spent MORE time at Frank's house before. Sure, he went and hung out there with the guys a lot and by himself from time to time. But it seemed that whenever he was there, Frank's mom wasn't. So though he knew her by face and had had breif conversations with her, he had never really talked to her. Ray really liked Frank's mom. She was cool and chill and really nice. She even offered him a cookie, (what Moms did that anymore!? It was awesome!) from a cookie jar. She also told him that the cookie jar on the right held other things, which Ray learned to be condoms, if they boys ever needed them.

Now of course Ray didn't want to talk about sex with anyone's mom, except maybe Andrea from math class. Her mom was a total MILF! But anyways, Frank's mom was totally cool about it. It was so unlike Ray's own home that he didn't exactly want to go home.

But he had to. His mom would already be ticked that he'd waited so long before 'he' texted her saying he was staying at Frank's. Gerard had actually texted her, when they got home at one am. Ray was surprised his mother hadn't called the cops!

When Ray walked in his own home he found everyone there. His mother was in the kitchen cooking enchiladas. His father was watching tv in the living room with Tito. Nobody said anything to Ray, so he greeted them politely and went to find sleep. Ray found Ed in their room, high out of his mind and sleeping off a hang over.

"Hey," Ray said weakly as he entered.

"Hey Ray," Ed responded, squinting up at Ray. "Turn the light off, it's fucking bright!"

Ray flicked the switch and sighed down at his brother. "Hang over?" he asked.

"Yeah," Ed groaned. "You look like you had a late night," Ed laughed. "How was she?"

"No she," Ray responded, falling back onto the bed next to his brother. He then pushed himself to sit up on the edge and Ed did the same, so they were sitting next to each other.

"He?" Ed asked with disgust in his voice.

"If 'he' is a beer or six, then yeah. He," Ray sighed. Ed didn't say anything, but he stared at his little brother confused. Hadn't Ray been the one giving him a hard time about drugs. "I'm never touching alcohol again. It totally fucked me up,"

"Why did you?"

"You were," Ray shrugged.

"Don't follow my example," Ed said, his voice suddenly stern and a bit angry. He rose to his feet and ran a hand through his curly hair, which was getting too long for his taste again. "You know better than that, you ARE fucking better than that!"

"You do it, so why shouldn't it?" Ray snapped, suddenly trying to prove a point. "Or are you the only one allowed to fuck up in this family!?" Ed turned quickly and slapped Ray across the face. The younger boy was so shocked, not that he had been hit, but that he'd been hit by his brother. He couldn't say anything, just stared up at his brother through the bangs that had fallen in his eyes. It didn't really hurt, give stinging a little, but it had caught him off guard.

"Don't even pull that shit," Ed growled. "I told you I was going to fix things!"

Ray stood up and faced his brother, nose to nose since they were now the same size. "Prove it," he said, then shoved his brother out of the way and stomped out of the room. He'd have to sleep off the hang over somewhere else.

!

Donna hated it when her boys were upset. Don had become so angry, so much more distant that he already was. And Gerard, who still had no idea how much he and his father were alike, had become furious and stormed out. No doubt he'd headed to the nursing home to see for himself, since he no longer trusted his father. Donna wished the gap hadn't formed between them but couldn't pretend to not know why. Her husband could be closed minded, and when Gerard showed absolutely no interest in sports but a lot of interest in art, it broke his father's heart a bit. He also didn't sympathize when Gerard had gotten beat up at school. HIS son shouldn't be a victim. Sons should be able to fight back and defend themselves. But maybe that all wouldn't have been so bad if Gerard was more like Mikey. Gerard held grudges and took things personally. He could be just as close minded as his father and didn't take critizism well. Mikey was excited about things, passionate, and he always gave thought to what his parents told him. Gerard was stubborn as an ass, just like his father, and would rather make his own mistakes than learn from the mistakes of others. Gerard was a free thinker and quite an individual. That is where the gap started.

But enough thinking about that, it was making Donna depressed. She sighed as her youngest, Michael, shuffled into the kitchen. He wasn't crying anymore, but he was certainly still down. Who could blame him? He slumped down in a chair and stared down at the table with a glare on his face, as if he was angry against the wood itself for even daring to be a table instead of sad about his grandmother.

"Mikey," Donna said. She called him Mikey when his father wasn't around, who thought the name was childish and gay. "Why don't we watch a movie, baby? I was going to watch Nightmare on Elm Street if you'd like to join me," Donna offered.

Unbeknownst to Donna, Mikey HATED horror movies. As dorky as it was they scared him. When he was younger and she would have him and Gerard watch movies with her they'd give him nightmares. They would still give him nightmares. It was so dumb.

But Mikey had nothing better to do and needed to distract himself. He needed to stop thinking, which was near impossible. Mikey was in a sort of shock. How could his grandmother be dead? She'd been there forever, this ever present force in his life. Grandma Elena couldn't just be gone... The thought of her not being there, sitting propped up against pillows, in her room and cussing like a sailor while her eyes twinkled at her boys, was just wrong. The same way it had been when she'd been moved into the nursing home. How it felt wrong that she wouldn't just be there in her house, making cookies or giving them whiskey.

Mikey shuffled into the living room and sat on the couch next to his mother, letting her wrap an arm around him and they watched Nightmare On Elm Street together. It wasn't as scary as Mikey remembered it being, but he still was totally creeped out. Maybe he wouldn't sleep that night... he didn't know if he could anyways.


	39. Chapter 39

A car door slammed and Frank looked up alarmed. He rose from his seat on the couch, throwing the Batman comic down behind him and peeked out the window. There, in the drive way, was his father's car, completely fixed. His father had gotten out of the car and was walking towards the house.

_SHIT!_ Frank panicked. He'd totally forgotten that his father would be coming to get him today. _Shit shit shittity shit shit shit!_

"Mom! Stall him!" Frank called out, running into his room to pack, or hide. He couldn't decide which one would be smarter. Frank was confused when he opened his drawer to find all the things he'd normally pack for a weekend at his father's missing. His tooth brush wasn't in the bathroom either.

_What the hell? _

"I already put your bag together," Linda spoke from his doorway. "I figured you'd either procrastinate or forget,"

"Thank's mom. Yeah, I did forget. My mind tends to forget harmful things," Frank said sarcastically.

"You might want to lose the attitude and the eye liner if you're going to be with your father," Linda suggested. When Frank made a face at her she raised her hands up in mock defense. "Just saying," she shrugged and then went to open the door.

Frank hurried to his bathroom and wiped the eyeliner from his eyes. He hadn't done anything drastic, but he thought it looked cool. His father wouldn't though. Frank knew he was already going to have a hard time with his temper, so why push it? One day his father's threats might become actions, and that would SUCK!

Frank shoved some comics and several cd's into his back pack, along with a folder full of homework he wouldn't do and some other random stuff. He or his mother didn't have nearly enough money to get him a laptop or an ipod, but that was okay. They had a dinosaur of a computer that worked okay-ish, and his dad had the decency to get him a cell phone. Not a smart phone, of course, but a cell phone nonetheless.

Backpack slung over a shoulder and over night bag in his hand Franky walked up to his father.

"Hey," he greeted him with a tone in his voice as if he was going to war, not his father's house. "See ya, Mom," he gave his mother a kiss on the forehead before turning and following his father out the door.

!

Bob sat at the kitchen table with his sister, both of them pouring over a social studies book. _ Social Studies_, Bob decided, _was the most worthless class in the history of all history. Except Algebra..._ He watched as his sister scrawled something down on a piece of notebook paper that must be the answer to question number one. Bob didn't know, Danni was so much better at school than he was he didn't even know why he bothered trying to help her.

"I'll be right back," Bob told his sister, standing from the table and heading to the bathroom. He had to freaking pee! He also decided to check on his mom, who he hadn't seen all day. She sometimes got distant right after their father left, just more reason for Bob to fill the gaps.

Bob trotted up the stairs and pushed through the door to the bathroom. In there stood a very surprised looking man, who seemed to be, err, butt naked. Bob stared at him in horror and they both screamed, then Bob punched the man in the face. His left hand was on the door handle to the hall closet, where his father kept the emergancy gun. Bob threw the door open, grabbed the gun, cocked it, and aimed it right at the man's chest.

"Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my house!?" Bob demanded. The man in front of him trembled, holding his hands up in defense.

"Put the gun down, sonny," he said warily.

"Fuck you!" Bob spat, tightening his grip. "Explanation, NOW!"

"Darling?" Bob's mother's voice came from the other room, followed by footsteps. The naked man stared nervously at the door while Bob kept his glare firm on the man in front of him, trying not to look down past his neck.

The door to his parent's room opened and Bob's mother stepped out, completely naked except for a man's dress shirt, unbuttoned in the front. That was more than Bob EVER wanted to see of his mother. He uncocked the gun and dropped it too his side. It was suddenly too heavy for Bob's arms to support as he realized what was happening in front of him.

"Mom..." he spoke, eyes closed to aviod seeing the naked adults in front of him. "Why is there a naked man in our bathroom?"

"Bob, this is Carl," his mother said slowly. "He's my- my uhhh..."

"Fuck buddy?" Bob offered.

"Bob! Language!" his mother scolded. Bob ignored her anger. He wasn't angry. He was completely numb.

"Don't let Danni know," was all he said, sternly, before he turned and walked down the stairs. He walked through the house and sat back down at the kitchen table. His little sister looked up at him with blue eyes, concerned.

"What were you yelling about?" she asked him.

"I startled myself, is all," Bob responded, trying to act normal, for Danni's sake. He smiled and she eyed him suspisciously, but then turned back to her homework. Bob stared blankly ahead in numbness, anger beginning to sizzle inside of him. His mother was having an affair...


	40. Chapter 40

"You got the car fixed..." Frank stated plainly, only to break the silence that filled the car like a huge pink elephant. He had put a cd in and pressed play, only to have his father turn the music down so far he could barely hear it. Frank heaved a sigh and slumped against the door, glaring over at his father.

"It was quite expensive. You did a number on it," Mr. Iero grumbled. "Maybe you should be in baseball instead of a band after all," he said sarcastically.

"Yeah, cause you would just love to have an all-star son," Frank responded bitterly.

"Actually I don't care whether you play sports or not," Mr. Iero responded.

"Bull shit," Frank sighed, and he heard his father make a tisk noise.

"We're getting you sized for the wedding today," Mr. Iero mentioned.

"That sounds exciting," Frank's sarcasm was heavy.

"The color theme is gold and periwinkle," Frank didn't know whether to be disgusted or impressed that his father knew what color 'periwinkle' was. He settled on disgusted.

"Exciting and colorful, joy oh joy," Frank sighed.

"You know, I'm getting really sick of your attitude," Mr. Iero snapped, and Frank sat up straight and turned on his father.

"My apologies, _father_. I didn't mean to_ fucking_ offend you," Frank spat through his teeth.

"Watch your mouth," the older man scolded.

"I'll need a mirror then," Frank responded.

"You're pushing me really close to doing something that neither of us will like much, especially you, young man," Mr. Iero warned.

"Oh save your threats old man!" Frank rolled his eyes. "Why the fuck is it that every time we're together you threaten the same thing? If you haven't noticed, I'm not fucking intimidated. So save your act,"

"We used to be close," Mr. Iero sighed. "Do you remember that?"

"If you're talking about before the divorce then no, I was three," Frank growled. _No Dad,_ Frank thought. _I'm not over that yet._

"Later," Mr. Iero said. "We used to do things together a lot when you were a kid,"

"And then you met the prostitu- oops," Frank's hand flew to his mouth after he'd said most of the word.

"Excuse me?" Mr. Iero snapped, sentiment over. "What did you just call her?"

"Nothing," Frank lied.

"That's what I thought. You're pushing it close. There's nothing wrong with Carla," Mr. Iero was gripping the steering wheel tight now.

"Besides the fact that she's totally whipped you," Frank sighed.

"You're getting whipped here in a second," Mr. Iero warned.

"Ooooh, Dad. I'm shaking," Frank rolled his eyes again. "Please don't belt me!" he mocked. "I'll be a good little boy! Ever since you've met Carla you've started changing," Frank sighed. "You used to be really cool. Now it's like I don't even know you,"

"I'm trying to make some changes in my life. Everybody has to grow up eventually," Mr. Iero explained.

"You don't have to change though," Frank sighed, feeling suddenly really sad. "Sometimes I wish I still had my punk-ass father to talk to," he confessed. "I feel like THAT version of you would have understood me more. Instead of calling me a faggot..."

"I didn't mean that," Mr. Iero sighed guitily.

"Because you didn't know I was listening," Frank retorted. "So what if I wear make-up, Dad? There's nothing wrong with that. It's individualism,"

"It will make people think things..."

"Then let them. And I'm not gay. I swear to God I'm not gay. But would you really be that ashamed if I was?" Frank asked. "Homophobia is gay," he muttered under his breath.

"I just worry about you," Frank's father said. "I want you to have a good life,"

"You didn't answer the question. And if you wanted what's best then you wouldn't have left Mom and I. We sure could use your help sometimes," Frank grumbled.

"You know your mother and I could not stay together," Mr. Iero explained. Frank slumped back down against the window.

"You still didn't answer the question," Frank sighed.

The car stopped and Frank realized they'd made it to the bridal shop already. Now it was time to go get measured for a nice periwinkle tux. And then throw up all over the periwinkle tux. _Ew, who's idea was this?_

_ !_

Frank sat in his bedroom at his father's house. It wasn't _his _bedroom at all. The walls and ceiling were all painted a boring baby blue color; periwinkle blue to be exact. Around the perimeter near the ceiling was a ribbon of little sail boats. The floors were hard wood that was a reddish color. Being as Frank was almost never there the décor remained the same. Blue comforter with fluffy blue pillows, little sail boats everywhere. He wasn't allowed to put up any of the band posters that had been in his room at his father's old apartment because it would "ruin the paint."

It had been a bad day. Frank hadn't exactly_ fought_ with his father after they left the car, but the tone had been rigid all day. Carla had tried being nice but Frank's mood was already ruined by the car ride. In the end, Carla and Frank Sr. only talked happily to each other while Frank stayed silent. It always turned out like that anymore. His father used to be so lax about everything. It was just him and his dad, staying out of each other's way or even hanging out, but never fighting. Carla ruined it, and there was no going back.

Frank sighed, turning The Misfits up louder on his cd player and securing in his ear buds. He tried to just lay there and listen to his music but he was too restless. Frank decded to go to the kitchen to get food, since he didn't eat any of the gross, non-vegan meatloaf Carla had made. He'd flat out refused it and sat with his arms crossed all through dinner. _Sure_, he confessed that he was being a real dick, but his father hadn't apologized yet, so why should he?

Frank had some trouble finding vegan food in his father's fridge so he finally settled for some plain corn chips and a coke. He began his track up to his room but paused right outside his dad's bedroom door when he heard a noise. Frank heard Carla's voice, a cry, and a very lustful moan… _Ew, just ew!_ It was a good thing that Frank hadn't eaten yet because he would have lost it. He hurried back to his room and slammed the door, agitated that they pick the night he was over to screw each other. He was a teenager, he understood being horny, but Damn! Couldn't they wait? He threw the chips down and collapsed on his bed, no longer hungry.

Frank picked up his phone and decided to text Gerard or Mikey, see if they could hang. When he turned it on he saw there was already a text from Mikey. He smiled as he opened it because Mikey always managed to cheer Frank up.

_Is Gee w/ u?_ The message read.

_No, wats goin on? _Frank texted back and awaited the buzzing that meant a response.

_Sumthin bad happened… G ran off and we havnt seen him_

_ Wat happnd?_

_ Grandma died:'(_

_ Holy shit_

_ Ya_

_ Im comin ovr_

_ K_

_!_

Mrs. Way was freaking out. Where was her baby boy!? Mr. Way had called the police. Gerard was emotionally unstable and they needed to find him. Mikey Way sat on the couch and stared blankly at the tv. The news was on but he wasn't watching it. They covered stories of shootings and murder, of war in Afghanistan, and then something very stupid about twinkies or something. Didn't they have anything better to talk about? Why was the news only tragedies? It was depressing. There was enough tragedy to talk about. Frank had just texted him saying he'd be over, and though it was sweet o him, Mikey wondered what good it would do. He sighed. He couldn't believe Grandma Elena was really gone. Mikey guessed that's why Gee had run off. He had to see for himself, make sure that it was real. It was too hard to just believe.

A knock came to the door and everyone jumped. Mr. Way rushed to answer it with his wife and son in tow behind him. When he opened the door there was a cop on the other side, standing next to Gerard who was wrapped in a blanket.

"This belong to you?" the officer asked.

Mikey and his mom pounced on Gerard, wrapping him in hugs as they pulled him inside.

"Oh Gee, thank God!" Mikey exclaimed.

"Baby! Where have you been?" his mother cried.

Gerard remained silent but the officer answered for him… "We found him breaking curfew, wondering down the interstate. He hasn't spoken much besides to tell the address. Is everything okay here?" the officer was obviously concerned.

"We recently had a death in the family," Mr. Way explained. "Lost his grandmother to brain cancer. We'll keep a closer eye on him. Thank you for your help officer,"

"No problem at all," the officer turned and walked out the door to his squad car and drove away. They watched him go through the window.

"Gerard, what happened?" Mr. Way asked his eldest.

Gerard breathed a great sigh as he stared off into space, then his eyes settled on Mikey and he spoke. "She's gone," he whispered, as if only to his baby brother. As if he had read the doubts in Mikey's mind. "She's really gon," Mikey wrapped his arms tight around Gerard as he began to cry.

"Sh…" Mikey soothed. "Shh, it's okay, Gee,"

"N-no…" Gerard choked with a voice thick of tears and hoarse from too much crying. _How did he have any tears left?_ Mikey wondered. "She's never coming home," Gerard said, and from the complete sadness and hopelessness in Gerard's voice, Mikey began to cry again too.

"Okay, that's enough boys," Mr. Way coughed, obviously uncomfortable. Mikey started crying harder for reasons he didn't understand and he felt Gerard stiffen in his arms. He understood part of Gerard's anger, how his father could seem heartless.

Gerard glared daggers at his father before breaking away from Mikey and sprinting up the stairs. Mikey heard his door slam and he tried to control bitter sobs that shook his entire body. Finally he couldn't take it anymore, he felt ashamed in front of his father in this state. He too ran up to his room to hide.

!

"Go wake Ed up," Ray's mother instructed as she stood at the stove cooking bacon for everyone's breakfast. Bacon was always a Sunday morning tradition. Ray pushed himself up from the couch and down the short hall to their room. He didn't bother knocking first, it was his room after all. He would have to risk walking in on Ed jacking off or something for the sake of proving a point.

He pushed open the door and stared at Ed's snoozing form. For the first time ever it was silent. Ed always snored.

"Get your ass up. I know you're faking," Ray said rather loudly. Ed didn't respond and Ray rolled his eyes. He was in no mood for games. "Bacon time, Eddy," he tempted. When Ed remained still Ray picked up a pillow from Tito's bed, closest to the door, and threw it at Ed. It his Ed squarely, but he didn't stir.

"Ed?" Ray asked, a bit concerned but more pissed since he was certain his brother was playing. He walked across the room and shook Ed's shoulder. Nothing. He rolled Ed over onto his back to face him. His face was pale and his lips had a slightly blue tint. Ray held his hand down a centimeter from Ed's nose to feel for breath. Nothing. As a last resort, he pressed his ear against Ed's t-shirt covered chest. He didn't feel breathing and he didn't hear a heartbeat, but Ed was still warm. Ray straightened slowly, as if in shock, and shuddered. _No_, his mind thought. On Ed's bedside table sat the culprit, cocain powder in a bag, a small razor, and a rolled dollar bill. _NO!_ Ray's mind demanded again.

"M-Mom!" Ray yelled as he ran out to the hallway. "MOM! Call an ambulance! Hurry!"

!

Bob couldn't sleep. He rolled over again and stared at the dark window. The creepy thought came to him that there might be something outside his window, but he could just never know, so he rolled over again with a sigh. He stared at the red digital letters of his clock and felt his eyelids grow heavy. Now if only he could relax his mind so he could sleep.

He couldn't stop thinking. First, how was he going to hide the news of his mom's lover from Danni. She couldn't find out, it would crush her. Second, how was he going to hide it from Dad? And should he? Many times Bob had contemplated texting or calling his father, but he just couldn't force himself too. He shouldn't find out that way. Thoughts still buzzing through his mind he finally managed to pass out from pure exhaustion. He didn't sleep well, it was very restless.


	41. Chapter 41

Frank parked his father's 'borrowed' car in his mom's garage. He knew he'd go through hell for that one later. His mom wouldn't care but his father would be livid. Of course he wouldn't focus on the important thing, like his best friend's grandmother DYING! Gerard was sure to be torn up. No, he'd be more than torn up. He'd be absolutely crushed.

Frank hurried across the street and opened the door to the Way residence freely. He was freaking family, he could show up whenever he wanted. On the other side of the door Frank found the Way parents sitting in the living room, obviously having serious conversation. He smiled sheepishly for interrupting them.

The two adults spoke at the same time.

"Now isn't a good time, Frank,"- Don.

"Oh thank God! Come on in honey," -Donna.

Mrs. Way batted away her husband absentmindedly and gave Frank a warm hug. "The boys are up in their rooms, if you want to go see them," she said. "Thank you so much for coming, you're such a good friend to Gerard."

Up at the top of the stairs Frank heard Mr. and Mrs. Way talking quietly amungst themselves, either about Frank or about their sons. Frank wasn't sure, he didn't care, Gerard was important right now.

Frank had known the Way brothers for a long time, he and Gerard were eight years old. He knew Mikey and Gerard very well by now. He knew how both boys could get. Mikey would fair this okay-ishly. He'd survive. Gerard would have a harder time with it, especially at first. That's why Franky HAD to be there for him.

He didn't bother knocking on Gerard's door, just opened it up and walked in. Gerard was sitting on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. His shoulders shook violently and he kept his head burried in his arms. Frank wasted no time in being at Gerard's side. He set and arm around Gerard's shoulders and sat there in silence, knowing nothing he could say would make it better.

"F-Franky..." Gerard hiccuped out after a few minutes of silence.

"I'm here," Frank responded softly.

"She can't be gone," Gerard whispered. "They told me a month..." Frank didn't know anything to say that wouldn't set Gerard off, so he once again stayed silent. Gerard spoke again. "She's the most important person in the world to me. She supported me in everything. She understood me. She can't just be gone,"

"Gee," Frank gulped out, tears forming in his own eyes.

"I don't know what to do, Franky," Gerard sniffed. "I've never felt this empty before," Suddenly the black haired boy lept to his feet and took to pacing the room. His voice went from sounding broken and alone to broken and angry. Still broken, still sad.

"How could she have done this to me!?" he snapped. "She knew how important she was... she just fucking gave up! She always told me to never give up, ever! And look what she did. What am I supposed to do!? My dad is completely heartless, he doesn't give a fuck! He never has, about anything! God, I fucking hate him. Grandma always took my side when we fought, ALWAYS! Dear God! Why the fuck did you take her from me!?" Gerard yelled up at his ceiling and sunk down to the floor again, tears running down his cheeks. He pounded on the carpeted floor with an angry fist, over and over.

_He's going to hurt himself,_ Frank decided and hurried over to Gerard. He grabbed his fist in a hand and gently pulled his friend up to sit on the edge of his bed. He wrapped his arm around Gerard's shoulders and rubbed his back, humming soothingly.

"Gee, I know it sucks. I know it really fucking sucks now," Frank said. "I just need to you breath for me, okay? Just breath and try to calm down,"

"How can I calm to fuck down!?" Gerard demanded, moving to stand, but Frank tightened his grip around Gerard and pulled him back down. Gerard started struggling, as if possessed, and lashed out against Frank. He was doing anything to get out of Frank's hold, and Frank was doing everything to keep him there.

Gerard's struggling sent both boys to the floor, and Frank kept a firm hold on Gerard. He managed to grab both of Gerard's arms and lay on top of him, trying to keep him still.

"Gee, calm it!" he demanded, staring into Gerard's eyes. Their faces were only inches from each others and their breathing intertwined. Gerard stared up into Franky's eyes and felt his chest get really warm. He gulped in air and felt his face grow warm in blush. Seeing Gerard's blush made Frank entirely too self conscious and he shot up to sit. Gerard sat up next to him, a lot more slowly.

"I'm sorry," Gerard whispered.

"Me too," Frank sighed. "I shouldn't be so harsh,"

"And I shouldn't be completely insane. I just feel so... lost,"

"I really wish I could make everything better, Gee," Frank whispered. "I really do. I wish I could just snap my fingers and everything would be okay again. If I could I'd do it, no questions asked. But I can't..."

"I know," Gerard didn't have any more tears fall down his face. Maybe he was all cried out finally. "That's the hardest part. She's really left me,"

!

Ray sat in the waiting room of the hospital with Tito at his side. His mother had gone off somewhere, unable to keep still, and his father was outside smoking. He couldn't get the image of Ed out of his mind. His unmoving body, how unnaturally pale his face had been. For crying out loud, they were fucking latino! They weren't supposed to be pale!

The doctors had managed to get Ed's heart started again. Apparently sometimes cocaine sent it's users into a 'fake death.' Ed's heart had stopped, but not permenantly. They'd done tests and found a butt load of alcohol in his blood as well as way too much of the illegal drug. The two hadn't played nice in Ed's body, but he should be okay.

"I swear off drinking forever," Ray muttered, and Tito looked up at him.

"You drink?" Tito asked.

"I have," Ray sighed. "I don't think I realized how serious any of that could get, until now. I mean, they talk about it at school and stuff, but you never think it will happen to you, or to your family. It's always supposed to happen to someone else."

"It's scary, isn't it?" Tito said. "I didn't think he was ever going to wake up,"

"Me either," Ray said.

"I can't imagine what if must have been like, finding him like that," Tito sighed as he leaned back in his cheap waiting room chair. "You handled it well,"

"I freaked out!" Ray chuckled. "I sounded like a freaking baby! Mommy Mommy! Help!"

"Yeah, but you are the baby, Afray," Tito smiled as he draped an arm around his little brother. "Everything's going to be okay. In the end."

!

The sun blared down on Gerard incredibly hot. Way too hot for freaking September. The street seemed to be calling to him, so Gerard wondered into it. He couldn't help himself as he walked down the road, unsure of where he was going. Without realizing it he stumbled through Frank's front door and into his living room. But it wasn't Frank's house, it was a hospital.

"What?" Gerard's voice sounded foreign to his ears.

He proceeded to walk through the halls until they turned into the hall of his grandmother's old house. Gerard didn't even question it, he just kept walking. The door at the end of the hall was calling to him, the one that had once been his and Mikey's. The door pulsed out at him, the door nob glittered. Hesitantly Gerard reached out and grabbed the door nob, which was surprisingly cold. He shivered, but opened it.

The room was empty except for a coffin that sat right under the window. Gerard found himself standing before it. He stared down at the beautiful wood and a tear fell from his eyes as he thought who must be in there. His grandmother, who else?

Gerard thrust open the lid, but instead of Elena he found Frank in the coffin. "Franky?"

Frank's eyes shot open and he sat up, grabbing Gerard and pulling him into the coffin with him. Gerard lay awkwardly, pressed against Frank in the small space, but he didn't mind too much. He felt his pants become too tight as Frank kissed him, searching Gerard's mouth with his tongue. Gerard kissed him back passionately.

Suddenly though he wasn't in the coffin anymore and the person wasn't Frank. It was Lin-z, the girl from school. Gerard pushed her away from him and she scowled.

"What are you doing, Way!?" she demanded. "That repulsed by girls? Gerard GAY, huh!?"

Suddenly she changed again and she was Franky.

"Ew, no! I can't! I'm sorry, Gerard... but..." Frank said, before turning and walking away. He left Gerard completely alone in a room of all black. From nowhere a parade marched in. They wore black jackets and were pale. Some had gas masks. They ignored Gerard and marched past, holding the coffin from earlier up high. This time it was Elena in the coffin. Gerard just knew. He chased after the parade, but he couldn't catch up to them. He tripped on the uneven stone and lay on the ground, which was now soft carpet. He felt it was hard to breath, but there was also a pleasant precence around him. Something- someone, was laying on his chest. He smiled in his sleep and rolled slightly, wrapping his arms over whoever was with him.

Gerard opened his eyes and woke up gently, confused. His arms were wrapped tight around Frank, who was sleeping soundly. They were both laying on Gerard's bed, which wasn't a strange occurance, but the dream sure had been. So was the hard on in Gerard's boxers, which was rather annoying. Gerard carefully untangled himself from Frank and sat up. He stared around his room. There was no coffin, no parade, no Lin-z, and no Elena. But Frank was there, breathing soundly in sleep with his mouth open slightly. It was cold in Gerard's room, so he went to the closet to retrieve two blankets, then lay back down next to Frank. He draped the blankets over them, snuggled back down, and fell asleep again. This time he didn't dream.


	42. Chapter 42

Frank groaned as his math test was passed back. D. Big fat D. He was totally going to bomb this class. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if Frank could freaking focus! But today it was worse than normal. His mind was clouded by thoughts of a strange dream he'd had about Gerard. The weird thing was he could barely even remember it, but it continued to haunt his thoughts.

No one could ever doubt the fact that Frank loved Gerard. They were like brothers, together since they were little. There wasn't an option of Frank not caring about him. But there had always been the jokes, ever since Junior High, the taunts, the suggestion that they were gay. They'd always laughed about it and blown if off. But Frank didn't even know anymore.

Gerard was his best friend. And Frank admitted reluctantly to himself that Gerard was an attractive guy. But if anyone ever found out that Frank was bisexual... _no, it can't happen!_ The other thing tearing at Frank's mind was Jamia, who sat two seats up from him in this class. She was gorgeous, Frank sighed, and he was just earning his was back into her good graces. He really liked her and wanted to be with her, so he couldn't let any feelings he had for Gerard get in the way.

Because no matter what Gerard would be his best friend. Other feelings could ruin that. Frank also knew he and Jamia could never be 'just friends.' There wasn't an option of that with the way he felt about her.

!

His mom had told him he didn't have to go to school, but of course he had to be an idiot. Mikey thought that if he went to school it would get his mind off of things. He'd been wrong. Mikey was extremely testy. If someone looked at him funny he'd burst into tears. He'd just cussed out a girl in the hallway, and he felt like a complete dick. Now Mikey Way was hiding in a bathroom stall during his third hour class, bawling his eyes out. There was no way he could make it through the rest of the day, so Mikey decided it would be best to leave now.

He wiped his eyes again and found the courage to leave his hiding place. Out there he found Peter finishing up at a urinal and he flinched back. _Shit,_ his heart went crazy in his chest and his palms started sweating. Even though Peter hadn't been the one to do damage to him last time, he'd been a witness, and Mikey lifted a hand to the nearly healed bruise that decorated his cheek and the healing scab. Fear fluttered through him as he remembered the way he'd slammed the door in Peter's face. Now the teen, who was much bigger and stronger than Mikey, had him alone in the bathroom and completely volnerable.

Mikey didn't know whether he wanted to cry or start a fight, so he stuck to sniffling pathetically and squeezing fists at his sides. He would be ready to fight if he needed to. Maybe adrenaline could get him through it. Maybe he should take karate lessons in the future.

"Hey Mikey," Peter said, looking over at the younger boy. His voice wasn't mean, and a strange emotion on his face caught Mikey off guard. Was that... guilt? "You okay?" Peter sounded genuinely concerned, and Mikey was suspicious.

"I'm fine," he choked out. His voice revolted against him and croaked from the lump in his throat.

"You don't look fine," Peter chuckled. He placed a hand gently on Mikey's shoulder, but Mikey flinched back. Peter removed his hand slowly, a hurt expression decorating his face.

"I'm sorry," Peter sighed.

"For what?" Mikey choked out, his voice thick of tears that he was holding back. _Fuck, why am I going to cry again!?_

"For being a major ass hole," Peter responded, and Mikey lifted his gaze from the floor in surprise. "That whole, 'can't talk to you in public' shit, and not stopping Kevin from..." Peter cleared his voice and Mikey removed his gaze again. His cheeks flushed pink in embarrassment and he shifted his bangs down over his eyes. "I should have stopped him. I shouldn't have just ran like that... but I didn't think I could handle seeing him force you too..." he didn't finish that sentence either. "I should have helped you,"

"I guess," Mikey shrugged. "Honestly I don't really care what you do or not do anymore. Since I'm insignificant to you, why should you mean anything to me?" Mikey said sadly.

"If it means anything, I told Ms. Sprouce what Kevin did..." Peter said. Once again Mikey was surprised.

"You talked to the principal!?" Mikey was shocked.

"Kevin is in some deep shit now," Peter smiled maliciously. "I don't think he'll be messing with you guys anymore,"

"Thanks," Mikey whispered quietly. "But isn't Kevin your friend?"

"Yeah, but I don't like him anyways," the logic didn't make sense to Mikey, but he pretended to understand anyways. "Cindy and I broke up today," Peter sighed again. He sure was sighing a lot. Mikey stared up at him with big, hazel eyes. At least Peter was distracting him.

"Why?" Mikey asked, curious and monotone, as if he didn't care. He didn't really care if he sounded like a douche bag. He hadn't forgiven Peter yet.

"We had our differences," Peter shrugged, trying to portray that it didn't hurt him as much as it really did. Mikey wasn't buying it. "She has her eyes on someone else now,"

"Who!?" Mikey was anxious to hear this. What man could possibly have more sex appeal to a girl than Peter!? He was fucking GOD of the school.

Peter smiled slyly. "You know him," he said. "Keep a close eye on your brother, Mikey. I don't want him getting hurt,"

"Gerard?" Mikey's jaw dropped. "No-fucking-way,"

"Yes, Gerard," Peter said, his eyes looking sad agian. "Be careful, she likes to play with guys. Warn him, will ya?"

"Yeah," Mikey sighed. "He probably won't be thinking much about girls anyways right now..." Mikey said sadly. "He has enough to think about,"

"Does that relate at all to why you were crying in the bathroom?" Peter asked.

"I wasn't crying!" Mikey demanded, glaring up at the big oaf in front of him.

"Sorry," Peter chuckled.

"It's just my grandma..." Mikey sighed, feeling the lump in his throat return.

"She sick?" Peter asked.

"Dead,"

"Oh," Peter's smile fell off and he stared down at Mikey with pity. "I'm sorry. Were you close?"

"Yeah, but not as close as her and Gerard. He's really torn up right now," Mikey sighed. He felt a hot tear roll down his cheek and damned it. It was soon joined by another one. Why had he even told Peter that? It was none of his business anyways. "I-I'm sorry," he stuttered. "I've got to go,"

Mikey kept his eyes on the floor as he pushed past Peter and out of the bathroom. "Wait, you need a ride home!?" Peter called after him, but Mikey ignored him. He didn't bother stopping at his locker. He just stormed out of the school building and through the court yard. Once on the sidewalk his tears got heavier and he started running. He ran the whole way home, and when he collapsed on the porch he couldn't breath. He lay there with sobs rattling his chest, trying to breath. _I'm not okay. I'm not okay..._

!

Gerard didn't do much of anything on Monday. He was suspended, so he couldn't go to school, not like he would have anyways. He woke up when Frank got up to leave for school, and then he fell asleep again. Gerard woke up again around eleven and stumbled his way to the kitchen moaning something incoherently about coffee.

After a cup of coffee and apathy Gerard wandered to the living room and collapsed onto the floor. Not onto the couch, but onto the floor. Did he have a reason? Nope. He was so exhausted that all he wanted to do was sleep, but he'd been in bed too long and was restless. Obviously he wasn't going to sleep anymore so he was trapped in being awake and stuck thinking.

His thoughts were so confused and so fucked up. He found a scratch paper on the coffee table to his right with a pen, and he tried writing down his thoughts to clear them.

1) he was sad that Elena had died

2) he was trying to face the fact that Elena had died

3) whenever he thought too much about it he got angry

4) he didn't think he could cry anymore

5) Elena couldn't really be dead, it had to be a bad dream

6) he knew it wasn't a bad dream

7) his thoughts kept drifting to Frank

8) he'd kissed Frank in a dream

9) he wasn't gay but he wasn't straight...

10) He was just messed up

11) Mikey's on the porch...

_Wait, why is Mikey home?_

Gerard pushed himself off the floor and went to the door. Sure enough Mikey was sitting on the porch, knees pulled up to his chest and head nuzzled down. How had Gerard known Mikey was out there? Intuition perhaps...

"What are you doin here Mikey?" Gerard asked gently, surprised by how raw his voice was from non-use over the past twelve hours. Mikey wasn't responding, he wasn't moving, he wasn't even crying.

"Come on, Mikes," Gerard knelt down next to his little brother. "Got to talk to me, man,"

Mikey sniffed and mumbled something that Gerard couldn't make out. It sounded like "Ah gaven uh titty fay,"

"Huh?" Gerard asked.

This time Mikey picked his head up. "I'm having a shitty day," he said. His eyes were red and his cheeks were wet. He looked out of breath and exhausted. Like total shit, actually. "I keep forgetting and thinking it was all a bad dream," Mikey sighed. "But then remember and it all just hits me. I'm being such an emo kid today,"

"You're not an emo kid, Mikey," Gerard sighed, hoisting his brother to his feet.

"I was crying in the bathroom," Mikey confessed. "And Ms. Kelly gave me a hug, and I burst into tears,"

"Ms. Kelly, your math teacher!?" Gerard asked in disbelief. Ms. Kelly was hot!

"She said she was worried about me," Mikey said. "Gee, I feel like I'm losing my head,"

Gerard sighed knowingly and wrapped an arm around Mikey's shoulders. He squeezed him tight as he lead them through the door and closed it behind them. The two collapsed on the floor of Gerard's room doing a whole lot of nothing and everything. Gerard sketched a unicorn to cheer Mikey up, while the younger way flipped through some of Gerard's fangoria. It didn't really entertain them much, but between the angry tune of the Misfits playing in the background and their own talking they were able to forget, at least for a little bit. Mikey told Gerard about Cindy, and they both laughed about it, but Mikey saw a little light in Gerard's eyes. It must be nice, knowing someone like THAT liked you. Cindy was SMOKIN. God, Gerard was lucky, even if she was a bitch.

Then a knock came on the door and their mother walked in, looking sad yet trying to smile. She failed. They must have been up there longer than Gerard had thought, since his mother didn't get off of work til 5. "Hey boys," she said calmly. "I just wanted to tell you that the funeral is scheduled for Friday," she said. "We talked to the nursing home today and we're having a Catholic one at St. Anthony's."

Gerard glared up at his mother, angered agian by the mention of his grandmother, especially in the context that she was dead. He saw Mikey's bottom lip tremble, but Mikey simply turned his back on them and buried his face in a pillow.

"Effing brilliant idea," Gerard sneered sarcasticaly. "Grandma hated catholicism. It's supposed to rain on Friday,"

"I know you're taking this hard, Gerard..." Donna started. Gerard lept to his feet.

"I'm not taking this hard!" Gerard demanded angrily. "Don't act like I'm some poor creature," he spat.

Donna sighed and left the room without another word, shutting the door behind her. Gerard spun and punched the wall in his rage.

"OW!" he hissed, followed by some very colorful language and he cradeled his hurt hand. He was supposed to break a whole in the wall, but he thought he'd broken his hand instead. He punched his bed several times before screaming into a pillow and collapsing onto the matress. He lay there on top of the covers with the pillow pressed over his face. Maybe he'd fucking suffocate. That would be nice.

Gerard felt a weight on the bed and peeked out from under the pillow. Mikey lay next to him and rested his head on his older brother's shoulder. They fell asleep again and slept soundly for several hours.


	43. Chapter 43

Bob pretended he didn't see his mom and Carl sneaking around. He tried to ignore it when he found the toilet seat up. Nope, he didn't leave it like that. He was civilized God dang it. Bob also didn't act like anything was up, especially when Danni was around. The kid was smart, and she would certainly notice if Bob just stopped talking to their mother. Everything had to stay fine.

But when Bob was alone with his mother he didn't talk. He barely looked at her, he was so angry. How could she do that to Dad? They had been together for twenty years! Sure he was away a lot, but didn't she love him!? How long had she been doing this?

"I don't know what to do to make you not angry with me," Bob's mother sighed as she and Bob stood in the kitchen together. Bob rolled his eyes when her gaze wasn't on him and regretted coming downstairs for a coke. He should have just stayed hiding.

"I'm not angry with you," Bob half spat/ half growled as he grabbed a coke and power walked out of the room. _Wow that was convincing. _He hurried back upstairs to his bed room. Then he sat on his bed and stared at the wall and wondered what the hell he was supposed to do.

!

They were fighting again. They were always fighting these days. Ray hid in his room with his ear buds plugged in and ipod turned up pretty loud, but he could still hear them. Glass crashed and someone yelled. He could no longer make out the words, but the house was small and the walls were thin. He could hear everything.

Ray wished that Tito hadn't taken the car, or that he had at least taken Ray with him. Anything to get him out of this house. Ray smiled to himself when he remembered how nice it had been at Frank's house. Mrs. Iero was so nice. There wasn't any yelling or anything. Ray picked up his phone and texted Frank, seeing if he could come over. Frank agreed eagerly.

Ray knew his parents wouldn't let him out, and he didn't want to go through the war zone anyways. He remembered how Ed had taught him to escape using the fire escape when he was younger, so Ray slid his cell into his pocket and hefted up the window. He climbed through, snuck down the fire escape, and started his walk to Frank's house. It was about five miles, but Ray could use the excercise. It wasn't dark yet, so he wasn't likely to get mugged.

!

Gerard woke up with a start. He'd had another dream. It had once again been about Frank. Gerard knew something didn't feel right and when he looked down a boner had made it's presense noticed. _Fucking perfect,_ Gerard groaned to himself. Mikey was still sleeping next to him, out cold perhaps, but still there. It would just be creepy for Gerard to take care of business with his brother in the room. Ew. He slumped to the bathroom to take care of it.

Gerard looked at the clock while he was in there. It was ten p.m. meaning he and Mikey had slept right through dinner. Gerard also knew he wouldn't be getting any rest for a while. Damn, his sleep schedule was going to get more fucked up than normal.

Gerard left the bathroom and started down stairs to get some water or something. On the stairs he could hear voices from below. Gerard stopped, sitting down on the stairs and hiding behind the rails like he used to when he was a little boy, waiting for Santa to show up. Obviously now he knew it wasn't as clever a hiding spot as he once suspected, but he didn't care much. His parents were talking down stairs.

"I feel so bad for them, Don... I'm worried," his mother's voice said.

"Don't worry about them. They'll be fine," Donald didn't sound very concerned, and Gerard cursed him silently.

"I'm not so sure," Donna sighed. "Maybe we should go to therapy," _Therapy my ass!_

"We don't need therapy. Our sons aren't that fucked up,"

"You can't honestly believe everything is okay here?"

"It will get better!" Don snapped. "I'm not paying some paumpy arse to listen to Gerard whine," _ Fuck you too, Daddy dearest._

"Don't go picking on him!"_ Go Mom! _"That is exactly what I'm talking about! Your two's relationship is horrible!"

"We don't even have a relationship!"

"Doesn't that bother you?"

"Until he gets his nose out of the air and grows up I don't believe I can have a civilized relationship with him," Don admitted.

"You could try harder," Their voices dropped and Gerard could no longer make out their words. _Shiiiit talk louder!_ he urged silently.

"You know what therapy means? It means there's something wrong with us!" Don snapped. "There's nothing wrong with us!"

"Open you effing eyes, Don!" Donna snapped. "We aren't okay anymore! We haven't been for a while!"

"What? You aren't happy?"

"Honestly no, I'm not. Our boys are miserable and you're an ass,"

"Maybe I should just get out then!" Don yelled, making Gerard jump. _Wait, what!? They'd never talked divorce before... holy shit!_

"Maybe you should!" Donna yelled back, but Gerard heard a quiver in her voice. She was crying. Gerard was tempted to run down there and knock his old man out. How dare ANYONE ever make his mother cry!? But Gerard didn't move. He was still shocked.

"I'm sorry," Don said suddenly, his voice breaking down. Was he crying too? _Good, he deserves to cry._ "I'm sorry baby," he repeated. "It's all just so hard. I can't believe... maybe we do need some help?"

Gerard picked himself up off the stairs silently and crept back to his bedroom. He walked past his desk and his hip bumped against his notebook, which fell to the floor being louder than necessary. He was tempted to shush it, but then he realized it would just make things louder, and he didn't want to wake Mikey up. He bent over to pick it up and two things fell from the pages. Gerard picked those up as well. When he looked down in the poor light from the street lamp out his window he couldn't recognize the things in his hands. Gerard switched on his desk lamp and sat down to look them over.

The first one made Gerard's stomach flip. It was the picture, the sketch of Frank, from the very beginning of school. God it had only been a month, but it felt like forever ago. Gerard looked curiously at his calender and saw it was the end of September, almost October. The date on the bottom of the sketch said late August. Yup, a month. So many eternities.

The sketch had never been finished and Gerard decided he would take care of that, but not before he looked in the mysterious envelope that was tickling his fancy. He couldn't remember having an envelope in his notebook.

Gerard carefully peeled it open and pulled out the papers inside. There were two pages, both done in wonderful swirly cursive. It was Elena's handwriting. Gerard felt the lump return.

One was a letter, and it started "Dear Gerard." Gerard put it down, face down, on his desk. He couldn't read it, not yet. He was dead curious, but he just couldn't force himself. Gerard wanted to hear her voice so bad, but if he read it now it would just convince him that she was still there. He was working to come to reality. It was too soon for the letter.

Gerard was about to do the same with the second peice of paper, but his eyes betrayed him and he began reading it before he could hide it. It was a poem, or a song. And as Gerard read it he felt tears grow thick and his vision blurred. Damn disrupting salt water, how could he read when his eyes were blurred. The poem thing was beautiful, really. Gerard read it four times and continued to cry before his eyes caught a note in the margin.

_"I know you'll sing it beautifully, baby. At my funeral I hope. I want those bastards to know what I went through. But more importantly I want you to understand. I never wanted to leave you. I never wanted to give up. But the pain was just too much. I love you, my darling vampire."_

His tears turned to sobs that shook his whole body. God he missed her so much. Clutching the song in his hands he crawled back into bed next to Mikey and cried himself to sleep, since he was suddenly overtaken with exhaustion again. As he fell into darkness a melody found its way into his mind, and he hummed it under his breath, wondering how it would sound with her song. It had to be beautiful. It had to be strong, yet soft. It had to be perfect, just like Elena.


	44. Chapter 44

"He's going to rehab," Ray finally spills. He was sitting in Frank's house, on the couch, with his head in his hands. Frank's sitting next to him and has a supporting hand on Ray's back. Normally Frank wasn't the one they went to when shit got hard, because nobody believed Frank would take things seriously. But Ray wouldn't feel right talking to Gerard about this, since Gerard was going through a lot more than he was right then. He hadn't known Bob very long, and Mikey was going through the same thing as Gerard. So that left Frank. Ray had known Frank since forever, back when Ray didn't have an afro, and Franky had sparkles in his eyes and kool-aide as a mustache.

So it's not like Ray didn't trust Frank. It's not like he didn't know him well enough. It's just he was afraid Frank wouldn't get it, but Frank totally got it. Frank more than got it. He let Ray spill his fucking guts all over the coffee table. Ray told every secret he'd been keeping; all the nasty skeletons he'd been pushing back into a closet. They all came out, and Frank freaking danced with them.

"Rehab is good man," Frank said in a soothing voice. "It's gonna make him better,"

"He shouldn't need to get better. I can't believe that I never knew about it," Ray shook his head in disbelief.

"It seems like this shit is going to last forever, huh?" Frank asked, and Ray nodded. It really did feel like that. Forever. "But things get better. It can't feel the same way forever, because stuff is going to happen and everything is going to move on. So it can't last forever then," Frank was even proud of his own wisdom on that.

"Thanks Franky," Ray managed to crack a smile. "You've made me feel a lot better,"

"Hey, no problem man!" Frank smiled wide. God it was so easy to make him smile. "What else am I good for?"

"Making food?" Ray gave Frank his most pathetic looking eyes as a way to beg. He hadn't realized how hungry he was, since he hadn't really eaten for about two days. Frank punched him playfully.

"Yeah, I'm thinkin cajun," Frank stood and waltzed into the kitchen. Ray was a bit concerned when he saw fire errupt from whatever Frank was cooking, but after deciding the house wouldn't burn he relaxed. Ray leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes, and it didn't take long for him to fall asleep.

!

**:The Day of The Funeral:**

Gerard wasn't making eye contact with any of the relatives who were talking to him. He limply shook the hands of those who greeted him and commented how tall he was. He thanked the people who gave their empathy for Elena's death. And all through it Gerard did not cry. He was proud of that.

He'd talked to the priest ahead of time about performing the song, and he agreed as long as there was no repeat of their last performance in the church. Gerard promised it would be nothing like that.

Gerard couldn't believe how suddenly famous he was. Who were all these old people, and why did they all know his name? How did so many of them know he was close to his grandmother? Why were there so many people who considered Gerard part of their life, but Gerard didn't even know they existed?

Mikey couldn't go up to the casket alone. It was open, and Elena was dressed at her best, even wearing her favorite hat upon her head. Mikey couldn't go alone, so he begged Gerard to go with him. He needed to see her, so he could confirm that she was, infact, dead. Mikey held his brother's hand tightly as they approached it. It took a lot of will power for both of them to hold it together. She didn't look like herself, because she wasn't. She was a shell. She was gone. It was all so wrong. Mikey said a prayer over her and Gerard bowed his head in reverence. Then it was time for them to sit down, in the front pew, with their parents.

The funeral started and as the holy man talked Mikey couldn't stop thinking about how wrong it was. She wouldn't have wanted this kind of funeral. She wouldn't have wanted a bunch of overly dressed people bored to death by some old fat guy's sermon. It wasn't right. Knowing Grandma Elena, she would want a lot of alcohol at her funeral.

"And now Elena's grandsons would like to say some words. Gerard and Michael Way," Mikey followed Gerard's lead to the pulpit. He stood behind as his brother took the stand. Gerard, despite his horrible social awkwardness, was better at talking to groups of people. That's why he was the front man. They'd already given the sheet music to the organist, and when Mikey looked back at the older woman she gave him a smile. Mikey began taking his guitar out of the case and making sure it was prepped. They'd put together the song Elena had written and were going to play it at her funeral. Mikey on accoustic, organ in the back ground, Gerard singing.

When practicing the first few times neither of them had been able to get through half the song without losing it. It took a lot, but they'd finally got it. But now, Mikey was worried. it was actually happening, the funeral, the end. It was all becoming real. Would they be able to handle it?

Mikey looked out into the crowd of people and found Frank and Ray sitting next to his parents. They were friends, so they were invited. Frank winked at Mikey but Ray didn't notice his gaze. Finally Mikey took a deep breath and was convinced. They could fucking do this.

"So yeah, this is a song Elena wrote before her... erm... passing. S-she wanted us to perform it for you... and... the song will explain everything I'm not saying right now..." Gerard finally shifted awkwardly and looked back at Mikey, who nodded. He stepped down from the pulped and grabbed the microphone stand that had been brought out tight in both hands.

The piano started and they both breathed deep. Finally Gerard started the first line, and Mikey waited to jump in with his guitar. He listened deeply to the words Gerard was singing and felt himself become sick. God this wasn't real. This was just some sick ass dream.

"Turn away, if you could get me a drink, cause my lips are chapped and faded. Call Aunt Marie, help her gather all my things, and bury me in all my favorite colors. My grandsons and my daughters still, I will not kiss you," Mikey heard Gerard's voice catch, but he kept singing. "Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you..."

Mikey waited and then jumped in with the guitar. He wasn't very good at anything but bass, but the spotlight was on Gerard and the words flowing from his lips. Several people were already sobbing. Mikey forced himself to hold it together.

"Now turn away," Gerard's voice quivered at the next line. "Cause I'm awful just to see, cause all my hairs abandoned all my body, all my agony..." Mikey couldn't see, but he was sure tears were traveling down Gerard's cheeks now. He hoped Gerard could make it through the song okay.

"Baby I'm just soggy from the chemo," Gerard was a bit off beat and his voice cracked. "Cause counting down the days to go, it just ain't living!" Gerard's voice quivered again and his shoulders shook. "And I just hope you know," it was obvious, even from Gerard's back, that he was crying now. Mikey struggled not to. "That if you say, Goodbye today..."

Gerard stopped singing, but the organist and Mikey kept playing, stalling, hoping Gerard would jump back in. But Mikey knew he couldn't do it.

"I'd ask you to..." Gerard tried, but it was hoarse and he broke into sobs. "I-I-I'm sorry," he whispered into the microphone before he ran off, all the way down the ilse. People turned their heads as he passed them. He slammed out the thick wooden doors.

"Gerard!" Mikey called after him, keeping his guitar slung around him and taking off after his brother. Mr. Way didn't rise from his seat, nor did he turn to watch his sons go. Nobody noticed, but silently Mr. Way was crying.

"Gerard," Mikey called as he closed the big doors behind him. In the front area of the church they were alone, give an usher who quickly shuffled away and out of sight.

Gerard was standing, facing a wall, with his forhead pressed against it and his hands in fists. Tears ran down his cheeks and he trembled violently. He quickly pulled his head back and smacked it into the brick wall, a cry escaping his lips. When he went to do it again, Mikey grabbed him and pulled him back.

The younger Way had his arms wrapped awkwardly around his brother's middle, so he simply backed into a chair that was nicely placed and pulled Gerard onto his lap. As weird as that arrangement may seem it didn't really matter. If Mikey let Gerard go he might try to hurt himself again.

Gerard didn't even protest, he just sat there and cried.

"Don't do that man," Mikey said in a gentle voice.

"I'm such a fucking loser," he muttered out.

"No, you aren't," Mikey reassured him.

"All I do is fuck shit up," Gerard added.

"That's a lie,"

"She asked me to do one thing for her, and I couldn't do it!" Gerard sobbed. "I couldn't even finish the beautiful fucking song she wrote. I'm such a screw up,"

"She would be so proud of you Gerard," Mikey rubbed his brother's back. Gerard was kind of heavy, and Mikey thought that maybe Gerard's ass was fat after all. But telling him that now wouldn't be very smart, so Mikey kept it to himself.

"I don't want her to be proud," Gerard cried. "I want her to be alive,"

Mikey started crying too. He just couldn't fucking hold it in anymore. Gerard pushed himself to his feet somehow and pulled Mikey into a hug. The hug was tight and warm, the biggest comfort Mikey could ask for from his brother. They cried on each other's shoulders and stood there for a second in embrace before the door opened. They broke apart just to see that it was Frank.

"Hey guys," Frank said gently and approached them. They both must have looked pretty pathetic, and when Gerard let out an especially violent sob Frank rushed forward and hugged him. Gerard cried into Frank's shoulder while Frank sort of rocked them back and forth. He was whispering something in Gerard's ear that Mikey couldn't make out, so Mikey slumped back against the brick wall and dropped down onto his bottom. He leaned his head against a block table next to him that held bibles and stuff and stared off at nothing.

Jamia walked into the church through the front door and stared at the spectical in front of her. Mikey was worried for a second that she would be mad, and he motioned for her to come sit by him. She did.

"I didn't realize today was a funeral," Jamia admitted.

"My grandmother," Mikey sighed, leaning his head back. He wondered how obvious it was that he'd been crying.

"I'm sorry," she gasped, and Mikey shrugged it off.

"It's hard for us, you know? Especially Gerard," Mikey sighed, as if trying to explain what was with the hugging.

"I guess I should just come back later then," Jamia said as she stood.

"Call Frank later," Mikey suggested. "He'd love to hear from you, Jamia,"

"Alright, thank you," Jamia smiled before silently departing. Mikey wondered if Frank and Gerard had even noticed her presense, and then he decided it didn't really matter. This moment was for the two of them, best friends, brothers, boy friends, whatever the hell they were. That's all that mattered. That, and Elena. Beautiful Elena.


	45. Chapter 45

Gerard hid in his room as long as he could, which lasted from after the funeral Friday to dinner on Saturday. Aunt Marie wwas leaving that evening so everyone had to be there and be sociable for dinner before she left. Gerard didn't realy talk. He didn't eat much either. The black haired boy was at dinner with them but he wasn't really there. His mind was somewhere else, and he was completely blank.

Mikey was in a surprisingly good mood that he couldn't explain, but he was talking everyone's ears off. Finally it was time for Aunt Marie to depart. After they all kissed her goodbye and she left, Gerard went back to hide in his room and Mikey bounced around the house.

"Michael," Mr. Way interrupted Mikey's endeavours to nowhere. "Are you high?"

Mikey gave his father a strange look. "God, Dad! I'm not a druggie!" He snapped angrily before running upstairs and slamming his door. Don looked at his wife in dismay.

"I think our son is PMS-ing," he commented, and she started giggling.

!

Gerard was grumbling angrily the whole walk to school on Monday. It was too early, and he was hung over from a bottle of Jack Daniels he'd found lying around the house. It was also cold out, obviously nearing the end of September, and raining. HIs mother had forced him to go. Gerard knew how it was going to be. _Oh, everyone look at that poor kid with the dead grandmother!_ He wasn't mistaken. People in the hallways turned to stare and whispered as the Way brothers walked down the hallway together. Gerard shuffled to his locker and pulled the door open to find four notes sitting on a shelf. He made a show of tearing them up and tossing them to the ground for anyone watching. He'd had enough of 'secret admirers' and stuff like that, and wasn't going to fall for that crap anymore. Gerard shoved his things into the locker and a perky female voice caught him off guard.

"Hey," Gerard turned to see Lin-z smiling back at him.

"What?" he growled in response, not in the mood to be bothered or teased.

"Here," she handed him a comic book, the Watchmen one he'd been meaning to get! Gerard grinned down at the comic and opened it to begin reading, then he remembered Lin-z's presense and looked up at her suspisciosly.

"Ray said you've been wanting this one," she said.

"But why would you..."

"I heard about what happened..." Lin-z coughed nervously. "I'm sorry,"

"I don't need charity," Gerard shoved the comic book back into her hands, but she simply folded his hands back over it.

"It's a gift," she insisted. "It's also a 'thank you' for the food fight last Friday," she blushed slightly. "It was a lot of fun," She then turned and walked away, a bit hurriedly as if she was nervous, leaving Gerard to stare at the comic in his hands.

"Hey G Man," Frank smiled as he walked up to take the place of Lin-z. "Where'd you get that?"

"That chick... With the hair..."

"Lindsey?" Frank asked.

"Lin-z," Gerard corrected. He looked down at the comic in his hands with a blank expression on his face. Frank sensed his awkwardness.

"Hey, you all good man?" Frank asked Gerard with concern in his vocie. When Gerard didn't answer, obviously spacing out, Frank grabbed Gerard's hand and waved it around. "Hello...? Gee?" He wondered why Gerard was blushing, and why he pulled his hand back so suddenly.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I'm fine,"

"You're lying," Frank crossed his little arms over his chest. He could always tell when Gerard was lying because he got this cute look in his eyes. Shit, those thoughts! He wasn't supposed to think like that anymore!

"I'm going to head to art class," Gerard turned and left with his locker wide open and Frank standing in front of it, looking confused.

"That's gay as aids!" somebody exclaimed in Gerard's art class while Gerard slumped into the room and glared at them. He hated that expression. Homophobia was gay, and aids were serious.

"You got a problem faggot!?" the boy snapped at Gerard, who was surprised to be recognized.

"Huh?" he was short on conebacks due to his absentmindedness.

"He probably has aids," a friend of the first guy commented. "That's why he was gone all last week,"

"Nah, asshole. His grandma died," the first boy snapped at his friend, then turned on Gerard. "Did your poor ld granny kick the can? Huh, Gerard?" he said in a mock baby voice.

"Shut up," Gerard muttered, twisting his fingers around the baggy material of his school trousers.

"You gonna cry for me? I bet _you_ were her little baby," he cooed, running a finger along Gerard's jaw line. This made Gerard angry for two reasons: One, he was being made fun of. Two, the guy touching him like that had kind of turned him on.

"SHUT UP!" Gerard yelled in the boy's face, making him jump and the art teacher look up.

"Hey!" the teacher barked. "What's going on there!?"

The jerk grinned while Gerard glowered at him. "Nothing," he replied with a small smile.

"Good, now shut up and sit down," the teacher instructed, and the jerk turned from Gerard and whispered the word "Grandma's boy" before going to his table. Gerard slumped back down into his seat and flipped open his sketch book. _Why the heck am I even in school today?_

!

"Hey, Toro," Bb smiled as he sat down in his desk next to Ray.

"Hey, Bob," Ray responded with a half-hearted grin.

"What's up with you?" Bob asked, suspiscious.

"Nothing, just didn't get much sleep last night," Ray responded, a half lie, sleepily running a hand through his messy hair.

"Dude, I know," Bob sighed. "Me either. We won't be sleeping too much this weekend either though," he smiled, nearly bouncing with anticipation, which was rare for Bob.

"What's this weekend?" Ray asked.

"I got us a gig!" Bob cheered. He and Ray high fived and started talking excitedly about it until the bell rang and the teacher made them shut up. God, they couldn't wait to tell the others.

!

Gerard heaved a sigh with his heavy back pack hung over his shoulder and his hands shoved into his pockets. It was getting cold, and he needed to consider wearing a coat to school.

He trudged up the path to his house and through the front door, expecting to be alone. When he opened the door ,however; both he and his father jumped back in surprise. Mr. Way was sitting in the living room with the tv on and his face red. Gerard wondered who broke the tv to make him angry, but then he realized the tv wasn't broken- there was something playing on it.

"Oh, hello Gerard," Don said with his voice thick.

"Hey," Gerard sighed.

"Come, sit," Don said, not in his usual demanding tone, but in a gentle voice that made Gerard actually want to do it. What the heck? He didn't have anything better to do. Gerard went and sat on the couch next to his father.

"What are you doing?" Gerard asked.

It was Donald's turn to sigh. "My mom used to have this apron. She wore it whenever she did anything in the kitchen. It was pink, with blue and yellow flowers on it. Well, I found myself thinking about it earlier," Don was about as close to tears as Gerard had ever seen him. Admittingly- it was a bit frightening. "It had words embroidered on the chest... and I couldn't remember what they were. I saw them every day of my childhood, and so many times after that... and I couldn't remember."

Gerard stared up solemnly at the tv. Now there was a home video of them all at Elena's house for thanksgiving. It was several years ago, and Frank was there with them. Gerard remembered it, it was the thanksgiving that Frank's mother had to work and his dad was away, so he went to Elena's with them. Gerard had been twelve, and Mikey was nine. It seemed like forever ago. God, Elena looked so happy when she flipped off the camera from her position at the stove. Gerard chuckled as he saw his younger self get smacked with a wooden spoon for trying to snatch something out of a mixing bowl.

"That was a good year, huh?" Don asked, and Gerard blushed. He'd forgotten his father was there with him.

"Yeah, it was," Gerard grinned.

Static overtook the screen, and then a different scene popped up. Christmas, three years ago- a year after the thanksgiving video. They were in Gerard's living room, the big tree up in the corner and stockings hung up on the wall. Mikey was the one behind the camera, Gerard could tell by how much it was shaking and how his ridiculously excited voice was narrarating everything.

"Say Merry Christmas Gerard!" Mikey's voice demanded, showing a younger Gerard dressed in all black- his hair still dark brown instead of black, slumped down on the couch. He waved half heartedly at the camera, and then out of no where Frank jumps over the couch and lands on top of Gerard. Both boys squeal in laughter on the tv while Gerard and his father chuckled in real life. Gerard smiles at the fact that Frank has been with him at family things ever since they'd became best friends. Ray pops in front of the camera, so much shorter and younger looking, and takes it from Mikey. Then Gerard's father pops onto the scene and pulls the two wrestling boys apart. More static, and the scene changes once more.

This one's much older, and Gerard's mother is behind the camera. They're someplace noisy, the sun is very bright, and they're outside.

"How old are you Gerard?" his mother's voice called from behind the camera.

"I'm five!" mini Gerard yelled in a voice Gerard can't believe was his own, while holding up four fingers.

"Finger check," his father chuckled, and Gerard looked down. He giggled.

"Five!" he held up his whole little hand.

"How about you, Michael?" his mom's voice asked.

Tiny little Mikey was sitting up on his father's shoulders, with two hands clutching his father's head in a death grip. He must not have been talking much yet, because he silently held up three fingers.

"Oh look, boys! Here it comes!" their father said excitedly, and the camera turned around to see a parade coming. A marching band walked by, all in black uniforms. It must have been from the local high school. Gerard cheered excitedly and his mother turned the camera on him.

"What is that Gerard?" she asked.

"Mama! It's the black parade!" he said happily, bouncing up and down and pointing. That's when Gerard noticed he's holding Grandma Elena's hand. She must have been pretty young, because she was able to lift him up on her shoulder to see better. He smiled happily down at her.

"Do you remember that day?" Don asked his son. Gerard nodded.

"I'd forgotten until now," Gerard admitted. "I really miss her, Dad," Gerard felt tears well in his eyes again and he felt like a fool.

"That song you and Mikey did... it was really nice," Don said, surprising Gerard.

"Elena wrote it," Gerard said. "I feel bad, that I couldn't finish it," he sighed.

"You grandmother would still be very grateful," his father said.

"Thanks Dad," Gerard sighed. "I'm going up to my room, I don't feel well," Gerard said, standing. He spots on the coffee table in a box full of movies, The Passion of the Christ. He grabs it, not knowing why, and then goes up to his room. Maybe he'd watch it, since he hadn't in a while.


	46. Chapter 46

Ray had too much on his mind and he was anxious for Saturday. He couldn't wait for the gig to get his mind off of things... he always felt better when he was playing. But for now the afro-tastic boy could not stop thinking. His brother was in rehab, his parents were always arguing, and from the looks of it, Gerard was headed down the same road as Ed. If Gerard thought nobody noticed his drinking then he was a fool. He constantly reeked of alcohol. He had missed random days of school all week, along with band practices. Any noice louder than a hushed whisper caused him to cringe. Gerard was having issues.

And Mikey wasn't at top shape either. He wasn't destroying himself, but he hadn't been normal since the funeral. Ray wondered if either of them were ever going to be normal again.

"Okay guys, ten minutes, then I'm out!" Bob complained, emphasizing it with a bash on his drums. "I have stuff to do at home, and if he's not here soon then he won't be!"

"Bob, chill!" Mikey retorted. "He's having a hard time..."

"He's drunk, you moron!" Bob roared. Mikey burst into tears and rushed out of the room.

Frank glared at Bob and Ray stared at the door after Mikey. "Look what you did now!" Frank exclaimed to Bob, who shot up and shoved his drum sticks into his pocket.

"I'm done!" he bellowed.

"Bob! Sit the fuck down and shut up!" Ray yelled. "Frank, you go get Gerard! I'll go get Mikey," Ray growled and stormed up the basement steps the way Mikey had gone. Frank and Bob stared at each other with huge eyes and shut mouths.

"Well, I guess I'll go get Gerard then..." Frank mumbled before running out of the room. Bob sat at his drum set with a sigh and dropped his head into his hands. Sometimes it felt like everything was falling apart.

Frank crossed the street to Gerard's house and went in the garage door which was always left unlocked. He walks into the house.

"Gerard, you home?" Frank called. There wasn't an answer, but he could hear the roar of music from upstairs. Ah, that must be Gerard. He trotted up the stairs to Gerard's room and knocked, even though he knew that it would be impossible to hear, so nobody would answer the door. He pushed it open and peeked in.

The lights were off, the room was a wreck, the music was loud and Gerard was no where to be seen. Frank looked around for a second and then switched the lights on. He then spotted Gerard on his bed, half under blankets and shirtles.

Gerard groaned, "Turn the lights off," and his words were slurred.

"Gerard, you're missing practice and Bob's pissed," Frank walked over to Gerard's bed side and pulled his friend up to sit. "Come on, Gee Man, get up,"

"I don't wanna," Gerard moaned.

Frank sighed in irritation. "Gerard, what's tomorrow?" Frank asked.

"Saturday?" Gerard asked squinting through one eye at Frank, his hair hanging over his face. It looked greasier than it's normal level of greasiness. Somehow he still managed to look cute.

"And what do we have on Saturday?" Frank pressed.

"Gig," Gerard mumbled.

"Exactly. And you've missed practice all week. So get your ass up from bed and get over there now!" Frank demanded. Gerard moaned something uncomprehensable as he flopped back down onto his stomach and pulled a pillow over his head.

"Get up!" Frank yelled, smacking Gerard on the butt.

"Ow! Go away!" Gerard protested.

"Not happening," Frank growled, feeling too much like Gerard's mother as he pulled the blankets away from his friend. "We've got to practice! And you've got to get out of this room!"

"Fine!" Gerard finally yelled, sitting up forcefully. "I'm up now! Are you happy-" Gerard suddenly covered his mouth with his hand and ran from the room to the hall bathroom. Frank hurried to follow but tripped on his way out. He looked down to find an empty vodka bottle under foot, before quickly following Gerard. Gerard was worshipping the porcelain god, a.k.a. throwing up in the toilet. Frank sighed, crouching down at Gerard's side and pulling his hair back out of the way.

"I feel like shit," Gerard muttered between splurges. Frank rubbed his friend's bare back gently.

"Come on buddy, finish up and come over. You always feel better when you sing," Frank offered.

"I don't feel the same any more Franky," Gerard sighed.

"Well duh, you're loaded all the time," Frank said irritably.

"No, not that. It's like I can't escape my own mind," Gerard forced himself to stand and rinsed his mouth. Then he grabbed his tooth brush and scrubbed at his mouth. Frank leaned against the sink and waited.

"I don't feel okay anymore, Franky," Gerard continued. "I'm always thinking... all the time. I can't focus! My thoughts always take me to Grandma, or to memories... and I always think that if I just have something to drink then it will help me to forget," tears slipped from Gerard's eyes and he looked up at Frank. "There's something else I can't stop thinking about, Frank,"

"What's that?" Frank asked.

"I-I... don't know..." Gerard blushed furiously. Frank tried to stop the thoughts of how hot Gerard looked there, sitting shirtless right next to him on the counter. He wasn't supposed to think like that, especially since he and Jamia had just gotten back together on Wednesdays. There's certain things you don't do with your best friend while you have a girlfriend.

"You got to tell me, Gee, you've already started. You know you can tell me anything," Frank pressed, setting his hand down on Gerard's on the counter. Gerard looks down at it and blushed brighter, then pulled his hand away gently.

"I don't know how to tell you," Gerard confessed. "You-you're going to think I'm weird..."

The strangest thoughts teased at the back of Frank's mind but he pushed them away. No, there was no way that's what Gerard was talking about. Frank was dillusional, there was no way Gerard could feel the same way. Too complicated!

"I already know you're weird," Frank mumbled, feeling awkward. "But you're my best friend, you have to trust me,"

Gerard nodded, looking at the floor one more time, and Frank looked away as well, wondering how long he would be there in the bathroom with Gerard- trying to say everything yet saying nothing whatsoever.

When Frank turned his head back he was surprised instantly to have Gerard's lips pressed against his own. It wasn't really a kiss at first, they just sat their awkwardly, lips pressed against each other and Frank's eyes wide open. Gerard looked really peaceful there, and for some reason Frank found himself tempted. Oh, what the hell?

Frank pressed back, pushing his lips into Gerard and he felt Gerard loosen up. His hands reached to find Gerard's waiste, and Gerard's raised up to Frank's hair. Gerard's lips parted and Frank sent his tongue to explore Frank's mouth. Frank grinned into it, and then from nowhere, Jamia's head popped into his mind. Her horrified expression. _"What are you, his fuck buddy!?"_ her voice echoed in his mind, and he instantly pulled away from Gerard. Gerard gasped in air, and Frank bit down on his bottom lip, blushing furiously.

"I-I guess we have a lot to talk about," Frank sighed. Because that wasn't like the time at the bonfire. And it wasn't like his laspe of judgement at the youth concert. There was no way to blame this on an adrenaline rush. It had really just happened.

"I'm sorry," Gerard muttered, embarrassed with tears welling in his eyes again.

"Don't be," Frank said, a small grin on his lips, as he set a hand on Gerard's knee, as they were both still seated on the counter.

"I'm really confused Franky," Gerard admitted. "I always just assumed I was straight... but sometimes I have these thoughts about you... or about other guys... I don't know what's wrong with me..."

"So you don't know if you're straight or gay?" Frank asked, a smile playing on his lips. It was dawning on him that possibly Gerard didn't know he could like both. "Okay, tell me," Frank started. "When you fantasize, is it about chicks, or dudes?"

"Uh, both?" Gerard grinned bashfully.

"Then you're bi," Frank shrugged as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"Huh!?" Gerard looked genuinly surprised.

"It means you like both. Bisexual, ya know?" Frank laughed half heartedly.

"I.. I didn't know..." Gerard stared in disbelief at Frank. Frank started full on laughing now.

"Haha! Welcome to the club, Gee Man!" Frank cheered.

Gerard grinned crookedly. "Hmm..."

"Okay, now you're feeling better," Frank stood and clapped his hands together. "Time to go practice,"

"Okay," Gerard smiled at Frank. "I'm feeling a lot better now, thanks Franky," Gerard said.

"Any time, Gee. Any time," Frank smiled.

!

It was later that night, after practice was over and after dinner with the family. Mikey was hiding up in his room. His xbox was off, his radio was off, everything was still and silent except for gentle sobs that shook Mikey's shoulders. He had no idea what was going on with him. He could be totally normal, laughing and being happy, and then suddenly he'd just get so sad or really angry. He couldn't explain it. He was sick of feeling like a pussy when he randomly burst into tears at school. It was getting worse there, the label of 'emo kid' becoming more used.

And Mikey was starting to believe them. As he sat on the floor with his legs folded under him, his hoodie sleeve shoved way up his arm, he couldn't believe what he'd just done. Four scratches were turning bright red and bleeding on his wrist. It didn't hurt as much as Mikey thought it was supposed to. It only stung a little bit. But God, that was a lot of blood. He tried wiping at it with his hoodie sleeve and it simply smeared and made his whole wrist red.

Mikey sighed, standing up and putting the scissors back on his desk. He then stumbled to his bed and crawled under the covers. He'd be crying himself asleep again. _God, how pathetic is that!?_ Mikey had finally done the thing his peers had been accusing him of, and he didn't even think it helped him. Mikey pulled his knees up to his chest and turned on his ipod. He ignored the stinging in his wrist as he finally zoned into a restless sleep.

_And through it all, how could you cry for me? Cause I don't feel anything. Just shut your eyes, kiss me goodbye, and sleep. 3_


	47. Chapter 47

The gig was disappointing to say the least. It was another basement, but this time only five people showed up. One of them was homeless. Dispite the circumstances, the band played as hard as they could and had a lot of fun. Except for when Franky jumped on Bob's drums during a guitar solo, lost his balance, and landed in Bob's lap. It was surprising neither of them got hurt! _And Bob wasn't even mad at me,_ Frank thought. _What a cool guy._

It was after the show when the boys were packing up. Mikey, a bit tipsy from a few underaged beers was thanking the host for having them. Bob was packing his drums back into the van. Toro was arguing with the homeless man, who bootlegged their cd's and was attempting to sell them back to him. Gerard was drunk out of his mind, and Frank was... no where to be seen. One of the five people there besides the hobo was Jamia, who was also missing in action. Gerard, in his drunken state, wondered if they got lost and went looking for them. He didn't like what he found.

It was dark in the back bedroom but Gerard could still see all he needed to. That included Jamia, in only a bra and her jeans, laying on top of Frank. Frank, also shirtless and only in his boxers, lay underneath her. Their tongues were intertwined and Frank's hands were making their was down to...

"What are you doing!?" Gerard asked in shock, startling Jamia and Frank. Jamia launched off Frank and covered herself quickly with an old blanket. Frank sat up shamelessly.

"What the Hell man!?" Frank demanded angrily. He had kind of been in the middle of something. Sometimes Jamia wasn't such a good little catholic girl like her daddy thought.

"What were you doing!?" Gerard asked bitterly, his words slurring.

"You're drunk Gerard, go lay down," Frank rolled his eyes. He was normally much kinder to his friend, but Gerard had really pissed him off by interrupting that and a boner was still bugging him down there. The chances of him getting that oppertunity again soon were slim.

"Why were you doing that?" Gerard snapped.

"Umm because she's my girlfriend! and this is like our only chance to do anything- which you just ruined!" Frank yelled, making Gerard sober up very quickly.

"You know that's not what I'm talking about!" Gerard's voice came out in a low growl.

"What, so now I can't kiss her without your permission!?" Frank demanded, standing up to face Gerard. They were inches apart. Normally that would make both their hearts do that stupid fluttery thing, but not tonight.

This caught Gerard more off guard and he struggled to find words with his temper. "I-I just thought..." no longer angry, he sounded sad.

"I'm not your boyfriend, Gerard!" Frank roared, and Gerard as an instant response punched him in the stomach. Frank doubled over with an 'oof!'

"Fuck you!" Gerard yelled, storming out of the room. Frank watched him go through a glare.

"Fuck you harder!" Frank yelled after Gerard had already disappeared through the door. He then face palmed at what he'd just said. "I didn't mean it that way," he explained to Jamia as he fell back onto the bed and threw his arms over his face.

Jamia crawled back over to him and ruffled his hair. She giggled in response and then kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"What just happened!?" Ray demanded when Gerard stormed out of the room and shoved past Ray and the homeless guy out of the way. He went to grab the last beer out of the case when Ray snatched it out of his hand.

"You're already loaded, man," Ray said, tossing the beer back in. "Chill." Gerard glared at Ray furiously.

"I'm going home," he muttered and headed for the door.

"You gonna walk home dumb ass?" Ray chuckled grabbing the keys and following the ebony haired boy out the door. "Hey guys, you cool to hang here for a while?" Ray asked, receiving positive answers from Bob, Mikey, and the guy that owned the house. "I'll be back,"

"Where are you taking me?" Gerard asked, and Ray could smell the alcohol wafting off his breath.

"Home," Ray responded, staring straigh ahead at the high way and hoping like hell they didn't get pulled over. He wasn't completely clean himself, but he was far more sober than Gerard.

"You gonna tell me what happened?" Ray asked.

"Frank is an asshole," Gerard pouted angrily, crossing his arms over his chest like a child that didn't get the candy bar at the store. He wanted to tell Ray what was going on, but how could he possibly explain it!? He was heartbroken over Frank. Because Frank confessed being bi, helped Gerard figure out he was bi, kissed him in his freaking bathroom! He was angry because he'd been battling a crush on Frank since the beginning of the school year, to think he actually had a chance!- just to find Frank with Jamia- NAKED! Talk about fucking mixed signals! Then he'd freaked out and now he no longer had a best friend. Yeah, that's totally something he wanted to explain to Ray. Ray was as heterosexual as possible, and though he wouldn't pass any judgement, Gerard still felt weird about it.

"I guess that's a no," Ray sighed. Gerard hadn't realized it, but he must have been silent for a while. In fact, he'd forgotten he was in the car with Ray at all.

"Frank and I aren't friends anymore," Gerard confessed with a sigh.

"Why?"

"He's an asshole," Ray rolled his eyes.

!

"MICHAEL! GERARD! LAST WARNING!" their mother's voice rang through the house. Mikey groaned as he sat up, thankful that he hadn't gotten drunk last night. He hated hang overs. He didn't particularily like beer either, but he was in a rock band Goddamnit! He was already the little kid in the band, he didn't want to be a lame ass for not drinking or something. Mikey sat up and pushed the blankets off of him, pouting slightly when his feet touched the cold floor. God he didn't want to be up this early on a freaking SATURDAY! They'd gotten home after midnight last night, and Mikey was exhausted. He pulled his hoodie sleeves down to fight off the cold, and he hissed in pain as the fabric scraped against his wrist. Damn, he'd forgotten. How could he be so stupid?

Gerard was in worse shape. After Ray had dropped him off, an hour earlier than the others, he'd simply gone to his room and curled into a ball under the covers and tried to sleep. He wanted more booze but he was out. So he simply lay in bed and waited for exhaustion to over take him. It didn't happen. Finally at two or three, he couldn't remember which, he'd gone to the bathroom, downed three night time cold pills, and passed out ten minutes later.

Now the cold medicine hadn't worn off yet, and added to a hang over Gerard felt like shit. His throat hurt, his head was splitting in half, his eyes were watering like a bitch, his whole body was aching. _How much did I drink last night?_ Gerard wondered. But of course thinking back to the night before sent the memories of what happened with Frank rushing back into his head. The rushing of thoughts sent Gerard doubling over onto his bed holding his temples. He felt out of his fucking mind! He wanted to get the fuck out of his mind! He didn't notice it, but he was crying again.

A gentle knock came to his door but he didn't hear it until Mikey was already at his side.

"Hey, come on man," Mikey said softly, concern splattered all over his face. He pulled Gerard to sit up and then went to his dresser. He pulled out a pair of black jeans and an Iron Maiden t-shirt that he knew was Gerard's favorite. He grabbed Gerard's wrist and made him stand up, then made him get dressed.

"Come on, you're okay," Mikey sighed softly, smiling slightly at his older brother. "We got to go see a family councelor,"

"A fucking shrink?" Gerard groaned. "What the hell!?"

"Come with me," Mikey instructed and pulled Gerard along to the bathroom. He had Gerard sit down on the counter. "Be right back," he said, disappearing, and then returned a few seconds later with something in his hand. He pushed it into Gerard's.

"Make yourself beautiful," he giggled, and Gerard stared down at his hands. Sitting in them was his mother's concealer, foundation, and a few things Gerard didn't exactly know what they were.

"Huh?" Gerard asked.

"It's waterproof, since we're going to talk about Grandma," Mikey shrugged, obviously thinking ahead.

"I'm still confused," Gerard sighed, having no idea what Mikey was up to.

"Use the make up to cover up the fact that you're totally hung over, idiot," Mikey rolled his eyes. "I'm not doing it for you, but we don't need this asshole thinking we're any mroe messed up than we already are," Mikey said.

"Oh," Gerard turned to the mirror and stared down at the make up in his hands. He prayed to God that his father didn't walk in on him doing this, and he shot a look at Mikey, who was standing there with his arms crossed and staring at Gerard anxiously.

"Get to it then," Mikey urged, and Gerard did his best to apply the stuff with his shaking hands. Mikey helped him smooth it all out, and Gerard had to admit that it made him look decent. The ever present shadows under his eyes were barely noticable. Mikey beamed at him.

"Way to go, sis," Mikey smiled.

"Shut up," Gerard grumbled. "Should I wear eye liner?" he then asked. He'd been wearing eyeliner to school before, and he'd gotten quite good at it.

"The point is to NOT creep them out," Mikey demanded. He then laughed again. Gerard finished getting ready, downing several aspirin for his head ache, brushing his teeth til his mouth felt bloody and it no longer tasted like something died in there, and running a hand through his greasy hair.

"Good enough?" Gerard asked. Mikey smirked.

"Come on, Princess," Mikey dragged his brother down the stairs.


	48. Chapter 48

**:The Previous Night. After the Gig:**

It was after midnight when Bob finally got home. He expected the house to be quiet, silent; everyone asleep as they were supposed to be. Instead when he got home he heard crying, and his heart broke out of his chest. He found Dannielle in the hall closet-that being her hiding place of choice. Bob crouched down in front of her and smoothed down her hair with a hand. Trembling, she looked up at him.

She choked out a small sob.

"Hey, Danni," he cooed. "What happened?"

"Mama... had a man over..." Danni's voice trembled. "H-he wasn't Daddy, but... but he kissed her!" Danni started crying again, biting her bottom lip and then burying her head in her arms. Bob did the only thing he knew how. He gathered his little sister onto his lap and scooted into the closet, carefully closing the door.

"Why did he do that?" Danni asked, referring to the man kissing her mother.

"Mama gets lonely sometimes," Bob said, trying to find an excuse, but finding the anger build in him as he said it. '_Mama is a heartless bitch' is more like it,_ he thought.

"Doesn't she love Daddy?" Danni asked, and Bob just couldn't lie to her. He couldn't force himself too. He felt the sadness enveloping himself to and he just snuggled her closer to his chest. Every kid is supposed to believe that his parents love him. Parents are supposed to love each other. This was just... broken.

"I don't know," Bob sighed. "I really don't know," They both stayed silent for a long time, and to calm himself Bob tried to match his breathing to his sisters- something to take his mind off of things. He found that her lungs must be significantly smaller than his though, cause she breathed way to fast, and he was soon out of breath- causing him to yawn.

"You're sleepy?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm sleepy," he confessed.

"Did you have fun at your gig?" she asked him. Bob smiled.

"Yeah, I did,"

"I wanna see you play," Dannielle snuggled into her brother deeper and shut her eyes.

"I could take you to one sometime," Bob offered, and he knew Dannielle was smiling.

"Hey, Danni,"

"Yeah?"

"We're not going to tell Daddy yet, okay?"

"Okay," Danni said in a sleepy voice that only children can pull off. "It'll be our secret," and then she fell asleep. Bob carried his sleeping sister gently up to her room and tucked her into bed. Bob himself was exhausted, and didn't want to leave her a lone. The journey down the hall to his own room seemed impossible, so he simply curled up on her floor and fell into a restless sleep.

!

Ray had fallen asleep that night quietly playing his guitar to himself. Pathetic as it may sound Ray loved falling asleep like that. When he woke up in the morning he was cradeling his guitar in his arms like a teddy bear and Tito was taking pictures. Ray glared at him for a moment, before smiling. Tito took one more picture as Ray flipped off the camera.

!

Frank had been doing a lot of thinking, and he genuinely felt bad about what happened with Gerard. It was true, Gerard was not his boyfriend, but he was his best friend! And Frank hadn't been treating him right. It only made sense that Gerard looked so hurt and confused when he found Frank, about to have sex with his girlfriend. First off, he was drunk. Secondly, he had just found out he was bisexual- which is a really confusing thing to deal with. And lastly, Frank had kissed- no scratch that. Passionately made out with him in his bathroom! God, and then Frank had just blown up on him. He completely deserved that punch in the gut. He deserved more, but for now all he could do was go talk to Gerard.

When he woke up he went straight to Gerard's house and knocked on the door. Nobody answered. He knew where they kept their key, but he figured that would be too intrusive. He knocked again and waited by the door for like five minutes. He walked out to the front yard and threw pebbles up at Gerard's window. No answer. So that meant Gerard was either completely ignoring them, or they were gone. Where would they go on Saturday? Frank sighed in defeat and trudged back to his house.

!

_Therapy. Yeah. That TOTALLY helped up with our fucking problems. I feel so much better now. So close to my family! Bull shit._ Family counceling had not gone well. Gerard's mother talked the whole time while his father sat next to her and grumbled about even being there. Mikey was too shy to speak. And when the therapist asked Gerard a question about Elena he started crying again. Yup, that's resolution right there. Problems solved. No.

And the worse part was that they had to go back! Next Saturday, bright and early. Gerard stormed upstairs, slammed his door and locked himself in his room. He kept it dark, he liked it dark.

Oh but there was more. Gerard got medications now. Because the therapist seperated them for a while and tried talking to them. The great, cheery news was that Gerard was depressed and Mikey had to go for a blood test. So they did that, and finally back from the hospital Gerard felt totally worn out. Stupid therapist and his stupid questions and the stupid pills. Antidepressants... hm, maybe they'd help? Gerard swallowed two from the bottle and replaced it in it's place above the bathroom sink. He didn't feel any better, so he crawled into bed and tried to drown it all out.

His thoughts wavered between Elena, Franky, and the news that he was depressed. It was hard to swallow. He had been blocking out all his thoughts about Elena because they always made him cry. Now the stupid shrink suggested he get them out, that he had to face them, right okay. He suggested Gerard right about his feelings, but Gerard didn't have the energy to pick up a pencil and he didn't even know where to start.

Would he write about how Elena died, leaving him here alone!? How he'd loved his grandmother more than his own parents, how Mikey had loved her, how they were both so hurt? Or how about that she'd only died because she CHOSE to give up chemo. She chose to leave them. And then there was the song, that Gerard couldn't even sing right. They were both failures to each other, when they had been the only thing the other had.

Or maybe he would write about Frank. Maybe he could sound like a thirteen year old girl and talk about his stupid crush on his best friend. How he found out he was bisexual. How had he not known this? Or how about how he made out with Frank in his bathroom!? About how they kissed at the bonfire only a month or so ago? How ALIVE he had felt then? And how dead he felt now.

_God, maybe I should just die. Everything would be better if I just died. It wouldn't be that hard, to end it... _Gerard cut the thoughts off. No, he wasn't going to kill himself. He wasn't that pathetic, not yet. Gerard thought of all the things he'd leave behind. Mikey, the band. He no longer had a best friend. Nobody really cared about him that much besides Mikey. Elena was dead. His parents hated him. And as for a future? Gerard had no idea what the fuck he was going to do with it.

_When I grow up I want to be nothing at all,_ Gerard hummed to himself. He sat up suddenly and went to his desk, humming that line over and over, and then a song formed in his mind. He scribbled it down in his sketch book.

_So come one come all to this tragic affair, wipe of that makeup what's in this dispair? so throw on your black dress mix in with the lot, you might wake up and notice you're someone you're not. If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see you can find out first hand what it's like to be me. So gather round piggies, and kiss this goodbye. I'd encourage your smiles I'd expect you won't cry._

_ !_

Mikey sat in his room with his ear pressed against the air vent and listened to his parents argue. They thought they'd messed up, since Gerard was depressed. And Mikey might be... _what was that? Bipolar._

Mikey looked down at his arm, in the crook of his elbow where they'd poked him with a needle. _Ouch!_ Gerard had nearly fainted watching. They'd wanted to use Mikey's left arm, but Mikey demanded they use the right. He wouldn't tell them why, but it was because there was no way to show them his left arm without them seeing the cuts. They were still angry and red, and they killed Mikey every time he looked at them. God, how could he be so stupid?

All the kids at school called him an emo kid, so he'd only taken their advice. What if the cutting helped him? It didn't. It didn't help anything. And now he wasn't just an emo kid, he was a bipolar emo kid! Joy oh joy, how fucked up he was. Mikey, the fucked up bipolar emo kid, and his poor depressed alcoholic brother. Yeah, Mikey thought Gerard was an alcoholic. It seemed that if Gerard was left alone long enough he'd get drunk. And it was all because Grandma Elena had passed away. She'd left them and they were falling apart. Mikey tried to control the tears that threatened to spill over, and he pushed away the thought- the urge, to cut his wrist. He felt so sad and he didn't know what to do, so he just curled up in bed and turned on his music as loud as he could.

!

Gerard found his vcr of The Passion of The Christ on his desk after he had finished his song. He decided to watch it and popped it in his player. He was pretty bored with it all, but then they got to the crusifixtion. Gerard stared at the tiny screen in wonder. It was so graceful, yet so disturbing and violent, the way he died. He spoke his last words, a thunderous roar, and then was gone. Gerard rewound it and watched that part again. And then again. He sat back and thought. _Huh, _but a full thought never formed in his mind. So he simply sat back and watched the end of the movie. After all the credits, he rewound it and pressed play, watching the thing through again. He ignored the call for dinner from his parents, stayed away from his computer, and just tried to busy himself in his room as he let the movie play over and over again. He didn't do much to busy himself because he found he didn't have the energy, so he finally just crawled into bed again and stared at the screen until he fell asleep.


	49. Chapter 49

"Gerard, this is sick,"

"I don't care,"

"Seriously, how many times have you watched this?"

~_"Crusify him! Crusify him!"~_

"Eight times?"

"Gerard!?"

"What?"

"You have a problem,"

"I don't care,"

"You've been listening to too much Black Flag, dude,"

"I don't care,"

"Don't make me go get Frank. He'll help me get you out of bed," That did the trick. Gerard sprang up like a jack in the box.

"Mikey, don't you dare go get Frank! I swear to God-"

"Shut up, I won't," Mikey sighed, and Gerard collapsed back down. Mikey sighed and sat down on the edge of his brother's bed.

"Thanks," Gerard mumbled.

"How much have you been drinking?" Mikey asked.

"The amount of pills I'm taking counteracts the booze I'm drinking," Gerard responds.

"How many?" Mikey gasped.

"They're antidepressants, Mikes. It's safe," Gerard waves his brother off and pulls a pillow over his face.

"You can overdose on Celexa, you moron!" Mikey yelled, hitting his brother and then burying his face in his hands. He started to cry. Gerard felt horrible.

He sat up and slung an arm over his little brother's shoulders. "I'm sorry," Gerard sighed, nuzzling into Mikey's shoulders.

"It's kay," Mikey mumbled back. He ignored how Gerard's hair smelled and how it felt greasy against his cheek. It made him sad. "I just want you to be okay,"

"Me too," Gerard sighed.

"Are you gonna go to school today?" Mikey asked, and Gerard shrugged.

"No, I don't want to," Gerard complained.

"Mom will be mad," Mikey sighed.

"I don't care,"

"Seriously dude, too much Black Flag,"

Gerard actually cracked a smile. Then he sang out, "I don't care," Mikey giggled. Okay, maybe they would be alright. If only a little.

!

Frank wouldn't admit to it, but he was searching for Gerard. When Ray asked him, "Where ya going?" he said he was trying to find Jamia. Ray offered to look, and Frank winked at him and whispered something into his friend's ear. Ray chuckled at the implied dirtiness and let the short boy go.

Then Frank did look around for Jamia, but more over he was searching for Gerard's familiar face in the crowds of people he hated. He got shoved and hit lockers during two different occasions. "Looking for your boyfriend!?" someone jeered at him. He didn't respond. _He's not my boyfriend,_ Frank sighed to himself. He'd certainly told Gerard that. And by now it was obvious that Gerard wasn't at school. Still, he wanted to find Mikey and double check. That wasn't hard.

"Is Gerard here!?" Frank exclaimed as soon as he found Mikey, hiding out on the front steps, getting random foods thrown at him while he ignored them and listened to his ipod.

"No hello?" Mikey asked sarcastically.

"Hi," Frank rolled his eyes.

"Hello," Mikey smiled. "Lovely weather,"

"Is Gerard here?" Frank repeated.

"Nah, he's at home. He ain't feeling well," Mikey shrugged.

"Oh," Frank didn't want himself to be disappointed, but he couldn't help it. He changed the subject. "Have you seen Jamia anywhere?"

!

"Hey, Ray," Mikey found his older, afro-tastic friend between classes.

"Sup, Milky Way?" Ray greeted him tossling his hair.

"What's going on with Gerard and Frank?" the younger asked.

"I don't know," Ray shrugged. "They got in a fight at the gig, something about Jamia..."

"Huh," Mikey sighed. "Why would they...?"

"Well, don't tell anyone," Ray smiled, pulling Mikey closer and dropping his voice. "But Frank and Jamia were pretty close to... uh, relations at the gig on Saturday," Ray winked and Mikey didn't look too surprised. "And, uh... Gerard walked in on them. Frank was pissed! They started arguing, but Gerard wouldn't tell me anything about it," Ray shrugged.

The bell rang and they both jumped, surprised.

"Oops," Ray quickly dipped back into his locker. "I guess we're late now,"

"Damn, I'm going to get detention now!" Mikey cursed and took off running down the hall. "Hey no running in the halls!" someone scolded. And Ray chuckled lightly before taking off towards his next class.

!

"Nice of you to join us, Michael," the teacher said sarcastically as Mikey slid through the door of his ninth grade math class. Mikey blushed and shifted his bangs to cover his eyes, not wanting to make eye contact with his young teacher.

"Sorry," he muttered, shifting from foot to foot.

"Detention next Monday," she said and handed him a green detention slip. He took it and felt an electric shock when their fingers brushed. He blushed again and hurried to his desk. Someone stuck their foot out and Mikey fell forward, landing on his hands and knees.

"Ouch," he muttered, and looked back to see Kevin sneer at him.

"Kevin, that was unnecessary," the teacher scolded, and Kevin only laughed. Mikey began to gather his scattered books and felt close to tears, which only made him feel stupid. Suddenly a strong hand grabbed him by his upper arm and hefted him to his feet.

"Just get up and go sit down," it was Peter, and his harsh whisper was hot in Mikey's ear. Mikey grabbed his books and continued to his seat with his head down. He kept his eyes down for the rest of class, because whenever he looked up all he could focus on was his teacher's breasts. God, they seriously should not hire young, attractive teachers. All teachers should be old and wrinkly. So Mikey kept his eyes down, fighting off a spontaneous boner and his embarrassment. At least he wasn't going to cry.

!

After school Frank and Mikey walked together into town. Normally Frank and Gerard went to the comic book store on Monday, but since they hadn't spoken since Friday night and honestly Frank was a bit scared too. Even so, Gerard hadn't been at school, so Frank decided to go with Mikey. They stopped to get coffee along the way, and Mikey sipped at his while they moseyed through the comic shop.

"Hey Frank," Bert, the kid who worked behind the counter greeted the shorter boy.

"Hey Bert, how ya doing?" Frank raised a hand in greeting and smiled.

"Great, good. Where's Gerard at?" Bert asked. Frank's face dropped for a moment, and it didn't go unnoticed by Mikey.

"Oh, uh he's sick," Frank said. "But this is my friend Mikey, he's Gee's younger brother," Mikey smiled at the guy and took another sip of his coffee. Frank payed for the comics Bert was holding for him and the turned to leave.

"Hey, tell Gee I say hi, okay?" Bert winked at them and laughed as they left.

"He seems cool," Mikey said, making small talk.

"Ha, yeah. He has a huge crush on Gerard though," Frank chuckled. "But it's a secret,"

"Speaking of Gerard," Mikey cleared his voice. "What happened with you guys?"

Frank sighed. "He was drunk and confused, and I was an asshole. We just had an argument," Frank shrugged his shoulders.

"He seems awful upset over an argument," Mikey sighed. "M-maybe I shouldn't have said that,"

That didn't make Frank feel any better. If anything, he felt more like an asshole. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. There was no way he could explain to Mikey why exactly Gerard was so upset about their argument. He couldn't justly Mikey that his older brother was heartbroken over his best friend. "Think I can come over and try to talk to him?" Frank asked.

"Yeah sure. No problem," Mikey smiled.

At the Way's house Frank stands outside Gerard's door and knocked again. Gerard still hadn't answered. Frank sighed, leaning back against the door frame, and finally the door opened. Gerard stood there, looking sleepy with dark bags under his eyes and his hair a total wreck. He glared at Frank for a second, and then slammed the door.

"Wait, no! Gerard!" Frank yelled, banging on the door again.

The door sprung open and they stared at each other for a moment in silence. "Took you long enough to come apologize," Gerard finally said, his voice flat and hard. It made Frank kind of mad, and he tried not to glare back at his friend. Frank did need to apologize.

"I'm sorry," Frank mumbled.

"Huh? I didn't hear you," Gerard was being a jerk, and Frank deserved it.

"I'm sorry," Frank repeated, louder. Both boys stood in silence and didn't look at each other. This felt so wrong, the tension between them. It never used to feel this way.

"What are you sorry for?" Gerard finally asked, and Frank looked up to glare at him.

"Come on, man, I already apologized!" Frank snapped.

"For what!?" Gerard demanded.

"I don't know. What do you want me to apologize for!?" Frank asked. "I'm sorry you were drunk, I'm sorry you found me making out with my girlfriend, and I'm sorry that we kissed in your fucking bathroom! That good enough!?" Frank demanded, knowing he was being an asshole, but he couldn't stop himself. He also knew that these were none of the reasons that he should be apologizing for.

"Fuck you," Gerard growled. "You don't even care, do you!?"

"What are you talking about!?"

"You tell me I'm bisexual, kiss me, and then I find you with Jamia like that. Do you have any idea how that made me feel?" Gerard shouted, then clamped his mouth closed. He glared daggers at Frank, fighting off tears that threatened his eyes. He couldn't believe he'd just said that.

"I didn't mean for you to find us," Frank said, for a loss of anything else to say. "It's not my fault you found us like that,"

Gerard's heart dropped again and his face hardened.

"You're right," his voice was off. "It's not your fault. Just forget about it," Gerard said. He then shut the door firmly in Frank's face and locked it. Frank wanted to just collapse in the hall right there, but instead he walked straight out of the house without saying goodbye to Mikey. He just went home and layed down on the couch. For the first time in a few weeks Frank actually opened his math book and tried to do his homework because he had no idea how. _Why do I always fuck things up?_


	50. Chapter 50

On Tuesday morning, after Gerard spent all night being a hermit in his bedroom- the way he'd been doing lately, his mother came in the room. Their conversation went something like this(Gerard's voice like _this)_: "Gerard, you need to get out of bed." _"I don't wanna"_ "Too bad, get up. You're going to school," _"But-"_ "No buts," _"Fine!"_ "Don't use that tone of voice with me, young man!" _"Sorry,"_ "Come on honey, get up. Have you been taking your medicine?"_ "Yes,"_ "Are they working?"_ *shrug* _"Things can't really be that bad, darling. It'll get better,"

_Yeah, how can this ever get better? How can it get better that I've just lost my bestfriend and my grandmother, and I can't stop thinking about either of them!? How can it get better that life doesn't even feel worth living anymore? How can it get better that all I ever want to do is drink and sleep, but the drinking does nothing and I'm a horrible insomniac? It can't get better. It will never get better. _Gerard forced himself to sit up while his mom said she'd make him breakfast. The thought of food made him nauseous, but he thanked her anyways. Once she was gone he went to his closet and pulled a bottle of vodka from the very back where he was hiding it. He took several gulps before his mind began to buzz and he liked it. What he liked about vodka was that it didn't smell, so he could get away with it.

"And take a shower!" he heard his mother's voice call, and he groaned, but did as he was told. He stumbled into the hallway, but as he did he tripped over a comic book that was on the floor. Gerard picked it up and saw it was a Watchmen, the one Lin-z had given him. He smiled. The hot water felt good, and he made it as hot as he could bear. He liked the feeling off the grease leaving his hair. And he had a dull dizziness from the alcohol, so it wasn't that bad. He let himself get emersed in thoughts as the water cleansed him, and from seemingly nowhere Frank's face popped into his mind. It was in this bathroom that he and Frank had explored each other's mouths with their tongues. Gerard tried not to think about it, and as he pictured himself pulling away from the kiss with Frank the face changed, and it was Lin-z.

Gerard awoke from his day dream with a start and slipped on the wet floor of the shower. He was going to have a bruise from that now. Why had he just thought about kissing Lin-z? The idea haunted his mind again, and Gerard realized he was getting hard. _Shit_. He picked himself off the shower floor and jerked off quickly.

When Gerard got out of the shower he realized that they were completely out of towels. _Double shit._ He checked the hallway to make sure the coast was clear before sneaking to the linen closet- butt naked. He was sneaking back to his room, wrapping a towel around himself, when Mikey rounded the corner as well, bumping into him. Gerard dropped his towel and Mikey stared at him wide eyed.

Finally the younger spoke in a calm voice. "Put some clothes on, dork," Mikey turned and headed back down stairs and Gerard headed back into his room to get ready. Finally dressed, he took a few more swigs of his bottle and treaded down stairs.

"Eat," his mother ordered, setting food down in front of him. Gerard felt kind of nauseous, and he was already running late, but his mom wasn't going to take no for an answer. She must have known he hadn't really eaten anything since Saturday. Maybe he was losing more weight. He quickly shoveled eggs and toast into his mouth, and he and Mikey were headed to school fifteen minutes later.

"You're drunk aren't you?" Mikey broke the silence when they were almost at the school.

"Is it that obvious?" Gerard asked.

"To me it is," Mikey sighed. He looked sad.

"I'm sorry, Mikey," Gerard said.

"Whatever," Mikey responded, and treaded ahead. They were five minutes late, so Gerard was caught in the hallways alone. At least he thought he was alone, but then a finger tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned to see Lin-z. He blushed.

"H-hey, Lin-z," he said, stuttering slightly. "What's up?"

"Do you want to skip first hour?" she asked him, and he blushed again.

"Huh?"

"I want to go for some coffee, but they say it's not safe for a girl to walk around Belleview alone. I was just wondering..." She looked down at her converse and then back up at Gerard, as if not allowing herself to feel ashamed. Gerard wished he was better at that.

"Yeah, sure!" he said. "I'd love to!" his face broke into an uneasy smile, but he liked the idea of going to get coffee with her. Then again, he never thought he'd go get coffee with the girl that shoved him face first into cake.

As they were walking they talked about things- music, school, friends and stuff. Gerard sudenly realized why he hadn't liked her when he'd first talked to her (besides the fact that he'd just been faced with cake). She sounded confident when she talked, and she sounded like she didn't take any shit from anyone. Gerard tended to talk like that too. They were really similar.

In the short walk to the coffee place Lin-z learned that Gerard loved the Misfits and Iron Maiden, along with Green Day and some other newer bands, but he had a slight hatred for Nu-Metal. He loved to draw, and he wrote songs. Lin-z thought that he was really cute, the way he blushed when their hands brushed as they were walking, and the way he got excited about comic books. She might have liked him more than she originally thought.

"You're hair looks good today," Lin-z mentioned. "It looks different,"

Gerard blushed and chuckled. "My mom made me wash it," he confessed.

Lin-z laughed too, and Gerard thought her laugh was adorable. They finished their coffee and headed back to the school. When their hands brushed three times, Lin-z gave in and grabbed his hand in hers. He looked down, surprised, but didn't pull away. The thought haunted his mind that the last hand he'd held was Frank's. In the nursing home. When Elena was still alive. _Shit._

Back at school Lin-z stood by while Gerard rummaged in his backpack. He kind of wanted to do this in private, but if she had to be there then whatever. He didn't have long before second hour started. Gerard popped four antidepressants and swallowed them.

"What's that?" Lin-z asked, looking confused.

"Celexa," Gerard looked bashful. "Antidepressants,"

"Are you supposed to take that many?" Lin-z asked.

Gerard shrugged. "I don't know, however many work,"

Something caught her eye in his locker and she reached in and grabbed it before he could stop her. She looked down at the flask, then popped it open and sniffed.

"Is this VODKA!?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah," Gerard's eyes narrowed and he snatched it back. For good measure he took a chug out of it. She glared back at him.

"Don't you think it's stupid to drink at school?" she asked.

"I don't care," Gerard shrugged.

"Well maybe you should!" she snapped, taking the flask from him and stomping off down the hall.

"HEY!" Gerard trailed after her. "Give it back!"

She stormed into the girl's bathroom and popped it open. Gerard rushed in after her without shame. A girl screamed when she saw him.

"Get out of here, fag!" she squealed, and Gerard ignored her. He tried stopping Lin-z from pouring all his booze down the drain.

"Goddamnit!" he cursed as it was all emptied out and she tossed it back to him. "What the hell!"

"I'm not letting you get in trouble for being a moron," Lin-z spat. Gerard was pissed. He turned and punched the thing on the wall that dispensed paper towels and the front fell off and clattered to the floor. Gerard's hand started bleeding and he whimpered and sucked the blood away. "Smooooth," Lin-z rolled her eyes.

"I-I'm sorry..." Gerard sighed "I don't know what came over me,"

"Look, Gerard," Lin-z finally sighed. She placed a firm hand on his shoulder, that was creeping towards the back of his neck and wrapping around. She pulled him in for a kiss, and then pulled away. Gerard was certain he had a stupid happy grin on his face. "I really like you," she said, "But I can't be with someone who's this wreckless with drugs and alcohol. Fix this, and then we'll talk," Lin-z turned and left the bathroom, leaving Gerard standing there, his lips tingling, his hand throbbing, his mind buzzing, and his heart empty.

!

Gerard saught Ray out before they went to lunch. Normally he would find Frank and they would walk together, but Gerard was still pissed at Frank. Besides he wanted to talk to Ray.

"Hey, you wanna come over tonight?" Gerard asked.

"Nah, I can't," Ray replied, stuffing books into his locker- reaching the top shelf without even going on his toes. _Frank would be jealous. He can barely reach it jumping. Stop thinking about Frank so much!_ "I'm going to see Ed in Coolsprings,"

"Oh, did he get a new apartment or something?" Gerard asked.

"Nah, he's in rehab," Ray felt a bit embarrassed talking about it. The only person he'd told was Frank. But he could tell Gerard this kind of stuff. "He overdosed on cocaine and was having some drinking problems,"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know," Gerard apologized.

"That's alright, I haven't really told anyone," Ray responded. "It was just bad you know? That's why I stopped drinking. It's not good to get mixed up in drugs and alcohol too bad,"

He noticed Gerard blush slightly and look down at his shoes, which made Ray pleased that he'd gotten his point through.

"You seem on high spirits today," Ray mentioned, ready to change the subject. He obviously failed at that.

"Uh, yeah," Gerard coughed. "Antidepressants..." Gerard's voice trailed off.

"Oh," Ray said.

"Dude, I think I have a problem," Gerard confessed, not making eyecontact with Ray. Ray stared down at his friend, concerned.

"Come on," he finally said and turned to walk away. "Let's eat outside today," He took two steps and then realized Gerard was still glued to his spot. Ray sighed and reached back to grab Gerard's hand, then led him out to the front steps.

"Hey fags!" someone called to them after they walked past.

"Say it to my face, you mother fuckers!" Ray challenged, but they didn't. People hardly ever mess with Ray.

Ray sat Gerard down on the front steps and sat down next to him. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I've been drinking since my grandma died," Gerard took a deep breath before speaking.

"You've drank alcohol since eighth grade," Ray said. "Has something changed?"

"It's more than normal. I-it's like all the time. Whenever I think about Elena or about... never mind," Gerard's voice trailed off and he blushed again.

"Tell me, G Man. What else?" Ray urged.

"I'm bisexual," Gerard admitted, not making eye contact with Ray at all. He was so embarrassed to tell him this. He didn't know why he was. Homophobia was gay! But the next thing he was about to say was even more humiliating. Here goes nothing. "And I've had a crush on Frank for a while now,"

"Yeah, I knew that," Toro totally caught Gerard off guard.

"Huh!?"

"Gerard, I knew you were bisexual for sure when you and Frank kissed at the church. But I've figured you were since like sophmore year," Ray laughed.

"What happened sophmore year?" Gerard asked.

"We dared you to go to the mall in drag and you did it," Ray smiled.

"Oh yeah..."

"What else is bothering you?"

"Mostly the drinking thing... but it's like, whenever I think about those things, Elena especially, I just get this big empty feeling inside, and I automatically reach for a bottle. I've been taking way more antidepressants than I'm supposed to... I just feel so... dirty I guess," Gerard sighed after speaking and leaned back on the steps. Ray watched him.

"You haven't told anyone else about what you're going through?" Gerard shook his head no.

"I've also been thinking about suicide again," Gerard choked out the word. The last time he'd been thinking about suicide was when he and Mary broke up. She'd been cheating on him with one of the jocks, pictures to prove it, and Gerard was crushed.

Ray looked worried, and he settled his hand on Gerard's back and rubbed small, soothing circles. "Why haven't you told anyone this yet, Gee?"

"Who was I supposed to tell!?" Gerard demands. "Frank hates me-"

"No he doesn't,"

"Mikey's bipolar, I don't want to freak him out any worse. My parents think I'm messed up enough as it is. And Elena's... dead. I don't know what to do!" Gerard cried, banging his forehead down on his knees. Ray continued to rub his back.

"We're friends right?" Ray asked.

"Duh, of course we are, Toro," Gerard responded.

"Then you can talk to me. Anytime, about anything. Next time you think you need to drink or want to kill yourself, call me," Ray instructed. Gerard sat up and nodded slowly.

"What if it's like at two in the morning?" Gerard asked.

"I'll still listen," the bell rang above them and Gerard groaned. He didn't want to go to class, but he knew he had to.

"Why don't you come with me tonight?" Ray asked. "To see my brother,"

"You'd be okay with that?" Gerard asked.

"Yeah, sure. It'll help you to get away from here for a few hours," Ray smiled.

"You're not gonna lock me up there are you?" Gerard glared suspisciously up at his friend, who started laughing.

"No,"

!

Frank, Bob, and Mikey sat in the cafeteria slightly confused.

"Where's Gee and Toro?" Mikey asked.

"Beats me," Bob shrugged.

Frank was about to speak when someone hit him on the head with their tray, and someone else dumped a load of trash on the table, showering it over them like confetti.

"Surprise!" someone sang and Frank fumed, ready to kick somebody's ass. Suddenly though someone sat down next to him and slipped a hand onto his thigh, a little higher than any normal stranger would. Frank turned to see Jamia.

"Don't let them bug you," Jamia whispered in his ear. "I can change the records so that they have interior design next sememster,"

Frank chuckled and kissed Jamia cheek. "You're amazing," he whispered back.

Mikey coughed awkwardly. "Heyyyy, lovebirds. Secrets don't make friends,"

"Yeah," Bob added.

"You want me to discuss what his tongue feels like inside my mouth with all of you?" Jamia raised an eyebrow, and Frank let out a snort of laughter.

"I'm sure Gerard would love to hear about that," Mikey teased, nudging Bob with his elbow. Bob chuckled. Mikey was allowed to tease his brother, becuase he was Gerard's little brother. That was in his job description.


	51. Chapter 51

Peter approached Mikey after school at his locker. For a second Mikey was scared he was about to get his butt kicked or something, but then Peter smiled a nice, genuine smile and Mikey felt better.

"Hey man, I'm sorry bout what Kevin did earlier," Peter apologized, and Mikey stared up at him with large eyes for a second.

"You're not the one who needs to apologize," Mikey finally said. "And it's okay, I'm used to it,"

"You looked pretty shook up about it," Peter said, and Mikey felt himself blush.

"Hard times, these days," Mikey shrugged.

"So I was wondering if you wanna come to a party this weekend," Peter said, and Mikey was so confused that his coffee slipped from his hand and landed on the hallway floor with a splat, spilling everywhere.

"Ugh, gross! Uhhh, what?" Mikey looked up from the gross coffee to Peter, then down and back again.

Peter laughed, "Do you wanna come to a party this weekend?" Peter repeated. "It's at my place, we're going to have a big ass bonfire. You dig?"

"Uhh, sure, yeah," Mikey stuttered out. But then he thought about being stuck at Peter's house, surrounded by all those jocks and preps that hated him. There was no way this was legit, it had to be a setup. "But..."

"And I know you don't really get along with my group," Peter said, as if reading Mikey's mind. "But I want this to be big, so you can bring your friends with if you want. Gerard and Frank and those guys,"

"Legit!?" Mikey asked.

"Yeah, legit. Come on, I promise it's not a set up, and if they try to start shit I'll take care of it, okay?" Peter set a hand on Mikey's shoulder, and Mikey looked at the hand then traced it up Peter's arm to his face. Peter looked honest, so Mikey sighed and grinned.

"Alright, I'm in," Mikey said, and Peter smiled. Mikey really hoped he hadn't made a dangerous decision.

!

Bob pulled his beanie down over his ears and shoved his hands into his pockets, fighting against the harsh, cold autum wind. It was too cold for late September. Waaay too cold. He marched his way away from his high school towards the Elementary school his sister went to. He could no longer rely on his mom to remember to pick her up, since she was distracted with her boyfriend. Bob was becoming even more responsible than he'd ever had to be before. And he detested his father for always being gone. _If Dad wasn't gone, then Mom wouldn't be lonely. She wouldn't be having an affair. I wouldn't have to take care of Danni._ Then Bob realized how selfish he sounded, and he just got mad at himself.

Before he knew it he was at the steps of Danni's school. He walked up to the pick-up line and approached the lady that looked like the principal.

"Hey, I'm here for Danielle Bryar," Bob said to the older woman in front of him. He dug his student ID out of his pocket. "I'm Bob, her older brother. Our mom is sick," Bob knew they didn't just let kids go off without an excuse, and they were used to his mom picking her up. The principal smiled and called Danni's name. Dannielle trotted over to her brother and gave him a hug.

"Where's Mama," she asked.

"She forgot you here yesterday, so I figured I'd just come get you. We can go get sodas or something," Bob smiled when his sister's face lit up.

!

Gerard seemed rather uneasy as the walked through the halls of the rehabilitation center, and Ray asked him about it.

"This place reminds me of the nursing home Grandma was in," Gerard whispered. "It's alright, I'll be okay," Gerard gave a forced smile and Ray led him through the halls. He was nervous too, since it was the first time he'd be visiting his brother in the center. He didn't know what shape Ed would be in, and the last time they'd seen each other they'd fought.

It turned out pretty good though. Ed was doing a lot better, and he'd been sober for two weeks now. He wasn't getting in trouble, he was doing pretty good. Ray introduced Ed to Gerard, since Ed hadn't seen any of Ray's friends since they were all in sixth grade.

They talked for a while, not really about Ed or Gerard's problems, but just about random stuff. Normal stuff. By the time they were leaving, both Ed and Ray were smiling. They hugged goodbye, and Ray was happy he'd made up with his brother.

"It can always get better," Ray said, as he and Gerard climbed into his car.

"Huh?" Gerard looked up, lost in his thoughts.

"That just goes to prove it, no matter how bad it seems you can always make things better," Ray smiled, and Gerard smiled back. Maybe he was starting to feel better. Maybe he could still fix things.

!

Gerard collapsed into bed again that night and stared up at the ceiling. He didn't feel as bad as he'd been feeling of late, but he had a lot to think about. Gerard decided to try and stop drinking- no. Not try. He was going to stop. He'd let himself drink at gigs a bit, but not relying on it the way he had been.

Suddenly a text beeped on his phone. He picked it up and saw a trail of numbers he didn't recognize. The text read: **Im srry i sounded so harsh earlier. iv been hurt b4 and dnt wnt to get to close to someone thts gonna hurt me**

** Who is this?** Gerard texted back, having an idea but not really sure.

**Linz **the phone responded.

**oh ok. **Gerard texted back. He didn't wait for a response though. He picked up his phone and added** u wanna get coffee aftr skool tomorro? i wanna tlk to you. im srry about earlier**

** idk** the response crushed Gerard's heart.

**please?**

** ok**

** :) **

Lin-z didn't text back after that, but Gerard was happy anyways. He smiled and set his phone on his chest. Gerard really wanted to text Lin-z more, but he also didn't want to sound clingy or anything. His door peeked open and Mikey popped his head in.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Enter," Gerard said in a deeper voice than usual. Mikey cracked a smile.

"How are you doing?" Mikey asked, and Gerard smiled again.

"I'm doing well," Gerard said. "I really am,"

"Ray called me earlier," Mikey mentioned, flipping through a comic book on Gerard's desk.

"Oh?" Gerard raised an eyebrow.

"He didn't say anything," Mikey said, making sure Gerard wouldn't be mad at Ray. "He asked me to keep an eye on you though. Gerard, do you feel bad that I'm bipolar?"

Gerard sat up and met Mikey's eyes. They stared at each other, neither moving for a few moments while they kept eye contact. They were having a silence conversation, and then Mikey understood.

"I don't want you to feel bad about it, okay?" Mikey asked. "It's nobody's fault that I'm bipolar, just like we can't blame anyone for you being depressed. Shit happens," Gerard nodded, and Mikey bit down on his bottom lip and dropped the comic book on the desk.

"I've been worried about you man," Mikey admitted. "I'm worried about how much you're drinking. It feels like I'm losing my brother, like I can't talk to you anymore," Mikey sighed and dropped his head, and he pushed his hands into his pockets. Gerard stood up and faced him.

"I'm going to get better," Gerard said. "I'm going to stop drinking, and we're going to get through this," Gerard said.

"C-can I show ya something?" Mikey asked, sounding really nervous. Gerard nodded dumbly. "You might wanna sit down," Gerard sat back down on the edge of his bed and Mikey joined him. "T-the other night. I d-didn't ... Mom and Dad were fighting again... I felt like I couldn't talk to anybody, you know? And I... well..." Mikey shut his mouth and pulled his shirt sleeve up, revealing the bloodied scratches that decorated his wrist. He heard Gerard gasp, and he felt tears start to form in his eyes.

"Mikey..." Gerard whispered, looking away from the horrible sight before him, that was scabbing over but still looked like hell. "What the hell, man?" he whispered. But he didn't sound angry, and he wrapped his arms around Mikey. "God, Mikey, I'm so sorry,"

"Don't be sorry," Mikey said, trying to wipe away tears from his face. "I-I feel so stupid about all of this, Gerard,"

"Promise you won't do it again, Mikes. Promise me," Gerard said, still not sounding angry, and Mikey was still grateful.

"I promise," Mikey whispered back. "Don't tell anybody okay?"

"I won't, don't worry," Gerard reassured.

"Boys, dinner!" Mrs. Way's call came up, and Gerard rolled his eyes.

And suddenly Gerard laughed, startling Mikey. "We're sure fucked up, ain't we Mikes?"

"Haha, yeah," Mikey smiled. "You gonna eat tonight?"

"Dude, I am so fucking hungover," Gerard moaned, and Mikey laughed again, grabbing his wrist and pulling him by the wrist.

"You need to eat anyways, dude, you look like you're fucking Paris Hilton but with tighter pants and black hair," Mikey said, pulling Gerard down the stairs while they both laughed. Gerard was already feeling a lot better.


	52. Chapter 52

The day could not go by fast enough. Gerard had- once again, taken a shower before school. Wow, two days in a row. That was a cleanliness record for Gerard. He'd already moved in a snail like pace through his first four hours and lunch. Now he was in fifth hour English dying slowly of boredum. Frank sat at a diagonal infront of him on his left, and they had been given free time. Any other time the two boys would be imersed in each other's company, but not today. They still hadn't spoken. Gerard felt guilty, and he didn't exactly understand why, so he pushed the feelings down.

Their English assignment was to write a poem. How easy could it get? But it seemed that when Gerard was trying desperately to call on his song writing skills he had nothing to say. He thought about simply using one of his older songs that he'd already written, but that was short cutting. Gerard was up for the challenge, and he needed something new.

He wracked his brain and eventually started doodling. He was staring at Frank- unintentionally, while he drew. The bell rang and startled him from his daydreams, and he looked down at the figure on the paper. It was Lin-z. Gerard sighed and dropped his head on his desk with a clunk. He was so confused.

!

It had been a good day. First good day for a long time. Mikey smiled as he sat down at his desk in last hour Algebra. He actually had his homework done, he knew how to do the work, nothing terrible had happened that day so far, and his teacher was wearing a turtle-neck (great defender against accidental cleavage spottage and annoying teenage boner syndrome).

"Okay, who has the answer to number three?" she asked, scanning the class. Nobody raised their hands, but hell! Mikey knew the answer. He raised his arm up in the air. He would regret that soon.

When Mikey raised his arm up the sleeve of his blazer fell down a bit, and of course he'd worn a short sleeve shirt under it that day. It fell down, revealed his wrist and...

"Oh My God! Way actually IS an emo kid!" Kevin shouted out, grabbing Mikey's wrist. Mikey hissed in pain as Kevin pulled his to stand. Kevin raised their hands in the air and turned so the whole class could see Mikey's cuts. There was a collective gasp and then people started whispering.

"They have facilities for people like him..." Mikey heard someone mutter, and he felt tears spring to his eyes. He tried to pull his arm free, but Kevin simply tightened his grip and it really hurt Mikey's arm. He cried out.

"Kevin, that is enough!" the teacher scolded, finally over her shock. Kevin just stood there laughing like an idiot and waving Mikey's arm around.

"Let him go, Kevin!" Peter was on his feet now. Mikey desperately pulled at his arm, whimpering.

"What you gonna do about-" Peter's fist connected with the side of Kevin's face, and Kevin stumbled backwards and his the teacher's desk. Mikey was thrown backwards as well, but Kevin's grip was loosened and he got free just as Peter jumped on Kevin.

"Boys! Stop it!" the teacher yelled. Mikey stared at the class, all of whom were watching in horror and amusement. Several of them were staring at Mikey. He couldn't take it, he ran from the room.

Mikey ran through the halls, having no idea where to go. He found himself in the office eventually.

"There's a fight in H23!" he yelled before taking off again. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. EVERYONE had seen his scars. EVERYONE had seen him crying. _God I am such a fucking pussy!_ Mikey punched a nearby locker as hard as he could and it really hurt. He sunk to his knees and simply cried more.

He then started muttering out loud with his sobs. "M-mama... Gerard... somebody, please," he cried and pushed his fists into his eyes. God everything hurt so much. Why did it hurt so bad? It was that uncontrollable sadness, anger, eating away at him. He couldn't stop it! Grr, the medicine they'd given him was supposed to fix this!

"Mikey?" a voice came, and Mikey ignored it. "Mikey!" Someone crouched in front of him and put their hands on his shoulders. They smelled like ink, cigarettes, and really cheap shampoo.

"G-Gerard!" Mikey cried out, still curled up.

"Stand up, come on, buddy," Gerard pulled Mikey to his feet and held him in a hug, rocking him back and forth. "Mikey what happened?"

"Everyone saw," he cried. "Everyone saw them,"

"Sh, it's okay," Gerard said, rocking them back and forth. "Come on, let's just go home," Gerard kept a protective arm around Mikey and walked him out of the school. Several people turned and sent strange looks their way but Gerard just flipped them off and kept walking. They finally made it home and walked through the kitchen. Mikey sat down at the table silently, still sniffling slightly, and Gerard noticed the answering machine was blinking with a new message. Gerard pressed the button.

"Mikey, dear," it was their mother's voice. "You forgot to take your medicine this morning. Make sure you do that as soon as you get home, okay? I hope you had a good day. I love you," It beeped and Gerard stared at it a second before going to the cabinet and pulling out the bottle.

"That would explain a few things," Gerard said, setting the pill down in front of Mikey. "Take this,"

Mikey swallowed it as he was told, but he still couldn't swallow the lump in his throat.

"You're gonna be okay, man," Gerard said, rubbing circles on his little brother's back. "Come on, let's go upstairs and play Call Of Duty,"

Mikey sniffled, "Okay."

They played for a good few hours and Mikey was having fun. So was Gerard, but he couldn't help but feel like he'd forgotten something. He pushed the thought away until that night when he was laying in bed. Why is it that you always remember things when you're supposed to be sleeping? Gerard's stomach dropped and his heart started pounding. _Oh my God!_ He's totally blown Lin-z off! Holy crap! She was going to be pissed.

Gerard groaned and rolled over in his bed. He grabbed his phone and noticed there were three new texts.

**Where r u?**

** Gerard?**

** thanks 4 setting me up. fuck you**

Gerard sent out a text of his own. ** Omg im so sorry i just remembrd. sumthin happend w/ my bro and i had to take him home. omg im srry!**

** wat hppnd w/ mikey?**

** ill tell u about it tomoro... its comp. plz, give me a 2nd chance?**

** this wud be your third chance dummy**

** ok, third chance. plz?**

** fine. aftr school, front steps. 3 o clock! **

** thanks:)**

Once again Gerard was the last one to text. He lay, cradling his phone, and read back over the messages. He laughed where she called him dummy. That was cute. It reminded him of... Elena. Shit. Gerard rolled over again and this time fell asleep, only to have bad dreams.

!

Frank sat at his window and stared out it. He found himself staring at Gerard's window. The light was off, even though it was only eleven. Frank sighed, feeling like a creep for staring at Gerard's window so long. But he seriously missed his best friend. Even if he was an asshole sometimes.

!

Lin-z and Gerard walked to the coffee shop together and sat down in a booth. They drank their coffee and talked, and Gerard couldn't help but feeling like he really liked Lin-z. He was nervous. What if she didn't feel the same way? It would be just like what happened with Frank.

"What's on your mind?" Lin-z asked.

"Oh, nothing..." Gerard said.

"Something's bugging you, I can tell," Lin-z said. "You look tired."

"I didn't sleep well," Gerard shrugged.

"Bad dreams?"

"Yeah," Gerard sighed. "I'm trying really hard... to cut back on the drugs... it's hard though, ya know?" Lin-z smiled weakly, like she understood. It was sweet of him to try that hard. "I mean I just start thinking about my grandma, or about Frank, and it's hard. I just... sometimes feel like it's not worth it..."

Gerard bit his lip and his hand formed a fist under the table. He felt so stupid, dumping all of this on her. She didn't care. Gerard was just going to scare her off. _You're just a sad song with nothing to say._

"I'm sorry," Gerard muttered. "I'm being stupid."

"No, you're not," Lin-z reassured. She reached a hand across the table and set in on Gerard's. "You're obviously going through a hard time right now," Gerard nodded. "Why don't you tell me about it?"

"I-I just can't," Gerard sighed. He pulled his hand back. "I'm sorry, can we just go?" Lin-z looked disappointed, but she stood. Gerard paid and they left. They went their separate ways and Gerard locked himself in his room. At least it was Friday, so he wouldn't have to go to school in the morning. But he had to go to that stupid gig the next day.

Wait, when did he start thinking of their gigs like that? He loved to perform! Dammnit, what was wrong with him? He sat there and felt the need to drink get stronger. His eyes settled on the bottle of Celexa across the room on his desk. _No, Gerard, don't you dare,_ he told himself. But in the blink of an eye he was across the room with two more pills sliding down his throat. Shit, he did it again. Gerard threw the bottle across the room as hard as he could and was simply grateful that he'd run out of booze. Otherwise he wouldn't have been able to control himself.

He sat down at his desk and a piece of paper caught his eye. He pulled on the corner of it to bring it out, and noticed it was strange handwriting. Before he could stop himself he was reading it.

_Dear Gerard,_

_ If you're reading this that means I'm finally dead and that you found where I hid it in your notebook. Congratulations, you do have a brain in there. No, I know you have a brain, it's just getting you to use it sometimes is the trouble. It doesn't matter significantly if you sang the song at the funeral- if not that's okay. But I want you to do one thing for me. When you make it big- when you're a rock star and your band is famous- sing the song. At just one concert, I don't care where. It isn't for me darlin- it's for you. I know how you are, and you're going to hold onto my death for a long time. You're probably angry with me- you little ass hole. The song explains it. I didn't WANT to leave you. I didn't want to hurt you. But I just couldn't take it anymore. I don't want you to be afraid to keep on living. You'll never walk the world alone, because I'm in your heart, forever. _

_ Keep an eye on Mikey. Give him a big hug and a kiss and smack him upside the head for me. I love both of you so much! And if you do anything stupid- I'm up in heaven watching you, so be good or I'll haunt you. I was supposed to go to hell ya know, but the devil couldn't stand me. _

_ So long, my Vampire 3_

Gerard read the letter several times and couldn't help but let a few tears fall down his cheeks. He wanted to go to heaven to see her. It would be so easy- just to end it. Who would miss him? Nobody. No, Mikey. Mikey would get over it. Nobody would miss him. Gerard eyed the bottle of pills across the room and considered it. No, that's not how he wanted to go. It might not work. He needed a sure answer. He noticed a Swiss Army knife sitting on his nightstand. It was from when he, Frank, and Ray were in boyscouts. Frank got kicked out of boyscouts, so they all quit- because without Frank it wasn't any fun. God, Gerard missed Frank so much. Not even in a sexual way- just as his friend. Gerard considered slitting his wrists. That would do it, right? No, not good enough. But the throat...

Gerard walked across the room and picked up the knife. He pulled it open and ran the blade down his finger. He cringed when it broke the skin. No, he deserved the pain. He wasn't worth anything.

Gerard walked to his mirror and held the knife up to his throat. It would work. It could work...

Gerard panicked, throwing the knife across the room. It stuck itself in the wall. He sunk to a crouch right there in the corner and breathed as deep as he could. He couldn't do it. He had to do it. _Fucking pussy, just do it! I can't… I have to…_ Gerard stood up quickly, went to his phone, and dialed Ray's number. He didn't care if it was almost midnight. Ray had said anytime.

"Hello?" it was Ray's voice. Gerard couldn't form words, but a sob escaped his lips. He hadn't realized he'd been crying.

"Hey, Gerard? You okay? Gee?" it was Ray's voice.

"R-ray," Gerard said. "I-I can't do this. I can't keep going. I need to end it,"

"Whoa, whoa, calm down," Ray sounded scared, and it scared Gerard. Another sob escaped. _Dammnit._ "Come on, Gee Man, keep talking to me," Ray said, and Gerard could hear him moving around.

"I want to die, Ray. I wanna see her again," Gerard cried. "So bad,"

"I know, I know buddy," Ray's voice was gentle. Gerard heard a car engine start. "Just wait, okay? You can wait, can't you?"

"Y-yeah, I don't know, Ray," Gerard's voice broke. "It's never felt this bad before,"

"It'll get better," Ray said. "I promise it will get better."

"Are you coming over?" Gerard asked.

"Yeah, I'll be there in ten minutes," Ray said. _I could kill myself by then. Then he couldn't stop me. _

"I'm so sorry," Gerard sobbed.

"Don't be sorry. You don't need to be sorry. It's okay,"

"It can't be okay. She's gone Ray! She's fucking gone,"

"I know, I know,"

"I want to drink, but it never helped me forget enough. I was never enough... I just want to forget... I just want it to end,"

Ray weighed his options. Gerard probably had his door locked, and if Ray contacted Mikey then Mikey would freak out. If Mikey freaked out, it would freak Gerard out and he'd want to escape as fast as he could. No, that would not be good. Ray wished that Frank and Gerard weren't fighting. Then he'd call Frank. Frank would handle it, but Gerard and Frank weren't even speaking. They were both too hurt_. Damnnit!_

"You can forget, Gee. It's okay, just keep talking to me. We'll get you through it,"

Ray was almost there. Two minutes later he pulled up in front of Gerard's house. He silently crept through the house to Gerard's room and knocked on the door as lightly as he could. It was unlocked, so he went in. That's when he found Gerard.


	53. Chapter 53

Frank went to bed just five minutes early, otherwise he would have seen Ray's car hurriedly pull into the Way's parking space and seen his afro-tastic friend running into the house. Otherwise he would have ran over there himself, scared out of his mind. Instead, he went to bed and had nightmares.

Ray burst through Gerard's door as quietly as he could, and that's when he saw Gerard. Laying in the middle of the bedroom floor, half drunk, but still alive. Ray's knees nearly gave out in relief, so he quickly knelt next to Gerard.

"Hey, hey man," he whispered, trying to brush some of Gerard's thick greasy hair out of his face. "Come on, sit up," he pulled Gerard up to sit and face him. Gerard's face was still wet with tears, but he wasn't crying currently and they were drying to feel sticky on his face. He felt stupid. He felt useless. Ray had come all this way in the middle of the night just to help him. He felt like a bother. Maybe he should just die.

It took two hours for Ray to finally talk Gerard down from his cliff. It took two hours for Gerard to finally calm down enough and think rationally. Two hours for Ray's heart to finally stop beating sixty-miles-a-minute. And he knew that everything was going to be okay.

"I'm staying here tonight," Ray said, snatching a pillow off of Gerard's bed and stretching out on the floor while Gerard perched on the edge of his bed sitting indian style.

"You really don't have to do that," Gerard sighed. "I'm okay now, I promise," Gerard managed to crack a small grin.

"Dude, there's no way I'm driving home like this. I'm fucking exhausted," Ray said, grinning back. It was two in the morning, and when you're completely exhausted everything is either tragic or hilarious. They were both beginning to feel giddy (finally! for Gerard).

"I can't sleep," Gerard said, knowing it was true. He was completely and totally exhausted, but there was too much going through his mind to sleep. If he tried to sleep, he would fail.

"What do you want to do then?" Ray asked, forcing himself to sit up. Gerard shrugged. "Wanna listen to music?" he asked, and Gerard nodded.

"You choose," he shrugged again, and watched as Ray got up and walked over to his cd collection that was piled up next to his cd player. There were a lot, but Ray finally found the Metallica one that he loved and popped it in. When he turned around to smile at Gerard (he couldn't run out of smiles, he had to keep Gerard's spirits up), he saw that he was fast asleep. Ray rolled his eyes and turned the volume down. He noticed Gerard- the helpless guy, was going to fall off the bed at that rate so he shifted him so he was at least ON the bed and pulled a blanket over him. Then he stretched back out on the floor and fell asleep instantly.

!

"Hey Gerard!" Mikey called, waking both Gerard and Ray up, as he pushed open the door. "Oh hey Toro. Gee, a guy just called and said they had to cancel our spot tonight, so the gig is off. But I'm going to Peter's party. You game?" Mikey asked.

"Nah, I'm just going to stay home tonight," Gerard said, yawning and forcing himself to sit up. "What time is it?"

"Almost noon,"

"Damn,"

"Hey Ray, are you going to the party?" Mikey asked Ray, who was sitting on the floor scratching his afro.

"I dunno," Ray mumbled sleepily. "Gimme a few hours to wake up,"

Mikey laughed and left the room, and Ray fell back down onto the pillow. He was completely exhausted, but a party sounded fun. But what about Gerard... he didn't feel comfortable leaving him here by himself.

He opened his eyes to see Gerard laying on his side, staring at him. "You can go to the party if you want, Ray. I'll be okay," Gerard said, obviously reading Ray's mind_. Because Gerard is obviously a vampire, like from Twilight, and can read my mind now. _

"I dunno," Ray finally said, staring up at Gerard. "Are you sure?"

"Dude, you helped me so much last night. I don't know how I could repay you," Gerard said, smiling slightly.

"Let me borrow a t-shirt for the day, this one smells like shit," Ray said, sniffing at himself. _Ew. _Gerard walked to his dresser, pulled out a shirt, and tossed it to Ray. It had Smashing Pumkins on it, and Ray slipped it over his head. It smelled good, like laundry detergant. "Thanks man,"

Later, Ray and Gerard were sitting out on Gerard's front porch. They were talking about life, the universe, and girls.

"If it makes you feel any better about leaving me here, Lin-z just texted and asked if she could come over tonight," Gerard said, slipping his phone into his pocket.

"Lin-z? I thought you guys hated each other," Ray looked at Gerard confused.

"Things have changed, Raymond. She's totally stunning," Gerard said, whistfully.

"Ooooh somebody's in loooooove," Ray drawled, sounding like a fifth grader.

"Oh shut up, Toro," Gerard punched Ray on the shoulder. "I really do like her though,"

"You think you got a chance?" Ray asked.

"God, I hope I do. But you know how it is, with guys like us," Gerard sighed.

"Hey!" Ray protested. "My hair is sexy!"

"Sure it is, Toro. But we're like birth control, dude. Nobody wants us," Gerard sighed agian.

"Dude, you like D&D, Audrey Hepherd, Fangoria, and croquet. You can't swim, you can't dance, and you don't know karate. Face it, you're never gonna make it," Ray said, leaning forward and studying Gerard. But Gerard's gaze was off in the distance.

"I don't wanna make it. I just wanna..."

"Gerard! Mom wants you!" Mikey called, opening to front door. Ray had been leaning on it, so he fell in at Mikey's feet, and Mikey giggled at him. "Hello again, Ray. I see you've come crawling back," Mikey joked.

!

The party was a bonfire party. It was loud and there was a lot of underaged drinking going on. Mikey didn't know if Peter's parents knew about all the booze, or if Peter even knew about the booze, but he did and so did everyone else. Still, Mikey was trying to stay sober. He was sticking tight to Ray and Bob. Frank was hanging around too, but he had Jamia, and they kept spontaneously dropping out of the conversation to play tonsel hockey.

Mikey sipped at his beer. It tasted like somebody stole his wallet, and he checked his pocket just to be sure. Bob was getting kind of drunk, and he was actually dancing around and being silly. Ray wasn't drinking, because he didn't drink anymore- ever. Well, not ever. Well, he didn't really know. Maybe Ray would drink again one day, just not now. Even Tito was there, hanging out with the guys. But he kept disappearing to hang out with his senior friends. Mikey couldn't help thinking that it would be more fun with Gerard there. After all, Gerard was his best friend besides his brother.

And then a girl sat down next to Mikey and smiled. Mikey blushed and stared at her. He looked over at Ray for guidance, but his older friend was still watching Bob dance and laughing. Suddenly the bon fire felt much hotter, and Mikey turned back to the girl, who scootched closer to him.

"My name's Alicia. What's yours?" she asked him.

"uuh," Wait, he had a name? Oh, right! "Mikey,"

"Do we go to school together?" she asked. "I might have seen you in classes before,"

"Yeah, we're in the same math class," Mikey said, and then both teens blushed, thinking of the day before.

"It's shitty, what Kevin did to you," Alicia said, and Mikey fumbled with his hands.

"Yeah, I guess," Mikey mumbled out.

"Can I see it?" Alicia asked, motioning to Mikey's wrist. He bit down on his bottom lip, cautious. He didn't want to show anyone... but what harm would it do? Unless she was a heartless bitch and was going to stab him in the back or something. Oh what the hell, it's a fucking party!

Mikey pulled the sleeve of his hoodie up to show the cuts, which were nearly healed. Alicia gently took his arm and raised it, then kissed his wrist. Her lips were very, very soft, and Mikey stared at the girl before him in wonder. She raised her head and looked him in the eyes with big, glowing eyes that were lit up by the bonfire.

"A kiss, so it will get better," Alicia said, smiling slightly and looking embarrassed.

"Thank you," Mikey said, feeling embarrassed. "Y-you don't think I'm some kind of pussy, for doing that?" he asked.

"No, I understand," Alicia said.

They spent the rest of the night talking.

!

Ray refused to leave until Lin-z showed up, then he bid the 'love birds' as he called them, goodbye and left with Mikey- who was impatient to get to the party. Gerard's father stared at his son with a girl, and smiled with the quiet declaration that "alas, my son is not gay,"

They went up to Gerard's room, his mother forcing them to keep the door open, and hung out. Lin-z went through Gerard's vast cd collection and pointed out bands she liked, loved, recognized, or hated. She liked almost all of them, and they both agreed that Queen was the best rock band in the history of performing arts.

Over all they had a great time, just hanging out. Lin-z found a bottle of black nail polish under Gerard's bed, and Gerard laughed- realizing it was the one Frank had lost forever ago. He'd have to return it, if they ever started talking again. Lin-z used it to paint Gerard's nails black, and he in turn painted hers.

Gerard's mom offered for Lin-z to stay for dinner, and she was overjoyed to spend some more time with Gerard. They were really hitting it off, and Gerard seemed happier than he had before. Less shy, more in his element, but also like something had changed a little.

"Maybe you should right a song about them," Lin-z said, after she'd asked about Frank and Elena. "Your music is beautiful, and it seems to be really personal. Maybe it would help you," she offered to help him with one, and he agreed. Together they peiced together one song, and then Gerard wrote the other while Lin-z played with his cd's.

Lin-z was heading home around eight-thirty, and Gerard smiled happily as he floated up to his room. He looked over the songs he'd written out, and he really liked both of them. The one he'd written for Elena was really personal, but he'd sung it for Lin-z and she loved it. Gerard loved it too.

_What's the worse that I can say? Things are better if I stay,_

That line meant a lot. Things were going to be better if Gerard stayed. No matter how much he missed his grandma, he wasn't going to kill himself.

And then Gerard walked around his room, singing softly the one he'd written for Frank. He hadn't sung that one to Lin-z, because that would have seemed wrong. It was Frank's song, and he had to sing it for him first. He didn't even know if he could perform it- maybe it'd just be a personal thing for them.

Gerard heard the house phone ring but he ignored it. If anyone wanted to contact him they used his cell. But then he heard his mothers voice calling, and he rolled his eyes and went downstairs. It was probably Aunt Marie wanting to waste a good hour of his time.

"Gerard, darling," his mother said. "It's Mikey. Something happened to your friend Bob,"


	54. Chapter 54

**Shout out to ya'll. Just wanted to send a BIG thank you to all of you guys who've reviewed. You seriously make my little black heart warm up when I see a review message in my inbox. it's like my drug- i love reviews! **

**sorry about the strangeness of my posting, none for a week, then BAMM! but yeah, i have a lot of SWANNY going on in my life right now. apparently a lot of people think i'm a bad kid now, or whatever. anyways, idc about security or shit. if you guys have anything comments, or suggestions for new stories, email is ninjajokalita . anything at all, seriously. i love emails like i love reviews. **

** so yeah, thanks again for reading. it means a lot to me:) if you're interested my deviantart is CalculateTheObvious. just throwing that out there. **

**-GothicToeLicker**

"What room are you guys in!?" Gerard demanded into his cell phone as he nearly ran through the automatic doors of the emergency room. "207. Got it." He approached the front desk. "I'm here to see my friend, Bob. Bob Bryar, he's hurt."

"If he wasn't hurt he wouldn't be here, sugar," the aging nurse, a latino woman with black hair pulled tight into a bun, and kind wrinkly eyes, said, handing Gerard his visitor sticker.

Gerard ran to the elevators, startling a man in an arm cast, and was bouncing in the elevator that wouldn't go fast enough. A woman looked at him irritated, but he ignored her and ran out as soon as the doors opened. He found the room quickly, and pondered a moment on knocking, then shook his head and just pushed the door open. He was pushed instantly out by a nurse.

"Son, I think you're lost. This is Critical Care, and you can't be in here right now," a nurse told him, pushing Gerard out of the room.

"No, you don't understand! My friend-"

"Dear, just go sit with the rest of them. You'll get to see him eventually," the nurse reassured, still blocking the door.

"But-"

"Gerard!" Gerard startled and turned to the voice addressing him. It was Frank, who grinned slightly and shoved his hands into his hoodie. "We're all in the waiting room, come on," Frank said, before turning and walking away. Gerard silently looked back at the nurse, who nodded in encouragement, and then back at Frank for a moment before following.

He was in mental turmoil and confusion. Bob was in the hospital and Gerard had no idea what was going on, he was totally in love with Lin-z, and those were the first words Frank had spoken to him in a while.

They were all seated in the waiting room- Mikey, Ray, Frank, Jamia, Peter, and some girl Gerard didn't recognize- who was sitting noticably close to Mikey.

"Guys, what's going on?" Gerard asked, scarred. Mikey patted the seat next to him and Gerard dropped down.

"Bob fell-" Peter started.

Frank interrupted angrily. "Was pushed!" Ray set a hand on Frank's shoulder in a silent way of telling him to calm down. Frank seemed pissed.

"-into the bonfire. It was pretty bad..." Peter finished. His eyes looked really sad, Gerard noticed, and he actually felt a bit sorry for Peter. But more over he was worried for Bob.

"Is he gonna be okay?" Gerard asked.

"The doctor thinks he is. It was mostly his legs, and they'll be able to fix him up okay," Ray said. Suddenly an angry voice could be heard from the hallway, and they all eyed the door suspiciously. The random man who had been asleep in the corner startled awake, and slowly inched a bit farther away from the group of teenagers.

"-What do you mean I can't see him!? That's my son! What happened to my Baby!" a woman screeched.

"Ma'am, please calm down," it was the same nurse from earlier.

"I'm willing to bet that is Bob's mom," Mikey said. He was now holding the hand of the girl next to him, but Gerard didn't pay much attention to it. He was more concerned by the woman's voice. It sounded absolutely terrified, and nobody else was making a move to go calm her down. Gerard stood and walked out of the room quickly, then approached who was probably Bob's mom. She was still arguing with the nurse, and she was crying.

"Ma'am," Gerard interrupted. She turned to look at Gerard, startled. She quickly looked him over and made a small frown.

"Who the hell are you?" she demanded. _Charming._

"I'm Gerard, Bob's friend. Come sit with us, Bob is going to be okay," Gerard reassured the woman, taking her by the hand. He noticed that she looked a lot like Bob- sturdy build, blonde hair, blue eyes. But then Gerard noticed something else. Hiding around the corner, tears streaming down her little red face, was a girl, no more than ten years old. She was a spitting image of the woman in front of them, except skinny. "They're right in there," Gerard said, pointing, then went and crouched in front of the little girl- who shyed back.

"Hey, it's okay," Gerard cooed. "Do you know Bob Bryar?" he asked.

"My brother," the little girl said, thick with tears. "Is he dying?" a sob escaped her for a moment.

"No, Bob's going to be fine," Gerard reassured. "He just got in a little accident, but he's going to be okay," Gerard said, and the girl stared at him with big eyes.

"I've seen you before," she said. "You're Bob's friend. I saw you on the internet," she added. Gerard smirked. They were on youtube now, huh?

"Yeah, I'm in a band with Bob," Gerard said. The girl gave a small smile.

"Bob really likes the band," the little girl said. "He didn't have many friends when we moved from Chicago, so he really likes the band,"

Gerard hadn't even known Bob had moved. He just thought he'd always been there. He hadn't known Bob had a little sister either. In fact, he didn't know much about Bob. That was kind of sad. He called himself Bob's friend and he barely knew the guy. He knew that Bob could play sick drums and liked good music- but that was about it. Gerard swore to himself he would get to know Bob a bit better. They were friends, after all.

"Yeah, I like the band too. It seems to be good at saving people, huh?" he joked. "How old are you?" he asked, plainly curious.

"Nine," she said in a tiny voice.

"You seem very smart for nine," Gerard smirked at her.

"I am. Bob said so," she smiled. "I don't want him to die,"

"It'll all be okay," Gerard reassured, then stood to his full height. "Come on, let's go wait with the others. It'll be okay, I promise. What's your name?"

"Danni," Danielle said, taking Gerard's hand. Together the two walked back to the waiting room.

An hour later- Mikey was fast asleep, and his lady friend (whome Gerard learned to call Alicia) had gone home. Peter had been called by his parents and had to go back home, but he would keep in touch. His parents, more than anything, were worried about a lawsuit. After all, a boy had caught fire on their property.

Gerard's phone buzzed right after Jamia got up to go to the bathroom. He looked down at it, and saw Lin-z had texted him. "Wen r u gonna sing the song 4 frank?" it read, and Gerard had nearly forgotten all about the song. He felt his pocket, and there was the peice of paper where it was written- although he had memorized the words. Gerard looked over at Frank, who was sitting there, bouncing his knee and twiddling his thumbs. Full of energy as always. Ray looked about to clonk out, and Gerard decided it was the best time to go for it.

"Hey, Frank," Gerard's voice was a bit rough from not being used. He tried to keep it to a whisper. "Frank, can we go somewhere to talk?" He was hoping Frank wasn't going to be an asshole about it, and Frank wasn't. He simply looked at Gerard, nodded, and then followed him out of the room.

Gerard found an empty room and pulled the curtain closed. He leaned back against a wall, studying the floor tiles, and Frank stood there with his hands in his pockets, staring curiously at Gerard with big eyes.

"I'm really fucking sorry, Frank," Gerard finally said. And Frank's mouth nearly fell open. Why was Gerard apologizing?

"W-why... you don't have anything to apologize for," Frank said, closing his mouth.

"I was an asshole," Gerard sighed.

"You were hurt," Frank interrupted. "I understand."

"I've been really confused the last couple weeks," Gerard said. "Ever since I realized I had a crush on you, honestly. I just wanted to tell you, I've figured it out," Gerard looked at Frank, his hazel eyes full of emotions that Frank couldn't decipher.

"What have you figured out?" Frank asked.

"Sit down," Gerard motioned to the empty hospital bed, and sat down himself. Frank joined him at his side. "I've figured out that you're my best friend. You're the best friend I could ask for in the entire world. I hope that didn't sound too gay..."

"It didn't. But who gives a fuck anyways?"

"I seriously can not function without you in my life, man. I know I was having some problems, with the drinking and stuff... but I'm working on getting better. I have to take anti depressants now..."

"Legit!?" Frank interrupted again. "Damn,"

"Yeah, no kidding," Gerard chuckled. "But something else happened. I think I'm falling in love... with a girl,"

"Who!?" Frank demanded, leaning in close to Gerard with his really big eyes again. Curious, and always hyper.

"Lin-z,"

"Dude!"

"And I think she likes me back,"

"Fucking A!"

"But... I just realized. I realized how you must feel about Jamia,"

"I seriously love her, dude," Frank sighed, hoping it wasn't the wrong thing to say, but it was the truth.

"I know. And I also realized how I really feel about you. You're my best friend- you've always been my best friend. And I seriously need you in my life, dude. No matter what happens, Franky, I still need my best friend," Gerard finally managed to get his speach out. "I.. I wrote a song.. I want you to hear it..." Gerard said. "It'd be better with guitar... but you know my skills are..."

"What skills?" Frank cracked a smile, and Gerard grinned back.

"Exactly," Gerard said, and pulled the peice of paper out of his pocket. He cleared his voice.

"These are the eyes and the lies of the taken  
These are their hearts but their hearts don't beat like ours  
They burn, cuz' they are all afraid, for everyone of us  
There's an army of them, but you'll never fight alone  
Cuz' I wanted you to know  
That the world is ugly,  
But you're beautiful to me  
Well are you thinking of me, now? (now)  
These are the nights and the lights that we fade in  
These are the words, but the words aren't coming out  
They burn cuz' they are hard to say  
For every failing sun, there's a morning after  
Though I'm empty when you go  
I just wanted you to know  
That the world is ugly, but you're beautiful to me  
Are you thinking of me?  
Like I'm thinking of you?  
I would say I'm sorry though, though I really need to go  
I just wanted you to know  
I wanted you to know  
I wanted you to know  
I'm thinking of you  
Every night, every day  
These are the lies and the lives of the taken  
These are the hearts but their hearts don't beat like ours  
They burn, cuz' they are all afraid  
But mine beats twice as hard  
Cuz' the world is ugly, but you're beautiful to me!  
Are you thinking of me?  
Like I'm thinking of you?  
I would say I'm sorry though, though I really need to go…  
I just wanted you to know  
That the world is ugly, but you're beautiful to me (I just wanted you to know)  
Are you thinking of me?  
Stop your crying  
Helpless feeling  
Dry your eyes and start believing  
There's one thing they'll never take from you"

"I hope that was able to explain things, better than I did..." Gerard said after he'd finished. Frank hadn't said anything, just stared at him. "I really didn't mean to mess anything up with us, Franky," Gerard said. Frank smiled.

"I didn't either. I know I fucked up, big time. I was a shitty friend," Frank said. "I'm really really sorry. But I wanted to give you this," Frank leaned forward, and for one last time Gerard and Frank's lips met. It was a kiss, sweet- very sweet, but not passionate. No spark. Just a kiss.

"A last kiss, and now we'll never do it again," Frank said after they broke apart. Gerard smiled, and so did Frank. "Best friends. Forever, right?"

"Forever and ever amen," Gerard smirked.

!

Jamia had been returning from the bathroom when she'd seen Frank and Gerard leaving the waiting room. It was an invasion of privacy, to follow them, but she couldn't help herself. Gerard's song was so sweet it nearly made her cry. Suddenly she understood, she really did, what was going on with Gerard and Frank. She understood the kiss she saw at the church concert, and she understood how they felt about each other. It was like a light switch flicked on in her head. Frank was right all that time. Homophobia was gay. What should it matter what gender two people are, if they're really in love?

And when she heard Frank say that he loved her she felt so happy. And the fact that they were both willing to give up whatever sexual things they had together, to be with girls they were in love with... God that was romantic! She carefully snuck back to the waiting room, figuring they'd be coming out soon. Jamia decided it was finally time for her to tell her parents that she was dating Frank. She wanted them to know, because for the first time she really felt like she was in love.

Ray shot her a questioning glance as she walked in. "Where is everybody?" he asked.

"Gerard and Frank are friends again," she said with a smile, setting down on a chair next to Ray.

"Thank the good LORD Jesus," Ray said, closing his eyes. He opened one and eyed Jamia. "Sorry," he added.

"haha, It's fine. I'm happy too, and I'm sure Jesus is as well," Jamia said.

Frank and Gerard walked in, and Frank sat down next to Jamia and kissed her on the cheek. She smiled. Gerard sat down next to Mikey, and leaned his head over to rest on his brother's shoulder. Soon both Way brothers were asleep, but Gerard fell asleep smiling.

!

Three hours later Mikey could be found curled up on the floor, half under two chairs. Gerard was sleeping stretched out on the chairs above his brother, his head resting in Frank's lap. Frank didn't care, he was asleep with Jamia under his arms. And Ray was propped up in the corner with Gerard's feet in his lap (Gerard was just using everybody as a pillow, lol).

A nurse came in, a different one from earlier, due to shift change, and giggled at the sight of them all. Of course, it was six a.m. and there were barely any people waiting to see patients this early. These kids had obviously been there all night.

"Uhm, excuse me," she called out. Mikey startled awake and smacked his head on a chair, and letting out an audible groan. The rest of the teens woke up as well, more gracefully than Mikey had. "You guys Bob's friends?" the nurse asked.

"Yeah," Ray answered for them. "How is he?"

"He is doing very good, you can all go in and see him now," she said with a smile, and they nearly ran out of the room.


	55. Chapter 55

"If I have to go through another effing blood test, I'm going to kill somebody. And Mikey, get that camera out of my face, I swear to God-" Bob had been at the hospital for an entire week, and he was getting restless. Okay, no. He was restless.

"Bob, chill man. If your monitor starts beeping again more nurses will come fuss over you," Frank warned, and Bob glared at him. At least Mikey had put away the freaking video camera.

"Yeah man. And don't even think about trying to sneak out again," Gerard said, shaking a pen at Bob. "That ended in disaster,"

"Stupid nurses," Bob cursed under his breath. And then the door opened and a nurse bustled in. She used a butterfly needle thing to draw blood from Bob's hand- Gerard cringed and could barely watch. He freaking hated needles! The nurse left and Bob let out another string of curse words about nurses and blood tests.

"Frank, wake Ray up," Gerard instructed, and planted a kiss on the paper he held in his hand. Frank woke Ray up, and Ray rubbed his eyes. "I finished the song,"

"What song?" Bob glared suspisciously at his friends when he saw the mischief in Gerard's smile.

"Trust me," Gerard winked, and Frank, Ray, and Gerard all gathered around to see the paper. Mikey turned his video camera on them. "You guys ready for this? Follow my lead,"

They sounded like a freaking barbershop quartet, like with the stupid straw hats and everything. But the song was funny and Bob couldn't help but laugh at his friends, especially with the last line.

"Well they encourage your complete cooperation, send you roses when they think you need to smile. I can't control myself because I don't know how, and they love me for it. Honestly, I'll be here for a while. I gave them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff. Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough. I give you blood, blood, blood! Grab a glass because there's going to be a flood.

"A celebrated man amungst the gourneys. They can fix me proper with a bit of luck. The doctors and the nurses they adore me so, but it's really quite alarming, cause I'm such an awful fuuuuuck. I gave you blood, blood, gallons of the stuff. Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough. I give you blood, blood, BLOOOD! I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love!"

"Woo!" Mikey cheered, clapping his hands and disturbing the camera. Bob clapped as well, laughing. And then a man's voice could be heard laughing, which startled all of the teens, and the door was pushed open.

"Cute song, boys," it was Bob's father, except none of them knew that except Bob. Bob's eyes grew wide and he looked shocked.

"Dad!?" Bob exclaimed. "What are you doing back?"

"I got Henry to cover my trailer, and got back as fast as I could. How are you doing?" Mr. Bryar explained.

"Good... great," Bob said, breaking into a smile. His father was back. That was... perfect!

"I assume these are your friends?" Mr. Bryar asked, motioning to Frank, Gerard, Ray, and Mikey who simply stood there awkwardly.

"Oh yeah," Bob said. "That's Ray with the afro, Gerard in the Iron Maiden t-shirt, Mikey with the camera, and the short one is Frank,"

"Hey!" Frank protested, sticking out his tongue.

"Would you boys mind if I had some time alone with my son?" Mr. Bryar asked politely, and they all looked at each other for a moment before Gerard spoke up.

"Who wants coffee?" he asked.

"OOH! ME!" Mikey exclaimed, rushing from the room, then turning back to call, "Come ONNN guys!" The rest followed, leaving the father and son alone.

!

"Daddy, I have to tell you something," Jamia hesitantly pushed open the door to her father's study. Mr. Nestor was sitting behind his desk, and looked up at his daughter over the edges of his bible that he was reading. Jamia gulped.

"Jamia, dearest. Come in, what is it?" he asked, and Jamia sat down in a chair across from the desk. She felt like she was in the principal's office instead of her own home with her father, but then again it always felt like that.

"Do you remember Frank?" she asked, nervous.

Mr. Nestor, to her surprise, chuckled. "Hard to forget a character like him. I've been praying for him,"

"Dad, I'm in love with him," Jamia blurted the words out before she could stop them. She felt a tremendous weight lift off her shoulders, but the look on her father's face set a heavy led in her stomach.

"Come again?"

"I'm in love with Frank. He's my boyfriend..." she said, fading out on the last word.

"No. This is not acceptable," Mr. Nestor said simply, raising up his bible again. Jamia stared at him a moment, slack jawed. He was trying to end the conversation. If he ignored her, she'd go away. She was just a problem to him.

"I want your blessing to date him," she pressed, staring down her father.

"You will not have my blessing, and you will not be dating him," Mr. Nestor said in a too calm voice. "I will see to it,"

"Are you even listening to me?" Jamia demanded, standing up.

"You will not use that tone of voice with me, young lady," Mr. Nestor's voice was harsh. _There, that was better,_ Jamia thought. Finally she got a reaction.

"Why do you hate Frank so much!?" Jamia demanded, keeping her tone.

"He's not right for you,"

"I love him!"

"How can you love a boy who's kissed another male!?" Mr. Nestor demanded, rising to his feet as well. "Homosexuality is a mortal sin!"

"Why should that be considered so wrong?" Jamia asked. "If we took every word of the old testiment literally, Dad, every commandment. Well, shit. I'm going to hell already because I just said shit. Shit shit SHIT!" Jamia screamed.

"The LORD does not condone this kind of behavior, and neither do I in my own house," Mr. Nestor roared.

"God forgives sins, doesn't he!?"

"Don't you dare try to argue the Holy Word with me young lady!"

"Why the hell not!? Scared you're going to lose!?"

"You're grounded! Go up to your room. You'll never be seeing Frank Iero again!" Mr. Nestor yelled.

"If we want to be together, then there is no force that can stop us," Jamia said, tears streaming down her face as she backed out of his father's office. "Bisexual or not, I love him. I'll go on without your blessing. It means nothing to me," Jamia turned and stomped out of the office, up to her room, and slammed her door as hard as she could. At that moment she realized that she'd made an enemy of her father, and that was the scariest realization she'd ever faced. But Frank was worth it. Frank was worth anything.

Jamia curled up in bed and cried her eyes out. Why did it all have to be so hard?

!

Bob and his dad had been talking for an hour so far, and Bob could tell his father was exhausted.

"Sir, visiting hours are over," the nurse came in and said. Bob wondered if his dad was just gonna sleep in the waiting room like his friends had that first night, but he knew that would be unnecessary. They didn't live so far away.

"I'm gonna head home, Bobby. Don't call your mother though, I want it to be a surprise," Mr. Bryar winked at his son, and Bob felt the color drain from his face for a moment.

"She doesn't know you're here?" Bob asked. _What if she has_ company_ over?_

"Nope, I wanted to keep it a secret for you guys," Bob's dad smiled his wrinkly smile, and Bob did his best to smile back, but it felt awkward. "Something wrong, Bob? You look sick,"

"No, nothing's wrong. It's just..." how was he supposed to convince his dad not to go home? That was nonsense. If he said anything, then his dad would know something was up. And if he called his mom after his dad left, then it wouldn't be a surprise. His mom was a horrid actor, he'd know Bob had called her, and he'd know something was going on. Bob gulped.

"Nothing's wrong. My legs just hurt," Bob said, shrugging a bit. "Go home and surprise Mom and Danni. I'll see you tomorrow?"

His dad kissed him on the forehead. "See you tomorrow, drummer," he said, before leaving the room. _There's nothing to do in this situation._ Bob told himself. _Nothing to do but wait._

!

Gerard had snuck in about ten minutes after Bob's dad left with a couple of cokes, since all the nurses gave Bob was grape juice. Stupid white grape juice too, not even the good purple kind that stained your tongue.

The boy's sat in Bob's hospital room, drank their cokes, and just talked. True to his word (which he'd only said to himself, only in his head...) Gerard was getting to know Bob better. Bob told him about the girlfriend he'd left behind in Chicago, and how he was practically raising his little sister now. And when Bob asked, Gerard told him about Lin-z. He told Bob how she'd encouraged him to stop drinking, and how she'd helped him make up with Frank.

"She's a real life saver, you know?" Gerard asked. Then the door slammed open and a very red faced Mr. Bryar stormed in. Gerard had fallen out of his chair in shock and was now hiding behind it, since Bob had mouthed the word "HIDE!" He was just out of sight of Mr. Bryar.

Honestly Bob hadn't expected his dad to return so fast. His fears were confirmed, his dad had walked in on his mom and the asshole.

"Did you know about this!?" Mr. Bryar demanded. "Huh!?"

"Know about what, Dad?" Bob choked out. He was scared. His dad was NEVER this angry.

"You know certainly what, don't like to me Robert Nathaniel!" Mr. Bryar yelled. _Ah shit, _Gerard thought. _Middle name meant business._ He wondered what Bob was hiding from his dad for the man to be so angry.

"Look me in the eyes and swear to me that you didn't know your mother was having an affair," Mr. Bryar challenged. _Ah snap! _Gerard thought from his hiding place.

"How the hell was I supposed to tell you!?" Bob asked, sounding more sad than angry. "You're never home! I've had enough of a hard time trying to raise Danni, since Mom doesn't have any time for us anymore. And then you just showed up... I couldn't just ruin the good mood Dad! And I couldn't tell you something like that," Bob said. "I'm sorry,"

Gerard jumped slightly when the chair rocked back. Mr. Bryar had sat down in it, and Gerard felt awfully volnerable in his hiding place.

"I-I'm sorry," Mr. Bryar said. "This isn't your fault. I shouldn't take it out on you..."

"I wanted to tell you. From the first day... but I didn't want to hurt you," Bob said.

"You've done nothing to hurt me, Bob. This isn't your fault,"

"Dad..."

"We'll figure it out," Mr. Bryar promised. He stood again, and patted Bob on the head as if he were a kitty cat. "Get some sleep. I'm going to go somewhere to think. It'll be okay now,"

"Dad, don't leave Danni there alone," Bob said. "She was so upset before,"

"I didn't leave her there, don't worry," Mr. Bryar said. Then he turned and left the room.

Gerard rose slowly to his feet from his hiding spot and stared wide eyed at the now closed door. He looked down at Bob, who looked like he was trying really hard to hold it together.

"That's a lot of shit, dude," Gerard said in a near whisper. "God, I'm so sorry,"

"Thanks," Bob said. "Hey, Gee... I'm just gonna go to sleep, okay? I'll talk to you later or something,"

"Yeah, okay. Sure. Talk to you later, man," Gerard said, then he too left. Even alone though, Bob couldn't sleep. He simply lay in the hospital bed and stared up at the ceiling tiles, and wondered why his life was falling apart.


	56. Chapter 56

"Hey Mom," Ray broke the silence that had settled over the kitchen that morning at breakfast, and everyone looked up to stare at him. "When does Ed come home?"

His mom pursed her lips for a moment, and Ray's father raised an eyebrow at his son from behind his newspaper. Tito just shifted his eyes between Ray and his mom.

"I don't know," she said simply, standing stark still and staring off at nothing. She stayed like that for a moment before slamming down her glass, spilling all the water out of it, and running from the room.

"Smooth, Ray," Ray's dad said, a slight chuckle in his voice. "Real smooth,"

!

"So how have things been going for you, Frank?" Carla, Frank's almost-step-mother, asked as she drove down the street. The car had long ago been repaired from the damage Frank had caused with his baseball bat, but his father never let him forget it. Carla, on the other hand, was a bit more forgiving.

"I have a girlfriend now," Frank said with a smug grin on his face. _Finally,_ he thought.

"Your father told me you were dating that boy... Gerard?" Carla said, furrowing her brow and Frank couldn't help it when a giggle escaped him.

"Haha, no. We're just really close friends," Frank said. "We've been best friends since third grade," Frank said, grinning slightly and looking over at Carla.

"That's a long time," Carla offered.

"Yeah. And I mean, it's not like I wouldn't go out with him... I mean the guy is hot! But I just really like Jamia, and Gerard's more like a brother to me," Frank said.

"It sounds like you really have things figured out," Carla said with another grin. "It's rare that happens at your age,"

"Yeah," Frank said quietly. "Why am I even coming over this weekend if Dad's working?" Frank asked, a bit peturbed by the whole senario.

"Maybe I'd like to spend some time with you, Frank," Carla said, and she didn't even have a different tone of voice or anything, but Frank exploded into a fit of giggles.

_Damn it, perverted teenage mind! That is so wrong!_ Frank scolded himself, and tried to stop laughing.

"Sorry," he muttered, giggling again. To his surprise, Carla started laughing too.

"I didn't mean it like that, butt face, and you know it," Carla said, laughing. "That's sick. I just meant that since we're going to be family soon we might as well get to know each other better."

"Oh okay, cool. So what did you have in mind?" Frank asked.

"Well, I hear you really like music..."

!

"Miiiiiikey," Gerard whined, pushing open his little brother's bedroom door and shuffling into the room. It was nearly noon, and Mikey was still in bed. The younger groaned in protest and pulled his blanket up over his head.

"Wakey wakey, Mikey," Gerard nearly sang, as he walked across the room and opened the blinds. He started messing around with things in Mikey's room, and Mikey sighed at all the noise his brother was making.

"Gerard, I'm trying to sleep," he said.

"It's time to get up," Gerard responded.

"Fuck that," Mikey grumbled.

"Naughty words, Michael. Ought to wash your mouth out with soap," Gerard tutted.

"You're the one who taught me to cuss, asshole," Mikey said, holding onto the last thread of hope that Gerard would leave and he could go back to sleep. He'd stayed up too late last night- way too far into the early morning, texting Alicia. Now he was exhausted.

"Look alive, sunshine," Gerard droned, then tugged Mikey's blanket off of him with a grand pull. Mikey groaned again, laying flat on his back and pulling a pillow over his face. The cold air was harsh to his bare skin, since he was sleeping in nothing more than his boxers. Speaking of his boxers... it felt a little funny down there. Oh crap.

"Well somebody's happy to see me," Gerard giggled. "Having dirty dreams about Alicia, are we?" Gerard asked, mischief in his voice.

"Shut up," Mikey said, sitting up and scrubbing his eyes. "At least I don't have creepy dreams about Frank,"

"Oh yeah, every night," Gerard said sarcastically and rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you can hear me moaning. 'Ooooh Frank! Ooooh yeah, I like that!'"

Mikey ran out of the room as fast as he could, leaving Gerard to collapse on the younger's bed, laughing hysterically.

!

"Mikey, I hate my hair," Gerard said about an hour later. Mikey was perched on the counter, sipping slowly at a cup of coffee and texting away on his phone, while Gerard glared at the mirror and picked at himself.

"What do you mean, you hate your hair? I thought you liked it that way?" Mikey said, not looking up.

"Yeah, I used to like it. But it's been black for a while now... it's kind of depressing," Gerard sighed.

"Never thought I'd hear you, of all people, ever say that," Mikey said.

"I mean, I love black. But the black hair, and the black clothes, and the black make up... you think it's a bit much? Like, it's kind of a downer. No wonder I'm depressed," Gerard said.

"Well, what are you gonna do about it?" Mikey asked, finally setting his phone down and looking up. Gerard face suddenly lit up with a mischevious smirk.

!

"Mom's gonna kill us if she finds us in here," Mikey said, a bit nervously, as Gerard dug through the cabinet of hair products his mom had brought home from the beauty salon.

"That's why you're keeping watch, dumby," Gerard said, his head still ducked into the cabinet.

"What are you even looking for?" Mikey asked, sounding like he was whining.

"You'll see,"

"Whatever it is, you know Mom would do it for you," Mikey argued. "It's her job, afterall."

"I don't want it done professionally. It won't look right," Gerard said.

"Whatever, Mr. Diva. Just hurry up,"

Back in the security of the hall bathroom, Gerard leaned over the tub with his eyes screwed shut as Mikey bleached his hair.

"Fuck! It burns!" Gerard complained. "Ah shit, is it supposed to burn like that!?"

"I don't fucking know! Just hold still, you don't want this in your eyes," Mikey scolded. He couldn't believe Gerard was making him do this.

"Ah fuck,"

"You big baby. Hold on a second, I'm going to rinse your hair," Mikey rinsed out Gerard's hair and they wrapped a towel around his head. "How much bleach can you inhale before you die?" Mikey asked, coughing.

"Let's open a fucking window, this smells nasty," Gerard said, struggling with the old window and letting a burst of cold air into the tiny bathroom.

"What now?" Mikey asked.

"Now, dearest Michael, we dye it," Gerard said, smiling widely.

*One hour later*

"Christ on a coconut... Gerard you look... amazing!" Mikey said.

"Did you just say 'christ on a coconut?" Gerard raised an eyebrow, and Mikey simply shrugged. "You really think it looks good?"

"Dude, you look totally awesome,"

"You think Lin-z's gonna like it?" Gerard asked nervously, biting his bottom lip.

"She's going to love it," Mikey said.

!

Monday.

Gerard's parents had finally gotten over the shock of what their eldest son had done to himself. When Frank saw it he actually screamed and hugged Gerard, exclaiming how 'fucking awesome!' he looked. Ray approved. But that's not who Gerard was worried about.

Gerard was searching in his locker for a book he swore he'd had on Friday, but somehow it wasn't there anymore. He'd already recieved scowls from various people about his hair, and a compliment or two from two girls he'd never seen before, which he thought was kind of cool.

But he hadn't seen Lin-z yet, so none of their opinions meant anything to him.

A hand tapped Gerard on the shoulder, and he jumped- making a noise that was a bit more feminine than he would like to admit. That was followed by a soft laugh that he recognized, and then someone dangling his lost book in front of his nose.

"Is this what you're looking for?" Lin-z asked, smiling sweetly.

"Uh, yeah... thanks," Gerard said, smiling at Lin-z. "Frank really liked his song, by the way,"

"That's good. So you two are buds again?" she asked.

"Yeah, all thanks to you," Gerard said, and he was really tempted to lean in and kiss her, right then. Gerard bit down on his bottom lip. No. He couldn't. Lin-z wasn't his yet, and she wouldn't be until Gerard could find the balls to ask her. He didn't know why, but he was absolutely terrified. Maybe he was scared that she would say no, laugh in his face, tell the world how stupid he was to think he had a chance... but he was equally afraid that she would say yes. _So,_ he decided, _I just won't ask her. Problem solved._ Except it wasn't.

"You look nervous," she noted, running a soft finger down his cheek and causing him to shiver. Something else reacted to that and he cursed at the fact that he was a guy.

"I'm not... well, yeah, I am... d-do you notice anything different about me?" he asked, biting down on his bottom lip.

"Watch out girls, Way's hair glare is blinding," the snide remarks of a cheerleader were well overheard by everyone in the hallway as she and her posse passed. Lin-z's eyes narrowed, and she turned, opening her mouth to say something. She felt a soft hand settle on her shoulder though, and stopped.

"Don't," Gerard whispered in her ear. "She's not worth it,"

Lin-z watched regrettably as they walked away and then looked up to look in Gerard's eyes. Gerard gave a weak smile.

"I like it," she stated.

"Huh?"

"You're hair. It looks really good red. Kinda hot," Lin-z said. Gerard smirked.

"Like a firetruck," Gerard said. "At least that's what the box said..."

"Fire trucks aren't hot," Lin-z laughed. "Fires are hot."

"Lin-z... there's something I wanna tell you..." Gerard finally said, feeling himself blush. Sure enough, his cheeks and the bridge of his nose became tinted with a light pink color.

"Me too, actually," Lin-z said, blushing as well.

"You go first," Gerard urged.

"Why?"

"Because I'm nervous," Gerard said honestly. Lin-z laughed lightly, and Gerard smiled, squinting slightly at her. He laughed a bit too.

"You're laughing at me," he whined.

"You're cute," Lin-z said, setting a hand on Gerard's chest. He blushed darker now, a more noticable red contrasting his pale skin. He wondered if she could feel his heart pounding underneath his school blazer. She could, and she thought his nervousness was completely adorable.

"uhh.. I... uhh..."

"What were you going to tell me?" Lin-z asked.

"I don't remember..." Gerard said honestly, completely blank. "I think you broke my brain..."

"Oops, I'm sorry," Lin-z giggled. "Maybe this will help," she stood up on tip toe and lightly kissed Gerard on the lips. It didn't last more than a second, but it totally caught Gerard off guard.

"I think that made it worse," Gerard mumbled, and Lin-z's face dropped, so he back tracked. "In-in-in a good way!" he insisted. "Lin-z... I really like you..." he finally said.

"I really like you too," she confessed, staring up into his big hazel eyes. "Gerard... will you be my boyfriend?" she asked.

"Uhhh... yeah... yeah! Yes!" Gerard said, beaming down at her. She beamed back.

"Awesome!" she smiled. Gerard leaned down and kissed her, harder this time, and then pulled her into a tight hug.

"God, you're amazing," he whispered into her hair, and she giggled.

"Yeah, I know," she said. The bell rang, and Lin-z winked back at Gerard as she walked to class.


	57. Chapter 57

Frank was head banging down the hallway and dancing around like a madman. It was after seventh hour and he was finally free from school! His step-mom had taken him to the coolest record shop! Frank thought record shops were dying out, but this one was hanging in there. And it was awesome! He'd bought several new cd's… the newest Misfits one, The Used, Iron Maiden- Number of the Beast(the only one he didn't have), and The Killers. He'd gotten them on his ipod, and he was the happiest midget ever.

He kept his headphones blasting as he walked through the hallways. Someone shoved him, and he simply rolled off of it and kept on going- laughing like a madman. Nothing could kill his good mood- he was freaking BEAMING!

Frank nodded to Ray as he passed, and Ray nodded back with a small grin. He jumped to snatch away Mikey's hat as he passed, but missed and fell down. Mikey laughed at his shorter friend and helped him up.

"Man, you're insane," Mikey laughed.

"No, I don't like cheese puffs!" Frank shouted back. He was deaf from his ear buds, and Mikey only laughed harder.

"Forget it," Mikey chuckled.

"Taco salad? Ew, nah it's not vegan, dude!" Frank said, still way too loud.

"Get out of here!" Mikey yelled, pushing Frank down the hallway. Frank laughed and kept on walking.

Frank saw Gerard standing at his locker with Lin-z and he ran up to them.

"Somebody told me, that you have a boyfriend! That looks like a girlfriend that I had in February of last year!" Frank sang out, dancing around the two. Lin-z laughed and danced along with him, and then he and Gerard broke into synchronized head banging.

Frank finally pulled out his ear buds and hugged both Lin-z and Gerard in a big bear hug.

"So you love doves finally hook up?" Frank asked.

"You know it, Frankie," Gerard smiled really wide and smacked Frank on the ass really hard.

"Ow!" Frank jumped forward. "Geeze Gerard,"

"I'm the luckiest boy in the world," Gerard smiled, hugging Lin-z close to him. Lin-z smiled and blushed slightly.

Frank wrapped his ear buds around his ipod and held it in his fist. "Good to hear it," Frank said, smiling. "Three cheers for young love!" he yelled suddenly, thrusting his fist in the air.

Someone grabbed his ipod out of his hand, and Frank turned to them. It was Kevin, Jonathan, and Cindy. Just his luck. He had been hoping Kevin had gotten expelled, but it must have just been a suspension.

"Thank you very much," Jonathan said, handing it to Kevin and keeping it out of Frank's reach. Kevin dropped it on the ground and crushed it under his heel.

"Hey!" Frank protested, dropping to his knees and staring down at his destroyed ipod. _Well, this sucks._

"Look at this, Frankie the fag and his emo pals. You're used to being on your knees like that, huh?" Kevin sneered.

"Back off, Kevin," Gerard growled.

"Watch yourself Way. Wouldn't want you getting in trouble again," Jonathan warned, but Kevin said nothing. Maybe he still remembered the beating Gerard had given him the day of the food fight.

"You guys having a three way later?" Kevin asked.

"Wouldn't you love to be invited? Maybe we could video tape it for you," Frank said, rising to his feet and clenching his teeth, just to have two strong hands shoved him back against the locker. A crowd of people started gathering around. Frank hit his head really hard on the locker, and a whimper escaped his lips.

"You're pathetic," Kevin laughed. Gerard took a step forward, but Lin-z held him back.

"Come on sweet heart, let him protect his boyfriend," Kevin laughed.

"I'm not your sweetheart," Lin-z glared at Kevin. "Leave us alone,"

"Wouldn't that be nice of us?" Cindy giggled. "Too bad it doesn't work like that," Cindy turned to the crowd surrounding them. "Hey! Who here thinks Frank and Gerard make a cute, faggot couple?" she called out. Parts of the crowd cheered in agreement, some sent in negative, homophobic remarks. There was a lot of laughing, and Gerard blushed a dark red.

"One kiss," Cindy offered, "And we'll leave you alone."

"Back off, Cindy," Frank shouted. "I'm not kissing my best friend! You know you'll never drop it,"

"Just one," she cooed. "Come on darling, we all know you've done it before,"

"Huh?" Frank blushed as well this time.

"At a certain youth concert…" Cindy said, only loud enough for them to hear. "Someone sent me a picture."

Frank and Gerard's eyes grew wide. _Holy crap._

"Yupp," Cindy smirked, and Kevin laughed loud at her side. "If you refuse to kiss now, then everyone in the entire school will see the picture. Worthless faggots."

"Why are you doing this to them?" Lin-z asked. "In front of the whole school… Cindy, what's wrong with you?"

"Are you two going to do it?"

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" Jonathan started a chant and the crowd joined in. Gerard and Frank looked at each other nervously. Sure they could do it… but they both had girlfriends now… they had promised to never kiss again… and they had nothing to prove to these people.

"KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!" the crowd chanted on. "Come on, faggots!" a voice called out. Then someone burst out of the crowd and ran towards them. It was Jamia.

"Leave them alone!" She yelled. "You people want a kiss!?" She challenged to crowd.

"KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!" the crowd continued.

"Fine!" Jamia yelled. "I love Frank Iero! MY BOYFRIEND!" and then she grabbed him by his school tie, pulled him close, and kissed him on the lips. Frank wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer.

"WOO!" someone in the crowd cheered. It was Ray, who'd just arrived there. "Go Frank and Jamia!"

Lin-z stood up on her tip toes and kissed Gerard on the cheek, and he smiled. Finally Jamia and Frank broke apart and smiled at each other.

"Come on," Jamia said to them. "Let's go,"

They took off running and the crowd cleared a path for them. Lin-z and Gerard were holding hands as they ran, so when Lin-z stopped, she tugged Gerard to a stop next to her.

"Thank you for the venom!" they both shouted at the same time, kissed, and then ran off laughing. Ray ran after them, and they picked Mikey up from his locker before running out of the school.

!

The week passed and they were like celebrities. They had never been as popular as they were for those first few days. By Friday it was finally wearing off, and things were going back to normal. Cindy, Kevin, and Jonathan weren't messing with them too much to their faces, but they were bashing them behind their backs.

"Guys, would you just shut up about it?" Peter snapped, fed up with hearing the same stupid things over and over again. It was getting really annoying, he was bored, and most of what they were saying wasn't even true.

"What's up with you?" Kevin asked. "Before you would have joined in with us. You suddenly like those guys or something?"

"I don't have a problem with them, and I don't see why you guys do," Peter argued. "All you ever do is make fun of them. Come on, don't you guys have lives?"

"What the hell man?" Jonathan snapped.

"I thought you were cool," Cindy sighed and shook her head. "Obviously you're one of them, then,"

"Why does there have to be sides!?" Peter demanded. "You guys are mental! You know what? I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore!" Peter stood up from the table and walked across the cafeteria- towards Gerard's table. Everyone in the cafeteria watched him, wondering what was going on at the 'popular' table. He stopped at the end of Gerard's table and they all stared up at him.

"Can we help you?" Gerard hissed.

"Can I sit here, please?" Peter asked. "I've realized that the people I used to call my friends are complete retards, and I'm tired of listening to them make fun of you,"

"If this is a trap-" Gerard started.

"Gerard give the guy a break," Mikey interrupted. "Peter's cool. Grab a seat," Mikey said, and Peter smiled and sat down. Gerard clamped his mouth shut, and Lin-z's hand found its way to his thigh. She gave him a slightly squeeze and a small smile.

"Did you really sell those tickets to Smashing Pumpkins?" Peter asked Mikey.

"Yeah, I decided I'd just catch their next show or something. They'll be on the east coast for a while," Mikey said scratching the back of his head. He scrunched up his face, trying to push his glasses up without using his hands.

"We have a gig going on tonight, if you wanna come," Ray offered.

"Legit? Where at?" Peter asked.

"3rd Base. The bar on west side. You in?" Ray asked.

"Totally, I'll be there," Peter smiled. "How's Bob doing?"

"He got released yesterday, but he can't walk yet. Good thing he doesn't have to stand up to play drums," Frank said.

"So he's doing okay?"

"Yeah, he's okay,"

!

Bob didn't feel okay. He was condemned to bed rest, and Danni was trying to play nurse with him. He loved the kid, but all he wanted was to be left alone. He had a decision to make, and it was tearing him up.

His father had gotten the divorce papers, and his mother had signed them. Bob had to decide who he wanted to live with. If he chose his mother, then he'd stay here- continue to be ignored, have to put up with her and her lover. She'd become a bit mean from this whole thing, somewhat blaming Bob for not warning her that her husband was coming home. Bob didn't know how long she'd stay angry like that, and Bob didn't really want to stay with her.

But if he chose his father- which he really wanted to- he'd have to move back to Chicago. He'd leave his friends and the band, but he'd stay with his dad and Danni. Bob just wanted to scream. It was tearing him up.

It didn't matter, they had a gig that night. And if it was going to be his last, then he'd play with all his heart. He'd just have to tell the guys later; because he was really sure he was going to end up with his Dad.

A tear traveled down Bob's cheek and Danni's eyes widened. "Bob, you okay?" she asked. "You need more pain medicine?"

"Yeah, thanks," Bob lied. He just wanted to be alone for a moment. He wiped his eyes on the back of his hand and laid his head back.


	58. Chapter 58

When she had hung out with her soon-to-be-step-son, Carla was surprised to find how enjoyable his presence could be. Normally he just moped around, arguing with his father or not saying anything, or he just hid up in his room. That was always when Frank Sr. was around.

Of course Frank Sr. had told his fiancé how it used to be between him and his son. Apparently they used to be close. But when Frank Sr. fell out grew up and fell out of the rocker scene just as Frank Jr. was falling into it, a gap formed. It was a bunch of misunderstanding, the father taking Frank's teenage behavior and emotions as rebellion, and the son taking his father's misunderstanding to be intolerance and apathy. It was an unhealthy connection, and Carla wished she knew how to fix it.

Then an idea hit her. Frank had told her all about the gig his band would be performing, at some bar in West Side Belleview. Third Base, she believed it was. Carla didn't tell Frank Sr. where they were going, just that they were going out for a drink. He would see his son play, and then maybe they could reconnect.

While she was at it, she called up Gerard's mom and dad and told them about the gig. Mrs. Way couldn't make it, and Mr. Was made no promises to be there. Still, Carla was hopeful. She also called Ray's parents, who had no idea about the gig. She wondered how many of the parents would actually show up.

!

Third Base was really nice about letting the guys set up early. Some regulars were sitting at the bar and staring curiously at the boys at six o' clock while they set up. They still had two hours before show time.

Ray of course was sitting on an amp, his guitar on his lap as he played with it. Gerard and Mikey were messing around with Bob, playing with his drum set since he couldn't stand up to chase them off. They eventually put all the drums back the way they were supposed to be, but only after Bob threatened the Spanish Inquisition and threw a drumstick that hit Mikey in the head and knocked off his glasses. Frank and Jamia were hiding out in the back, whispering sweet nothings and doing whatever it is two teenagers in love do. And then once Gerard had left Bob alone, he was sitting on the floor across from Lin-z, drawing demented pumpkins on the toes of her converse.

They had until nine o' clock to play after the clock struck eight. At exactly eight o' one they took the stage, Gerard whispering with a husky voice into the microphone, which sounded rather sexy.

"You guys ready to rock?"

The place had already filled up with more than just the regulars. The old people congregated by the bar in the back, and the young people who were being let in for the night crowded the stage in the front. The young people whooped and the older ones raised an eyebrow.

It was too crowded and dark for Frank to see anyone in the back, but he recognized a few people in the front who had been to more than one of their shows. _Hm,_ he thought,_ we're building a following. _

"We are My Chemical Romance!" Gerard shouted and then they broke into the harsh guitar riffs of the first time. Just before the first verse Bob started slamming on the guitars, and Gerard screamed into the microphone "You're beautiful!"

Then the song took off.

Thanks to her fiancé's stubbornness, Carla and Frank Sr. showed up around 7:30 pm. She led him to the back towards the bar and took note of how he was bobbing his head to the music, his hand keeping time tapping against his pant leg. Carla smirked, thinking that maybe the rocker was still in there somewhere.

_God, this show rocked!_ Frank hit the final notes on the final song in their set, beaming as sweat dripped from his forehead. He caught eyes with Gerard and they exchanged wide smiles that showed all their teeth. Then Gerard pointed out over the audience, and Frank followed his finger.

Frank saw his dad and Carla sitting at the bar. Carla waved at him, and his dad looked happy. Surprised, he simply waved back with a dear in the head lights look on his face.

"Thank you, Third Base! You guys rock!" Gerard yelled out, but Frank barely heard him. Gerard finished off saying, "We're selling cd's, so just grab one of us if you're into it. We'll be hanging out for a while. We love you!"

They left the stage, and Frank ran through the crowd to his father in the back.

"What are you guys doing here?" Frank gasped, wiping his face on his sleeve.

"We wanted to come see you play," Carla smiled.

"You did good, son," Frank sr. smiled.

"Thanks Dad," Frank smiled slightly, feeling awkward around his father. He was dressed in his work slacks and shirt with a tie, and he looked nothing like the picture Frank's mother had showed him. "You aren't really dressed for a rock show, huh?"

"I didn't know I was coming to a rock show, Carla dragged me here after work," Frank sr. said. Frank's face dropped slightly. "I'm glad I came though,"

"Me too, Dad. Thanks Carla," Frank felt someone smack his ass, and he turned around to see Ray wink at him. The taller boy pointed across the bar where Frank saw Ray's brother Ed standing. Frank gave Ray a high five. Then he saw Gerard's dad sitting at the bar not far away. Weird, it seemed like everyone's family was there for this show.

Bob knew it was just a coincidence that his mother was there, although she pretended that it wasn't. Bob knew that his mom and her lover had been coming to this bar for a while. But hey, why ruin the good mood? Bob played along.

"Thanks for coming to see us, Mom," Bob said, trying to smile. He ignored the awkward lover who sat off on the side.

!

Mikey dropped his head into his hands and Gerard leaned his head over onto his brother's shoulder. Frank's mouth fell open as he stared at Bob, and Ray let out a cuss word quietly under his breath.

"I'm going to miss you guys," Bob sighed. He was sitting on his bed since he wasn't allowed by his doctor to stand for another week. It was the first time any of his friends were in his room, and it would also be their last.

"I can't believe you're moving back to Chicago," Mikey sighed.

"It's the only option I have. I can't let Danni go alone, and I can't stay here with what's going on," Bob said. Suddenly Frank leapt to his feet and pounced on Bob, wrapping his arms around his friend.

"Hey, hey, now," Bob laughed, patting Frank on the back. "I'm leaving, but you guys aren't losing me," Bob said. "We can still video chat and stuff,"

"Not the same," Frank said, muffled.

"Well, we might as well help you pack then, dude," Gerard said, clapping his hands together. He stood up and threw a box onto the bed. Frank looked up slightly surprised and sighed. He then climbed off the bed and started taking clothes out of the drawers and putting them in the box.

"Hey guys, you don't have to," Bob said. "Really,"

"You can't even stand up, dude," Ray said. "We got this,"

"Thanks," Bob smiled.

"Hey Bobby," Frank said, pulling something out and trying to hide a laugh behind his arm. "What's with the kitty-cat boxers?"

Bob glared at his friends while they all burst out laughing. He picked a clump of string from his blanket and threw it at Frank, yelling "SPIDER!"

Frank ran from the room screaming, and they all doubled over with laughter.


	59. Chapter 59

The group all sat at their lunch table like it was just an ordinary day, but it wasn't ordinary because Bob wasn't there. Even with Peter having joined the table, they still felt empty. The place where Bob had sat every day was empty, and they kept shooting sad glances at the chair.

"Okay, enough of this!" Ray randomly shouted, slamming his tray down and glaring at the group in front of him.

"What!?" Frank snapped at Ray, fastening a glare of his own.

"We can't continue looking at that freaking chair and feeling sorry for ourselves, this is ridiculous," Ray demanded, sitting back down.

"Hey guys," Mikey said in a quiet voice. They all ignored him.

"I'm sorry we're upset, Ray. But if you haven't noticed our best friend is missing!" Frank snapped.

"That doesn't mean-,"

"Hey guys!" Mikey yelled this time, catching their attention. "Bob just texted me, he landed in Chicago!" Mikey said with a wide smile.

"Dude, we should call him," Gerard said, and they placed Mikey's phone in the middle of the table and huddled around it.

"Uh, hey Mikes.. what's…?"

"HI BOB!" they all yelled at once, and Bob surely jumped wherever he was.

"Oh hey guys," the phone said in Bob's voice. "What's up?"

"Lunch isn't the same without you," Frank whined.

"Geeze, Frank. Don't make the guy feel bad," Mikey scolded.

"I wasn't…"

"It's alright," Bob spoke again. "What are they serving today?"

"Meatloaf," Frank, the vegetarian, grumbled.

"Ewww nasty," Bob laughed. "Oh yeah, Dad, I'm coming," they could tell his voice wasn't directed at the phone. "Hey guys, I gotta go. But I'll talk to you all later. Video tonight, right?"

"Yeah totally," Gerard said.

"See ya then, Bobby Boy," Frank smiled when he said it.

"Byeeee!" they all called at once, and then hung up just as Peter walked up and sat down at the table.

"Hey dudes, great news," he said, beaming at them.

"What's up?" Mikey asked.

"Since Bob moved to Chicago," Peter started, and Frank frowned again. "I figured you guys need a new drummer,"

"You know a guy?" Ray asked.

"My cousin, James. He's a freshman at B.U. and he's been looking for a band for a while," Peter said.

"He's in college!? Rad!" Gerard exclaimed.

"Yeah, you guys can meet him after school tonight if you swing by my house. Game?" Peter asked.

"Totally, we'll be there," Ray offered up, smiling.

!

They had all crowded into the Way's family car and were driving to Peter's house. It was Mikey and Gerard in the back seat, Frank on shot gun, and Ray driving. They fit much better with only four people, but they felt lonely with their personal space. They all missed Bob still.

Frank was playing with the radio, flipping past dirty rap songs and stupid pop crap, when something caught Gerard's attention. It sounded kinda familiar.

"Franky, flip back a station," he instructed, leaning up between the front seats.

"Uhhh why?" Frank groaned. "I'm trying to find a metal station, Gee,"

"Just do it!" Gerard responded bossily. Frank did, and then they all went insane.

It was one of their songs playing on the college radio station. "Vampires" was playing, and they turned it up full blast. Each of them was losing their minds.

"That was "Vampires Will Never Hurt You," by the band My Chemical Romance. Their manager tells me that they will be playing their next gig next weekend in Macaby Park Auditorium, so all you rock n rollers don't want to miss it! This is Dj Steve, blasting out your favorite tunes," they turned the radio down, and they all stared at each other in wonder.

"Okay, who did it?" Frank broke the silence. None of them had given the song to the radio station.

"Do you think Bob did?" Gerard asked.

"I think I know who," Mikey said, smirking to himself.

!

Just as they suspected, Peter lived in a nice neighborhood. All the houses were twice the size of Frank's house, and all the lawns were green. It made Frank think of his first visit to Jamia's house, and he couldn't help but be nervous.

A nice looking older woman answered the door and smiled at them. "You must be Peter's friends," she said with a smile. Gerard was the first to speak.

"Yes ma'am," he answered, and they all held back giggles. The way Gerard pulled manners out of nowhere was kinda funny, since they all knew he swore like a sailor any other time of the day.

"They're up in Peter's room. Second door to the left," she said, pointing up the stairs.

Peter's room was huge. Sports jerseys hung on the wall, and trophies sat proudly on shelves. None of them were collecting dust. He had a flat screen tv on his wall and a large bed across from it. His room was too clean for a teenage boy's room to be.

"Hey guys, how's it going?" Peter greeted them. He and his cousin James stood up. "This is James," he said, gesturing to the guy next to him.

"So you play drums," Gerard mentioned.

"Yupp," James smiled. "You guys looking for a drummer?"

"Yeah, our drummer just moved to Chicago," Gerard mentioned. "I'm Gerard, the front man. This is my brother Mikey, he plays bass. Frank is on rhythm guitar and back-up vocals. And Ray is our lead guitar genius, also back-up vocals."

"Nice to meet you guys," James smiled. "Wanna see what I got? There's a drum set in the basement,"

Everyone followed them down to the basement, which like the rest of the house was fully furnished. James banged on the drums for a while, and they all agreed that he was worthy and in the band.

"So," Mikey mentioned when they were hanging out in the living room watching tv, "You're our manager now, huh Peter?"

Peter raised an eyebrow but smirked. "You guys heard your song?" he asked.

"Dude, you did that!?" Frank exclaimed, bouncing up and down. "I freaking love this guy!"

"Okay man, you're hired," Gerard said with a smile.

"Good, cause I already got you guys your next gig," Peter said with a smile.

!

Gerard and Mikey sat at the dinner table with their parents. Mr. Way was talking about work or something… some exciting accountant information, and Mrs. Way only pretended to pay attention. Mikey and Gerard were making faces at each other across the dinner table. Gerard stabbed a pea violently and dramatically ate it, pretending to be Godzilla.

"Gerard!" Mr. Way snapped. "Manners, please," he sighed.

Gerard rolled his eyes, and Mikey started giggling.

Over the past two months of being sixteen it seemed that Gerard was finally starting to figure things out. He'd fallen in and out of love, started a food fight, gotten a girlfriend, and his band was going places. Pretty good for a school year that started out with mud balloons. And though he still battled his depression and the urging in the back of his mind to pick up a drink or kiss his best friend, maybe he was okay after all. And even though he missed his grandmother every day of his life, he still heard her cynical words of advice in his head. She was right. Even though it wasn't going to be easy, he was going to make it. Maybe he'd been okay all along, or maybe, secretly, no one was.


	60. Author's Message

Okay... so I got this weird comment from some credit union person that said since mcr is real people I can't have this story.

sooo I'm going to fix this.

I DO NOT OWN THE BAND MEMBERS OF MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, NOR AM I CLAIMING TO! the named people in this story are based off of the true people, they are my renditions of those people, but they are not the people themselves. IN fact one of my characters is pretty Out of CHaracter the whole time, so there. meh!

I do not own them, though I want to. I do not claim to own them, though I would love that. and since I am a fan of these people, and I have written a fiction story about them, then I believe this belongs on the fanfiction site. DUUUUh

haha mother fuckers!

and yeah, the story is over:( im sorry my darlings! hope you all enjoyed the ride! I really appreciated every review I got on this:)


	61. Part two?

**Hey guys! Two things;**

**1) I'm thinking of writing a part two to this story, but it would be in Lyn-z's point of view instead of the boys. Idk yet but it's an idea. anyone interested?**

**2) I have been writing a lot of MCR fanfics lately BUT somehow I got myself placed on a stupid cyber cop list, and now anything about MCR that I post gets deleted. Blehhhhh **

**SO if you care, I'm using Wattpad and Deviantart now. My user names on both are CalculateTheObvious. Check me out if you want. And thanks again you guys for all commenting and faving this. Love you bbys! **


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